**Disclaimer: "Twilight" and the beloved characters appearing throughout the saga are the brilliant creations of author Stephenie Meyer. This is strictly fanfic, and I do not nor will I ever seek monetary gain for the creative expression presented on this website. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N: Saving commentary for the end…
BPOV
Edward had fallen behind the group as we made our way up the steps of the chapel. Emmett and Rosalie had slipped through the double doors followed soon after by Jasper and…Alice?
Hmm…that's interesting. I haven't seen Jasper smile like that since the last time Jessica dropped her pencil in front of his seat in the cafeteria. I thought he might blow a gasket staring at her pert little ass in his face.
I suddenly found myself stopping dead in my tracks. I just couldn't fight the urge that had been building within me since the testosterone-driven exchange outside the boys' dormitory.
What the hell was that, anyway? Did he somehow think in that little brain of his that I needed his protection from Jacob? Did he think I actually wanted it? I have news for him. I sure as hell fucking don't.
I hesitated at first, then looked over my shoulder and saw Edward had apparently broken off from us near the center of the quad. He stood below an old oak, kicking the bottom of the trunk and looking completely despondent.
Oh, for fuck's sake…
What had happened to the asshole I'd met the previous morning?
Where did that idiot who made me fail my history test disappear to?
Why the fuck was I having this conversation with myself?
Standing in the middle of the quad, his expression held an air of familiarity. His eyes were dull, taking on a hue just as dreary as the atmosphere around Forks. A sharp chill shot up my spine. I recognized that look. It was a look I'd seen one too many times in my own mirror. A look of frustration. Of self-criticism. Of…pain.
I turned back and faced the ugly, brown door leading into the chapel and sighed. His fucked up issues weren't my problem. I didn't want them to become my problem. I didn't want to have anything to do with him. I grasped the rusty, metal handle, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to pull the door open.
Shit Bella! Just open the fucking door! Don't let him draw you in…just…don't…
I looked back over my shoulder. Edward's hands were thrust deep in the pockets of his grey wool trench coat. He'd quit kicking the poor, defenseless tree and was now pacing slowly back and forth across the grass. I sighed again. As much as I hated him, I couldn't bring myself to leave him out in the cold. Alone. Freezing. And looking totally fucking helpless. Vulnerable…and just absolutely…sad?
Dammit!! I hate when my fucking conscience gets the better of me. Damn that stupid fucking sexually frustrated, completely outlandish dream. Damn fucking prying and persistent roommates, and unwanted displays of chivalry. God, just strike me dead now…please?
I let go of the door handle and turned around, reluctantly making my way back down the steps and across the quad toward Edward. Whatever hatred I'd held for him yesterday was quickly diminishing into a severely strong dislike for the guy. Yeah, I seriously disliked the bastard…after all, he was about to make me late. Again. Ugh!
"Hey," I called as I walked carefully across the cobblestone walkway, trying to avoid the slushy mess left over from the now melting snow. "Were you planning on coming to chapel today? Because I don't recall getting an email that it was cancelled."
Edward stopped pacing. His thick, dark brows gathered in confusion. "Are you one of God's truancy officers or something?" he shot back.
I tilted my head to the side and flipped my hair over my shoulder.
What the fuck was that? I never did that! Fucking Jessica Stanley was famous for that kind of pouty, girlish display. Not me!
"N-no," I stammered, trying to regain my composure. "But I'll be damned if I'm going to walk into Dean Stanley's office later and try to explain why you didn't show up this morning."
"And this concerns you because…" Edward said as he removed his hands from his pockets, stepping forward and crossing them over his chest.
Because Jacob is MY problem, not yours? Because you're the fucking idiot who had to make a scene this morning? Because I'm fucking mental?
His eyes widened, and I forced my own not to make contact. I quickly looked off into the distance, focusing on the lacrosse field scoreboard. The last thing I needed was to get lost in those fucking poisonous green pools…again. As it was, I'd already seemed to be experiencing a serious lack in judgment this morning. The last thing I needed was for one solitary glance in the wrong direction to push me further over the edge of sanity.
"Because like it or not," I said, avoiding his penetrating gaze. "I'm stuck escorting your ass around campus until next Wednesday. Trust me, there are a thousand other things I'd rather be doing."
Like pulling my fingernails out one by one? Getting a bikini wax perhaps?
Edward smirked. "Well please, by all means. Don't let me stop you. What do you need? A note or something?"
I mustered up whatever defenses I could, and I allowed myself to glare up at him . I wasn't about to let his little tantrum get me into a shitload of hot water with Stanley. I had enough to deal with already. Getting stuck in another week of detention was not something I wanted to add to the list.
"You know what?" he said suddenly. "I don't really fucking care. Getting you in trouble is the last thing I'm worried about."
His eyes were ice cold as he stared back at me. Empty. And as much as I hated to admit it, it bothered the shit out of me that I couldn't look away. The second bell rang as the last of the morning stragglers ran past us. Shit. Now we were late.
Edward grumbled something I couldn't hear, then turned and started walking briskly across the soggy grass toward the lacrosse field.
"Where the hell are you going?" I yelled after him. He just kept walking. He didn't even fucking flinch. "Hey!"
Crap!
It wasn't like I could just waltz into chapel now and expect Dean Stanley to look the other way while I snuck down the aisle to my seat. Especially if he noticed that Edward wasn't there either. If he'd gone in with me, at least I'd have an excuse. Showing him something important on the activities board, or the way to the boys bathroom on the opposite side of campus so he could jerk off before class.
FUCK! Why do guys have to be so fucking mental?
I took a deep breath. I had no other options. It was either chase after Edward and attempt to salvage my day, or look like and idiot and risk even further punishment for yet another tardy on my permanent record. Releasing a low, guttural growl, I squared my shoulders back, hoisted my bag higher on my arm, and started to jog after the jerk.
I found myself running double-time in an attempt to keep up with his wide strides across the lawn. My shoes splashed through the squishy muck left over by the snow. I honestly couldn't believe I was doing this. What the hell was the point?
I should just march right up the stairs and take what's coming. This is utterly ridiculous. He's not worth all this trouble.
Oh yeah? Then why aren't you turning your pathetic little ass around?
Shut up!
No, you shut up!
God, I seriously needed therapy. These arguments with my subconscious were becoming way too frequent.
"Edward," I panted as I tried to close the distance between us. It's called a gym, Bella. Use it once in awhile. "Wait a minute. Edward! Will you just fucking slow down for a second? Jesus!"
He slowed as I finally caught up to him, then turned fiercely to face me. I clutched my chest, out of breath and seriously ready to kick his fucking ass for making me run through the mud. Now my shoes and socks were sopping wet. My feet were freezing, and I was sweating profusely under my heavy winter coat. Not exactly a good combination in this frigid weather.
After a moment, I looked up at him and my breath hitched. Was he…laughing? He was fucking…laughing!?! I trudged through the soggy, grimy mud after his sorry ass…in brand new, not-yet-broken-in pair of shoes no less…and he was laughing at me!!
"And what the hell is so damn funny?" I hissed, shaking clumps of mud and wet grass off my Mary Janes.
"You know," he said, still laughing and gesturing down to my shoes. "If you're planning on trying out for track and field, you might want to get a decent pair of sneakers."
I was hardly amused. "Yeah, well you didn't have to run off like a fucking sullen infant."
"Yeah, well," he said, running his hand through his already mussed bronze curls. "I'm just trying to live up to your assessment. What was it you called me yesterday? Puerile?"
"And you're doing a damn good job of proving me right this morning," I smirked. "Where the hell are you going anyway?"
Edward pursed his lips, scanning the grounds. "If you really want to know, I was about to take off in Alice's car. But as luck would have it, I don't have the fucking keys and I'm not about to go retrieve them from her bag. So I guess I'll have to find other means of transportation."
"Good luck with that," I snapped. "The nearest bus stop is about five miles from campus."
"Hmm," he said, rubbing the little dimple in his chin. "Well, Miss Swan. Do you have a car?"
"What?" I asked, confusion momentarily replacing the rage that had built up inside me. "What do you mean, do I have a car?"
Edward raised an eyebrow. "You know, a car? Beep beep? Vroom vroom?"
"Yes, asshole," I fumed. "I know what a car is."
He continued to look at me, and what he was actually asking finally registered in my head. I took a step back. No fucking way! He didn't just ask me that.
"You can't be serious," I said. I couldn't suppress the sarcastic chuckle escaping from my throat. "You don't really think I'm going to let you borrow mine!" It was common knowledge to those that knew me. No one…and I mean NO ONE…drove my baby but ME.
Edward rolled his eyes. "Just forget it. I'll figure something else out."
He began to walk away, and I just knew I was about to do something stupid.
Fuck! Fucking stubborn, idiotic, pain in the ass…beautiful, strong, and handsome…STOP IT NOW!!
"Shit! Edward," I said. Fuck fuckity fuck. Don't do it Bella. Don't even fucking say what you're about to say. "Just…wait a minute."
He turned to me, hoisting his backpack up on his shoulder, a look of impatience strewn across his face. "What?"
"I can't believe I'm about to fucking do this," I sighed deeply and shook my head. "I mean, it's not like I feel that I owe you any fucking favors. But…" I hesitated. I really didn't have a choice. "If you really want to get off campus that bad, I guess…I can drive you…wherever…I guess."
Edward stared at me dumbfounded for a moment. I half expected him to tell me to go to hell. At least, that's what I would have done if I were in his shoes. His weather-sealed and perfectly dry shoes…asshole! I was seriously considering retracting my offer when he squinted at me skeptically.
"Why?" he asked.
Why? Because I'm fucking losing my sanity. That's why.
I shrugged. "Well, to be honest, it's not like I have much of an option now. We're already late anyway. And besides that, I'd rather not have to testify as a witness to grand theft auto."
"Funny," he smirked. "Were you up all night thinking of that one?"
I was genuinely growing tired of this. I was annoyed, sleep-deprived, freezing cold, and really not in the mood to go ten rounds with Mr. Snappy. And if we were going to escape campus, we had to do it soon. Preferably before chapel ended.
"Look," I sighed. "You can take the offer, or leave it. But I'm not about to stand here all day waiting for you to make up your mind."
Edward pursed his lips and looked away as the seconds ticked slowly by. When his eyes met mine again, he mustered a sly grin. "Ok, princess. Since I don't seem to have much of a choice, I suppose it'll have to suffice."
"Well don't look so excited. It's not like I'm thrilled about the idea either. But it's a hell of a lot more appealing than having to spend three Saturday's in a row sharing recycling duty with one another."
The thought of digging through trashcans, sifting through tons of garbage, and shoveling compost was nauseating enough. And this school definitely produced its share of garbage. Add Edward to the equation and it simply was not something I was willing to put myself through.
"I see your point," he said, crinkling his nose a bit.
Aww…that was cute. No…no it wasn't.
"After you." Edward said, extending his arm in the direction of the parking lot.
I scanned our surroundings, looking for any witnesses to my newly-acquired insanity. This place was a huge gossip mill, and I really didn't want to hear my name and Edward's in the same sentence by Jessica and her homing pigeons.
As I walked past him, I found myself silently muttering a string of obscenities like a Tourette's patient on a really bad day. God, how I wanted to rip that arm off and shove it up his ass.
***
A few minutes later, after stalking our way across campus like two Mission Impossible wannabes, we were speeding down the one-ten toward the coast. My rage, surprisingly, had subsided just enough to allow me to focus on the road. I had to say, driving always had a somewhat calming effect on my nerves. Especially going 95 mph in a 55 mph zone.
Edward hadn't voiced a preference as to exactly where he'd wanted to go, so I took it upon myself to drive to the only place I knew of that was both far away from Marcus and posed no risk of running into anyone that might turn us in. Thank God Emmett had shown me the way. I had a horrible sense of direction, and most likely would have found myself in Alaska before long.
I knew Rose would most likely cover for me. She always made up some lame story about how I'd woken up with a headache or a bad case of PMS. I wonder if they'd ever catch on to the fact that last spring I had my period a total of eight times in two months. Anyway, I expected she'd want details of this little outing as payment. I cringed. I'd never live this one down.
This wasn't exactly the first time I'd fled from campus. Of course, this was definitely the first time I'd had an accomplice. Rose did a lot of naughty things, but I had to hand it to her. She never missed class. I wasn't really sure what excuse Edward planned to concoct, but whatever it was I hoped he was smart enough to keep my name out of it.
I glanced out of the corner of my eye at him. His whole body was turned toward the window, just staring out at the green landscape as it blurred past. I had to admit, I was curious as to what he might be thinking. I mean, he'd been an asshole yesterday. But something about his attitude today really bugged the shit out of me.
His whole demeanor had done a complete one-eighty overnight. Yesterday, he'd been almost playful in his attempts to piss me off. But today…he was just different somehow. Edgier. Angrier. I couldn't imagine what had changed, but somehow I sensed that his anger wasn't solely directed at me. And he'd fucking defended me! What the hell brought that on?
I turned my focus back on the road. Why the hell did I care? It wasn't like he was my friend or anything. I didn't even know the guy. I mean, given the reputation that preceded him, he could be a serial killer like his dad for all I knew.
Great, Bella. Now's a really good time to be considering the consequences of your impulsiveness. Driving through the wet, creepy forest with Ted Bundy in your car. Really smart.
Edward shifted in his seat, and my body tensed. My hands clenched around the steering wheel, and I damn near ran off the road. He looked over at me, then adjusted his seatbelt.
That's right, Bella. Run up a tree. Kill yourself before the big bad monster eats you.
God, I was being so stupid.
"Sorry," I said nervously. "The road's a bit slippery."
Edward nodded, then turned back toward the window. I wanted to kick myself. This had to be the stupidest fucking thing I'd ever done. Edward just knew I was going to cave. And I let it happen. Damn you, Isabella Swan and your fucking naivety.
"Do you always drive this fast?" he suddenly asked. I had to admit, hearing his musical voice breaking through the silence scared me even more than his sudden movements. I continued to focus on the road as my hands gripped the steering wheel.
Do not drive into a ditch. Do not drive into the ditch.
I shrugged. "A residual habit from learning to drive in Florida." Ted Bundy was from Florida. Did you know that? Yup. T-H-E-R-A-P-Y!
"Hmm," he pondered. "I thought only the gray hairs drove like idiots down there. Albeit, slower I would assume."
Now he was telling me to slow down? He had some fucking nerve. I nudged the gas pedal a little further, but only enough that he'd feel the difference. Take that, grandpa!
"You know, I could turn this car around and haul your ass back to school."
"You could," he sang. "But I doubt you would."
"Don't tempt me," I hissed. "And don't criticize my driving skills. If there's one thing I hate more than anything, it's side seat drivers."
I glanced over at Edward, and he smiled a sly little grin. "I'll make a note of that."
He turned toward me again, and this time I didn't react. I figured if he'd wanted to kill me, he would have tried by now. We were well into the Quileute forest. Plenty of good places to hide a body. Jesus, you are so fucking morbid Bella. Get a grip already. The guy may be deadly, but he's not a fucking murderer.
"Honestly," Edward said. "I really hadn't planned to criticize your driving. It just kind of slipped out."
"Oh," I said, my voice oozing sarcasm. "Just slipped out, huh?"
"No, really. I just think you should slow down and take in the beauty."
I couldn't help but laugh. Is this guy for real? Beauty? In Forks? What the hell was he smoking?
"What beauty?" I scoffed. "It's fucking cold and wet and…green! Everywhere!"
"And peaceful and quiet and…" His face was almost whimsical as he said the words. Like we were driving through the freaking land of Oz. Christ. I had freakin' Dorothy Gale in my car! Ok, maybe not her. I couldn't imagine the ruby slippers. Maybe the scarecrow or the tin-man.
"And GREEN!"
"Hey," he scolded. "Green happens to be my favorite color."
Wow. What a surprise. More fucking green. Green trees. Green fucking Marcus uniforms. Beautiful, sparkling emerald green eyes…
Fuck Bella! Not that shit again!
"Yeah, well my favorite color is blue. I love blue. I miss blue."
"Did you know that you can tell a lot about a person from their favorite color?" Edward said as he watched the road pass in front of us.
"Actually, I never really gave it much thought," I shrugged. It wasn't like I read the Encyclopedia on Useless Information on a daily basis. Who the hell cares what your favorite color represents about your personality. Certainly not me.
"For instance, people who like the color green tend to be outspoken, highly social, refined, and civilized," he smiled proudly.
"Ahh," I mused. "Well, I can believe the outspoken part. But refined and civilized? No offense, but after this morning I'm more likely to believe in werewolves and vampires."
Edward ignored me and continued. "Now, those who favor blue have a tendency to be a bit inflexible in nature. They often worry about the most insignificant things and are highly suspicious of those around them." He grinned. "Especially greens."
"Very funny," I said, rolling my eyes. And then it hit me. "Hey, how come you only listed good traits for green and bad ones for blue? That's hardly fair."
Edward shrugged. "That's just how it is. Greens are awesome, and blues…well…" He glanced over at me. Blues are what? Come on Edward. Give me a reason to slap that shit eating grin off your face.
"You do realize I'm going to Google this later," I said.
"Google all you want, if Googling makes you feel a sense of worth," he sighed, lounging back in the passenger's seat, his hands behind his head. "You'll just have to admit I'm right. And I have a feeling that's something you don't want to do."
I glanced toward the side of the road, taking notice of the familiar wooden sign as we sped past. I slowed down as I pulled into the parking lot, bringing my sexy little red Audi RS4--thanks daddy dearest--to a skidding halt. I undid my seatbelt and quickly jumped out of the car, taking in a deep breath of the salty ocean breeze. It wasn't even close to the familiar scent of home with it's hints of pine and oak, but it soothed me nonetheless. Especially after this particular car ride.
We walked down toward the water, Edward following a short distance behind. This beach was worlds apart from just about everything I'd come to hate, and the only place in Washington that actually gave me a sense of freedom. During the warmer months when school was out of session, the place was usually packed to the brim with teenagers from Forks High School. But hardly anyone came here on a day like this, and especially not Marcus students. A few surfers every so often, but most of the time it stayed fairly quiet.
I turned around to face Edward, cracking a slight smile. Honestly, I couldn't help it. I always smiled when I was here. Ok, maybe not always. There had been many times I'd come here to cry my eyes out. But it definitely had been known to have the opposite effect on me. Sometimes…
"Welcome to La Push!" I said, sounding like a fucking tour guide.
"La Push?" he grimaced as he caught up to me. "What in the hell is a La Push?"
"This is La Push," I said, rolling my eyes and gesturing all around. "It's a beach, dumbass."
"Yes, I realize it's a beach," he sighed. "But the name…"
"It's French or something."
"Yeah, but what does it mean?"
"I don't know. I'm not fluent in French."
"Neither am I, but it would be a nice thing to know."
Jesus, who the hell cares? First color analysis, and now foreign languages. Just forget about the name and enjoy the freaking moment.
Giving up, I turned and began walking further up the beach to my favorite spot. It wasn't that much of a hike, but I took my sweet time getting there, taking in the beauty of the waves as they crashed upon the rocky shoreline. Hey, he wanted me to take in the scenery, so I was. I'd much rather get lost in the murky grays and subtle blues than his green wonderland anyway.
I finally made it to my little spot, and took my place on one of the sun-bleached, weatherworn tree trunks that I assumed had fallen years ago during some freak storm. I pulled my knees to my chest, closed my eyes and reveled for a moment in the sound of the pounding surf. I blocked everything else out, focusing my concentration on its soothing cadence.
This was my usual meditation when I came here. I would close my eyes and try to summon the sunshine and comforting warmth of home. Although my mind allowed glimpses of my former paradise to filter in, I could never hold on to them for more than a few seconds before the cold permeated my senses once again. Even so, I cherished every moment of bliss my memory provided.
And just as soon as I began to feel the memory of warmth envelop me…
"This isn't exactly what I imagine when I think of a beach," Edward blurted out as he sat down beside me on the cold, damp log.
Fuck me!!
I resisted the urge to scream, keeping my eyes closed and hoping that if I willed it just enough to happen, a freak tidal wave would come along and wash my unwelcome guest out to sea.
"I mean, don't get me wrong. It's nice. But not exactly what I envisioned."
"Not enough skin for you?" I smirked, trying to block him out as best I could. "Sorry to burst your hopes, but the Olympic Peninsula is hardly Miami, Florida. I'm sure you're used to the whole Miami Vice atmosphere where you come from. You know, drive bys and jewel heists and whatever else it is you people do, but…"
Edward sighed, sounding annoyed. "Look, Bella. Could you please do me a favor and just can it with the criminal stereotype bullshit? I'm hardly in the fucking mood for it this morning."
I opened my eyes as he stood up, hands again in his pockets. I suddenly remembered Jacob's searing comment about Edward this morning and once again felt the blood rushing to my cheeks.
As I continued to look at him, I began to notice the bluish-black circles under his eyes. He looked severely deprived of sleep and deathly pale. His face was contorted in such a way that he looked as if someone had punched him hard in the gut. How had I not noticed that earlier? Even worse, his expression took on the look of someone who had just been kicked numerous times in the stomach.
I felt a knot form in my throat.
"Edward, I didn't mean to…"
Yes, I had. I'd known what I was doing the whole time. I'd wanted to hurt him, regardless of how little he'd actually done to hurt me. I mean, I was pissed over getting a failing grade. One that I damn well knew I could afford with my straight-A average.
His anger was something else entirely. Something a lot worse than getting an F on a test I hadn't really studied for to begin with. I was hitting below the belt and I knew it. I felt sick. I was no fucking better than Jacob Black.
"I know what you think of me," he said, looking away toward the thick line of trees at the edge of the Quileute forest.
"Yeah," I said cautiously, my eyebrows arching. "I think you're an asshole, but..."
"Hell, everyone watches CNN these days ," he continued, ignoring my pathetic attempt to change the subject. "Sending us here had to be the worst idea my mother ever fucking had. And she's suppose to be the intelligent one in the family. I mean it's not like Alice and I really fit the mold for this place."
Edward was becoming more animated with every word. He picked up a large rock the size of a grapefruit and flung it toward the forest. It hit a small branch, which cracked in half and fell quickly to the ground. After witnessing his precision, I thought it best to keep my stupid two-cent comments to myself and just let him vent out his pent up aggression. I really didn't want that branch to suddenly become my head.
He suddenly turned toward me, his expression fierce and full of anger. I cowered under his scrutiny.
"Tell me, Bella. Do you watch CNN?" he asked, crossing his strong arms over his chest.
"I-I…try to avoid the news…as much as possible," I stammered nervously, looking away. "Why?"
"For weeks," he said. "Continuous fucking coverage. My father's mug shot was plastered all over every major news channel. The newspaper would arrive, and there it was staring me in the face the minute I woke up. Shit, I couldn't even buy a fucking Coke at the drugstore without being confronted with stupid tabloids saying shit like 'Chicago's Own Dr. Jekkyl/Mr. Hyde' or 'Move Over Gacy; Carlisle Cullen's in Town.' Fucking bullshit."
I glanced up at Edward, his expression twisting and contorting as he continued.
"I seriously lost it the first morning Alice and I arrived at school and were tackled by hundreds of reporters and photographers," he smirked. "All of them wanting an exclusive interviews with the children of the Morgan Park Monster. I nearly put one photographer in the ICU when he got up in Alice's face and ended up bashing her upside the head with his camera." He let out a halfhearted chuckle. "Yeah, good times."
My legs felt numb as I stood up and slowly made my way toward Edward.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I really…I just had no idea it was that bad."
"Yeah, well that's the tame version," he sighed. "Trust me. You don't even want me to go into detail about the hate mail, or the rumors that circulated about my father and his patients for months. You'd have nightmares for a fucking year."
I honestly didn't know what to say. I hadn't banked on this sudden outpouring of emotion. Save for what Rosalie had told me, I really didn't know much about the Cullen trial. I couldn't imagine what kind of pressure that must have put on Edward and his sister. But I could relate to one thing, even if my experiences were far less dramatic and utterly terrifying.
"My dad's in the news a lot more these days," I sighed.
Edward looked at me strangely. Yeah, like my fucking life bares any resemblance to his. He probably thinks I'm a self-absorbed moron.
But then, his expression softened. The corners of his mouth turned up into a half-grin. Seeing this, I decided to continue.
"You know he's on the short list for the Democratic VP nomination? It's fucking ridiculous."
"I think I heard something to that effect," he said.
"It was hard enough when he was elected to Congress," I said as we began walking up the beach. "Now I'm just waiting for the morning I walk out of the dorm and get pummeled by paparazzi. After all, it's an election year coming up. Kinda goes with the territory I guess."
Edward nodded, his expression softening a bit more from his previous rage. He still looked utterly exhausted, but also grateful for a change in subject.
"I'll probably have it a lot better than Rosalie. Her father is a shoe in for the Republican Presidential nomination. There's been talk about her and Jasper being assigned a special security detail. So I suppose as long as I stick with them, I can kind of dodge the publicity a little."
"You're father should insist on that for you," Edward said. "I mean, if you're really that worried about being hounded by the media. They can be rather brutal. Trust me, I know firsthand."
"I don't know," I shrugged. "I try to keep myself as unattached to my father's campaign as I can. I really hate politics." Hated. Loathed. Despised everything about it.
Edward thrust his hands in his pockets, then looked at me thoughtfully. "Yeah, but with your public image, you could really make a difference."
"Yeah right," I laughed. "I'm sure people would love to hear what I have to say. Trust me, I'm the last person that parents want their kids looking up to as a role model."
"Well, for what it's worth," he smiled, this time genuinely. I had to admit, it was nice to see. Edward actually had a nice smile…for an asshole, anyway. "I think you'd be the more likely candidate between the two of us."
"Gee, thanks." Was that supposed to be a compliment? Choice A or B…mafia prince or juvenile delinquent. I suppressed a smile at the thought of either of us rallying our peers for more stringent gun control measures or stricter punishments for drug possession.
The wind began to pick up and I shivered, pulling my coat tight around me. My clothes were still a bit damp with sweat from my morning jog across campus, and my socks still felt squishy. I should have insisted on going back to my room to change, but I'd been in too much of a hurry. Now I was regretting it as my skin prickled with the icy ocean air.
Edward glanced down at me. "Are you cold?"
"N-no," I said through my teeth, biting down hard to keep my them from chattering. Jesus, would I ever acclimate to this fucking arctic weather? I mean, was it possible that it could get any colder? I couldn't feel my damn nose.
"Liar," he said as he began to unbutton his coat. "Here. I'm guessing I'm a lot more used to the cold than you are."
"Really," I said. "I'm fine."
"You're about to bite your damn tongue off," he laughed. "Take the coat."
"I don't want it," I persisted.
"Bella…You're going to get sick. Just…"
"I don't want your damn coat, ok? Just drop it already!"
Edward put his hands up in front of his body. "Fine. I'm sorry! Don't bite my damn head off!"
I shook my head and continued to walk. We'd reached the leading edge of a path toward the rocky cliffs where I'd once watched Emmett and Jasper plummet to an inevitable death on a bet as to who would reach the water first. Idiots. I was sure that this little outing with Edward would have them buzzing for a week.
I rolled my eyes and turned to walk back in the direction we'd come from.
Edward cleared his throat. Jesus, what now?
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Depends on the question," I said, really not in the mood for a game of twenty questions but humoring him anyway.
"You really have a problem with the whole chivalry thing, don't you?"
"It's a bunch of bullshit." Really. He did not want to get me started on this issue.
"I just don't understand girls like you," he confessed. "Most women would be thrilled to have a guy open doors for them or lend them their coat when they were freezing their ass off. But not you."
"Maybe girls like Jessica Stanley who are destined to become Stepford Wives when they graduate. But nope," I smiled proudly. "Not me!"
"Might I ask why?"
"Let's just say that I don't buy into the whole act, and leave it at that. Ok?" I wasn't about to get into a feminist-driven debate about a completely sexist and archaic practice from the middle ages that morphed over the centuries into a device to get a woman into bed.
"Forgive me, Gloria Steinem," he laughed. I shot a disbelieving glance in his direction. Wow, he knows Steinem? I guess he deserves at least one point for that.
We walked the remaining length of the beach in silence, enjoying the momentary peace it provided. We'd finally made it back to the car when something Edward had mentioned earlier began to eat away at me.
"You know," I said, breaking Edward out of his meditation. "You still never answered my question,"
"What's that?" he asked, looking puzzled.
"Was that all true? I mean, what you said in the car earlier?" I bit my bottom lip as I fumbled with my keys. "There's really nothing good about a person who likes the color blue?"
Edward began to laugh, and I couldn't say I blamed him. It was a pretty trivial thing to be concerned about, but I was curious.
"You're not going to let this go, are you?" he smiled, shaking his head.
"Come on," I pleaded. "There has to be at least one good thing."
He pursed his lips for a moment, his eyes narrowing as he looked at me. I thought he might just tell me again to look it up for myself. And of course, I could have just waited until later to do a search. But something inside wanted to know what Edward would choose to reveal about his assessment of me…er, my preference of color.
Just before I gave up, Edward leaned forward, resting his chin groggily on his arm atop the car. His emerald eyes never left mine, and for a moment I felt as if he was trying to break down my defenses in order to search within my soul for the answer.
"Blues are also said to be kindhearted, compassionate, soft, and soothing in nature."
"Hmm," I uttered quietly. Four things?
I tilted my head slightly and thought about that for a moment. Once upon a time, I'd believed I possessed all those qualities. They were the same traits my mother had always tried to instill in me. Traits that she had always held in high regard and had possessed. God, what a disappointment I'd turned out to be.
I unlocked the doors, and Edward and I slid into the car. I began to slide the key into the ignition when I felt his hand rest gently on my arm. There was no way to disguise my surprise as I gasped at the spark that passed between us. He must have felt it too, because he jerked his hand away quickly. I looked up at him just as he looked away from me.
"Sorry," he said, smiling sheepishly. "Static."
"Y-yeah," I said nervously. "I mean, it's cold outside. Happens all the time."
I turned the key in the ignition and threw the heat on full blast as I backed out of the parking lot. Checking the clock on the dash, I realized we'd been walking on the beach for a good three hours and forty-five minutes. Wow. It hadn't seemed that long.
We drove up the one-ten back toward Forks, and I found myself taking it easy on the gas this time, not going any higher than 60 mph. I mean, we had some time to kill. Didn't want to get back to campus too early.
"Hey, Bella?" he said, shifting nervously in his seat.
"Yeah?" I blurted out. My throat felt dry, and my stomach was in knots. You're just hungry from all that walking. That's all it is. Chill.
"I just…" he broke off. "Thanks. I mean, for giving me a ride and all."
"It's fine," I said, forcing myself to not look over at him. "Really, it wasn't like either of us had another option."
I saw Edward nod once out of the corner of my eye, then turn to gaze out the window once again at the green wonderland outside. I tried to ignore the knot as it moved quickly from my stomach to my chest. Get a grip, Isabella. He's just a man. A gorgeous and beautifully flawed man.
I reached over to turn on the radio, hoping it would drown out my thoughts. I'd forgotten that Rose had left her Jaymay CD in the player from the last time we'd driven into Port Angeles. It wasn't exactly my type of music. I really preferred the harder stuff to Rose's depressing indie collection. But I supposed it would have to suffice since I'd left my own CD collection in my room. And I absolutely hated FM radio.
I clicked the forward button, searching for anything moderately acceptable to my ears. I finally settled on an acoustic track with a catchy, slightly upbeat rhythm and settled back into my seat, still watching the speedometer.
I found myself humming along to the melody when I caught the chorus and froze. What? WHAT DID SHE JUST SING?? Oh, for the love of Christ, come on already!
I grabbed the CD case and flipped it over.
Track 4: Sea Green, See Blue.
Oh seriously, you've got to be kidding me. Right?
I immediately pushed eject, grasped the disc between my fingers and flung it and it's stupid case in the back seat. And I swear I heard a muffled chuckle from the passenger's seat.
Fucking green-loving, gorgeous, and severely flawed bastard…
A/N: WOW! That was some skip day for our two favorite characters, huh? Bella is so damn stubborn!! But as you can now see, there's a softer side to her…she's not always Bitchabella. And I think Edward sees this now, too. However, I still believe it's going to take some time for these two to really let go of their issues and really let one another in.
A little reference: "Sea Green, See Blue" by Jaymay…I actually came across this song AFTER I'd written the whole color analysis thing. Thank you iTunes Genius feature!! Take a little listen if you are so inclined…it's very good (and might give you a little idea of what MIGHT happen next with these two…but I'm pleading the 5th)
Hugs and kisses!!
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