In answer to a review, don't worry, Functional will be finished.


Functional

Chapter 7: Rekindling the Rivalry

Kyle was working as hard as he could to finish the remaining paperwork to a good standard so he could go home and see his family. His parents and Sharon were stopping over for dinner, a monthly occurrence that Stan had suggested and had also suggested that they leave Randy out of at the same time.

Kyle completely understood.

Randy had a habit of doing before thinking and Stan had usually been the one who had to pick up the mess. Having Sharon and Randy in the same room usually ended in an argument because Randy had a habit of being insensitive. Stan was ultimately closer to his mother and that was why he invited her over.

When Stan had turned twenty-one, Randy had taken him to a bar (even though Stan refused to touch alcohol) and had invited Kyle along because Randy did actually like Kyle. Stan, being the far-too-kind soul that he was, had agreed to go but not drink. When the smell of alcohol was starting to overwhelm him he had gone to the bathroom and Kyle had tagged along. Upon re-emerging five minutes later, Randy had loudly announced that his gay son had gone to the bathroom with boyfriend and they didn't have sex. Stan had made choked sound of horror and Kyle's face had gone as red as his hair, he had found it difficult to speak throughout the rest of the outing (although he had ranted later on).

Stan was still apologising three weeks later.

As soon as he finished and filed away the paperwork he stood and left the hospital to go to his car. He sat in the driver's seat motionless for a few seconds before starting the car and pulling out.


"I'm home!" He called as he stepped over threshold.

He immediately heard quick footsteps as Ethan ran over to him, when Ethan had first started doing this, he'd barrel into Kyle's legs and completely take him out. Now Kyle was able to time a catch and lift him into a hug.

"Hey bud," Kyle chuckled as he kissed his son's forehead.

Ethan didn't reply, but Kyle kept hold of him as he walked into the kitchen. Stan was at the oven.

"How long do I have before they come over?" The redhead asked.

Stan was concentrating on the food, "About half an hour. Hi, by the way."

Kyle laughed, "Hey dude. I thought I wouldn't have to say it because it's just a formality."

Stan looked to him and smiled, "I'm still waiting for my hello kiss."

Kyle set Ethan on the floor and pecked Stan's lips, "There you go, you needy bitch."

"Daddy said a bad word," Ethan said in tone that said 'you're in trouble'.

"He did," Stan agreed, "And I'd better not hear you say words like that or I'll wash your mouth out with soap like we are with Daddy now. Ethan, get the soap from upstairs."

Kyle looked at Stan with horror as Ethan ran upstairs, giggling as he did so.

"I've told you to stop swearing around them," Stan glowered playfully, although his tone was serious.

"I'm sorry," Kyle grinned sheepishly, "I can't help it."

Stan had been able to train himself to stop swearing around his kids, he was still as bad as he used to be when they couldn't hear. Kyle hadn't been able to train himself, he still had a mouth that was in urgent need of soap.

"Just try," Stan shook his head, winding his arms around his husband's waist, "I don't want them being as bad as us or getting into trouble because of it."

"I do try!" Kyle exclaimed indignantly.

Stan pressed a finger to Kyle's lips, "You'll wake Jake up."

"I'll go up and see him in a bit," Kyle spoke with Stan's finger still on his lips.

"I got a phone call today," Stan said after a little while of just holding each other.

Kyle hummed to show he was listening.

"My family want to have another reunion," Stan explained, "They wanted to know whether we're going."

"When is it?" Kyle asked.

"A month away, I said that I'll talk to you about it."

"These are the same people who didn't show up to our wedding?"

Stan nodded, "We don't have to go if you don't want to."

"Just give me some time to think about it."

At this point, Ethan bounded into the kitchen, holding the bottle of soap from the kitchen. The boy handed it to Stan who squirted some onto his fingers.

"I was serious Kyle," Stan smirked.

Kyle ran to the bedroom he shared with Stan and tried his best to hold the door closed. Stan was taller and stronger, so he opened the door with ease and cornered his husband.

"What kind of example are you setting to your son?" Stan grinned as he pinned Kyle to the wall.

"Get off me Stan!" Kyle struggled.

Stan forced his soaped-up fingers into Kyle's mouth and rolled them around his tongue, the widening of Kyle's eyes was almost comical.

"YOU FUCKING PRICK!" Kyle bellowed when the fingers left his mouth, "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Stan descended into uproarious laughter, "That's only going to make things worse."

Kyle pulled Stan into a kiss and forced his tongue into his mouth, spreading the soapy taste into Stan's mouth.

"You devious little…" Stan smiled at his husband.

"You fucking deserve it," Kyle huffed.

"Aw c'mon," Stan pulled Kyle into a hug, "Don't be like that. You know you can't stay mad at me."

Kyle eventually relented and returned the hug, "Goddamnit."


"Did you get told about the reunion?" Sharon asked as they sat down to dinner.

"Yeah," Stan replied, "We don't know whether we're going yet."

"I am," Sharon said.

"We need to properly talk about it," Kyle shrugged, "There's just a lot going on right now."

"If you don't want to go because of me then don't worry about it," Sheila frowned.

Kyle bit his lip, "I… don't know."

"You said about how they didn't come to our wedding," Stan clasped Kyle's hand in his and squeezed it gently, "We don't want to stoop to their level."

"Okay," Kyle sighed, "We'll go."

Stan leaned over to peck his cheek, "Make sure you tell me if Garrett's annoying you like last time."

"I'm a big boy Stan," Kyle said as he sipped his water, "I can take care of myself."

"I know," Stan held his hands up, "It still doesn't mean you should bottle it up."

"Stan has a point Kyle," Gerald pointed out, "He can help you with it. He is your husband."

"We're a team," Stan smiled at him, Kyle grinned back and rolled his eyes, "Say it."

"The best team," Kyle said in mock disinterest.

Stan just flashed him a giddy grin, Kyle just shook his head with a smile.

"You two are ridiculous," Sheila laughed.

Kyle shrugged, "Like we care, we are what we are."


Ethan was grouchy, he'd been dragged up at 5:30 by his dads so they could go on a trip.

"You okay?" Kyle asked as he tied the boy's laces.

"Tired," Ethan replied.

"You can sleep in the car," Kyle kissed his son's forehead, "Why don't you go upstairs and grab your pillow so you sleep easier."

"Can I get Minty?"

Minty was a green teddy bear that Ethan had owned since he was a baby.

"Of course."

Ethan sluggishly climbed up the stairs and to his room to get the aforementioned items.

"He okay?" Stan asked, holding Jake in his arms and holding a bottle to the baby's lips.

"Yeah," Kyle rubbed his eyes, "Just tired."

Ethan stepped down from the last stair and yawned, a pillow stuffed under one arm and green teddy that was half the size of him tucked under the other.

Kyle took the pillow from him and held his hand out for the boy to grasp.

"We'll get you in the car," Kyle said as they walked out to the car that had been loaded with their suitcases.

He strapped the boy into his booster seat, tucked the pillow behind him and kissed his cheek.

"We'll be leaving soon, if you want to sleep then you can."


They had set off ten minutes later, both of their sons were asleep in the back seat.

"You can sleep too," Stan said, he was driving.

"If you want me to stay awake, I will," Kyle replied with a yawn.

"Just plug your phone into the radio," Stan smiled, "Put our playlist on."

Kyle smiled at him and did as he was asked, "I think you know what song's coming on first."

Stan smiled back, "I do."

'Something About Us' filled the car and Kyle leaned over to rest his head on Stan's shoulder.

"This song reminds me so much of you," Stan said softly.

"Likewise, how could it remind me of anything else? That was one of the three best days of my life."

"What were the other two?"

Kyle laughed, "What do you think?"

"The births of our boys?"

"Bingo."

"I love you," Stan said, "I feel like I haven't said it enough lately."

"I love you too," Kyle answered, kissing Stan's cheek, "You tell me every day."

"You deserve to hear it multiple times every day."


Stan knocked on the door as he held Ethan's hand, Kyle was leaning on the pram that held Jake. The door was opened by Garrett.

"Hey, Stan!" He greeted brightly, crushing Stan's hand in a handshake.

"Hey Uncle Garrett," Stan smiled, just being friendly like usual.

"Kyle," Garrett nodded to Stan's husband and he got a nod in response.

"So these are the sprogs?"

Stan nodded, gesturing to the boy that was clutching his hand, "This is Ethan and the baby is Jake."

"Come in."

They stepped in and Kyle took Jake out of the pram, Stan folded it up and took it upstairs.

"We have another baby here," Garrett said.

"Jake's pretty quiet as far as babies go," Kyle explained, "Ethan was difficult."

Stan was down pretty quickly and was astonished to see Kyle making small talk with Garrett.

"You guys want a drink or something?" Garrett asked.

"I'll get them," Kyle handed Jake off to Stan.


Garrett stepped into the kitchen while Kyle was filling three cups with water.

"So, you married him?"

Kyle nodded, "Yep."

"You had better not corrupt any kids here."

"You're actually starting this shit again," Kyle laughed.

"I am," Garrett frowned, "I'm serious."

"Don't worry," Kyle smiled sarcastically, "Stan will be the only one who remains corrupted."

"He better had be."


I have a few oneshot ideas but if you want to request a oneshot that takes place in the Dysfunctional universe, PM me or leave a review, if I like the idea I'll use it. There's one coming up which is a game of 'Never Have I Ever' so leave some stuff for that too. If you're going to leave ideas in the reviews, actually leave some feedback and not just the idea.