Title:Razor Candies
Rating:M
Author:Freeing Alys
Summary:It's funny how much a person can change in two years. Liley. Rated for self-hatred, self-mutliation, eating disorders, and lots of other stuff I may not be sure of.
Disclaimer:I DO NOT own Hannah Montana or anything/one affliated with it. That all belongs to Disney.
Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! I hope this chappy is a little less angsty-like. :)

7. Giddy

Lily is waiting for me at lunch. She is sitting at the same table that we always sit at together, except this time there is no Oliver. It's just her and her lunch tray. I take a deep breath, then I think back to the five steps that Mrs. Avery gave me and then I walk over to Lily, trying to remain calm. "Hey." I fall into the seat next to Lily and smile at her.

"Hi Lily." I say and then I glance down at my lunch, and I realize I don't want to eat it. I'm not all that hungry.

Lily is smiling at me and I can feel her eyes burn into my skin, and I love the feeling. "What's up?" She asks into my ear and her breath tickles my neck.

A chill runs up and down my spin and I glance at her. "Mrs. Avery is really nice." I tell Lily and she smiles again. I smell her vanilla sugar lotion again and I want to close my eyes, but I don't.

"That's good. I hope she can help you." Lily tells me and I nod my head. I want to tell Lily everything. I want to tell her I have panic attacks and about all though hours in the bathroom and my closet. I want to tell her, but then I start to shake at the thought of it. For some reason I can bare it all to her in the same way I did when we were fourteen.

"Me too." I say instead and Lily touches my hand and my head explodes with happiness. I smile at Lily and nod my head, as if to say I know what she's feeling, and I feel it to.

"Do you…want to talk about it?" Lily whispers and I know she's scared, I would be to. I am scared.

I shrug, wanting her to pull it out of me, since I know I won't just offer it to her. "I don't know."

Lily leans closer to me, and her body heats starts to warm my own. "You can talk to me Miley." She says and I really want to believe her. But it's too hard, it's too hard to tell her everything.

"I know. But it's really hard. One step at a time, okay?" I ask Lily hoping that it will be okay with her.

Lily nods her head and scoots back over to her spot at the table. "That's fine. As long as you talk to Mrs. Avery." Lily says and I nod my head. I will.

HMHMHMHMHMHM

Dad is sitting on the couch watching something random on tv when I get home from school. I shut the door, smile at him and he smiles back. "How was school bud?" He asks me and I walk over to him, glade to be home after that long day.

"Great." I answer wrapping my arms around him and I consider telling him I'm seeing Mrs. Avery. I want to tell him about everything. Btu I don't' want to disappoint him. I make a mental note to discus this with Mrs. Avery tomorrow.

"That's good. Are you ready for the concert tomorrow?" He asks and I nod my head, I'm just as ready as I'll ever be.

"Sure." I say and I wonder why the allure of Hannah Montana is starting to wash away. It used to be fun being an alter ego version of myself, not it's just hard. Maybe I just have to merge Hannah and Miley, but I have no idea how to do that. "See you Dad." I leap off the couch and start towards the staircase.

"Dinner will be soon." Dad says and tehn he goes back to watching the tv, like I had never been there at all.

I march up to my bedroom and shut the door softly behind me. Walking to my bed I toss my backpack down on it and dig through it until I find the paper that Mrs. Avery gave to me. I glance it over and let out a sigh. Panic attacks. Even though I had regonized it as it was happening….I didn't actually think that that was what it was. Panic attacks. I never thought that I would be that person. Yet, I am.

I tack the paper next to my bed on my wall, so that I will be able to see it from anywhere in my room. I lean against my headboard and try to think about seeing Mrs. Avery tomorrow. I invision myself walking into her office, plopping down next to her and telling her everything. Beign fearless. And it scares me. I open my eyes again just as my cell phone starts to ring. I pick up the pink phone and hold it to my ear. "Hello?" I say into it and I hear Lily clear her throat.

"Hey Miley." She greets me and I can't help but smile to myself. Hearing her voice is pure happiness and I love being able to hear it.

"Hi." I say timidly, I still can't get over the fact that Lily knows now, and she doesn't even want to talk about it. Well, she doesn't want to force me anyway.

"How are you doing?" She asks and I notice that her voice sounds a little scared.

"I'm fine. Just waiting on dinner." I tell her and I hear Lily nod up and down.

"Cool, want to come over after that?" She asks and I smile to myself in my room.

"Yeah." I say and after she says good-bye I hang up my phone and set it on my night stand.

Feeling a little giddy I bounce off of my bed and walk towards my closet, wanting to find something to wear that will look just perfect for an evening with Lily.

HMHMHMHMHMHMHM

After dinner I have Dad drive me to Lily's. I'm smiling the whole car ride and I know that Dad wants to ask me what's going on, but he doesn't. He pulls into Lily's driveway and I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and then race towards Lily's front door.

I bound towards Lily's room after Lily's mom lets me in and I knock on Lily's door. "Come in!" Lily calls from in her room. I push open her bedroom door and smile as I stare at Lily, who is folded up on her bed, doing homework.

"Hi." I greet Lily, shutting her door behind me.

"Miley! Hey." Lily greets me right back.

I sit next to Lily on her bed and stare down at her books. She is studying English, her favorite subject this year. Junior English is better then the ones before, but I'm still partial to drama.

"Good to see you." I say and then I kiss Lily on the cheek.

Lily smiles at me and nods her head. "Right back at you." She glances back down at her book and I glance down as well. She is going over the last chapter that we went over in class, and I envy her study skills. I haven't been able to study for months.

"Studying?" I ask and Lily nods her head.

"Yeah, boring stuff." Lily says and I laugh at lightly and Lily smiles at me.

"It's good to hear you laugh. It's been a really long time." She says and I nod my head, it sure has.

Lily leans close to me and covers my mouth with her own and I feel safe. Even though I have no idea where we stand, or what we're doing exactly, I feel like I'm in the right place. And nothing would be able to take that away.