Summary: Ever had that annoying habit of thinking up what ifs when you're down? Making up random scenarios in your head and wondering what the outcomes would be for each one? If only we could run our lives according to what we come up with. If only, in a perfect world, maybe. If only Derek hale hadn't tossed me aside like I meant nothing at all….yeah…if only.


A/N: OMG OMG OMG! WTH?! OMG! Derek is now…a lone wolf practically! Issac….omg im in love w/ him now….this is NOT good…that might sway what I decide to do for the story..hmmmm lol jk I already know exactly what im doing for this story so don't worry. lol read and find out but SERIOUSLY?! This week's episode blew my mind, I had to write! Lol anyways….on w/ the story! Read/Review…..please? lol have a good day guys and…enjoy! Again…I own nothing but my OCs!

Ps special thanks to the two people that reviewed =) Lycan Lover 411 who reviews after every chapter which I love btw! lol and Persephone Price for helping me improve my story! You helped me out a ton! Hope to do better!


Kira's POV

I was awoken by a strange buzzing and to be honest, I would have tossed my phone against the wall since it woke me up, but it was Dr. Deaton. Immediately after seeing his name flash on the screen, all traces of ware and sleep were gone. I answered it and began to panic a bit when I got no reply. I called out to the older man and still no reply.

"Oh, sorry. Kira?" I bit my lip in relief, stopping myself from sighing out happily at the sound of him being ok. He seemed like the only one able to help me.

"Y-yeah? It's me, Dr. Deaton. Are you alright?" I could hear him pause for a second, followed by the sound of typing.

"Yes, I have news regarding that file we were investigating yesterday." I was suddenly up and trying to throw on clothes to make my way over there. "Someone knew I was trying to access the file and deleted it from where they were…" He trailed off, I stopped.

"What? Who woud….but how?!" I asked. Someone knew about her…What if someone had her?! I started panicking and tried to calm my heart beat. I couldn't get out of control, or I'd probably take off and blindly try and track her down by scent alone! A futile attempt at that!

"Yes…why someone would try to check up on a veterinary file and meddle with my files, I'm not sure. But because I was trying to go through a back door when accessing the file, I was able to trace the signal." My eyes flashed their violent green and I growled. "Before you go on a rampage now, you need to stay calm and think about what your next course of action is going to be. It might be someone trying to protect their whereabouts, but regardless, you can't go rushing into the scene and look for who-knows at a library." I stopped.

"The signal came from a library?" I asked confused.

"It would seem so. They were careful to cover their tracks….I'm afraid there isn't much more I could do now." I sighed.

"Thank you… Dr. Deaton…you've helped me out a lot actually…Do you mind telling me when and at what time that happened." I could tell he was hesitant, but eventually he gave in to my request.

"It was around eight this morning. I thought I'd get to work on it as soon as I got here since there were no patients that needed my immediate assistance." I nodded, looking at the clock, that was only an hour ago.

"Thank you, again. You've been a great help. I see why my mother thought so highly of you." I could almost hear the smile in his voice as he spoke next.

"You're welcome Ms. Kira." Suddenly his light voice had a warning to it. "I'd tread carefully if I were you. Who ever took the time to alter my file, block my computerized one and delete it, obviously doesn't want you finding that little girl. It could be dangerous."

"I know, and that's why I have more reason to find them. And sooner rather than later." I bid him goodbye and quickly finished getting dressed, skipping a meal entirely. I wasn't hungry anyways. I decided not to give this person a way to track me down, like say a license plate number, and settled for walking to the library. When I got there, I wasn't sure what to do from here. I don't have a face to go by…or even a scent. Computers, or those at the library anyways, generally have a log on data base where it tells you who's logged on and at what times. I guess I would just have to log onto every computer and see who's been on at what times. "This is going to take a while." Not only was I horrible when it came to technology, but I didn't have the patience for this.

After a total of three hours of searching through the computers, I finally came up with three plausible suspects. One woman named Janice Avery, and two men, a Michael Sardone and Kyle Anderson." So now I just had to find out who these people were. This time, when I sat down I opened my lap top and started looking these people up. At first, neither one of them struck me as odd. Janice was going to the community college here in Beacon Hills. Michael was a fourteen year old freshman and then there was Kyle. At first all I found was a record of him going to college a bit south from Beacon Hills and graduating two years ago. What caught my attention, though, was the fact that he also died two years ago.

"I don't know why a zombie would want to delete a file." I spoke to myself quietly, and sarcastically, too. Well, I had a suspect. Through process of elimination, I was getting closer. However, I knew that I wouldn't be able to just go ask the librarian if I could look into her files and see where Kyle Anderson lives. I groaned. I was beginning to really hate this game of Sherlock Holmes. "I hate mystery movies and this is turning into one!" I growled out lowly, slamming my lap top shut. For now, that bit of info would have to do. "Kyle Anderson….hmmm..Helen Grace…." I shook my head, packed my things and went back home for my car, I was hoping maybe Stiles could help me out. It paid off to be friends with the Sherriff's son. I hope this would give me some leverage as to finding out who was Kyle Anderson.

I knew the boys got out at three, so I assumed they'd be home by four….I think. Whatever, point being they wouldn't be at school and I wouldn't be distracting them from their work. I'll just text them later. So for now I guess I had extra time to myself. I decided to train, I hadn't done that for quite the while and I was beginning to get flabby. I was a bit insecure. I was always a step behind the other wolves when I was younger. Never felt as pretty as Laura, either. Maybe it was because before I even shifted I was slightly above my weight level. I wasn't fat, I knew that. I actually don't believe in fat. I believe in muscle. I don't want to be skinny, or diet myself to starvation. I just liked a healthy look. And as a werewolf, well that was necessary to survive. I decided I'd go for a full out were wolf workout.


Well to say I got a little carried away was an understatement. I was all sticky and sweaty, but the after burn from my work out felt great. However, I had spent way too much time doing that, well over five hours! It was a little past seven when I was finished and opted for a shower before texting Stiles. That took longer than I anticipated. The cool water had felt so great on my heated skin. I had just let the cold water hit my body for a while before shutting it off. I wrapped a towel around myself and went to retrieve my phone. I was ready to call Stiles when I noticed I already had several missed calls from the ADD boy and a couple of texts. I listened to the first three voicemail.

"Hey, It's Stiles, well no duh it's Stiles I mean you have my number on your contacts-Ow! Quit it! Geeze! Anyways, call me back! It's urgent!" I made a face. Sure Stiles was a bit strange, but that was weird even for him. I listened to the next. "Stiles again! Hey! Call me!" I went onto the last voice mail. "Okay, you really have to answer or call me back because I think I'm going to be thrown over somewhere with my throat ripped out!" he hissed out hysterically, quietly. I glared at that, what the hell is that, I thought. I looked to the text messages.

"I have an angry werewolf breathing down my neck not to text you, but please!" Scott wouldn't threaten him….

"Kira! If you love me in any way, please! Come to the Vet's office!" I looked to the clock and realized it just finished flashing nine o' clock. The office would be closed by now. Suddenly my phone vibrated again.

"Okay, here's the deal. Either you come over, or I'm going to have to look for a place where I can bury a dead werewolf!" At that one I started moving. I grabbed a plain navy blue long sleeve and blue skinny jeans and was quick to put them on. I grabbed my phone and called Stiles.

"Oh thank god! Listen! I'm with Derek, he's been shot and it doesn't look good! And" I stopped him

"Stiles, wait what?! He was Shot? H-how bad is it?!" I asked, trying not to let my worry show, knowing full well the beta would hear me.

"It's bad, he wants me to freakin' saw his arm off!" He enunciated every single word towards the end, slowly. I started panicking.

"W-what? What the hell, Stiles? What do you mean-"

"Hello?" I was quiet upon hearing the gruff and worn voice of Derek Hale. "Kira? I told you not to call her, Stiles. Here…she hung up."I was suddenly in motion, awake from my moment of weakness. His voice sounded so weak and frail, so hurt. It hurt me to think about it, but I couldn't think of that now.

"I-I'm here." I called out, scolding myself for stuttering.

"Kira? I was shot, it's a different bullet and I can't heal-" I stopped him.

"It was you they shot…" I trailed off thinking of last night.

"W-what? You were with, Scott? He said the same thing."

"I'm on my way, Derek. Let me talk to Stiles." After a second I heard Stiles answer. "Listen, under no circumstances are you going to cut off his arm, got it?" I all but growled.

"Trust me! It's not like I want to cut the damn thing off!" I could hear the hysteria in his voice."Just-Just hurry!" I nodded, even though he couldn't see, and hung up.

I was quick to grab my car keys and went running downstairs and to my bag where I kept certain herbs. I grabbed wormwood, not sure if it would heal the wound, and decided to take some snowdrops as well. I quickly took the whole flasks of the powdered and whole plant and stuffing them in my bag before taking off like a mad woman down the road. As I was driving I got a text from Stiles.

"Scott said it's a Nordic blue monkshood! Something like that! Derek says its wolfsbane." I didn't waste any time upon arrival, not even bothering to park properly when I got there. I knew things were a lot worse than I originally thought when I read that text. I wasn't sure if either herbs would be able to help him. I went straight inside and saw Stiles first.

"We need the Bullet, how did Scott know what it was?" I said, my voice all business.

"He's at the argents trying to get the damn bullet! Derek came out of nowhere and well..now we're here!" I nodded at him and looked around, spotting Derek leaning on the floor.

"Derek!" I gasped upon seeing him. He was breathing hard and I had trouble getting him to stand up. He was beginning to fall asleep. I slapped his cheek a few times. "Derek, come on, Derek…come on Der…" I begged, unknowingly calling him by a childhood nickname he hated. "Derek?" He didn't do anything. "Derek!" I shook him, nothing. "How long has he been like this?"

"Like that?! Well he just knocked out, and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing." I panicked.

"I-I need to try something." I got my bag off my shoulder and went for the wormwood. "I'm not sure if it'll work, but it's worth a try. I grabbed the ground powdered version and looked at his arm; I could smell the deadly plant all over it, his arm smelled putrid and rotted too. I rolled the sleeve up and opened the bottle. "This is going to hurt, Derek." I said before grounding the powder into his wound. He shouted out, growling viciously. Stiles jumped back, startled and I started laughing in content.

"What…the hell…was that?" he asked out of breath.

"It worked!" shouted Stiles. "Sort of?" He said upon seeing that his arm still looked shitty. I was too damn happy at least I could stop the poison from spreading for a bit, stalling it. I was so happy, and I couldn't understand why.

"K-kira?" I smiled at him, my grin wide as I wrapped my arms around him and before I knew it, I was kissing him, hard.

"O-kay…this is awkward." Vaguely, I was aware that Stiles was there watching me suck face with Derek. For a second I didn't care and was ever so gentle with him, when I realized what I was doing. I pulled back, shocked and stared at him. His eyes were closed again, but this time his breathing was a bit better . He had an arm wrapped around my waist as I realized I was leaning between his open legs. I blushed and tried to pull him up, Stiles finally came over to help. "Okay, what the hell was that?!" He shouted, his face looking grossed out. I sighed.

"Nothing…kiss of life?" I joked, he didn't find it amusing. I heard Derek grunt in pain and went for the other plant.

"What is that?" he asked, wary.

"It's powdered snowdrop…it'll help lower your temperature at the very least….you're burning up." And so was I, I thought as I felt a blush creeping from my neck to my cheeks. I knew he was suffering from a high fever from how hot his lips were against my own, and his hand wrapped around my waist. Which still felt warm at the moment. He nodded and I realized I didn't have time to necessarily make him a tea of this crap. "It'll taste bitter, but you're going to have to eat the powder." He looked at me and nodded, his eyes soft one minute and hard the next. If anyone asked, I wouldn't admit it, but he startled me when he snatched the flask from my hand and just ate the powder like if it was Lucas, that powdered candy!

I saw him shake his head before stepping away from me, he was avoiding eye contact. My eyes hardened a bit and I went to stand by the door. Stiles looked a bit uncomfortable, staring between me and him. Finally I snapped, "What?!" he just shook his head and looked away quickly. I saw Derek pull off his shirt, his triskele in full view; my hands absentmindedly traced my own version of the same tattoo on the back of my neck. I remember how painful the damn thing was, but well worth it. I shook my head once I realized I was checking out the rippling muscles on Derek's back. I looked away, mad at myself for being so week willed. I knew my heat cycle would be soon at the rate my hormones were acting up.

"You know that really doesn't look like some maganisia and a good night sleep couldn't take care of." I scoffed, trying not to laugh (the situation wasn't exactly appropriate for laughing after all) and instead kicked off the wall and towards the metal table. Derek still wouldn't face me, maybe he was too focused on the wound. I noticed it looked bad still, the same as when I applied the wormwood so at least it wasn't spreading.

"When the infection reaches my heart, it'll kill me." I noticed the strain in Derek's voice had returned, focusing on that rather than the fact that I was actually worried. I'll admit it, to myself anyways, I didn't want him to die. Not him too.

"I applied wormwood to the infected area…it did a bit…seemed to stop the poison from spreading…or at least it had. Monkshood used is strong, very potent, I'm sorry I can't do more." I said honestly, trying to meet his eyes. He wouldn't catch my gaze and settled for looking at Stiles before rummaging through Dr. Deaton's things.

"A lot of good it's going to do me if I still die." Ungrateful much? "I told Stiles not to call you, you'd only be taking up space." I glared and was going to just walk out, knowing if I did he'd probably die if Scott didn't get here. Stiles stopped me, begging me with his eyes to stay as he turned to Derek.

"Positivity just isn't in your vocabulary, is it? If it wasn't for her, it would have spread farther already." I smiled at Stiles efforts, even if they were in vain since Derek didn't listen to a word of it.

"If he doesn't get here with the bullet on time…last resort." I looked at him funny, Stiles too.

"Which is?" Stiles asked like it was the most obvious thing. If there was another solution, we'd take it.

"You're gonna cut off my arm." Stiles paled and looked like he was going to be sick, me too.

"I-I thought you were kidding back there! I-I…" Yeah, I think Stiles was ready to puke at the idea. He didn't look any better when Derek handed him the saw and worse when he turned it on for a second. "Oh my god!" I could practically hear him speaking through the bile already rising in his throat. I looked away, trying to blend into the wall. Yeah, I was a wolf and should be able to handle the carnage, but this was different. I used to have a thing for the guy! I couldn't watch them cut off his arm! I was having a hard time seeing him hurt! Now imagine seeing him armless!

"What if you bleed to death?" I heard Stiles ask.

"It'll heal if it works." I scoffed.

"If? You're basing this off an if?!" this guys was an idiot. He still wouldn't look at me! Irritated I crossed my arms and turned back to stare at the door. "Ugh!"

"I don't know if I could do this." I frowned, hearing the bile rise up in his throat again.

"Maybe it's because he's severing your damn arm off, Derek?!" I hissed and turned to look at him, Stiles looked at me grateful. "What the hell are you going to do if it doesn't work and we still have to wait for Scott? You aren't a damn lizard, Derek! Your arm ain't growin' back, babe!" I said annoyed and sarcastically now, he wouldn't look at me.

"I'm not asking you to do it, or even cut your own damn arm off so shut up." I heard him say, annoyed. I growled out at him and reminded myself that the asshole might kick the bucket on his own, he didn't need my help. I stormed off outside now, needing to relax. How is it we could go from making out all worried one second to…this? This is exactly why I didn't want to get near him.

It was always like this when we were kids, when we were teenagers. One minute I'd swear he liked me and the next, it was like he wanted me away from him. He was hot one second and cold the next and quite frankly, I was getting annoyed of these damn mood swings of his! I had enough dealing with my own!

"Oh great, now great! She was only-" I slammed the door as I exited, trying to block out any sound, like maybe a damn saw cutting through flesh. I felt a bit better when the cool breeze hit my face. I can't let him do to me what he did back then; I wouldn't let him wrap me around his finger like when we were kids. I'm not that same little, naïve girl! I don't rely on anyone to do the work for me anymore, to get me out of jams…

"Screw him." I told myself, about to walk off to my car when a disgusting smell hit me. I knew it all too well from when my dad was wounded terribly after a run in with some hunters a couple years back. He was in serious danger, he didn't have much time left. I suck up my anger and ran into the room.

"Derek?" I asked him, he was whipping his mouth of the black bile from his bent position.

"Now, you gotta do it now." I heard the urgency in his voice and despite my earlier thoughts, my eyes softened. He was scared.

"I don't think I can…"

"Just do it!"

"Oh my…" Stiles grabbed the saw and I saw his eyes look at me hauntingly. Derek was afraid of dying, I just realized how scared he was too. Stiles was…is …afraid of cutting off Derek's arm

"I-I'll do it Stiles." I couldn't believe I said it. Stiles looked relieved and all too happily jammed the saw into my hands. I glared at him when I pricked my finger on a corner, but went back to looking at Derek's arm. He was looking at me with tired eyes, worn, tired eyes. He nodded to me, breathing heavily. I did too and closed mine for a second before turning on the machine. I was so going to hate myself forever for this…

"Oh god! Oh man!" I could hear Stiles panicking for me as the idiot still looked on at me. I started lowering the saw, still scared myself .

"Stiles?" I sighed in relief as not only Scott's voice rang throughout the office, but the smell of the monkshood did too, my eyes flashed green for a second. "What the hell? What's going on?"

"Oh my god! Oh you just prevented a life time of nightmares." I nodded, looking at the saw before tossing it far away from Derek and I.

"Did you get it? I heard Derek ask and I started walking back outside, seeing as I wasn't need nor wanted here anymore. By Derek, anyways. I heard Stiles ask Derek something and then I just heard him fall. I whipped around quickly to see Derek on the floor and Scott reaching for something under a metal table.

"Derek? Derek come on wake up." I was at Stiles side quickly as he slapped Derek on the face, no reaction.

"What the hell happened?" I asked.

"I don't know! He fell and now Scott's trying to get the bullet!" I started looking between him and Scott. They were out of this mess, I turn away from them for a minute and suddenly we're back to this? Derek still dying!

"He's not waking up!" Stiles warned. "I think he's dying! I think he's dead!" Stiles went off in full panic mode. At this rate I was going to have to slap Stiles too!

"I got it!" We heard Scott shout, but Derek was still out.

"Please don't kill me for this.." I heard Stiles mumble when he suddenly punched Derek as hard as he could in the jaw. It hadn't worked and instead he was now cradling his injured hand.

"Oh move over!" I growled. I reared my hand back. "This is for all the shit you've done buddy, one of many to come." I growled befor.. bam! I hit him right in the cheek. He jolted, awake again. He got up, took the bullet and was quick to remove the cap I got the lighter and burned it as I watched him collect the bluish grey remains and jam them in his wound, I looked away, only imagining the pain.

He was suddenly thrashing and howling in pain, growling and groaning. I could see it working though, the veins on his arm loosing that awful infected look as he thrashed on the ground. I kept listening to him growl and I covered my ears, feeling tears well up in them. I felt someone wrap an arm around my body and bring it to their chest. So much for changed…I was still that weak little teenager that needed people to comfort her! But seeing him wither in pain was horrible. His howling subsided slightly and I pulled away from who I noticed was Scott. I saw the bullet wound closing as a small wisp of smoke came out of it before it was completely sealed.

"That was awesome!" exclaimed Stiles, I glared at him and he just grinned sheepishly, astounded by what happened.

"You okay?" I rolled my eyes at Scott's question. Really? After seeing the hell he went through you ask that?

"oh except for the agonizing pain." Derek lashed at Scott sarcastically.

"Guessing the ability to use sarcasm is a good sign of health." I giggled a little at that and Derek turned his glare from Stiles to me. I just returned it and he looked away.

"Okay…we saved your life which means you're going to leave us alone." I looked at Scott before turning to look at Derek cryptically.

"I thought I told you to leave them alone in the first place, Derek?" I growled out at him, he just ignored me, looking over me and at Scott.

"And If you don't I'm going to go back to Allison's dad and I'm going to tell him everything." Now I glared at Scott.

"Are you crazy? You can't do that, you idiot!" I hissed at him.

"You're going to trust them? You think they can help you?" spoke Derek

"Why not?" asked Scott confused as he stared between me and Derek. "They're a lot freakin nicer than you are!" Scott rebutted against Derek "And at this point at least it'd be help!" he said towards me.

"Hey! I came here alright? I didn't have to, but I did anyways." I said, slightly hurt, but I hid it well.

"Yeah, I could show you exactly how nice they are." Derek spoke cryptically. That was my cue to walk away.

"And she's going to back me up and come with us." I turned to glare at him.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Derek. Especially not to talk about that!" I growled. I saw flashes of that burning inferno. I still felt horrible just thinking about how close I was to helping Peter….the sounds of popping and burning flesh and the screams…their calls for help. "I'm not." My voice cracked and I noticed Derek look away for a second.

"If he's to see how bad the situation is with them, you need to come. You are coming."I growled at the order. I looked at Scott and sighed, he was right, partially. Scott needed to see how bad the Argents were.

"Fine." I growled out lowly.


A/N: first off let me say that I was origionally going to make the kiss a lot more heated but figured…he's sick and doesn't know what he's doing..she's emotional…lets add a little heartwarming kiss and leave it at that….next chapter…ima give you guys a spoiler…confrontation between Derek and Kira….again xP

Let me know what you guys thought of the latest episode of teen wolf yeah?! =D oh and what you thought of this chapter. Any changes you think I should make? =P