A/N: This is
sickeningly sweet, even by normal standards. We are talking cotton
candy fluff here people. I give up on the outline, it will end when it
ends. Thanks to BETA for
the help and to everyone who keeps on commenting. Enjoy the holidays,
the best you can. Thank goodness they are almost over. :)
-----
It's a beautiful landscape
The sunset makes the coast look so clear
It's the kind that makes you heart break
But no one has those kind of problems here
And from the sagebrush comes a dove
It comes to take away the ones you love
In camouflage comes a dove, and it comes to take away the ones you love
Wake up you faithless, see your heartbreak gone
- The Classic Crime, "Wake Up (Shipwreck)"
-----
There's something about being stuck in a stupid airplane bathroom for the majority of a ten plus hour flight that makes Addison regret the day she gave the asinine speech about wanting to carry a life inside of her. There's something about the way the disinfecting hand soap smells that makes her regret flying all the way to Russia and there is something about the shifts in gravity that make her hate Derek's Superman-like sperm. Cursing the male species she makes her way to her feet and finds her way back to the right row. After being in the window seat on the way to Atlanta and having to get up every ten seconds she and Derek swapped spots.
Tucking her elbow in so as to not be hit by the beverage cart (again) she fingers through her carry on for something to listen to. Though somewhat technologically challenged Derek convinced her a few years back to learn what an Ipod was and as she shifts the earbuds into her ear and the stringy violins fill her brain she feels thankful. Thankful for having something else to focus on besides nausea; thankful for something to block out the screaming child in the background and finally thankful for the distraction from conversation. She feels Derek stir beside her and reach for her hand subconsciously scurrying from his dazed sleep.
"Hey." He whispers noting that the lights have been turned off as a majority of the passengers were sleeping.
"Hi." She returns pulling on the cord of the headphones.
"You feeling better?"
"Want me to lie and say yes?"
"No. Not at all." He pauses for a moment letting his eyes fall to her lap for the hundredth time that day. "Can I help with anything?"
"Bring anything that will knock me out?" She asks, a hopeful grin paving her face.
"Nothing you can take."
"Excellent."
It was worth a shot. She lifts the music back to her ears and dares to
glance at her watch. Being given frequent updates on their time zone
crossings she has something close to 6:35 am Russian time which leads
to another four or so hours. They gave up on talking because the
discussion didn't lend itself to nosey ears and she didn't want to
converse about marital things in a "room" of about two hundred or so
other people. He agreed to disagree and let her be. For his part, the
flight had been a pleasant one. He managed to get in some much needed
sleep and do a fair share of worrying about their unborn child. Letting
the nerves creep back in he reaches for a book to read.
He flips
through the pages of the novel he started at home, for the millionth
time, until he finds the picture of the two boys sitting next to each
other.
It was silly to hide it, he knows she knows that this is what occupies most of his "down" time. Simply staring at the matching pair of bright green eyes and dark unruly hair brings a smile to his face every time. They look the same to him but hopefully with the some help he will be able to tell them apart on his own someday. His eyes search the picture for things he may have missed but he has seen it so many times that he could recall it in a second.
Vitaly and Vadim. From there it was a whole lot of other names that he could never pronounce as well as Addison. Oleksandr, Mikhailovich and Nikolaevich (for their last name and their father's first and patronymic names respectively) to name a few plus their version of nick names Vadik and Vitalik but by the time his brain got to those it usually hurt so he stopped. Someone could show him later.
They look happy and his only wish is to get them home safe and sound and give them his best. Teach them how to throw around a ball or kick if they feel so inclined, how to read and study for the hard tests, how to cook better than their mother so that they won't starve under her care (though he dare not say that aloud) and how to be happy in a world that is hell bent on giving its very worst. At touchdown he grips her hand tightly never admitting that this is the part that scares the shit out of him. Something about potential landing gear not coming down and doing a plane's version of a belly power slide into an airport kind of freaks him out. Equipped with the English-Russian/Russian-English dictionary that will surely do him no good they deboard and cling to each other in the frenzy of activity.
-----
"Are you sure we are in the right spot?" She asks impatiently tapping the opened toe of her heel on the tile. Customs was an adventure in slow shuffling and trying to ask people to either speak in English or much, much slower. Neither really worked and how they got through it she is still unsure.
"Not really sure but sure enough." He states grabbing her hand again. He toys with her fingers, as they wait for the machinery to roar to life, in order to get to the hotel for necessary sleep. She huffs something in reply but he doesn't hear her. A small blonde child on his mother's hip catches his attention and before he can break away she has followed his line of sight. He gives her flesh a quick squeeze and a wide grin. "How's my favorite mommy?"
She grimaces and shakes her head before giving into the laughter. Mother is equally associated with his mom or maybe her own but definitely not herself. "Never say that again." She manages to get out when the giggling becomes too much.
"You are my favorite." He notes.
"Prove it."
Slightly shocked he turns into her and cocks his head lifting his eyebrows seductively. "Yeah?"
"No Derek, not like that. Not in an airport, god have some self restraint for ten seconds."
"Need I remind you that we haven't had sex in almost a month?"
Her mouth gaping she whacks his shoulder with a satisfying thud. "Derek!"
"No one here can understand us anyway." He counters with a huge smirk.
"That's your defense?"
She could verge into a nasty fight, pregnant and exhausted so he switches gears. "What did you have in mind?"
She points. "Getting our luggage before it disappears." She gives him her own smile and a little pout before he moves forward grumbling.
-----
Stepping out of the black car appointed to drive them to the hotel Derek turns scowling to Addison. "Do I even want to know how much this place costs?"
Giving him a wink and a tip to the driver she states a firm no and takes in a deep breath. "Ready?"
Reaching an arm around her waist they make their way up the walk and through the doors into the massive entry way. A huge stained glass ceiling rises high above as she steps onto the tan and gold flecked marble. Along the doom shaped wall that leads to the ceiling she finds a mural delicately painted with the sights of Moscow. She quickly makes her way to the receptionist's desk and manages to convey her desires through some rough Russian and finally a very nice man who spoke perfect English. She knew she choose this place for a reason, well other than the large bed and fluffy pillows that are calling her name in the suite.
The elevator ride was spent in a blissful silence both relishing the freedom from airport bustling. Slowly she slips the key into its spot on the door and smiles pushing the door forward. Kicking her heels in the opposite direction she immediately heads for the bed. Stripping free of her dress she decides that pajamas are overrated and she is far too tired to care.
Traipsing behind her, he watches bemused as she steps out of her dress and dives under the red comforter. "That's not fair." He remarks voiding his body of all clothing and climbing in after her.
"No." She mumbles when he begins placing light kisses along her jaw. Continuing downward he lets his hand graze the top of her lace panties and then tease feather-like touches along her stomach. "Derek…" She whines trying to roll away.
"Addison." He asserts finding the spot behind her ear that usually moves them from second base to short stop preparing for the slide at home.
"Too tired…please…stop…ooh." She suddenly moans in appreciation.
He grins lightly blowing over the area before returning his mouth and sucking gently. "Stop?"
She contemplates all of four seconds before catching a strong whiff of his aftershave and dashing for the bathroom. Waiting tediously for his arousal to disappear before heading out to search for her, he hangs his head and huffs. "Addie?" He calls finally standing from the bed and moving toward their luggage for anything to put on but the clothes he has been wearing for almost twenty four hours.
He doesn't bother knocking and finds her slumping up against the bathtub with watery eyes. "Hey now," he states bending down to her level, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She gulps trying not to cry over something completely ridiculous. Her hormones are driving her crazy places and she isn't interested in alarming him any further.
"Nothing has got you all worked up? Come on." He stands offering her a hand and helping her back to the luggage, waiting patiently while she rummages around for some shorts and a tank top. Sitting on the bed yet again, clothed, she faces him sitting cross legged as he draws random patterns against her calf. "So? That was…"
"A little taste of what the next six months will be like?" She offers with a meek smile.
Quickly doing the math he blurts out, "September."
She gives him a shy nod and his look implores her to divulge the reasons behind the stupid freak out. "I want to have sex with you."
"Ok, well that's good because you really had me curious for awhile there."
"Sorry." She murmurs beginning to wring her hands together. "I'm so tired and I can't. I want to and then…you have got to stop wearing aftershave because you are killing me…and did I mention I'm exhausted?"
"You did. We still need to talk though."
"I know, I know." She states growing anxious as the tears begin to fill her eyes again.
"Don't…umm…don't cry." Watching her grow agitated he pulls her closer until she is settled in his lap and nestled under his chin. He doesn't do well with the crying, still. More often than not he opts for leaving the room but that isn't an option here or ever again. He strokes her hair and waits until she is ready. "Why don't we start with the basics? The doctor stuff and then we'll move on ok?"
"Yeah, ok." She takes a deep breath of climate controlled air and mentally leafs through the information picking out the highlights. "So yes…uh. September 23rd which means we- on New Year's Eve…anyway. Don't know the sex yet, obviously and I just had Miranda do a really quick check yesterday before we left so I don't know much more. There's only one concern I have but I couldn't talk the stupid lab tech into rushing the results so I won't know until we get back and I don't want to stress over nothing, you know?" She continues on somehow without taking in another breath. "He or she is about this big and that's it..." She holds up her fingers to show the length and then gives him a quick smile before adding, "Are you mad at me?"
He may be many things in the moment including; sex deprived, sleep deprived and nutrient deprived but definitely not angry. "No." He asserts rapidly to ward off the moisture rising in her blue orbs again. "I'm a little shocked because, well, you know why but I am not angry."
"I didn't tell you. I treated you horribly."
"With good reason." He adds supporting her.
"It's not an excuse."
"Well, I'm still not angry. Can I…." He trails off moving his free hand from the tangled hair to her stomach. Pulling his arm she directs him to the right spot and savors his warmth against the place she has been longing to feel it. "We're having a baby." He whispers into her ear like it's a secret.
"I know." She gives him a few more minutes before shuffling off his lap and cuddling under the blankets again. Finally he shifts himself mirroring her position and protectively lets his arm rest across her hip and toy with the elastic on the purple shorts that kind of drive him wild. Before he can fully settle he is swept away into a land of good dreams and happily ever after endings.
-----
Carefully twisting her red tresses she finds the suitable spot on the back of her head to pin them. Everything needs to be perfect and having loose and flowing hair somehow seemed inappropriate. He's not questioning the logic as he tightens the blue checked tie over his white dress shirt. He watches as she gives a few last touches to her hair and swipes one more dash of mascara across her lashes before emerging in front of him wearing the proper dark blue knee length dress that makes her eyes sparkle.
"You're wearing that tie?" She asks nervously.
"Yeah, well you packed it and I like it and I think it matches, it matches right?"
"Yes. But you can't wear that one." He shakes his head perplexed and waits for her reasoning. "It's blue."
Running his fingers along the silk he exclaims, "My god! I'm colorblind, this isn't red? Call a doctor!"
"Derek." She nearly shouts at the childish act. "First of all it's red-green deficiency, you know that. And secondly, yes it is blue but I am wearing blue and we can't be too matchy-matchy. It would look horrible, like we are trying too hard."
"We are trying pretty hard."
"But we can't let them know that."
"I'm pretty sure they deal with desperate people all the time Addie." He stands taking her hands in his and swinging them gently. "The tie stays." He points to the mirror opposite the room and slips behind her. "We look damn good."
She relaxes her head against his shoulder and takes a shaky breath inward. "You think they'll like us?"
"I certainly hope so." He adds quietly.
Turning to face him she looks him dead in the eye before fixing a piece of his wayward hair that appears to hate Russian climates. "Do we, I mean should I tell them about-"
"I think we are going to have to. I mean it will be rather obvious next time we come back."
"What if they say we don't get them then? What if they decide that since we are having our own that we can't have them?"
"Are we verging on a flip out again?" He asks honestly and gets a rapid head shake in the affirmative. "Ok, well let's think here. Those boys, our boys Addison they don't have another family."
"I'm sure someone-"
"You know how long that takes plus there are two of them. I don't think they are going to discriminate because you are pregnant. They will applaud our miracle, I'm sure." He waits a second watching her relax and smile. "You think we can do this?"
"Three kids under the age of three?" He nods. "I think we are crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you Derek."
"I love you too." He places a longing kiss on her lips before pulling back breathless and explaining that they should probably get on with it.
-----
Much to Addison's relief the agency didn't seem too affected by their news and were still more than willing to move forward with the adoption. Their U.S. affiliate assured them that there was nothing to worry about and continued to explain the process as it would proceed from then on out. By the time they finish it was reestablished that there would be a court hearing, but it should not be an issue, and then they would have to leave and come back in a few months to pick up the newest members of their growing family.
As they stumble past hallways and into the meeting room Addison notices the bright colors and toys strewn about the empty room. It could be better. The surroundings leave a little to be desired and kind of make her want to bring home a hundred kids but it could be worse so for now she is happy that they appear fed and clean. Their minds remain boggled as they take seats next to each other and try to wait patiently. Potential worries that were not previously taken into account before the stupid phamplets and flyers were placed in their laps occupy a good deal of space along with the relentless paperwork and impending court date in two days.
She's the first to move; the first to gasp when the boys are brought out and placed in their respective arms. She has no idea which on she has and it doesn't matter. Her heart nearly explodes right then and there as he looks back up at her with big expressive eyes. Slowly he turns to his brother and mumbles some sort of Russian jibberish that no one can make out. One of the workers explains that the one and a half year old on Addison's lap is Vitaly and Derek has Vadim. He smiles and waits patiently until they begin to cry but it doesn't come. Instead Vadim reaches his pale hand up and tugs on Derek's curly hair earning a giggle from his brother who shifts in Addison's lap looking for her hair.
The caregivers and workers discuss things behind them until a young woman steps forward. "They like you." She explains plainly. Addison nods and then offers her hand to the baby on her lap to play with. "They are how you say…troublemakers?"
Derek laughs and looks over to her before detaching the hand from his hair. "Of course."
They have learned a few things about them already. They don't enjoy being separated at any time, it leads to huge tantrums and endless tears. Typically they are quiet and now mischievous which Addison thinks is quite fitting. Silent but deadly. They know ages, height, weight, allergies, medical conditions but none of it was real until now. Staring down at the boys Derek gives her a quick wink and then moves to the floor to explore the finer points of playing with dump trucks and race cars.
All she wants to do is snuggle the baby against her
shoulder and feel his heartbeat against her chest but she relents and
follows suit, doing her best to keep the blue dress in place. Before
either one can look at a watch they are being removed from the room
with an excellent review and reassuring words. She aches to dash back
in and steal them away but she knows protocol. They have to wait it out
but at least they have each other in the mean time. She couldn't
imagine trying to do this all alone.
-----
Twisting back into her new favorite place below the covers she rolls onto her side and faces Derek later that evening. "They're pretty great."
"Yeah they are." He remarks setting the "book" (picture) back down on the nightstand and moving onto his own side to face her.
"I wish they could come with us now." She pouts letting her arm trace his bare chest.
"I know me too. But we have to do court and then wait until things are finalized. We'll have them soon enough, I promise." She nods and lets her fingers trail farther down.
"It's going to be hard."
"I
wouldn't have it any other way. No one is a perfect parent but we
deserve a shot at it." He eyes her suspiciously when she begins toying
with the edge of his boxers.
"Addie?"
"Huh?" She hums dipping her hand inside and rubbing him hard.
"You sure?"
"You wearing aftershave?"
"Nope." He smiles as she continues to work her magic.
Rolling on top of him she peels her shirt off and lightly places chaste kisses along his neck. Amidst a slurring sentence of moans and groans he manages to roll them back over and takes his time stripping the rest of her clothes careful to not push against her hips to hard as he slides into her. Moving slowly, in sync they finally explode together in a haze of colors and fuzz and lie panting until the ability to move reclaims their limbs.
Gliding to the side of the bed and wrapping his arm around her he whispers pleasantries in her ear until she gives way to sleep. He places a final kiss in her hair mentioning how much he loves her and then settles himself for another great night in Russia.
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