In Need of Glue
A South Park Fan Fiction

By Michelle Berger


Chapter VII

Pip squirmed nervously in his seat, hardly able to speak from the shock. He was being investigated by the police. He had done absolutely nothing, and now he had to be investigated. It wasn't even Officer Barbrady, this guy was actually good. Pip was more than terrified. The seat he sat in was terribly uncomfortable as his interrogator sat facing him, a second detective on the other side of the table as well.

The conversation with the interrogator had started peacefully – simple talk and casual conversing, up until the conversation turned to the crime: Arson.

"So Pip, lad, you are aware that the school fire started in your English classroom?"

"Yes, sir."

"And your teacher, Mr. Kyes, he found the fire started at your desk."

"That is what I was told, sir. But I was in my Science class when the fire alarm rang."

"Well, that may be true, but the bell rang at the very start of your Science class, which was right after English. Mr. Kyes only discovered the fire by the time you were long gone."

The interrogator got close to Pip – too close for Pip's comfort.

"So, you had a friend with you at the time?"

"Yes, sir. Damien."

"Ah, Damien, right. Mr. Kyes didn't like Damien very much, did he?"

"Well, no one really does, sir. Damien's a tad scary looking, what with his gothic style and all."

"Mr. Kyes didn't want him in his class, did he?"

"No, sir."

"But you and Damien persisted, hmm?"

"Yes, sir."

"And, you and Mr. Kyes have never gotten along very well, have you?"

"I suppose not, but that's only because he thinks I'm not British!"

"So you have the perfect chance to get your revenge today, I bet."

"Of course not! I would never, ever do-

"Hush, boy. It will be your turn to talk in a moment. So, you used a lighter and set your books on fire in your desk."

"Certainly no-

"Wait your turn, Mr. Pirrup!"

"But I don't even own a lighter!"

"Oh? Why is it that we found a lighter only feet away from the scene of the crime?"

"It must be someone else's; I can't even afford three meals a day, why would I waste my food money on a lighter?"

"It was a cheap lighter, not even worth enough to trade it for a food stamp. You could afford it, and you know it."

"I don't know it! Why would I want a lighter?"

"To smoke."

"I hate smoking! It is a filthy, filthy habit!"

"Then, why did Mr. Kyes see you drop a box of cigarettes on the floor during class today?"

"What?" Pip paused to think, looking down at his hands. Seeing the now well healed burns from the house fire, he thought of Damien and soon remembered his smoking habit.

"Oh! Those were Damien's fags, but I didn't drop them, they fell out of his trench coat."

"Excuse me?"

"…What?"

"Fags?"

"Oh, dear me, cigarettes. It's a British term, I'm terribly sorry."

Pip was relieved when the interrogation for the day was finally over. His bottom was sore from the chair, and though there wasn't much better to be seated on at home, the floor was more welcoming than the chair. Pip sighed as he realised he would be sitting on the same chair the next day as questioning continues.

As he exited the building, he turned to head home. He hadn't fully passed the building when Mr. Scott, his science teacher, walked towards him, seemingly having been in the alleyway. Pip chose not to question the odd behaviour.

"Pip! How was it?"

"The interrogation? It wasn't fun, that's certain. But I didn't do it!"

"I believe you, Pip." Mr. Scott smiled, putting a hand on Pip's shoulder.

"You do, sir, really?

"Of course Pip. You're my best student. I know you'd never do such a thing. I want to help you as much as possible."

"Oh, thank you sir, but I don't think there's much you can do."

"Don't be so sure, Pip. It just so happens that my friend is that nice young man interrogating you. I could put in a good word that will certainly keep you from any jail time."

"You… You could do that? Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh! That would help ever so much! Mr. Kyes is truly trying to get me out of his class, I've been so scared!"

"Well Pip, you do something for me, I do something for you."

"Wha… What do you mean?"

"Well, I'll get you out of this mess. I just need you to help me out…"

"With what?"

"Well…" Mr. Scott took a large step forward, suddenly right up against Pip. Pip tensed at the closeness.

"Yes, sir?" Pip backed away, only to be again approached.

"I've always found you," Mr. Scott leaned forward, breathing on Pip's neck gently, "Adorable… In a very… Immoral way."

"Oh, sir, I… I don't want to have sex with you sir… I'm sorry sir…" Pip bit his lip. There was only one man he wanted to be physically with, and he was damn sure Mr. Scott wasn't him.

"Pip, oh Pip, Pip Pip… I don't want that kind of sex…"

"Terribly sorry sir! I didn't understand, I suppose…"

"I just want to see what that quiet little mouth of yours can do…"

"I… Oh… OH! Well… Sir… You're… You're my teacher!"

"I'm also the only chance you've got to get out of jail time. Kyes planted that cheap ass lighter he confiscated from the McCormick boy to make sure the story was flawless."

"I… I don't have any other choice."


Mr. Scott walked Pip home, despite how much Pip insisted he would be fine on his own. As soon as the apartment building was in view, Pip took off and rushed to number three, knocking for Damien.

Damien opened the door, in nothing but his red satin boxers, holding one of his bags of Cheesy Poofs. Damien backed up and let Pip walk in.

"So, how'd it go?"

"I think they're going to let me go." Pip forced a smile. All he could think about was how soiled and used he was.

"Ah, so you told 'em it was me, right?"

"Well, no."

"NO?" The room went cold.

"I didn't want you to get in trouble…"

"I WOULDN'T get in trouble, Pip, don't you get it? I'll just corrupt their souls and they would have let me off free!"

"It's going to be fine. Mr. Scott said he was gonna put a good word in for me."

"Who?"

"The science teacher."

"Oh, your lover."

Pip cringed.

"No!"

"Geez, sorry. I was just making a funny."

"That wasn't funny!"

"Okay, okay, don't cry!"

"I'm not crying!"

"Sure you're not."

Pip playfully punched the son of Satan as the room got warmer, knowing he wasn't too angry. Damien was about to punch back, but realising his strength was too strong for the feeble little blond, he simply poked him.

"C'mon, you want some Cheesy Poofs or something?"

"No, I think I'll go use the bathroom."

"You're not gonna cut, are you?"

"…No." Pip looked away.

"That's it, I'm coming with you."

"To the bathroom? No!"

"We're both guys, get over it. I have to make sure you don't kill yourself."

"I'm not a child! I don't need to have someone hold my hand whilst I use the bathroom!"

Damien stormed off to the bathroom and grabbed the knife out from under the carpet.

"Okay, you're free to use the bathroom. Be a good boy. Wash your hands when you're done!" Damien smirked teasingly as he left, knife in hand.

Pip quickly got into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. The first thing he did was rinse his mouth out repeatedly with water. The water tasted foul, but he needed it. Had he and Damien been able to afford soap, he would have done so.

Pip's next task was to find a knife of any sort. Anything sharp would do. It had felt so right the first time, he needed more. The room was pretty empty as far as object wise. The only alternative was to break the mirror and use glass shards, but he would certainly be in deep trouble with Damien if he even tried.

Looking into the mirror, Pip didn't see himself. Pip was so used to the usual happy, yet beaten and bruised young Blond gentleman of great expectations – who looked much more like a young woman with a flat chest – but, that man was gone. Pip only saw a filthy, smelly, dirty whore.

"You remember that, French crap! It's the only time anyone will do something like that to you! Hope you enjoyed it, fag." Cartman had yelled at him as he pushed him to the ground, his pants and undergarments still around his ankles. Stan and Kyle had left in disgust earlier and Kenny simply stared, wide-eyed and aroused.

"Oooh, who'd have thought you were that good Pip… Didn't know you had it in you… You'll make a great prostitute one day Pip…" Pip's own teacher had told him.

It was the only things Pip could hear. He glared at his reflection and was tempted to smash the mirror simply in disgust, but for the sake of Damien, who would have to replace it, he kept calm and tried to focus on other tasks.

He needed a shave.

"Damien!"

"What?"

"I need a razor."

"Fuck no, emo."

"But my face is fuzzy!"

"So you're gonna try and cut it off?"

"No! I need a shave!"

Damien tried to open the door.

"Let me in!"

Pip sighed and opened the door for Damien, who entered with the knife from under the bathroom rug.

"I think this is sharp enough…" Damien took Pip's hand, running the blade over the palm of the shocked Brit's hand. As blood quickly appeared, Damien licked it off. Pip could only stare.

"Tasty. Anyways, yes, this will do just fine. Hold still."

Pip jumped back as Damien raised the knife to his face.

"I said stay still!"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to shave you!"

"With a knife?"

"We don't have anything else, do we? I'm sure you can handle a few cuts if I slip. You seemed to enjoy the one on your palm."

"I didn't-

"You're not fooling anyone." Damien said as he advanced on Pip, forcing him into a corner to the point of which he couldn't move away anymore.

Pip shut his eyes tightly as Damien went to work, and only opening them when he felt the heat of Damien's body leave him. Opening his eyes shyly, he brought his hand to his chin and felt the smooth skin slowly, absolutely no blood or cuts. Damien was smiling proudly at his work.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror, and again he saw the sickening, repulsive slut staring back at him, with mangy blond locks and bags under his sad, terrified eyes… But, at least the hoe-bag in the mirror had had a shave.


To be Continued

Next Update: September 2nd

School starts tomorrow. Please excuse me if I miss an update deadline!