A/N: LAST CHAPTER! YAY! This chapter contains lyrics from "Might Have Been" like the last chapter and "Disgusting" by Miranda Cosgrove. Also I'm posting the first chapter of the follow up tonight! Look out for: "Hopeless, the Sad Fate of Nate Black: A Dumb Diary". And again thanks to Poet on the Run and JDPhoenix! Also thanks to all of you who reviewed! (specificially suburbs and Standard-Ang3l) Thanks so much! Enjoy!

Insanity, Thy Name is Caitlyn: A Pointless Diary

June 15th, 2010 (1:23 PM)

I'm hiding. Again.

But for different reasons.

Jason thinks I've been working too much. He's trying to keep me from my laptop and the rehearsal cabins.

HE'S MAKING IT VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO WRITE THIS SONG FOR HIM.

Seriously.

The Beach Jam is TONIGHT! Luckily, the instrumental is mixed and ready to go, but I haven't had much time to rehearse thanks to Mr. Overprotective. Oy.

Why can't Ella be my distraction when I really need one?

*sigh*

No, she can't because she's somewhere unknown with Nate. (Who missed his classes today. He NEVER bails on his classes. *clears throat* Ella wasn't in class either. Suspicious much?)

Back to me.

I didn't hide in the theater this time. Jason would look there first.

I'm hiding in Brown's office in the administration building. (I, um, managed to get a key. Let's hope I get out of here before Brown shows up.) Jason definitely won't find me here.

Oh no. The door knob is being unlocked. HIDE, HIDE, HIDE!

BUT WHERE?

1:33 PM

I'm cowering under Brown's desk.

ALL OF CONNECT THREE IS IN HERE.

What is with my luck with hiding places? HOW DO THEY FIND ME?

Seriously, is there some sort of beacon that lures Jason to WHEREVER I try to hide?

xD You know, I kind of like that idea. A Jason-Signal would be nice. I could just flip the switch and there he would be. Like a more endearing version of Batman.

You know, a Batman that doesn't break the legs of mobsters.

"Do you guys hear scratching?"

O.O

Gotta go.

2:00 PM

I'm back in my cabin, but I've locked myself in the bathroom. Even if (when) Jason finds me he won't be able to come in. HA!

*singing tauntingly*

BTW, I know where Nate and Ella were.

*evil smirk*

And no they weren't making out behind the dining hall. Although…that would be some progress.

No, THEY WERE WRITING A SONG.

Seriously, they were writing a song.

Ooooo, scandalous.

(Sarcasm)

But apparently to Nate writing a semi-profound song is as exciting as making out. He was flipping over the moon. I mean I love music. Passionately love music. But I think Nate's THOUGHTS are made up of musical notes and treble clefs. No lie.

That's what they locked themselves in Brown's office to talk about. Nate writing a song with Ella and angsting over what to do about his feelings.

Jason did manage to fit in a small worried rant about me. "She's obsessed with whatever it is she's working on. She's going to burn herself out at this rate." I melted. He's worried about me. *pathetic mooning sigh* It's really disgusting how I feel about Jason.

O.O

SONG IDEA. No! I don't have my song book.

Okay, Lottie, you're going to have read a random first draft of a chorus.

It's disgusting how I love you
I can't take it, I should hate you
Cause your messing up my name.
Gotta walk my talk, my fame, but I just want to touch your face.

It's disgusting, how you've changed me.
From a bandit to a baby.
Think I might gotta change my name,
If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame.
Look at what you do to me.
It's disgusting.

Geez, new total of songs written about Jason: 16

SIXTEEN!

Mitchie was in shock when we were looking through my songbook the other night.

It really is disgusting. The mushy sort of disgusting.

Okay, and I've got 5 hours until the Beach Jam.

FIVE HOURS! OMG! OMG!

How am I going to do this? Jason will be in the audience.

WATCHING ME! LISTENING TO ME!

Oh no. OH NO.

!

Sorry, that wasn't me freaking out. There was a bang on the door. Hold on.

AHHHHH!

Okay that WAS me freaking out.

It's Jason. AGAIN!

I'm gonna be SO unprepared for this Jam.

Ugh, I give up. Jason is too persistent for me to EVER find time to practice. GEEZ!

If my performance sucks I'm totally blaming him.

"Caity! I know you're in there! Put down the diary, and get out here!"

NO!

…just because I like to listen to him squirm.

"Caity. The door is locked, and I can hear your pen scratching against the paper."

*sigh* I need to learn to stop writing when I'm trying to hide.

"Oh, and I KNOW you were hiding in Brown's office earlier. Some advice: stop writing in that diary when you're trying to be covert. It's a dead giveaway to your position."

Position? We're not in the military, Jase.

"Oh for crying out loud, do NOT make me beg like Shane. Because I will whine if I have to."

"OH GOOD LORD, NO!"

Woops, said that out loud. Is it possible to HEAR a smirk? Through a door?

"I knew that would get you to talk."

Darn him! How does he know these things about me?

"I'm still not coming out there."

"Why not?"

"Because I like listening to you try to convince me to open the door. It's entertaining."

"Evil."

"Yep."

"Are you going to make me wait in your cabin all day?"

"I might."

"Evil AND cruel."

"Was there any doubt?"

"Not really, no."

"Okay, now THAT was cold."

I am in shock. Jason was successfully sarcastic. LOVE IT.

"There's a jam in a few hours," Jason reminded her.

"I know. I-I'm performing in it."

Oh gosh, should I have told him that? Should I have left it a surprise?

"You're performing? Then why on Earth did you lock yourself in the bathroom? Shouldn't you be rehearsing?"

OH. MY. GOD.

*headdesk*

Okay, I don't have a desk, but if I did my head would be on it.

SERIOUSLY?

"Because you haven't left me alone ALL day! Not that I don't enjoy your company, but I can't make the song a surprise if you keep showing up when I try to rehearse."

"Well, why didn't you just tell me that? I would have backed off if I knew you were working on a song for the Beach Jam."

*headdesk*

Why didn't I think of that?

"Okay, can I be left alone to rehearse?"

"Absolutely. Can you come out so I can at least see you before I leave?"

"Deal."

Be back later. After I talk to Jason for a bit and rehearse.

6:45 PM

I'm as rehearsed as I can be! Oh my goodness.

I'm the second performer! SECOND!

Okay, okay, I…have to go. I can't put together sentences right now.

Can't. Nope.

Later.

9:45 PM

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!

I…what…how…um

WHAT THE WORLD!

I don't…how do I…AHHH!

Hi, Lottie. Caitlyn isn't quite here right now.

Let me fill you in.

SHE WON THE JAM!

Oh, and hi…I'm Jason. I don't think we've met.

She blew everyone away! And I mean everyone.

Tess was glaring. So you know she was blown away.

And I think I was the MOST blown away. Not because of how talented Caity was…

Because let's face it…how could anyone NOT see she was insanely talented?

but because of the actual song.

I've been singing it in my head all night long.

Well, I hope you don't mind if I fall asleep on your shoulder,
Now turn out the lights and let the night begin.
And I hope it's alright if you're still mine when we're older,
Cause I wont spend another day wondering what might have been.

It's very hard to explain how those lyrics make me feel.

I would like to explain it to Caity, but she's sort of in shock right now.

She's having trouble talking. It's pretty adorable. *clears throat*

I…just wrote that in her diary. CRAP.

Should I mark it out? Why am I asking a book?

Okay, it's very hard NOT to write down everything you're thinking when you've got a pen in your hand a diary in front of you. No wonder Caity's addicted to this thing.

She's jumping up and down and screaming with Mitchie right now. I need her to calm down for a moment…so that I can talk to her.

And here she comes…um, yeah. Lottie…you're gonna have to hide.

11:30 PM

Um…my face is red. I'm blushing. ME. Blushing. For TWO reasons.

1. I just read Jason's entry in my diary from earlier. (3)

2. Jason and I had a talk…THE talk.

So, obviously, I couldn't think straight earlier which is why Jason took my diary and said he would update you for me. And that's apparently when he wrote what he did.

But then…I finally calmed down enough to talk to him.

We went down to the pier, and sat on the edge. I didn't know what he was going to say, but I knew what I was going to say. I was going to tell him exactly how I felt. I was not going to chicken out!

Only, Jason beat me to it, haha.

We sat in silence for a long time. I guess, like me, Jason was trying to find the words.

"So, I loved your song."

"Thanks."

"I can't get it out of my head."

"Neither can I."

"It made me realize something."

"What's that?"

"That I can't put this off anymore."

"Put off…what?"

You what he did next, Lottie? Do you?

HE KISSED ME. KISSED ME!

And it was niiiiice.

Okay, way better than nice!

JASON GREEN KISSED ME!

Oh my goodness.

And then he said…

"You should date me."

Hee hee. He's adorable.

"Yes, Jason, I think I should."

We sat on the pier and held hands. I love his hands. I think I've said this before. His calluses are sexy.

"How long have you—"

"Liked you?" Jason gave me this look as if it should be obvious. "Caity, I've liked you since I met you. How could I not?"

HE'S LIKED ME SINCE HE MET ME!

Why am I so oblivious? WHY? All this time I thought it wasn't possible…WHILE HE WAS PINING AWAY.

"What about you?"

"Since we met at the wrap party."

"So, we've liked each other this whole time, and we've wasted half a month hiding it?"

"Yep."

"We're dumb."

"Agreed."

"I'm going to kiss you again."

I laughed at that. He said it so matter of factly. "Making up for lost time, Jase?"

He didn't bother answering me. He just swooped in for another kiss.

*sigh*

BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

Seriously, how will the rest of the summer top this day?

Answer: It won't. It can't!

We talked for a while longer and then he walked me back to my cabin. Everyone else is already asleep so I won't wake them to tell them what happened. I'll have time in the morning.

This summer has already been the best summer of my life, and I have a feeling it's only going to get better.

Caitlyn Secret #8: Before we came back to my cabin we stopped by Connect Three's, and guess who I saw writing in a diary? Nate. Haha. Nate has a diary. I just might blackmail him into letting me read it. (If only because it would drive him crazy.)