Another batboy has to face the kitty. Let's see how Dick does!=D


Invitation

Dick looked over the invite over and over again, trying to figure out what he was going to do. He only had a few options if he was going to go at all. Babs was too young to fit the bill and most of the other women in his life were around her age or younger. That would not do, unless he was cute about everything and asked Roy if he could borrow Lian. But then he'd have to answer a lot of awkward questions. As fun as that would be, it was probably better if he didn't.

Which was what led him there. Of the handful of possible ladies to take to this dance, this one was top of the pile. Diana was next, then Zatanna, but he was really hoping one stop would be enough. And he'd been outside this woman's door for a good five minutes, trying to come up with a way to ask her. Why was it so hard to just knock her door and ask? Maybe because he'd be admitting something he didn't want to. Maybe it was saying something he knew was wrong. Or maybe he didn't want to be indebted to her for any reason whatsoever.

Uhg... why was this so hard?! Just one measly invitation and she may not even accept! All he had to do was knock and-

"Are you my apartment's bodyguard now or what?"

With a jolt, Dick turned to see Selina Kyle walking towards her door. The elevator door was closing behind her and groceries were in her hands. Well, there was one advantage to not knocking until then. "Um... actually..."

"Make yourself useful tight-pants," she ordered without any hesitation, passing over her bags of food. She also whipped the card he was holding out of his hands. "I'll take that. Bruce inviting me to something, or is this just a pretense to a case?"

"Ah... Actually..." The young man turned bright red as he fumbled to say why he was there. She didn't fumble with her keys. "Um...That's... actually..."

"Bludhaven Policeman's Ball?" The door opened and he was given access to her place, on the condition he followed her. She hesitated, still looking at the card. "You're inviting me?"

"Kinda?" Oh boy was this going to go south. And she was reading the rest of it, making this even more awkward. Why was he holding her groceries again? "There's... ah..."

Her eyes grew wide as she read the last of it. "Mother's appreciation ceremony?!"

"It's to praise the women in our lives," he tried to explain, moving to a table to set the bags down. "Everyone's required to bring the most influential woman in their lives. Moms, aunts, and teachers are all accepted, but moms are top of the pile and-"

"You're asking me to be your mom for the night?" The incredulous look on Selina's face made him wince for a moment. "Do I look like your mom?"

That stung a little, taking away his nerves. Arms free, he glared a little as he defended himself. "No. You don't. But as she's six feet under, I can't exactly bring her now can I?"

That made her take a step back, looking down and away in shame. "Sorry. It's just... Why ask me?"

"Because..." Taking a deep breath, Dick explained his reasoning. "Look, you have to admit, Bruce has been my dad for over half my life. He's had a lot of girlfriends, but he seems to stick to two in the end: you and Talia. We're not speaking to Talia after that last stunt she pulled, and you've seemed to clean up your act a bit. When you wanted to get to Bruce, you never used me or any of the others as hostages and we've saved each other's tails enough times to trust each other. And you do give some pretty good advice... sometimes.

"Guess it comes down to... between you and Talia, I'd pick you." He grimaced slightly at a memory. "That princess never got my sense of humor and was such a prissy brat whenever B wasn't looking. You always saw me as a person. Third wheel kid of course but-"

"Quit burying yourself bird boy." Her curt order cut him off before he made it any more awkward. Tapping the invite to her chin, Selina seemed to think it over. "So... can't ask O to go with you because of age huh? And as I almost fit into the right legal timeframe available, you came here..."

"Pretty much."

"What about those Justice League babes?" Her raised eyebrow brought out the question even more. It was a fair one.

"Most are too recognizable out of costume." Dick hung his head for a moment. "They're the last resort I've got. Trying to avoid asking them really."

"Hm." She looked up and down him once more, debating things. She looked over the card again, still thinking. "I don't know if I should be flattered or not."

"Flattery or no," he folded his arms to finish the debate, "do you want a night of free food, some dancing, boring speeches, and a chance to flaunt yourself in front of a hundred policemen and women without them having a clue that you like to evade them while stealing the rich blind? I can introduce you as a family friend and say you've been there most my life. Not a lie. You in?"

Selina twisted her lips in thought for a long moment. "Did you talk to Bruce about this?"

The young man stiffened. Something he neglected. "Ah... no... Should I-"

"Then I'm in."

"Uh... what?" That was a little fast. And judging by her growing smile, it wasn't for good reasons.

"He's been a butthead lately," she explained, her catish grin growing. "Left me in the cold last weekend at the theater, no explanation."

"I... think the League called him away to help take down one of Luthor's schemes." He tried to recall what had happened that'd force him to do that. "They needed him to hack an isolated system or something. He... didn't mention leaving you at the theater on the report."

"Oh that makes it all better." Sarcasm dripped from her lips. "I guess taking that-"

"AH! Don't want to hear it!" Hands flew to his ears, ready to be plugged. "Don't make me an accessory. The less I know, the better.

"Long story short, he ditched you, you want to get even. And you want to use me to do so." He shrugged. "I need a date, and you are willing. You can tell Bruce on the condition that you don't tell Babs." He stopped a moment and rethought that. "Or... rather you can tell her, but if you do, tell her everything. Deal?"

"Bruce being an idiot with you too eh?"

"A little bit."

That made her chuckle. "Alright. Deal. Friday at three?"

"The party's at seven."

"A girl has to get into the mood you know." Her Cheshire grin put his to shame. "Not to mention I'll need that platinum card of yours to get ready."

Dick rolled his eyes. "Right."


A/N: Daww... silly Dicky's in a sticky situation. This is kinda how I see their relationship is. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Who knows. Either way, that was fun!

FYI, there seems to be this long winded, unimaginative, semi-anonymous guy who decided to write this elaborate, completely pointless to the subject, essay (was not a review, so I just deleted it), post it as a series of reviews here, and then posted a short insult to me, my parents, and I'm not sure what else, on another story. Over all I just deleted the whole thing because whoever that was, was clearly a loudmouthed prick who needed to learn a simple thing called' a time and place', and didn't have the courage to use their account so I could fight back against them. If you've run up against this guy (no idea on gender, totally guessing), just delete them. If you have a problem with a story, you can either point out the problem politely or walk away. I've done that a lot and helpful criticism is much appreciated. I have a thick skin over all thanks to a large family of artists, but I also have a sharp tongue and a protective nature. Instead of insulting writers, the higher road is to ignore them. Same with poor reviews but i digress. Roughly, the old adage stands: if you don't have something nice or helpful to say, keep your mouth shut.

Rant's over. Have fun!