Fix You
Chapter 7
When Fiona rolled over in the morning, she hadn't expected to turn into Adam. Most mornings when she woke up, he wasn't in bed.
He was usually on the floor next to the bed, doing push-ups or sit-ups but when she opened her eyes he was sitting up reading a comic book. It wasn't unusual that he skip a morning workout here and there. But it was strange that he was awake and skipping it on purpose.
"What are you doing?" she asked softly, moving back to her pillow.
"Reading," he said simply.
"At six in the morning?"
He shrugged.
"Normally you're busy working up a sweat."
"Don't feel like it." He shrugged again.
"Then come back to bed," she urged, grabbing a handful of his t-shirt.
He pushed her hand away. "I'm not tired."
"Really?" She smiled and sat up. "That's fine. We don't need to sleep." She wrapped her arms around his neck, but he shrugged her off. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he told her. "I'm just not in the mood."
"You're always in the mood in the morning." She put her arms around him again and pulled him to her, but he once again broke out of her hold.
"Dammit, Fiona!" He quickly stood. "What do you want from me?"
She blinked. "I just… I want you to come back to bed."
He sighed, standing where he was, looking at her. "Why?"
"What?"
"Why? Why do you want me?"
"What?" she asked again.
He had gone to sleep upset after their meeting with Dr. Bishop didn't go as planned. She'd expected that he be a little reserved. It was a huge let down for both of them, but she figured he would feel better after a good night's sleep.
"You heard me."
"Adam, I love you. You know that."
"And I never understood why. Especially now."
She sat for a moment, staring up at him as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. But she couldn't. "What are you talking about?"
"You can be with anybody. You can be with some rich, good-looking, athletic guy. But you're with me."
"And you're poor, ugly and puny?" She had to laugh at her own sentence, though Adam didn't seem to find it amusing.
He shrugged. "I am. You can do better."
She shook her head and sat up on her knees on the edge of the bed so that they were face to face. "You're right," she said. Though it was dark, she saw him flinch at her words. "I want a guy who's a jerk, who doesn't hold me when I'm crying or sick. We probably shouldn't have anything in common either. And I don't want him to have any sense of humor. In fact, I don't want him to have any personality at all. Personalities are overrated. All I need is a guy with good looks and money and I'll be good."
"Adam," she said, urging him to look at her when he didn't respond. "What's wrong?" Again, he said nothing. "Talk to me," she pleaded.
"I don't know how long I'm gonna be like this, Fi," he told her, his voice breaking.
She reached up to touch him, relieved that he didn't pull away again when her hands rested on his cheeks. "It's not forever," she said. "Another year, at most."
He sighed. He felt like their relationship now had a time stamp on it. Not an expiration date, but a starting date. A date they could finally be together how they'd always wanted to. He had no idea how far in the future that day might be.
"I hate waiting," he finally said. "I feel like we're always waiting for something."
"I know. Me too, but we can't let it control us."
"How are you so ok with… me?"
She sighed. "I love you, Adam. You're the most amazing person I've ever met. You make me feel so safe and loved."
He slowly sat on the bed. "I love you, Fi," he told her, leaning his forehead against hers. "What did I do to deserve you?" he whispered.
"I guess you're just lucky," she teased.
He nodded. "I am."
To be continued…
