Chapter 7
Nicci watched as Kahlan quickly disappeared into the woods, being swallowed up by the darkness of the trees. She struggled with whether or not to follow her. As sick as she was with the baby, Nicci was worried about her being by herself. Not to mention, one never knew what could be in these woods or what lived in these mountains.
But she knew that Kahlan was capable of handling herself even without her touch of confession. She just couldn't understand why she was so upset about discovering she was with child. The very thought of carrying Richard's child made Nicci's heart leap in her chest, the idea making her warm with the desire that beat inside of her for the Seeker.
She wanted nothing more than to be with him, but she knew that would never happen. She still wrestled with the love that seemed to grow stronger no matter how hard she tried to subdue it. She truly wished that she didn't love Richard so deeply and yet she never wanted anything more.
Shaking her head against thoughts of him, Nicci knelt down and began unpacking her things. She should have gone after Kahlan, should have stopped her or insisted that she go along with her. She knew that Richard would be upset with her for not going after her.
"Where's Kahlan?"
Nicci looked up to find Richard entering the clearing, a look of growing concern on his face. "She went for a walk," she cautiously replied, not sure how to answer him. Things were a little tenuous between her and Kahlan as it was. She didn't want to upset Kahlan or betray her, but she knew she couldn't keep anything from Richard either.
"Alone?"
The irritation in the Seeker's voice made her stomach churn. "She was upset, Richard. She just wanted to be alone for a little while," she admitted as she stood to her feet.
"What did you say to her, Nicci?" he demanded as he moved towards her, his anger beginning to rise.
"It's not what you think," Nicci cautioned as she came to stand before him. "We didn't have an argument or anything."
"What happened between you?"
"You just need to talk to Kahlan," she insisted, placing a calming hand on his arm. "She went that way. She said she wanted to be alone for a while, but you need to talk to her, Richard. I don't understand why she's upset."
Richard stared at her for a long moment, trying to rein in his worry before finally turning to go after his wife, fearful of what could be wrong with her.
XXX
Wandering through the darkening woods, Kahlan couldn't stop the tears that rolled down her face, the heartache that warred inside of her too much to bear. Indescribable joy vied with the pain of no longer possessing her magic as she wandered aimlessly around trees and thick underbrush.
She knew that Richard would be worried about her when he returned to find her gone, but she just had to get away for a little bit, try to process the news. She shouldn't be so upset about having another baby with Richard. She should be flooded with nothing but pure joy, but instead she felt guilt and anguish.
She understood the ramifications of carrying this baby right now. It hit her so hard it nearly took all of the air from her lungs, making her knees suddenly weak.
No Confessor had ever given birth to a baby without the magic of confession. It was unheard of. Confessors procreated in order to carry on the line of Confessors, but that line had just abruptly ended with Paige and Priya. The grief that she felt was overwhelming as she wept. She felt as though she had just failed her ancestors. It had been her duty to bear daughters to continue her kind and she no longer was able to do that.
Now, Paige and Priya would have to carry on the heritage that she no longer could.
Guilt over being upset about carrying Richard's child tore at her heart while at the same time stirring her soul, reminding her once more of the love that bound them together as one. Of course they would love their daughter. Their baby had been created by the two of them, possessing qualities from each of them. It was just difficult to process the thought of having a daughter right now with all the chaos surrounding and enveloping her.
The thought made her more nauseous as she finally came to a stop at the edge of a river, unable to go any further. She dropped to her knees, tears slipping down her cheeks. She felt as though her whole world was crashing down around her.
She knew that there were worse things in life than having to live without her magic, but she had been the last living Confessor and she had allowed her magic to be taken from her. She should have done things differently when Darken Rahl had taken over the Palace. She should've fought harder, done something to keep him from stealing a piece of herself.
Picking his way through the dense woods, Richard could hardly calm his pounding heart as he followed Kahlan's trail. Something was wrong, something that he didn't understand yet. He could feel it deep in his soul, fear settling into his core.
Finally reaching the edge of the woods, he spotted the reason his heart beat kneeling by the river, her head bowed as she softly cried. The sun was setting behind the mountains, casting pastel shades of light over everything in its reach, creating a soft glow around her.
Swallowing hard, Richard came to a stop a few feet away from her. "Kahlan…"
His heart constricted as her head fell even further at the sound of his voice, her shoulders slumping. He slowly made his way to her, coming around to stand before her. He dropped to his knees, his hands finding her face and forcing her to look up at him.
His tongue felt thick, his heart breaking as he stared into her blue eyes, eyes that were swimming with so many different emotions at that moment that he couldn't decipher them all at once.
"Kahlan, what's wrong? What happened?"
Kahlan bit her bottom lip in an attempt to keep it from trembling. She had imagined this moment so much differently than this. He had already known that she was carrying twins when he had returned to her before. She had imagined something so romantic, something special and intimate when she surprised him with the joyous news that she was carrying his child again.
This was none of those things.
Instead of overwhelming joy, she felt suffocating guilt.
Drawing a shuddering breath, Kahlan gazed into his brown eyes that were full of so much worry and love at that moment. "We're going to have another baby," she softly told him.
"What?"
Kahlan watched as fear swiftly melted into relief and pure joy right before her very eyes. Without a word, he kissed her, his love for her so fierce that it stole her very breath.
His lungs burning for air, Richard was finally forced to pull back. He pressed his forehead against hers. He just couldn't let go of her at that moment, needing to touch her as much as he possibly could right then. "I love you…so much, Kahlan," he gently breathed against her face, his voice filled with so much emotion.
"Forever, my Richard," she whispered, unable to find her voice.
His thumb swept across her cheek, capturing a tear before it could fall any further. He kissed her again, joy flooding his heart.
"I don't understand, Kahlan. Why are you so upset?" he asked as his eyes roamed over her face, searching for some sort of clue as to the cause of her pain.
"Richard, our baby…she won't be a Confessor."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't have my Confessor's magic any more, Richard," she shook her head. "Nicci said I was two months along. She was created after I lost my magic."
Richard stared at her as her tears fell faster, anguish filling her face and attempting to steal the joy that came with the miracle of having another baby. This was supposed to be a special moment shared between lovers, not a source of grief.
"Kahlan, none of that matters. The only thing that matters to me is that she is healthy. We will love her no matter what," he firmly told her. "She is going to be perfect and beautiful in every way just like her mother. And even if she isn't a Confessor, we're going to love her and raise her just like Paige and Priya."
"I know," she softly replied with a shuddering gasp as she looked into those eyes that warmed her very soul. "I'm…so sorry, Richard. I am truly thrilled to be carrying your child again. It's just difficult knowing that I failed the Confessors that came before me."
"You have failed no one, Kahlan," he adamantly said, conviction permeating his words. "You are an amazing woman, one that I am so proud to be able to call my wife, the mother of my daughters. You've made me the happiest man on earth.
"You've given me unconditional love and support, two beautiful daughters, and now we're going to have another one. Do you know how truly amazing that is?"
Kahlan nodded softly, the corners of her lips beginning to curl into a small smile with his excitement. "I love you, Richard. You're my whole world…you and our daughters. I just want her to be perfect like Paige and Priya."
"She will be."
Richard tilted his head, capturing her lips and kissing her deeply. The love that consumed his heart was rapidly overwhelming him, setting his blood on fire as he found the laces of her dress. He quickly pushed the material from her body, his need to fill her, to feel her wet warmth sheathing him intensifying with every shared breath.
He kissed his way along her cheek, erasing her tears with his lips as his fingers worked the stays of her corset. Kahlan gasped at the feel of his fingers roughened by his sword as he gently caressed her skin, the passion behind his kisses sweeping her up in his love and washing away her anguish.
This love was beyond anything that she'd ever known. It was all-encompassing, consuming her heart, body and soul. Everything that she had, everything that she was or ever would be belonged to him and him alone.
Kahlan abruptly removed his vest, his shirt quickly following before she crushed her lips against his once more. He groaned as her fingernails grazed over his chest, teasing him and fueling his arousal as she followed the paths of his muscles that she had previously explored. It was a journey that she loved to take every time they were together.
Kahlan suddenly found herself on her back looking up at the stars just beginning to shine in the darkening sky. She tilted her head to find her husband's powerful form rising up on his knees before her as he removed his sword and untied the laces of his breeches.
His hands snaked up her skirt, causing her to shiver as he bunched the material up around her waist, stroking her thighs before stripping her of her shorts. The heated look of desire that darkened his brown eyes sent tingles of arousal surging through her body.
Leaning down, Kahlan met him half-way, greeting him in an open-mouthed kiss as tongues battled for control, her arms wrapping around his neck and drawing him closer. He captured her sharp gasp with his mouth as he entered her, his arms enveloping her and holding her against him, lifting her back up off the grass as he began to make love to her. She clutched him tightly, clawing at his back as he delved deeper into her heat, expressing his love for her with his whole body.
She panted hotly against his throat, letting him know how much he was pleasuring her with her repeated gasps and groans as he drove deeper and deeper. Her lips found his pulse point, her teeth raking against it before soothing it with her tongue, eliciting a throaty growl from her husband as he pressed his forehead moistened with sweat against her shoulder.
His breath came out in rapid hot blasts against her skin, her name a sultry moan as he pulled her unbelievably closer still. She fisted his hair, tugging on it as her lips sought out his ear. She suddenly released the lobe with a cry of ecstasy as she came, her body trembling with his final thrusts before he found his own release within her.
Richard held her tightly against him, their bodies moist, their hearts thundering in unison as he gently lowered her back down in the grass. Refastening his breeches, he laid down beside her, pulling her against him. The feel of her perfect form in his arms, her breasts pressed against his side caused a flood of warmth to flow through him.
Life could never be better than it was with her.
"We're going to have a baby, Kahlan," he told her as if he was the one to inform her of the news.
"I know," she replied with a soft chuckle. "I have the nausea to prove it."
"Are you alright? I shouldn't have made love to you. I was just so overwhelmed with how much I love you, the thought of having another baby with you."
"No, I'm fine now. I wanted you to make love to me. There's nothing more perfect than celebrating a special moment together like this," she told him, pressing her lips to his jaw. "It is what got us into this situation in the first place, you know."
"I love getting you into this 'situation'. There is nothing that I love more than I love you…making love with you, creating a new life with you," he murmured, pressing his lips against her forehead.
"I love you too, Richard."
"Is there anything that you need?"
"No…just you," she softly smiled as her hand found his cheek. "All I've ever needed is you."
Meeting his eyes once more, Kahlan felt a flutter beneath her breast with the intensity of the love permeating those brown orbs that she loved so much. Spirits, what she wouldn't do for this man.
"How did you not know that you were with child?" he suddenly wondered, his fingers slowly raking through her hair.
"I thought that I was just adjusting to not having my magic any longer. Besides, with everything that's happened, I've been too preoccupied to think of anything else. I don't have my magic any more so I couldn't feel her inside of me like I could with Paige and Priya. It's so hard to believe it's really true."
"I'm sorry, Kahlan," he apologized. "I know losing your magic has affected you deeply, but we're going to get it back for you."
"Even if you did, it'd be too dangerous to restore my magic while carrying the baby," she told him, closing her eyes against the horror of losing their child.
"Maybe Zedd or Nicci can cast a spell to protect the baby so you can regain your magic."
"I won't risk the baby over something like that. Besides, they have to find the Quillian first and we don't even know if it can be found."
"Well, we'll know soon enough. I'm taking you home first thing in the morning."
"No, I want to go to Kandahar with you, Richard. I'll still be with child whether I'm in Kandahar or at the People's Palace so there's no point in returning home over this."
He frowned at her, rolling onto his side to face her as he contemplated what to do. He didn't want to risk Kahlan's health or that of the baby's for a needless trip when Sovereign Aerona could just as easily come to the People's Palace.
"I don't know, Kahlan. Nothing is more important to me than you and our girls. I won't risk my life with you for anything, not even the throne of D'Hara," he said as he brushed her hair over her shoulder, his hand cupping the back of her neck.
"It'll be fine, Richard," she insisted. "It's just for a few days. Besides, we'll be there the day after tomorrow."
Richard sighed deeply as he stared into the blue eyes that possessed his soul. He could deny her nothing even despite the fear that silently tugged at his heart. "Fine," he relented. "You win."
"I always do," she whispered with a grin as she pressed her lips to his. "I promise to make it worth your while."
Richard chuckled softly, loving her flirtatious side. Her fiery passion for him never ceased to drive him wild. "You always do," he murmured against her lips, his hand slipping further up into her hair as he pulled her flush against him. "Why do you think I let you win?"
Kahlan smiled in triumph as she drew back to look into his eyes for a long moment, her hand caressing his cheek as she suddenly grew serious again. Despite all the chaos that seemed to envelop them, they would always have this.
"I never thought I'd have a baby who would be born without the touch of confession," she softly admitted. "I feel so lost."
"You'll never be lost as long as I'm here, Kahlan," he promised her. "We are going to have a beautiful baby girl, one that we will love just as much as Paige and Priya and all the other little girls that we're going to have someday."
"How many are you planning on having?" she lightly laughed.
"Only as many as you want. I hate to see you sick like this. I know that being with child isn't easy for you."
"It's worth it just to watch you holding and taking care of our daughters, to see the love and pride in your eyes," she said. "Besides, it's just the first three months that are the worse."
"And I vividly remember how insatiable you were after that," he huskily replied as he moved over her, carefully pinning her to the ground. "I thought you were going to kill me."
"You loved every moment of it and you know it. You were more than happy and willing to participate every time if I remember correctly," she replied, her lips softly teasing his, brushing kisses and tugging on his bottom lip that only served to ignite his need once again.
"I was just performing my husbandly duties. It was the least I could for the woman who was carrying my daughters," he said with a mischievous smile that stirred her soul.
"Well, I think your husbandly duties are about to be required again," she whispered so seductively it caused shivers to race up his spine.
With a low growl, Richard captured her lips, bracing himself with his forearms as he prepared to take her all over again.
