Chapter Seven

A/N: Before any of you who have followed/favorited/added it to your story alerts try to kill me, maim me, or disown me I'd like to mention that the romance between Shauna and Daryl is going to be long winded and will piss you off by it's seemingly lack of progress. However, the end result will be amazing- trust me. As for this chapter? Well, it started as a character building exercise and I thought I'd throw it in here for fun since it gives you a little more insight into Shauna's mind. In case your curious (or confused... or both!) she is carrying a journal around with her that provides her some emotional comfort as well as providing anyone who comes upon it after her death with important information for survival. Remember, fan-fictions are fun, so no flamers, though friendly fire is welcome :) bon appetite!


Date: Mid-November, 2013

Place: Chattahoochee National Forest, Georgia

Coordinates: 34.65, -84.05

Entry Number: 296

Owner: Shauna Shingiotewa-Collins

The rate of infection continues to spread rapidly- I have yet to come across a place on the ground that is safe enough to camp in for the remainder of winter, and the tree's are becoming uncomfortable due to the cold weather. I require nothing elaborate, simply a secure facility that would shelter me from the elements... I am becoming desperate.

The group of survivors I came across have offered me their friendship by inviting me to sit by their fire and share their food. I noticed petty, trivial possessions amongst their camp- possibly an attempt to remain connected to their former lives and therefore, not allowing them to completely accept the changes around them.

Each day becomes harder to leave them as I have become quite enraptured with the only child remaining within the camp, Carl. I irrationally agreed to teach them to make their own clothing, by definition creating an emotional tie between myself and the group.

It is becoming increasingly difficult to remain emotionless when facing a hostile situation. I lost control of my temper and attacked a member of their group. While no one, aside from the man I attacked, seemed phased by my lack of propriety I am mortally embarrassed by my actions which only serves to add to my guilt.

I am 29 years old, my personal and academic accomplishments show great discipline, but I allowed a hot-headed, unsophisticated hick to engage my emotions to point of carelessness. I am not confident enough in my fighting and resourcefulness to think I could out-run the members of that society, and I feel as though I must contribute the outcome of the situation to pure luck- a scientific term that under normal circumstances would seem irrelevant.

Daryl is the name of the man whom I attacked tonight, and while it is no excuse he frightened me and I reacted instinctually. It is rare for me to lose my well guarded temper, and I rashly asked if the men in charge would keep him away from me; now, I'm already regretting that decision. Daryl is an excellent hunter and tracker. Statically much better than me, and I am not ashamed to admit he could teach what I do not know. I will however, not retract my statement for the time being, as I feel I have suffered enough humiliation at the hands of the rustic hillbilly. His health has seemingly returned and he'll be able to hunt for them from now on, relieving me the stress from hunting on a constant basis.

I find myself questioning his connection to the group outside of his skills, though. He's quite protective of them, especially a older woman named Carol, but still very distant from everyone. The entire group is dysfunctional, and yet somehow continues to work together.

Each play their part to a T, while maintaining their own independence and bumping heads in the process, allowing simplistic things such as food rationing and protective measures to become complicated. Its obvious from the way that Andrea, a young, blond female, and the beta, Shane, deliberately stood apart from one another, not even sparing a single glance, despite how evident it is that they are enjoying a clandestine sexual relationship- and the oldest of the group, Dale, hates Shane for a reason the group seems impervious to.

Rick continues to keep the group uninformed of Lori's pregnancy, though he won't be able to keep it a secret much longer as I can see from her pelvic structure and stance she'll be showing quite soon. I tell myself nearly everyday that I'm only staying to redeem my guilt, even to study the groups functionality, but I know in my heart it's untrue.

On a deep, personal note: I find myself terrified of what this new world may continue to bring. Medical supplies are low, food sources are depleting, and winter will bring more disease and famine. Once, I was a scientist dedicated to finding ways to protect the world. Now, I am simply a normal human being who fears for her life, as well as the lives of others.

There's a part of me that believes I should be looking for my Father, as I haven't from him in approximately six months. I just keep thinking of my little brother and how he died. I cannot allow something to happen to Carl. He needs to be protected at all costs- and I think my Father would understand that.

I think.