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By the Baring of my Soul

~ Chapter Seven ~

"What's this?"

No longer pale from shock but now furiously flushed, Rose stop a foot away from where we stood and held up the dossier, pointing towards it with a finger held rigid in accusation and disgust…as though merely holding it was an act she found offensive.

Glancing at me quickly before turning her burning gaze towards Alberta; the etch of anger between her brows deepened as Rose tried to read me and find answers. Having anticipated that she would automatically turn to me, my features were already schooled into an inscrutably blank expression.

Wanting to reassure her that this was for the best…that both she and Lissa would benefit from being apart, I knew that I couldn't – not without drawing unwanted attention to us and even if I had been able to, something in Rose's body language told me she wasn't in the mood to listen.

What I had considered a blessing, she now considered a betrayal…

Mercifully the gym was all but empty at this stage and only a handful of students still lingering at the doorway were even aware of the exchange. In their excitement over their assignments they were all but oblivious to us.

It was only Eddie – hovering uncertainly on the edges as he looked at Rose guiltily – that would be a witness to what would come.

Angrily dismissing me when she found nothing more than calm deliberation, Rose's accusing eyes turned towards Alberta. To her credit, Alberta had already anticipated this and was more than ready to deal with a belligerent Rose. Affecting an air of innocent confusion whilst all the whilst knowing exactly what she was doing, Alberta guilelessly replied.

"It's your assignment, Miss Hathaway."

Audibly grinding her teeth together in frustration at an answer she didn't want to hear, Rose's jaw clenched and bulged at the sides as she spat out, "No, it's not. This is somebody else's assignment."

Clasping the clipboard over her front as her arms crossed, the last vestiges of any compassion that might have existed over the situation disappeared completely as Rose became more truculent and Alberta became more authoritarian.

It was a battle of wills that Rose would lose even under the best of circumstance…

"The assignments in your field experience aren't optional. Just as your assignments in the real world won't be. You can't pick who you protect based on whim and mood, not here and certainly not after graduation."

Throwing out her arms in disgust, Rose shook the folder with Christian's information in our direction and began yelling in an attempt to get her point across. "But after graduation, I'm going to be Lissa's guardian! Everyone knows that. I'm supposed to have her for this thing."

Having had years of dealing with defiant teenagers – Rose being one of them – I watched as Alberta systematically shut down every emotional response as Rose became more and more worked up. Realizing that this wasn't a simple clerical error, the horror of having Christian to guard was becoming a very real possibility to her.

When I had suggested that it be Christian who was paired with Rose, it had never occurred to me that she would take such a violent disliking to the idea. They had very similar personalities and usually clashed over it when not clashing over Lissa, but after both surviving the terror of Spokane, I had hoped that the shared experience would have diluted the rivalry between them.

Obviously – from Rose's perspective – that wasn't the case.

"I know it's an accepted idea that you'll be together after graduation, but I do not recall any mandatory rulings that say you're 'supposed' to have her or anyone here at school," Alberta countered starkly; cocking a brow as Rose glared venomously.

Concerned at the level of animosity that Rose was displaying towards one of the few Guardians she actually respected and listened to, I took a step closer but neither of them looked away from the other as Alberta finished.

"You take who you're assigned."

Naked incredulity spread across Rose's exotically exaggerated features as her head turned from Alberta's direction to mine, but she found nothing on my face that she hadn't already seen on Alberta's.

"Christian?" she screeched in fury, hurling the binder at Alberta's feet with pure disdain before sneering with enough hostility to momentarily stun her into silence. "You're out of your mind if you think I'm guarding him."

"Rose!" I barked warningly…harshly; the even tenor and barely discernible accent of my voice disrupted by the anger of her attitude and the shock I shared with Alberta. She knew this was unacceptable behaviour.

Taking a threatening step closer to her; looming dark and large over her smaller, rebellious frame, my voice was gruff as I reprimanded her. "You're out of line. You do not speak to your instructors like that."

Watching her flinch as the hardened severity of my tone echoed and amplified around the gymnasium, Rose closed her eyes briefly whilst clenching her teeth tightly together as she tried to regain a measure of composure and restraint...whilst I tried to do the same thing.

Rose was many things: uncontrollable, unpredictable, volatile and wild, but she was never aggressively hostile. I had seen the tantrums, the outbursts, the fits and rages, but I had never seen her this close to the edge of her already rickety control…and it scared me into reacting more harshly than I should have.

"Sorry," Rose hissed tightly as she focused her feverish, argumentative gaze on Alberta; but would not meet my own. There was nothing remotely remorseful about the apology at all; the context of it seemed to be dragged from her against her will. "But this is stupid. Nearly as stupid as not bringing us to Victor Dashkov's trial."

Having recovered herself, Alberta frowned in surprised disapproval as Rose let slip information she should never have known. "How did you know – Never mind. We'll deal with that later. For now, this is your assignment, and you need to do it."

Sounding tired already of an argument that with Rose could go on for days, Alberta's weathered features tightened unarguably as Eddie took a tentative step closer to the fray.

"Look," he began hesitantly, looking between Rose, who all but ignored him and Alberta who did the same as he tried to defuse the tension that felt as though it was a living, breathing thing. "I don't mind…we can switch."

Whipping her head around, Alberta pinned Eddie to the spot with a look so baleful he visibly paled in the face of it and stopped dead in his tracks. "No, you certainly cannot," she informed him tightly. "Vasilisa Dragomir is your assignment."

"And Christian Ozera is yours. End of discussion." She ordered Rose with an indisputable edge to her voice that most would have immediately accepted – but Rose wasn't most and wasn't ready to give up.

"This is stupid," she argued back as the colour in her face heightened and the heat from her anger warmed the air around us. "Why should I waste my time with Christian? Lissa's the one I'm going to be with when I graduate. Seems like if you want me to be able to do a good job, you should have me practice with her."

"You will do a good job with her," I chipped in, knowing that unless she was made to see reason, she would never give up. "Because you know her. And you have your bond. But somewhere, some day, you could end up with a different Moroi. You need to learn how to guard someone with whom you have absolutely no experience."

Finally turning her eyes to my own, I tried to read what I saw in the swirling, dark-brown, liquid depths, but the lingering irritation and disappointment overshadowed everything else.

"I have experience with Christian," Rose responded sarcastically as her arms folded over her chest in a quarrelsome display of defiance as her heavily-lashed lids folded rapidly over her eyes as she blinked. "That's the problem. I hate him."

Nodding to herself in satisfaction, Alberta pointed the tip of the clipboard at Rose as she rested her other hand against her hip. "So much the better. Not everyone you protect will be your friend. Not everyone you protect will be someone you like. You need to learn this."

Curling the corner of her mouth up into an exaggeration expression of scorn, Rose snorted at Alberta's logic as a diabolical light shimmered dangerously in her eyes. "I need to learn how to fight Strigoi. I've learned how to do that in class. And I've done it in person."

Eddie – standing slightly behind Rose – flinched at the unwelcome reminder of the Spokane slaughter, but Rose was far too intent in proving Alberta wrong to worry about him. Alberta in turn, was just as intent on proving herself right.

"There's more to this job than the technicalities, Miss Hathaway. There's a whole personal aspect – a bedside manner, if you will – that we don't teach on much in class. We teach you how to deal with the Strigoi. You need to learn how to deal with the Moroi yourself. And you in particular need to deal with someone who has not been your best friend for years."

"You also need to learn what it's like to work with someone when you can't instantly sense that they're in danger." I slotted in, knowing exactly which direction Alberta was headed in. There was only really one way to manipulate Rose…and it everything to do with Lissa.

"Right. That's a handicap," Alberta approved, looking briefly over at me as she realised that I knew what she was up to and nodding in satisfaction that we had reached the same conclusion. "If you want to be a good guardian – if you want to be an excellent guardian – then you need to do as we say."

Going in for the kill as I watched Alberta's logic begin to penetrate Rose's irrational mind whilst all the while knowing she would continue to fight this tooth and nail, the words I delivered next were guaranteed to wipe out what was left of her resistance and rebellion.

"Working with another Moroi will also help keep Lissa alive."

Eyeing me with withering suspicious – as she knew exactly what I was up to and resenting me deeply for the ability to know where her one weakness lay – Rose exhaled roughly. Folding her arms over her chest, she glared at me but with far less antagonism than before.

"What do you mean?"

Taking a step forward and ignoring the look of curiosity on Alberta's face, I closed the distance between us, only stopping as I felt the irrepressible lure of her begin to curl outward to wrap me up in an essence that was unmistakably hers.

"Lissa's got a handicap too – you. If she never has a chance to learn what it's like to be guarded by someone without a psychic connection, she could be at greater risk if attacked. Guarding someone is really a two-person relationship. This assignment for your field experience is as much for her as for you."

Unable to mistake the sincerity of my words or the hidden undertone of fear for both her and Lissa, Rose remained quiet and thoughtful as our gazes caught and held for only the smallest portion of a moment, but the silent communication between us was enough to convince her.

"And," Alberta interrupted, breaking the moment as she succinctly laid down the ultimatum she had been holding in reserve….one she hadn't wanted to use, but one that would have no choice but to use "It's the only assignment you're going to get. If you don't take it, then you opt out of the field experience."

Eyes widening as the threat from Alberta penetrated the haze of understanding that surrounded us, Rose looked ready to launch into another fit, but I held her gaze steadily with my own; willing her to keep her head and not to make this any worse than it already was.

Alberta's leniency and patience wasn't infinite.

Sighing dramatically, Rose held my stare for a second longer before I stepped back and she bent to pick up the binder; though she still held it as it represented a personal affront to everything she believed and stood for. "Fine," she eventually agreed with frosty scorn. "I'll do this. But I want it noted that I'm doing this against my will."

Nodding once in agreement, the wry tone of Alberta's reply couldn't be missed as she looked at Rose with reluctant amusement.

"I think we already figured that out, Miss Hathaway."

"Whatever. I still think it's a horrible idea, and you eventually will too."

Pivoting agilely on her heel, Rose stomped off without another word, intent it seemed, to have the final say in a situation she had very little control over. Watching her leave, Eddie's troubled gaze swung back to ours.

"Guardian Petrov…I really don't mind…" He began hesitantly, but Alberta wasn't about to be swayed.

"Thank you for the gesture, Mr. Castile, but I meant what I said. Your assignment is the Princess. Rose has no choice but to accept that – no matter how she feels. Now, shouldn't you be on your way to pack a bag and meet up with her?"

Nodding with reluctant acceptance as he realized that arguing with Alberta was pointless; Eddie spun around and headed for the exit with shoulders still tensely locked in the tension of the moment.

"Eddie," I called out to him before he disappeared from sight. Turning at the doorway, the clear dismay controlling his young features altered slightly in surprise. "Don't let this get to you. Rose won't blame you for any of it and you need to keep your wits about you."

Squaring those same shoulders as he took in my words and mentally began to shoulder the weight, importance and responsibility of them; Eddie breathed deeply before nodding. "Yes, Guardian Belikov. I understand – thank you."

Out of the door a second later, Alberta's softly rueful comment punctuated the quiet of the gym.

"You were right…I spoke too soon."

Sighing heavily, my eyes closed as my head tipped back. Rolling my neck from shoulder to shoulder, I winced slightly at the knotted muscles protested against the movement. Looking down at Alberta, I had expected to find criticism…or at the very least, an I-told-you-so look, but what I found was neither.

Sympathy had momentarily softened Alberta's hardened features as she looked back at me with that steading gaze of hers that was always so supremely calm and confident. She knew that Rose's reaction had rattled me and wasn't about to add to it.

"No…I was wrong and you were right, Alberta. You told me that she would react badly to this and I wouldn't listen to your warning. I'm sorry. I knew that she wasn't going to be happy about this, but I honestly didn't expect her to be so…so…hostile about it. I think she was just surprised by it. She also looked tired and was…"

Shifting the clipboard to under her arm, Alberta shook her head as she brushed aside my apology…and my excuses.

"Don't apologize for her, Dimitri…or try to justify her behaviour. We both know her well enough and should have expected this. What concerns me more is what she'll do next, not how she's reacted to this so far."

"What do you mean?"

"Will she protect Christian? We both know that despite agreeing to this, she's going to find some way to get back at us – she's vindictive…if that means she's going to sit back and do nothing as Christian is attacked, you'll know what will happen. What I will be forced to do."

Wanting to brush aside her concerns as easily as she had my apology, the genuine concern from Alberta couldn't be ignored. If Rose refused to protect Christian, for whatever reason, she would be removed from the field experience and would not graduate. That wasn't something that I could ever allow to happen.

"She's going to be angry for a while…okay, she's going to be angry for a long time." I amended as I saw the sardonic look on Alberta's face. "But she also knows how important this is…how much of her future rides on how she's marked on this. I have faith in her, Alberta – she won't fail either of us."

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Alberta nodded tiredly; turning towards the doors of the gym as I fell into place at her side.

"For all of our sakes, I hope you're right, Dimitri. Rose has more potential in her than I've seen in any novice who's walked through these doors. If we can get that temper of hers under control, she could be one of the greatest…she might even be better than her mother one day. I don't want to see that talent wasted because of some petty retribution."

"None of us do, Alberta."

"You're very sure of her, aren't you?"

Pushing against the door, I held it open as Alberta preceded me. Leaving the warmth of the gym behind us, the frigid feel of the night air swept quickly beneath the protective layers of our clothing. At just after midnight, it looked like noon. The grounds surrounding us were flooded with illumination from the various flood-lights stationed every few feet.

"Yes, I am."

Saying no more as I looked down at Alberta, she nodded once before smiling very slightly and carried on walking. Passing other guardians and students, we crossed over the stone-lined corridor and headed towards the commons in silence.

It wasn't exactly an uncomfortable silence; I knew that Alberta had others things to discuss, but for once, she was uncharacteristically quiet…and for that, I was glad. With my own mind still in a noise of turmoil, I needed the silence to wade through it all.

If I was honest with myself, I was still unnerved by Rose's erratically violent display of temper. If I could understand it, I might have felt easier about it, but I couldn't. Anger was one thing…that had been another.

Reasonably sure that if I asked her about it I would get some sort of platitude and not the truth, I decided that I would watch her as closely as I could for the next few days. If that didn't yield any answers, then I would go to the next best thing…Lissa.

I didn't want to worry her, but if there was anyone who might know the deeper secrets her best friend kept to herself, it would be her.

"I wonder how she found out about Dashkov's trial?"

Murmuring to herself more than to me, Alberta's question was almost lost in the icy wind that had us clutching our coats tighter around ourselves as we hurried to get out of it. Glancing at her, I pushed aside my worries for Rose for the moment and concentrated on her.

"What did you say, Alberta?"

"Oh, it's nothing really. I was just wondering how Rose knew about Victor Dashkov's trial…and how she knew that none of the students were going."

Looking straight ahead, I nodded thoughtfully at the question, but offered no answer. I couldn't exactly tell her that Rose had overheard a conversation that she thought was private and I wouldn't lie to her any more than I already had – omission or not.

"So…who won the bet?"

Knowing instantly what she was talking about as we rounded the last of the corners leading to the stone quad, I grimaced before replying. "Dustin and Celeste…I'm going to strangle Emil before the week is out if he carries on with this crap."

"I don't blame you," Alberta chuckled quietly in commiseration; smiling broadly at me as my features hardened slightly in annoyance. I liked Emil, but I didn't think that many people would miss him. "You have the West twins for your first watch, don't you?"

"Yes." Checking the time, there was about five minutes of lunch left. As soon as the bell rang, the novices would be on official duty for the next six weeks. The Wests'; Marcus and Samantha would be in adjoining classrooms for their first official guarding duty and would be under my observation as part of their first evaluation.

When not attacking the novices, we were required to observe them in their environment and with their Moroi. The marks gathered for their attentiveness, awareness and vigilance made up a small percentage of their final mark for the field experience, but it all added up at the end of the day and could be the deciding factor in whether a novice passed or not.

"Should be interesting," Alberta remarked casually, but stopped as she saw something at the end of the quad that drew her attention.

Rose stood at the entrance of the commons…with Adrian Ivashkov.

Stiffening in a reaction that I knew I had no right to feel and almost completely forgetting that Alberta still stood with me, the primal, possessive jealousy that seared viciously through my veins and burnt straight through to my brain, destroyed common sense, reason and control.

What I might have felt towards Jesse Zeklos was nothing in comparison to what I felt towards Adrian Ivashkov…the killing fury I harboured around him was primitive and shameful, but I could no more deny it than I could my love for Rose.

"I wonder if Adrian believes his own lies."

Concealing the signs of bone-shaking rage I could never completely control around him when he was anywhere near Rose, Alberta's interruption into my dangerous thoughts was a timely distraction as I dragged my gaze away from the pair.

"What are you talking about, Alberta?"

"The supposed reason that he's here…the supposed desire to study and learn more about Spirit with Lissa. Anyone looking at him, when he's looking at Rose, is going to know that it's just an excuse…he's here for a different reason."

Having stumbled unfortunately across him over Christmas in Idaho, the Royal Moroi had latched onto the opportunity of returning with us under the pretence of learning more about the rare ability he shared with Lissa, but no one here truly believed that it was the only reason – and the only reason he hadn't been asked to leave, was because he was an Ivashkov.

As the only child of Nathan and Daniella Ivashkov and the great-nephew of our reigning Monarch, Tatiana Ivashkov, he was treated with kid-gloves and given carte blanche around the campus…something that he exploited shamelessly as he wound the hierarchy of the Academy around his moneyed little finger.

"Rose knows better than to get involved with him, Alberta," I reasoned calmly, amazed almost that I could speak normally as I watched him flirt with her shamelessly. It was only the knowledge that Rose found him as annoying as I did, that kept me from doing something that was punishable by death.

"Yes…now," she agreed amusedly as she turned and started to walk back to the administration buildings. "She's changed a lot since you returned her and Lissa to the Academy. But before that, Adrian Ivashkov would have been exactly the kind of trouble Rose Hathaway went looking for. I'll see you later, Dimitri."

Nodding absently towards her, I lingered for a few seconds longer before making myself leave; turning towards the upper campus in search of my targets as I forced myself to focus on what needed to be done.