Sound Reflections
Christians POV
Surprisingly I started to feel more at ease over this entire situation as we started to let everything come out in the open. Countless sessions with Flynn have not provided me with the same level of peace, as this evening. Everything happened too fast when Ana and I broke up. I doubt that either of us truly understood each other's position or exactly what was happening until it was too late.
Ana looked ill at this point as a lot of resentment was being directed at her from my parents but, I knew that I wouldn't look overly generous when the next part of our story was told. I couldn't find Ana when she left, but eventually I did accidentally when she returned to Seattle. Elliot never told me about Ana still being pregnant. My parents, well to say that they were annoyed, frustrated and hurt would have been an understatement.
However, the most striking aspect of all this, was how well Ted was taking it all. He was upset but was reasonably composed and himself. I know that no matter what, he loves his mother. I wonder if he will ever realise how much I love him.
The night was taking its toll, and we all needed a break, as per Ana's wishes, in which I supported whole heartedly. Something was bothering her, something she hadn't thought about for a long time. My parents weren't happy that I was calling an end to the evening, but I promised them that they would get the answers to their remaining unanswered questions. I have vowed that we can meet for lunch tomorrow in my office. But first, I had questions of my own.
"Let me take you and Ted home" I asked Ana as we exited my parents' house. Ted was still talking to my parents and was not within ear shot.
"There is no need to Christian. Sawyer is outside waiting for us, plus I also have Elliot's car with me." Ana commented.
"Actually I sent Sawyer home and had Elliot's car driven back to his house already." Ana rolls her eyes at me and even though her reaction still annoyed me, I couldn't help but smile. It was so Ana. My Ana.
"We could get a taxi." She rebuts
"And I could pick you up and carry you over my shoulder, like a child and put you in my car. But I won't, and you and Ted will not get a Taxi." I scold.
"You're telling me I don't have a choice, right?" Ana raises her eyebrows at me.
"Just do as you're told for once." I reprimand.
The car ride is quiet, but at least it isn't antagonistic. I kept looking at Ted, and I notice how calm he is and considerate with his mother. Interesting, considering what he just heard, though we are yet to tell him about his birth, and early years and what transpired during that period.
Back at Escala my mind starts to race. Why wasn't Ted upset in the car? Did he know something? Or was it easy for him to forgive Ana? Or maybe since she has been such a loving mother constantly in his life, unlike me that she couldn't upset him. Back at Escala, I immerse myself in an old file. It contains everything I could get on Ana after she left, bank records, social security details, everything. Nothing was offering a solution until I found the information I was looking for, a record of her cell phone calls. I close my eyes and throw my head back. 'Please no! Don't tell me that is why Ana reacted the way she did. Please let me be wrong!'
Sleep is more difficult than usual tonight. My nightmares haunt me. Long gone are my dreams of my mother, they have long been replaced of Ted as a little boy, who is calling for me. He can't find me, or see me regardless of how close I get to him. Flynn believes that my dreams stem from guilt and remorse. If only I could change the past.
At 8am, I contact Andrea to cancel all my appointments today and maybe any I have tomorrow morning.
"Uncle Christian" Ava states indifferently as she opens the door for me. I raise my eyebrows at her. She is usually extremely cheerful and welcoming, mainly because I have spoilt her over the years, much to Kate's distaste.
"Ava" I kiss her cheek and scrutinize her facial expressive. "Are you well? You seem somewhat off" I examine.
"Well I should be" She hisses and hurries off. Elliot who has witnessed his daughter's behaviour comes over to me. He looks like he has had a rough night.
"What is up with Ava?" I ask. Elliot looks like he could deck me.
"You, Ted and Ana. I told her that Ted was her cousin and your son" I have never seen my brother so put off.
"But she likes Ted. They have always got on." I reason.
"Exactly. She has ALWAYS liked Ted. She has this massive crush on him. After I informed her the truth I told her that she couldn't have a relationship with Ted, she rebutted that since we are adopted that it wouldn't matter. We are not blood relatives. Took me over an hour to explain to her that nevertheless you are MY brother, regardless of DNA, and therefore Ted was her first cousin, and she was not to pursue a relationship with him." Elliot looked horrid then laughed.
"Why are you laughing?" I look at him as if he has lost his mind.
"Well at least she knows he isn't gay anymore. Like father like son, hey?" He jeers. Ah, there is the brother I know so well.
"So what are you doing here Christian? I should warn you that Kate is even more negative towards you than usual. Best keep out of her way. She will be leaving in a few minutes, anyway." Elliot warns.
"I understand. Stay away from Kate or you will be left cold at night, right?" I raise my eyebrows.
"Exactly" I shake my head and laugh. How on earth he ever managed to stay happily married to Kate, is beyond me.
I eye the stairs. Oh how I would love to run upstairs and find Ana wrapped in that little towel again. Though, I doubt I would be able to control myself. Then again, if what I suspect is true, I should go upstairs, and put her over my knee for not telling me the truth.
Ana doesn't come downstairs until 9am, probably due to the long night we had. She doesn't look surprised to see me.
"Morning Christian. You turning up, unannounced, is becoming a regular occurrence." She yawns. I pour the kettle and pass her a cup of hot tea. "I think this is still your hot beverage of choice"
"Yes, thank you" she smiles as she sees the English breakfast tea tag. It is the first genuine smile she has given me since… I can't even remember.
"Is Ted still asleep?" I ask
"Yes. He went to bed quite late. He was completing some school work after we got home." I am immensely proud of Ted. He has grown up to be a dedicated and compassionate person. Even though, he has been accepted into college, has a high GPA and has already qualified to graduate, he hasn't let up on his academic obligations.
"I intend on attending his high school graduation" I advise. Ana looks genuinely surprised.
"Christian you don't…"
"I want to be there. I know that you despised your mother for not attending your high school graduation, and I do not intend to repeat that error." God knows I have made enough of those.
"I will save you a ticket then," Ana says taken back.
"Good, I have an idea for a gift actually..." I suddenly stop talking when I hear footsteps and Ted come downstairs.
"Good morning, Ted. Your father thought he would join us." Ana says.
"Like a family?" Ted mocks.
"I came over as there is something I would like to show you both." I inform them. Ana and Ted look at each other unsure. "Please Ana. I do not want you going back to New York before you both showing you this." I push them.
"Alright Christian, just give us some time to get ready." Ana speaks for them both.
The ride in the SUV is quiet but calm. It only takes Ana a short time to realise where we are going. "The house. The house by the sound." She says putting her hand on her heart.
"Our house" I reply. Or what should have been ours. Her lips form a perfect 'O'. Oh god, intimate and intense memories hit me hard. Ana is killing me today. Focus on the task at hand Christian. "You never even saw it finished and furnished."
I input the code at the gate and see a couple of tears roll down Ana's face. I want to kiss them away. I walk around with Ana and Ted, showing them the house. It is magnificent as it was the day I locked it up. The all glass walls really warm up the house. The wood flooring and tiles truly make it elegant. Upstairs, Ana and Ted look inside the rooms as I lean back. This is the level that hurts me the most. It was where Ana, and I should have shared and worshipped each other. Where Ted should have slept each night. Where we would have conceived, any other children we may have had.
"Why is this room locked?" Ted asks. Ana gives me a distinctive look and mouths 'playroom?' I shake my head.
"I locked it when I knew." I stop and run my hand through my hair. "When I knew your mother and I weren't going to get back to together. It was supposed to be your room. I organised the layout of the nursery before you were born." I confess. This has been one secret that no one had known about besides me.
"Can I see it?" He asks.
I pull the key out and unlock the room, but I don't enter with Ted and Ana. I don't need too, I remember every inch of the room, from the dark wood crib, matching change table and chest of drawers. To the feeding chair that was also a rocking chair, to the décor and clothes, I ordered from Nieman Marcus's, children's section.
I am leaning against the railing when I briefly feel Ana's hands on my shoulders. It is the most comforting thing I have ever felt in years.
"You never told me about that room" she states.
"I think there is a lot that you have never told me too" I repel. She narrows her eyes, remembering something unpleasant.
"Ted, do you want to go around and look that the property? Taylor can show you the grounds. They are quite large, and there is a path leading to the ocean." I tell him.
"Actually that would be great," He says. We both smile at each other, the first time since he was maybe four.
Once alone, I take Ana's hand and lead her into the main bedroom. Our room. Ana stiffens up, but I continue to partially drag her. I sit her on the bed and pull over a chair in the corner, so I am facing her.
"Christian, I am not going to do this," She tells me.
"I am not going to try and seduce you, Ana." I point out.
"Oh….good," she says failing to hide her disappointment but then adopts her tough exterior. I smirk at her.
"But it can always be arranged." I run my finger over my lower lip.
"Christian what is it you want?" Ana says faking indignation.
"There is something you haven't told me, but you have told Ted. When we told him, and my parents, about the trigger point that made you leave me, my parents were horrified, and though Ted was upset, he didn't react as he should have. Then on the way in the car, he was his usual, loving self with you. So Ana I know something happened before I arrived that day at the hospital, something that made my words to you sound worse. Something that made you exaggerate and be unreasonable." I tell her hoping that she would just tell me straight up.
"Christian, I don't know what you are talking about." Ana lies. She looks up at the ceiling, trying not to cry at the memory. Standing up, I caress her cheek with my knuckles.
"Ana, please tell me. I know you got a phone call, in between Kate and Elliot leaving you to sleep and me returning from New York. A phone call you have never told anyone about except Ted. I want to know why my life got thrown upside down, when I finally thought things might have been getting back on the right track. I had one of my happiest moments in my life, when I saw your text when I landed in New York. Tell me please, Ana or I will go to the source and find out what happened!" I tell her.
"Christian, please it is all in the past." Ana tries railroad the subject.
"But what ever happened, led to this situation we are in today. It started everything happening, me being away from Ted, why we never fixed this mess. I have to know, tell me. I need to know why I lost the two most incredible people in the world." I beg her.
"You could have come back to us. You could have been part of Ted's life." Ana tells me.
"I know and regret that. But now you are trying to divert the issue. Anastasia I need to know what happened. I want you to tell me." I beg.
18 years ago:
"Kate and Elliot you both don't have to stay. I'm fine. I just need and want to sleep, and Christian will be here in a few hours." I tell them. They both look unconvinced. "All I am going to do is sleep."
"Okay, but call me if you need anything" Kate insists grabbing my cell phone and placing it next to me. I look at it and notice I have missed some calls and text messages. I look at the text message, and it is from Christian.
*Coming straight home to you. Stay strong my Ana, we will get through this. I love you*
He doesn't know that I was originally carrying twins that we lost one but still have the other. I wonder if deep down him feels relieved. I push the thought out of my mind, remembering his words in his letter. I hate that I am here without him. I should have been on that plane with him. I realize that I have missed two calls from my mom, but I don't desire to ring her back. I rest my head on my pillow, praying that the next thing I will see is Christian next to me
The loud ring of my blackberry wakes me as I struggle to open my eyes. I have no idea of what time it is. I suspect it is Christian on the phone. He has probably landed and is telling me he is on his way. Picking it up I answer it, not even bothering to look at the ID.
Ana: Hello
Carla: Finally you actually answer your phone.
Oh no, this is the last thing I need. I should have checked the ID. I always check the ID.
Ana: Hi mom. I have just been busy and to be honest this isn't the greatest time. I am...
Carla: …in hospital I know. I know everything.
Ana: How?
Carla: I called you at home and Gail told me.
How did Gail know? Did Taylor ring her?
Ana: Gail knows I am in hospital?
Carla: Yes and she know that you have had a miscarriage. Seriously Ana, what were you thinking?
Ana: Thinking? Mom I don't understand what you are talking about, I couldn't prevent having a miscarriage.
Carla: Oh no, I think that is the best thing that could have happened to you and Christian. I was talking about what on earth you were thinking about getting pregnant so early? Christian doesn't want a baby or to be a father. This is just so selfish of you.
Ana: Mom, how do you even know what Christian wants? We never see you and you certainly never come here. You didn't even come to Ray's funeral.
Carla: Ana listen. Let's not get emotional about this, think this through. Christian is more concerned with keeping his empire growing, keeping you to himself and doing as he pleases. A child is not what you want to add to the mix right now, it would end your marriage. This was terribly selfish of you.
Ana: Mom, Christian and I love each other very much
Carla: I am sure he does, but probably not with a baby in the mix. Trust me from experience, a baby at a young age and so early into your marriage is the last thing you want.
Ana: What do you mean from experience?
Carla: Your dad and I had you too young and too early. It wasn't for the best for us, and especially not for me. If you had this child, then it wouldn't be in the best for Christian. Trust me when I say that when he sees you, he will tell you that you both can just go back to the way you both were. He may not tell you, but he will be thrilled that you are no longer pregnant.
Ana: You wish you didn't have me?
Carla: Oh Ana, not this again.
Ana: Mom…
Carla: Look Ana, I know this is uncomfortable and hurtful, but it is the truth. Christian will not be upset at the news.
I disconnected the call and couldn't stop myself from crying. Mom put the seed of doubt back into me. I shouldn't trap Christian into a life that doesnt want.
Christian's POV
I grip my hair so tight that I honestly think I am about to pull out some of it out. Why didn't I realise something had happened when she asked me to leave the hospital room. Her reaction was not like Ana at all.
"So when I came and told it was alright and that we could go back to normal, you thought that I was relieved that we lost the baby?" I never felt so angry before.
"Yes. I got so worried that maybe my mother was right. I wasn't thinking straight. I don't know if I was hormonal or just emotional from everything that I had gone. I just snapped. I released myself from the hospital, when to the penthouse, left everything that you could use to find me." Ana frowned as much as I did.
"Why didn't you come back to me? Why did you stay away for eight months?" I enquire
"It was just hard to return. The longer I was gone the more I became convinced that you didn't want me or the baby. And when I arrived back in Seattle, and you saw me, I thought that you honestly didn't want me or the baby." She reasons.
"I behaved very badly that time." I look at my watch and observe it is 11am. "We should get back to Grey House and meet my parents. I know they still have many questions as does our son" I help Ana up, and even manage to pull her into an embrace. I bury my nose into her hair. She smells wonderful. My Ana.
Back at Grey House, my parents have already arrived, ready for round two. Hell, I wonder if the French inquisition was as intense as this. Andrea brings in sandwiches, fruit and Danishes for our lunch.
"So Ted, Mom and Dad, I guess we should restart, and the next piece of the puzzle was when Ana returned to Seattle." I fill them in and take a deep breath. "And Mom, Dad and Ted, before I begin I want to say that I am sorry for my actions during this time. I have long since apologised to Ana for my treatment of her."
"What did you do?" My father says disapprovingly. I look at Ana and mouth 'sorry' to her again. She nods and gives me an apologetic smile. I moan and begin to tell the whole horrible truth.
Authors Note:
THANK YOU FOR YOUR HUGE RESPONSE TO THIS STORY! Please keep reviewing as it gives me a real good insight into what you are thinking.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and got more answers. There are more answers to come also in the next chapter! The next chapter will be up in 48 hours, I am just doing final edits.
Enjoy and cheers to Crystal9034for editing this chapter again!
Regards,
Maria
