hi everyone! well we've finally made it to callisto! i wonder what could be happening there? this chapter actually took me a few days to write, normally i do it all in one go, but this one was kind of tricky to be honest. anyway enjoy this chapter and thank you for reading! c:

chapter eight: the splinterers plan

i looked around the wasteleand that was once my home world. it was like a desert now and all the glass and crystal had been broken and shattered on the ground and the sky was black but bright like daylight. there were also splintetrers everythwere surverying the grounds. they looked like spiders with pointy legs and big drooly mouths with needles inside to suck out the crystal energy, and had hundreds of eyes all over their bodies, including in their private parts.

"HEY ARE YOU A CALLISTOAN" one hissed at me.

"uh no i am not i am a human actually" i lied.

"OH OKAY YOU SURE ARE LUCKY, IF YOU WERE A CALLISTOAN I WOULD HAVE TO SUCK OUT YOUR CRYTSAL JUICES AND IT WOULD BE UBER DISGUSTING"

" dew yew nut luyke being a spleentereer?" asked the doctor cocking his head and slanting his eyesbrows.

"NO NO OF COURSE NOT IT SUCKS FILTHY ALIEN ASS I WANTED TO BE A POETRY TEACHER" he said sadly and a tear sprung from his eye.

"weall wea ah actrually truyeng tew defeat the spleentereers, you could join us?" asked the doctor.

"REALLY?! ?!

"yees"

"OH BOY" said the splinterer and shook our hands. "MY NAME IS BOTPYRUT"

"HELLO BOTPYRUT" we all said.

"sew ah haeouw dew we get to youh leadah?" asked the doctor.

"WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE CITY. FOLLOW ME"

we followed botpyrut through the old city that had been ramsacked. tons of other splinterers were picking over the remains like hawks over the corpse of a ferret (sorry if you have a ferret, they are adorable and im sure yours is too! ^o^) we stayed close to botpyrut to disguise ourselves as splinterers.

suddenly i felt a sharp pain in my belly! well it wasnt actually my belly. IT WAS MY UTRUS AND GROIN AREA!

"urghh doctor" i said and doubled over.

"oeh noeh heanah! are yew okaey?" he asked.

splintereers started noticing us. "ow the baby is kicking hard" i said.

"oeh noeh yew're watah muyt break!" scared the doctor.

"QUIGLY IN HERE" said botpyrut and brought us into an abandoned general store. amy and rory stole candy from the register section.

"heanah relax, everythung well bea okaey" the doctor said bringing me to the ground.

"im scared doctor" i said crying.

"sew am uy"

the doctor ripped my clothes off and looked into my vagina hole of despair. he could see the head.

"UY CAN SEA THA HEDD" he shrieked.

"OOOOOWWWWWWWW!" i screamed because birth is painful.

suddenly the doctor sighed in relief. "the hedd is gouwne, eet was jast a false burth, thea happen everey sew offen" he said.

"oh few thank goodness" i said and stood up.

"UGH DISGUSTING HUMAN YOUR VACUOLE OF LOVE SICKENS ME" said botpyrut and he vomited into a nearby trash can. which just happened to be what rory was using to carry his candies!

"noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" cryed rory.

"weall naoeuw that thats ovah wea can keap goeauwing" said the doctor and we all went back outside.

all the splinterers were gathered in the street! i was worried they had heard my bloodcurdling screams and or saw my "VACUOLE OF LOVE" but they were actually lined up for a parade!

"STAY CLOSE" said botpyrut and we obeyed. the leader of the splinterers was coming down the street on a throne that was carried by other splinterers!

"how goes the search?" asked the king.

"we still have not found her ma lady" said one of the splinterers.

"okay keep searching. we have to find her and then only then will the callistoans be exctinct!" said the kind and had the splinterers carry him away again.

"who was he talking about?" asked amy.

"HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE LAST SURVIVING CALLISTOAN FEMALE" said botpyrut "WE HAVE TO KILL HER BEFORE SHE REPRODUCES AND THEN THERE WILL BE MORE CALLISTOANS WE HAVE TO KILL"

"i wonder who that could be" i said.

"WEALL WHATEVAH EET EES WEA CANT FUYND OWT GNAOUEW. LETS FUYND SHELTAH."

(oh no im so sorry about the last part! i asked my brother for an alien name and he said botpyrut but it took until i said it out loud to realize IT MEANS SOMETHING REALLY OFFENSIVE! D: i dont want to rewrite that part though, so just use the new name im giving him for when you read that part ok? ^^)

fufle started a fire in a dark alley so we wouldnt get cold. (thats botpyrut! ^^) he warmed his claws near it.

"OKAY DUDES EETS NICE AN WARM FOR YA" he said and everyone knew he was making a double ontondra but no one got excited from it. i cant speak for rory though

we gathered Around the campfire and the doctors weenie got warm and excited. he ripped his clothes off then ripped off mine and made steamy love to me by the fire.

"UNGH DOCTOR" i shrieked clawing into his back from the size of his wanker.

amy politely covered her eyes because she didnt want to watch her parents making love and instead roasted a marshmallow. the doctor screamed in my ear which kind of hurt but the shockwaves of love radiating throughout my body from his english dinner sausage made up for it. when we were done we sat back up. rory was gone!

"OMG RORY IS GONE" amy said uncovering her eyes.

"where could he be?" i asked.

"OH NO DUDES IF THE SPLINTERERS CATCH HIM WERE SO DEAD" said fufle.

we searched around the alley until we found a dumpster that was rocking back and forth as if haunted. we opened the lid... INSIDE WAS RORY AND FUFLE! THEY WERE MAKING LOVE AND SCREAMING FROM THE PLEASURE! AMY COVERED HER EYES AND BEGAN SCREAMING IN SURPRISE!

"RORY HOW COULD YOU?!" she asked.

"uh amy its not what you think" said rory before screaming again from orcasm.

"YES IT TOTALLY IS DUDETTE!" screamed fufle as tears sprayed from eyes from orcasm.

"i cant believe this" said amy and she started crying and ran away.

"amy no you could get killed!" i screamed. but she was too far away.

"COME ON LETS GO FIND HER" said fufle and we all ran into the street.

suddenly bright lgihts flashed before my eyes. i screamed because i didnt know what else to do. then i saw it... there was a truck driving up to us! it hit fufle!

"GNOEUW FOUFLEA!" cryd the doctor and held the alien that made love to his son in his arms.

"TELL... RORY... I... LOVE... HIM... MAN" spoke fufle until his voice faded to a whisper and he died in the doctors arms. where my love organ had been just moments before. it was so undignified.

"GGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" the doctor screamed as fufles sharp and spiky weany came off.

BUT IT BOUNCED OFF THE DOCTORS ROCK HARD PONGIS AND WAS LAUNCHED STRAIGHT INTO MY LOVE SHACK! I DOUBLED OVER AS THE SHARPNESS SPIKENESS OF FUFLES PECKOR POPPED MY BIRTH BAG!

"OOOOOOOWWWWWWW!" i screamed. "DOCTOR IM GOING INTO LABOR!"

"ouh gnoueaw heanah!" the doctor cried.

END OF CHAPTER 7~