Chapter Seven: An Excess of Headgear
Hermitwo checked her timetable. "Ooh...Defence Against the Dark Aardvark next!"
The two chums and Hermitwo made their way to the Defence Against the Dark Aardvark class with haste. They found that they had arrived the previous morning (which is bound to happen at least once in your life, when you live in a magical castle). After Time had shaken itself awake and twisted itself around a little to get logic and plot points back into order, it became apparent that what had at first appeared to be a human sized shivering Chihuahua with a bad haircut was actually the Defence Against the Dark Aardvark teacher. When the rest of the class had assembled themselves, he introduced himself.
"I," he said, somehow managing to stutter the single, non-dental syllable, "am Professor S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-... you know, the little f-furry an-animal w-w-with sh-sh-sharp t-t-teeth..."
"Wolverine?" Harry supplied.
"Chipmunk?" Rhon suggested.
"Beaver?" Neville attempted.
"Hermitwo?" Malfoil tried, staring pointedly at Hermitwo's buck teeth and frowsy hair. For the second time that morning, she burst into tears. "Squirrel?" she asked between sobs.
"Yes! I am P-professor S-s-s-s-s... what she just said!" the professor leaped around excitedly. His curious ethnic headgear bobbled wildly.
They all stared at his curious ethnic headgear. "Hey, what's underneath that?" asked Harry. "There's a big bulging thingy…"
"Hey…" said Rhon, "It looks a bit like a second brain, you know?"
"Don't be stupid," objected Hermitwo, "There's a funny protruding object from the back…"
"Hey," said Rhon, "If you look at it from this side, it kind of resembles a nose…"
"And there are funny ridges above that as well," pondered Harry.
"Almost like eyebrow ridges," muttered Rhon.
They all stared again at Squirrel's curiously-shaped ethnic headgear. There was a very awkward pause.
"Now, shall we start the lesson?" said Professor Squirrel. He switched to a monotone.
"Twas a brillig day, when I encountered the Vampyre of lore," he proclaimed, before being interrupted by a loud chorus of sadly genuine snoring.
After a curiously refreshing slumber, Harry, Rhon and Hermitwo awoke to find the classroom deserted (or desserted… it comes with extra whipped cream). Rhon checked his timetable. "Oh. We have Flying Lessons next."
"OMG!" Hermitwo cried in surprise. Harry and Rhon blinked at her.
"What?"
"Sorry," she said. "I have a weird affliction that makes be break into chat speak at random moments. BTW, what's flying lessons?"
"It's where we learn how to fly on broomsticks," Rhon explained as they hurried along a corridor. "The best flyers might be picked to join the Skeeditch team."
"I know all about Skeeditch," said Hermitwo. "In fact, I own several books on the subject which I will continuously bring up during the year to demonstrate my knowledge on everything under the -"
She was stared into silence.
