-1Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade. Or any characters in the show.

A/n: I'm cutting Kenny out of this part of the story, because he really doesn't have any connection to the group at this point. Sorry! But here is Hilary. It will finish with Michelle, in the next chapter.

Fading Into The Summer

Chapter 7: Hilary

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7/30

7.30pm

It feels good to be back home. The last time I wrote in this was ages ago. That'd be because I left my journal at home and then, when I got home, I couldn't find it. Stupid, dumb me - I know. I missed the salty air. The smog. The constant traffic built up on the freeway. Not that I drive or anything. And it took me ages to find it in my trashed room that smells kind of ripe. Some of me wishes that I didn't return home. I guess it's about the whole Michelle and Kai are going out and now I'm the single ex-girlfriend/best friend. I don't want to act like a loner around them, but everyone is almost paired off. Wednesday and Max. Mariah and Tala. Michelle and Kai. That leaves Tyson and me. And I think Tyson's rushing around town chasing some girl, because whenever I ring him, it's "I'm out." then click. I guess I can't wait for the holidays to end. Then school could distract me. Last year, I wanted school to hurry up and end. I counted how many days were left everyday and now I count home many till we go back.

I guess I just want school to go back. I feel disconnected from those I call my best friends. It hurts to see Kai and Michelle, my ex and my best friend, happily together. I know that they don't want to parade it in front of me, but I just play the brave face and pretend that everything is alright. My father left me a message while I was away in Europe. I deleted it once I heard the sound of his voice. I guess sometimes pretending is far better than the real thing.

7/31

9.08pm

Summer is really hot this year. I can't go anywhere without feeling hot and sticky. Michelle rung me this morning inviting me over. I accepted of course. I can't hate Michelle just because she's dating Kai. I went over to her grandparent's house, half expecting Kai to be there, but no. It was just Michelle and her annoying grandparents. Man, if I thought that Wednesday's grandparents were bad, then Michelle's make them sound like Mr. and Mrs. Claus. This was the first time I had been around their place. All I had known about them was that they disapproved where Michelle's family lived, that they brought Michelle's car, they lived in Bridge Waters Estate and that they were extremely wealthy. I had tea with them in the sunroom. Where they asked me a million questions. What subjects I took. What I wanted to be. Where I lived. How long had I known Michelle. Boring. We finally escaped up to Michelle's room. It's like the size of my first floor here at home. As Michelle sat on the bed, I couldn't help but stare at her. For the first time, I saw how vulnerable she actually was. How short, how small. She looked so fragile. If I had pushed her off the bed, she would've broken into a million pieces. This isn't the Michelle I met over a year ago. That Michelle was so loud, out there and confident. You felt like you had to compete for the spotlight, but she'd just let you join her, even if she didn't even know you. Like me. She had no cracks. Everyone thought she was so prefect. Happy. The life everyone seemed to want, including me. The Michelle in front of me, was completely different, unhappy. I am losing her.

8/1

2:54pm

Today I stared at my 'wall of photos'. The wall that I covered with photos of me and all my friends, no matter how embarrassing. I stared at them for ages. The faces of Kai, Wednesday, Tala, Mariah, Max and Michelle. There were countless drunk photos of us. The good times. The smiles. Max seemed to get skinner in every photo of him and Wednesday. I thought of him now. He looks so much healthier. His happy face in the photo of him and Wednesday. The photo of me and Michelle. Where she looked happy. Was she even happy? Or was she pretending? Had she pretended to be happy since the beginning? Did all of us just wear some kind of mask and pretend that nothing was wrong and only thought about the good stuff? Are we just a bunch of pretenders?

4pm

I had to stop writing. I got too emotional to keep going and I started crying. I was lucky that mom isn't home. Or she'd think that I am some kind of baby. My biggest fear is losing my friends and it feels like I am. It has been since Max fainted during that gym class. That made me realise that I depend way too much on my friends. Remember last year when I ran away just because I couldn't deal with everything. Well. That's how I feel right now.

8/2

5:07pm

I had the weirdest visit from Tyson today. He unexpectedly turns up, right after I had woken up and after I answer the door the first thing he says is, "I like a boy." Standing there, at my front door, half a sleep in my Hello Kitty pj's, the boy I once slept with, announced to me that he likes a boy. I invited him in and he told me all about this boy. He's name is Brooklyn and he has orange hair. I asked Tyson why he mentioned the orange hair. Tyson says it's his most sexiest feature. Okay… that kind of freaked me out. I never pictured Tyson liking boys. He doesn't even look even remotely gay. Maybe it was the whole I-played-football-and-liked-touching-other-guy's-asses-and-tackling-them-thing. I wonder. Had Tyson always liked boys? Or is this a new thing? Tyson left, begging for me not to tell anyone about Brooklyn or him liking him. He was on his way to meeting him. That made me feel lonely. I'm the only single person left in our group. Great.

8/3

11:28pm

Mariah came over today to plan Michelle's birthday party. It reminded me of the ever distance space between Michelle and I. Mariah looked so much different from the last time I saw her. Her bright pink hair had gone darker and so much shorter, just above her shoulders. I asked her about Michelle. She said she had hardly spoke to Michelle this year expect a couple of times when Michelle was in hospital. She said she had a sneaking suspicion that Michelle and Kai were going out ages ago, but could never get them to admit it. That didn't make me feel any better. What if they had been doing this behind my back when Kai and I were still going out? Mariah looked as sad as I did. I guess she had the same thought as me. What the fuck is going on?

8/4

7:43pm

Couldn't seem to get out of bed today. It's 7:43pm and I'm still in bed. I guess I'm really down today. Plus it doesn't make it any better by raining. I don't know how I am going to last the school year if I'm like this.

8/5

12:01pm

I think I'm being way to paranoid about Kai and Michelle actually seeing each other behind my back. What actual evidence do I have of them being together? Did they ever act like it around me? No, but what doesn't say that they aren't good actors? I tried remembering any little bit of anything that suggested anything but I couldn't remember or maybe I was in denial. I have to stop thinking this way. It's doing my head in. I can't act like I don't trust Michelle cause she'd know straight away that I think something was up. But they started to go out so quickly after Kai and I broke up. That is seriously fishy to me. Way too fishy. Or maybe my mind is making it seem fishy. God, I don't know what to think anymore.

8/6

7pm

Thought about talking to Michelle today. That never happened, because I chickened out. I'm seriously chickening out only so my friendship with Michelle doesn't end. What would I do with out her. I would have never become the person I am now. Certainly. I'd more like be like Kenny. Still a house-bound class president annoying bitch who doesn't have any friends. Now, that sounds like a plan. Not. I just want this to all blow over. Like I have no problem what so ever with this. But knowing me, I will keep it going until everyone is angry at everyone and then it will be like world war three. God, this is pathetic! I'm going out.

8/7

4:03pm

I think my friendship with Michelle is over.

Seriously. I'm not being a drama queen.

It ended in a screaming match, me stomping my way out of Michelle's grandparent's house, slamming their priceless front door and walking two miles home.

It's over.

I don't care.

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A/n: Only one to go! It's Michelle! Plus we'll learn of the fight! Promise!

Emily-Jade