OK guys, to the twifans, thanks for the reviews :) to the HP fans, sorryyy my muse is still on HP track but the Eclipse film distracted her, i am already in the middle of both updates in wasted op. and fltd so be a bit patient

for now

enjoy...


Knowing…

Alice and I were sat on the big sofa of the living room, switching thought the channels of the huge TV before us after Alice won the fight over the TV remote; she finally let on a channel about fashion, something that would satisfy us both.

'You think they will have fun?' I asked my sister and she smiled brightly.

'I'm positive,' Alice replied as she smiled at me, Emmelie and Alex had taken little Rosalie and little Irene out as the two human girls of the family deserved to have a walk around the town, some ice cream and a nice trip to the new zoo that was finally opened in the area.

As I sat there, next to my middle sister I smiled as I knew she had seen them having fun, after a few moments, Bella entered the room and both Alice and I smirked at the same time as in unison, we looked up at our youngest sister.

'Edward's smell is all over you,' we said in unison and I could swear, were she not a vampire, she would be blushed like a tomato. Bella tried to dismiss us with a wave of her hand as we made space for her to sit down, she did so now we were sat in the order we had joint the family with Alice in the middle and myself on one edge of the sofa like Bella was on the other. As I stood there, I remembered the night of my fight with Alice and the talk I had with Edward, that was the first time I had actually shown interest for the human girl that was meant to be my sister.

Forks 2005

I sighed as I stopped fixing the mechanics of my beloved red BMW, Alice and I were going shopping that afternoon and I knew my sister was probably ready to go so she'd be in the garage any moment.

It was kind difficult for me to share Alice with that… girl, Bella Swan. Alice was my best friend, she was my sister for the past 50 years, it was getting to me that we didn't spend the same time we did before we came across the human girl. It got to me that Alice was so happy and excited every time we drove to the high school so she could see her. It got to me that suddenly Bella had taken the attention of two of my siblings, my mother and was close to take my father's attention too. At least I was on the same side with Jasper who was on for getting rid of Bella and Emmett of course who would never stand against me, his soul mate.

I sighed an unnecessary sigh of frustration as I pulled myself out of the car and stood on my feet, I moved close to the counter top and took my Cullen crest medallion and wrapped it around my neck, for someone that didn't use the Cullen name, I was the one with the largest jewel, for me, names didn't prove the loyalty in one's family, actions did.

When five minutes had passed and Alice didn't show up, I clenched my razor-sharp teeth and moved towards the door that connected the garage to the rest of the house. I knew what was happening, this wasn't the first time in the past weeks, Alice canceling our meetings or plans so she could run to Bella's house, or Bella's father, or Bella's whatever. The moment I moved out of the garage, I saw Jasper approaching me with a small frown on his face and my suspicions were just confirmed. Jasper looked uncomfortable too and I was sure his wife had sent him to tell me about the canceled plans.

'Rose… Alice can't come with you for shopping… something came up and she-'

'What? Did Bella need help get out of the bathroom and your wife and annoying to no end sister of mine is rushing to the Chief's house for help?' I snapped at my favorite brother as he was sent to take the blows of anger. Jasper shook his head and the fact that he didn't speak made me even more furious, when he tried to use his power on me I actually slapped his arm.

'Don't do that to me, you know it makes things worse!' I snapped and Jasper sighed, I tried to calm down for a moment I realized that something was off. 'What is it?' I asked and Jasper looked up at me, our amber-like orbs meeting, I knew Jasper, I knew him very well, after Emmett, Jasper was the person I knew better in the world, like he did with me after Alice, so fooling around me wouldn't do the trick.

'Nothing, just… Alice needed to cancel your appointment, that's all.' He told me and I just knew he was covering something greater here. I huffed at him as this was a rare occasion of him needed to choose between his soulmate and his only sister and I hated that I was losing the argument. I tried not to fight with my favorite brother, as I was already in the warpath with my elder brother so I just passed by Jasper and towards the second floor of the house, where I knew Alice was hiding as I could smell her sense still in the mansion.

However, Jasper held my arm and I turned around and looked at him surprised. His eyes were tensed and I could even see worry, that made my stomach kick uneasily.

'Has something happened to Edward?' I asked and Jasper shook his head, my heart clutched again as I asked my next question. 'To Emmett? Or our parents?' I asked with a small voice as my husband and parents were gone for a hunt from the morning, when Jasper shook his head my temper rose once again. 'Then it is about Isabella-freaking-Swan…' I pointed out and jerked my arm away from Jasper as I rushed up to my sister's room. When I entered I saw Alice by the window, looking out of the glass with a worried expression as the afternoon got wasted away as the time melted. It wasn't about the darn shopping itself, it was about the time I didn't spend with my sister anymore because half of the family had found a human as a toy.

'I won't tell you how unacceptable your behavior is, ditching yet another plan of ours because your precious Bella, again, fell over some flat surface probably. But you can make sure that I'm done planning anything with you in the future, forget completely all our hobbies as sisters because obviously your value none of them!' I shouted as Jasper showed up behind me, not even daring to use his power on me. My ego was also insulted and if my family wanted to believe that they know me, they should have thought of that.

'Rose… I'm sorry but something really important came up,' Alice tried to tell me but I would have none of it, not again.

'What now, Alice? What's her problem? She's a plain girl, a plain, human girl and you all run around her like the flies around the shit!' I didn't even mean to shout anymore but my voice was coming out of my long neck on its one accord and volume. I was ready to keep shouting but I halted as I saw the all too familiar glances between Alice and Jasper, I knew something was on but first, I wanted to take out my frustration and then learn about it all.

'Now will you tell me what's on? Jasper told me it's not about Edward, our parents or Emmett… so what is it?' I asked and Alice was ready to brush it off but I spoke before her. 'And don't tell me nothing because you know that eventually, I will find out… so spill it.' I added and Alice finally sighed, looked once again at Jasper and as I saw through the mirror of her bedroom his nod, Alice spoke.

'Bella was in Seattle with some other girls but she got kind of lost and a bunch of guys followed her… they tried to attack her but Edward was in time, she's fine with him now.' Alice told me and I froze, maybe I shouldn't have pushed to learn what happened. I almost felt sick as the girl I resented so much was very close to get through the hell I got through, so many years back, at least, thanks to my brother, she was saved. It hurt to know that Bella was close to be treated as cruelly as I had been, it hurt to know that I could be so unfair to someone that had good chances of dying tonight.

I didn't realize how I moved out of Jasper and Alice's room, nor how Jasper held my arm again but left it after me not answering if I was alright or not. I just moved downstairs and back in the garage where I just stood before the luxurious cars of the family. My mind was full of thoughts and my dead heart full of stupid, mingled emotions.

I hated to admit that I felt relieved for her survival, when I had suggested her death, a suggestion that came out of pure jealousy. I would never wish for someone, even Bella Swan, to get through something similar to my experience. The family wanted to think that I was jealous of Bella because of the attention she drawn, I wanted to think the same. But I knew the truth and that hurt the most, I was jealous of her pitiful, short, human life, a life that I would kill to have, her possibilities, her choices, even her luck of not being through what I had been because of my brother's presence at the right time.

I hated to admit that Bella's nature was what hurt me the most, I would be more content if Tanya was Edward's made, she was a vampire, she was through what we all have been through, but Bella… she had so many choices, so many years to live, so many things to become, a college student, a professional for some job, a wife, a mother, a grandmother…. a person remembered for her life… a dead person that would have lived a full life… she had all I wanted and yet some more and that hurt me. I was beautiful, I was very beautiful, I cared about my family, I cared about people that I didn't know and became parts of my eternal life. Yet, my only sin as a human was my vanity and my shallow mind and I had been paying for that for more than sixty years now…

I wasn't sure for how long I was in there, in the garage, staring at the traffic lights of my father's car, the garage however was opened and Edward's silver Volvo got inside. I remained standing there, as I looked at my brother through the glass of the car as he parked his car and came out of the car. He glared at me suspiciously and I sighed as he had some right to do so, I had wanted Bella's death some days prior.

I didn't know how long the time had passed by with me there and now Edward was ready to pass by me, ignoring me like he did for the best of our time, even the moments of sync we had here in the garage, sharing our passion for cars had been vanished ever since the fight we had in the dining room that night when he had almost called me a murderer and I had called him a stupid, irresponsible and stupid little man.

My thoughts were masked however and that made him angry, I could see.

'What? Are you disappointed of Bella surviving tonight?' he asked in a spat and I actually felt hurt, he knew I would never wish for someone to feel the pain I felt, the humiliation and the suffering. After a moment he stopped frowning at me as I remained silent, he knew he crossed the line. 'Sorry,' he mumbled and only then I spoke.

'No… don't, I have been terrible I know… you did good to save her, she was lucky to have you there…' I said in quiet voice, I would never apologize, it wasn't in my nature, especially when I still believed that Bella and Edward's… love could jeopardize the family's safety, yet, I had to acknowledge that Bella deserved to be healthy and safe from harm's way, especially that kind of harm's way.

Edward probably saw my sad expression and he moved a step closer and I looked at him, we didn't have a lot of moments of understanding and care but we did, we were siblings after all.

'I wish I had been there for you too, Rose…' Edward almost whispered and I smiled sadly and nodded. He knew how much tormented I was by what that scum did to me that night, along with his friends. He also knew how often and how intensely I thought about it along the consequences of me being a barren vampire, frozen… never moving forward. Edward could read my tormented mind and Jasper could feel my pain and the three of us hated that life the most, however, they were men and they had been changed for entirely different reasons. I had been a pure girl that got raped and beaten and left in the street like piece of nothing to die in the pool of my own blood. Edward shook his head and frowned as my painful thoughts ran inside my mind and to his like poison, I chuckled sadly.

'Sorry… I know… I think too loudly,' I apologized for the painful thoughts and images. He shook his head this time and moved closer to me again.

'I know it hurts… tonight, I realized how difficult it must had been, I met you after your turn, but this time I saw her fear, her terror… I might not being able to read her, but her face showed it all…' Edward whispered and I sighed as I knew how that human felt, I had felt the same once. The brotherly moment ended with a small smile of sympathy and care from my brother as he stepped away.

'I still don't like her,' I said before Edward could move away and out of the garage, we were tensed ever since the family council in the dining room but even like this, we built some bridges again…

'I'll see you tomorrow here, we have to check out Carlisle's car,' Edward said and like that the appointment was set, were almost back to "normal". We were siblings again, even with all those differences and the big problem tagged as Bella Swan between us… we were siblings.

'Rose… are you still there?' Bella was asking and I snapped out of my thoughts and saw the entire family looking at me, how they gathered all there I didn't know, I just saw everyone, the Denalis included around the place with Emmelie, Bella and Alice looking at me strangely, their honey like eyes full of worry, Edward standing by some feet away, looking at me too.

'Yes sorry, I was lost for a moment,' I replied as finally, little Rosalie fell in my arms as she let Emmett's hug and came closer to me. Edward was still looking at me with a small smile on his face, I hated it when he could see my soft spots or my memories without my permission, if I wanted to be open about something, I'd do it myself.

Say a word, Masen and I'll hunt you down like a dog….


soooo? yes we started the twilight saga shots and i have some nice ideas for the next ones, please review and tell me what u think :)

CP09