A/N: Okay, so that first kiss is not very descriptive, I know. just think of it is preliminaries. I have a feeling there might be more kissing on the way... Please don't hesitate to review!
1.
They stay behind, Charles (she uses his first name now she knows what she does to him, who she is to him) lets Thomas be in charge. A taste of what's to come. But there is work to be done, ledgers to tally, stock to be counted and she calmly raises up from her seat and leans over to kiss him. Like she has seen her mother do countless times when things were still good, before the shouting and the sound of heavy boots and she remembers those good times, times when there was laughter and happiness.
Kissing him like this - a spur of the moment thing - cannot leave him in doubt of her feelings for him. He feels the same way, it is in the way his lips push back, linger.
She is not just a woman who entices him, not someone he is comfortable with. They've been through war and garden parties - though don't they sometimes prove to be a war in their own way? - and she knows, they both know:
They belong together.
Everything is going to be alright.
2.
Seeing her lean over to him and kiss him like that, as if this has been common practice for years, makes Anna wonder if she has been wrong after all. Maybe the pair of them have had this thing between them for a long time. Much longer than this evening, but she has not felt the storm brewing before, has only seen longing glances, heard dismissive phrases.
The kiss seals it.
She cannot wait to tell John about it.
It's the best news they've had in months.
3.
She doesn't need a maid to help her change. She can pull the dress over her head carefully, hang it on the waiting hanger to air. She only wore it to dinner, it shan't be soiled. Her hair is short and the curls only require a silk scarf to be kept in place during the night.
She has no trouble getting in her night gown.
Indeed, her trouble is that she can't get anyone to take it off for her.
The sigh she heaves is to be heard all through the corridor. She doesn't want to go back into the room. Mary and Mama are talking about the babies. About nannies and the responsibility that comes with motherhood. Rubbing her nose in failure - she feels the loss of Anthony dreadfully, but cannot speak of it - making her feel unworthy and unwanted. Mama perhaps is just making conversation, but between the delicate done up long hair and the mauve ensemble, Mary manages to throw her one smirk after the other, one barb after the other.
She has excused herself for a moment. No-one really paid any attention. Since they have been having their dinners 'en famille', everyone seems to flock together. Except for her. There is not really a place for daughters who get jilted at the altar and then try to find something to make of their lives.
The sound of voices waft up from the stairs. The melodic voice of Mrs Hughes, the soft rumbling of Carson. Carson who prefers Mary over her, had preferred Sybil over her. Mrs Hughes who doesn't like Mary, who walked around with red-rimmed eyes when Sybil died. Who liked her too, who finds time for a kind word, who doesn't walk away when she needs someone who will hear her.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"How could I not be sure, you daft man." The answer comes in the comforting lilt. The sound of late nights, curled up on a chair, nursing a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Listening to fairy tales and myths from the Highlands.
"You kiss me once and it's daft man..."
Kiss? Mrs Hughes kissed Carson? She tilts her head, trying to hear more.
"I kissed you once. You kissed me back."
"I did not." A tone never to be heard in the drawing room, happiness so unlike the butler.
He is leaving soon. The house will be different without him. He is more part of the house than the furniture.
"Stand still... Here..." Then there are no voices, only the rustling of skirts, a contented sigh. The sound of a couple kissing and then breaking apart.
"You daft man..." The words are not what she means, Edith knows, even recalls it. "Someone might see us."
"I don't know if I'd mind." He replies.
