Kakashi and Iruka will eventually get to it, I promise. Iruka just has a lot of issues he needs to deal with first. Once those matters are settled he's getting laid, I swear:) lol

Thank you again to all of my readers and reviewers. This has been a blast! I'm very happy that I have such keen eyed readers. They bring my attention to details I forget to write, with good questions. Without these good questions I never would have remembered to put in an explanation. (Okay, stop channeling Gai!)

Thank you, kind readers, and reviewers.

Chapter Seven

Naruto looked at Iruka biting his lip, eyes wide and curious. He wasn't sure how to approach the subject delicately. He knew the crime peoples girlfriends, whom Sakura called hags, were causing Iruka some problems behind Kakashi's back.

"Okasan, I was wondering." He bit his lip again and twidled his fingers much like Hinata-chan does when in his presence. "Why not a henge, more precisely, why not try my Sexy-No-Jutsu?"

Iruka blushed. "It doesn't seem to work for me, Kagetera."

Naruto blinked. "Why not?"

"I don't know why, it just doesn't." insisted Iruka blushing.

He had a theory but he wasn't going to explain it to Naruto. Naruto was a child and his mind was not fully formed in to who he was. Iruka was nearly thirty and he had 28 years of self image he'd have to battle to perform such an intimate and embarrassing jutsu. Especially since Sexy-No-Jutsu seemed to be a transformation more difficult than a rock or a tree transformation. It was too intimate too personal, and it wasn't like Iruka knew very much about women and their anatomy and he didn't want to! Anko had ruined women for him for all time, men were more his thing anyway.

"I don't have a lot of chakra to expend", (the powerful chakra belongs to monster, not Iruka) "so it would not do me a service if I used it all on maintaining a henge. A good shinobi should always conserve chakra in case it is needed for something more life threatening. If a shinobi can get away with a little sleight of hand or a little dress-up and make-up to make a disguise work than his purposes are better served through illusion of that nature rather than draining chakra." explained Iruka gently.

"Oh, okay, I understand now. I'm sorry Okasan. Its too bad my jutsu cannot help you. It would have made those women eat their words."

Iruka blushed hotly. "Yes, yes, I'm sure it would have. Here let me help you with that kimono. How do you like it?"

"I love it Okasan!" cried Naruto loudly and happily. The playful foxes at the ends of the kimono cha-cha-ing up one side of the ensemble were not quite right, linked with daisies in a pattern of playfulness, they looked much more like little mutated cats then little foxes but Iruka had tried his best to create them in the best image of a fox that he could and tried to replicate them all throughout the layers of his clothes.

"I think it's the most amazing yukata, hakama, kimono ever!"

Iruka smiled as he straightened the sashes and the layers of cloth around the smaller squirming boy.

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A/N: Good question came up regarding Iruka and "Sexy No Jutsu". Sexy No Jutsu is Naruto's trademark or signature move (and a perversion of henge or a forbidden jutsu – not sure if I remember that right) I know Naruto tried to teach it to Konohamaru with some interesting and mixed results. I figure Iruka has tried the Sexy no Jutsu and failed it. Explanation: it takes a lot of chakra to maintain a Jutsu. Iruka has chunin level chakra, enough for defense of Konoha but not enough for long term chakra use. Jounin have a lot of chakra and chakra endurance.

The slant I puton this Jutsu is: Self-Image. Naruto hasn't a self image problem. He's a kid who thinks its fun and funny to dress up in a sexy no Jutsu and get a reaction from the adults, its another form of manipulation for him to get the results he wants. Konohamaru is a little kid who just lost his grandfather and is under tutelage by Ebisu, so he too ain't exactly in a good mind set and so his Sexy No Jutsu is bizarre. Iruka can't do Sexy No Jutsu because his self image is very low. He knows he's ugly and he knows he can't be sexy. (Which is FALSE. Iruka's hot, he's got that whole kindness thing that makes me just love him to pieces. Which is why I'm torturing him like this. I'm a terrible, terrible, person. Sob. sob.) So my slant on this jutu is "Self-Image", Self Image has a lot to do with the success or failure of this particular jutsu.
End (A/N)
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KAKASHI

Kakashi read the stall owner's note over and over again. He looked pained. Because he felt pained. Umino Iruka was handsome and drool worthy with skin like the sweetest nectarines to taste and touch. Umino had eyes that were expressive and flashed such wonderful emotions. Umino's fair cheeks blushed on average twenty times a day and made him more attractive. Kakashi liked seeing Iruka happy. He liked having Iruka happy. A happy Umino Iruka was a stable Umino Iruka.

Kakashi sighed. He had never understood the fairer sex. The way they grasped and fought and turned their backs on friends just to get their claws into a man. Kakashi could never understand such behavior or accept it. Being sweet on a person did not give you the right to try and tear down the sweetheart of the man you wanted. If the man had an interest in you then he owed it to his sweetie to break it off or at least get it on and not get caught at two timing.

Kakashi liked to think of himself as a fair minded man. He was also an opportunist like any other. He'd had twins in bed at the same time once or twice. He'd had a few people he dated off and on at the same time but no one he had been serious about. He had made it known to each party that he was a player. He also let them know he was having it on with others at the same time. He left it up to the interested party whether or not they could accept such a thing and continue the fling with him or not.

More than he liked to admit it the party usually ended up kicking his ass out of their bed pretty quickly after that. Kakashi hadn't ever done stable relationships before. He'd only ever had flings. He'd never been in love. Not like he was now.

He was in deep love with Umino Iruka.

Kakashi was a man he had needs like any man did and comfort and sex went along with the job description. He had always believed that if cupid's arrow ever struck him he would be faithful to his love and he would never be tempted by another and to stray from the one he was devoted to. He found happily that so far he had been right about himself.

He was a man he had eyes it didn't keep him from flirting but he always made it known he was in it for the long haul with Iruka. Flirting was alright as long as the line was never crossed. It was something that Iruka seemed even to understand and accept as well. Kakashi wouldn't cross the line. He loved Iruka. He wasn't about to have sex with anyone but Iruka. He was no Mizuki to betray Iruka's trust and burgeoning heart. He was not a bachelor. Not any more. He was with Iruka for this mission, and after it, if Iruka would have him.

He did not know what he could do about the hags haranguing and harassing his sweetie.

He supposed he could kick their asses but that didn't seem very fair to him since non of these women were Kunoichi. It would be plain old abuse. It would be pitiful. And what man who called himself a man could raise his hand to a woman? No matter how much she might deserve such a thing.

Kakashi had been raised to believe that a woman was to be treated with respect and to be handled with care. He knew this from experience. Women were dangerous creatures and twisted things. There are stories about Women, hair raising stories, stories about scorned women, women's ways, women's revenge and the way a woman could make a man feel not good.

All he could do was coolly rebuff their advances and call them on their false smiles and false praises. He would also ask their men to take more control over their women; not that men stood a chance against their woman, but it was worth a shot. Women always ruled the roost no matter what man thought.

But knowing that these women were hurting Iruka that did something to his heart that he could not quite forgive. His heart ached; it twisted and ached and twisted for Iruka's pain. He couldn't ignore what they were doing.

"Here's the thing boys and girls." He announced. "I expect you to show my wife respect whether I stand at her side or am away from her side on business. She is my wife. She is SAMA. She is always t be Sama or San. She is to be shown respect at all times. She is the Goddess in my life. If my Goddess hurts then I hurt. If I hurt than you get to hurt. I think that's only fair don't you?"

Every man their fidgeted and looked nervous. The women stood perfectly still each one of them enrapt by Kakashi's words.

"If I hear that my wife has been disrespected, I will only say this once, you get to hurt along with me. If I hurt my pain is coming out in your hides. Your women have been disrespecting my wife. My wife does not tell me these things. Others have spoken up on her behalf to me. My wife is a forgiving angel. She is all that is kind and merciful in this world. So let me just say for the record. I will never leave my wife. Even if she were dead I'd never leave her. If I were dead I would come back to be a protective spirit always with her. I will never find anyone as attractive or as mesmerizing as my wife is. In my eyes no one can possibly compare to my wife." Explained Kakashi narrow eyed. It was one of his longest speeches ever and he was hardly even finished yet. His throat was growing raspy and he thirsted for water but he needed to get this done and make them understand. He was never going to leave Iruka. Not ever.

"Therefore I hope you all get the drift here. I would never sleep with anyone other than my wife. Further more. If any more attempts are made to make my wife miserable, my henchmen are going to feel my wrath. Pay will be docked, blood will be shed, torture will be carried out. Because I cannot bring myself to harm a woman and dishonor myself in such unseemly behavior, I leave it up to my henchmen to figure out how to reign in their women. Perhaps they will simply just dump you after all that's what I'd do to a woman I have only momentary feelings for rather than suffer terrible and horrible torture that will last for hours on behalf of my woman's disrespect of the boss's wife. You all do now understand right? You're my henchmen's women, you are not mine nor will you ever be my women. My wife is my woman. My wife is my Goddess." Said Kakashi smiling sweetly.

"My Wife is my forever and my eternal. Understand?" His expression turned deadly serious. Henchmen shivered, a woman or two fainted. But there looked still to be a woman or two with an eye on Kakashi still. Kakshi had known tenacity was a trait many women had. They probably shared a motto like "Nothing's worth having unless its hard won" or some such nonsense, okay not nonsense after all Kakashi was feeling it for Iruka.

The Party: "Disaster or Success."

No matter that Kakashi thought he had put the lid on the disrespect issue he wasn't so foolish as to believe that it ended the true conflict. He knew there was still going to be gossips and conniving women. Trouble seemed destined to come their way no matter what.

Kakashi's arm was around Iruka. Umino Iruka was breathtaking in his new stunning Kimono, the colors and designs were of the sea, clouds in white with playful dolphins jumping in between. Naruto in his Hakama & kimono in a pattern of burnished copper and oranges, daisies and foxes. Sasuke in deep blues matching Iruka's kimono, though Sasuke's had black and red swallows (birds) in patterns on his kimono. Sakura in her usual red with patterns of little blossoms. Kakashi's outfit was a match for both Sakura's and Naruto's, dressed in red, with bits of gold and copper, birds, foxes, clouds and dolphins danced in sprays of clouds and white sakura blossoms. His kimono was by far a masterpiece of collage meant to tie the family patterns all together. Like some come to life tapestry. Iruka had outdone himself. Kakashi wore his kimono proudly. He felt like a true patriarch.

They were stunning.

The boss was a large man, in stature and size. He was handsome with rugged looks. It was obvious that he had fought every step of the way to get to where he was now. But he also had some strange, kind, quality to his features. Eyes that should have been hard like the chiseled cheeks on his face were large and friendly, almost a Father Christmas type quality to his features. He was wealthy and his figure showed it. His wife was willowy and tall with blonde locks, eyes of forest green. Her arm was around her husband's large waist and they looked very happy together, evening love with one another. ( I was thinking Gandolfini, from Sopranos. If you're an adult and you've seen Sopranos, then you know who I'm describing here as the Yakuza leader, Sakuragi as Tony Soprano.)

"Merry Christmas Kashino-san! Is this your wife?" asked Sakuragi-Sama, happy to finally meet the elusive wife. His eyes studied Iruka and the three kids with a sudden cunning light. He weighed them and found them to his liking. "She seems so young to have born you such beautiful children. It is such a pleasure to meet you at long last Rukia-San, my dear."

Iruka blushed, her hand squeezed Kashino's in her shy nervousness.

Intelligent eyes noted all body language communication. He tried to be more kind. He did not want to alienate his top henchman by making his wife feel uncomfortable. Sakuragi knew about Kashino's complete obsession with his wife. In some respects it matched Sakuragi's own love of his own wife. "This is my wife, Kate-Lynn, she is from the North originally."

Kate-Lynn smiled politely at the shy Rukia. She gracefully held out her hand to Rukia for her to clasp in friendship.

Rukia smiled shyly back then slowly clasped her hand in Kate-Lynn's. Kate-Lynn blinked at the gentle squeeze. It was firm, strong, honest and thoughtful. The hand in hers seemed more man than woman. Kate-Lynn's eyes turned speculative then turned to study the children in a better light. She suspected the children were adopted. She suspected Rukia and Kashino were not who they seemed to be.

Rukia looked from Kate-Lynn to her children and began to become protective. She tried to shield them from Kate-Lynn's studious eyes.

The men folk ambled into the dining room discussing things of import for men to discuss leaving the women to talk to one another and get to know one another better.

Kate-Lynn tried to smile soothingly. "It is very good to meet you at long last Rukia-San. Kashino-San speaks of you often. And might I ask the names of your children?"

Rukia tensed for a moment then relaxed she tucked her youngest in against her waist. Blonde locks scattered in a thick patch of spikes, a wide smiling face with wide blue eyes.

"This is Kagetera our youngest" Rukia tried to smooth the child's locks down but they stubbornly refused to obey and continued to stand straight up in a messy tangle of gold.

"Hi!" the child was enthusiastic, and sparkled with good cheer.

Rukia then turned to her eldest son, black hair with cool dark eyes. He seemed more like his father than the other two. Though Kate-Lynn again suspected that neither children were blood to either Rukia or Kashino-san.

"This is Tsubaru."

Tsubaru was polite but aloof. "Nice to meet you, Ma'am."

Kagetera scowled at his older brother. "Aniki, should be nicer, mommy. He has no manners at all."

Kagome scowled at her little brother and looked to be itching to beat some sense into his head. Tsubaru glared a warning at his sister. Rukia looked near to tears.

Rukia blushed terribly embarrassed. "Kagetera, please. Not here. Kagome you are a young lady, don't shame me."

Kagome blushed like her mother. "hai, hai, gomen, so sorry, sorry, Okasan. Lady Kate-Lynn it is an honor to meet you."

Kate-Lynn grinned amused. It was obvious who the troublemaker was in the family though he didn't seem to do it with malice.

"It is so good to meet all of you as well." Insisted Kate-Lynn merrily then to Rukia as if in conspiracy mode she whispered, eyes twinkling, "They must be a right hand full, yes?" asked Kate-Lynn smiling gently in a chuckle not meant to offend but to share the delight she felt in meeting them.

Rukia nodded with some relief. "Yes, they can be. But we are blessed with very kind hearted children. I don't know what I would do without them."

"Children are a blessing. I envy you, your happiness Rukia-chan. My husband and I have been trying for children for a long time. Alas it is not meant to be."

"I'm very sorry to hear that." Replied Rukia, compassion in her eyes. "Have you thought of adoption? There are many children out there who could use so much love."

"Is this what you and Kashino-san did?" asked Kate-Lynn gently, quizzing.

Rukia blinked and looked at her children then chuckled warmly. "Yes, and we do not regret one single moment of it." Why deny any of it when it was true? The kids looked nothing like Kakashi or like Iruka, behavior wise yes there were plenty of similarities however where looks were concerned non at all. Adoption had been one of the scenarios they'd devised to explain the differences so Iruka went ahead and confessed to adoption being the case.

"Perhaps Sakuragi-sama and myself will discuss such matters. I do have a niece though that I spoil non stop, I think of her as a daughter of sorts, from my husband's side of the family she goes to school and is in one of your classes. She speaks very highly of you Rukia-chan."

"Saya-chan is your niece?" asked Rukia delightedly.

Kate-Lynn's smile widened happily. "Yes, yes she is. How does she get along in class?"

Rukia smiled more confidently. "She has excelled in class lately and she has been a very joy to teach."

"That's good to hear. Shall we continue into the dining hall?"

"Dinner already?"

"Not quite, just snacks and more people to talk to. Dinner will be served in an hour or two depending on the turkey and the cook. I hope you will enjoy your time here with us."

"Yes. Uh oh, uh Tsubaru go get the presents from the cart. Kate-Lynn Sama, we have a few gifts for you and your husband as a symbol of our appreciation for inviting us to your party."

"Thank you Rukia-chan, that was very kind of you. Tell me. I can't help but notice your kimonos and hakamas, they look very well seamed and stitched, the patterns are so … alive seeming, did you create them?"

Rukia blushed some more. "My mother's technique passed down from generation to generation." Confirmed Rukia. "Do you really like them?"

"Yes, especially Tsubaru's design. I love the look of the birds but then again I am a bird fanatic. And Kagetera's outfit, are those little foxes and daisies?"

Rukia blushed some more. "I'm afraid they turned out to look more like little cats than foxes but yes, that is exactly what they were supposed to be."

Kate-Lynn's arm found its way into Rukia's arm and wrapped itself around her elbow. Before Iruka knew what was happening he was in a very intimate position. Iruka had rarely been in such a position before. A friend's arm wrapped in his own. A tall shoulder resting against his own and a friend's hair tangling with his own. A friend's warmth seeping into his own. Not a lover's but as a sister's warmth. It was an amazing feeling.

"I think we're going to be excellent friends, Rukia-Chan, you may call me, Lynn-chan if you like?"

Iruka was still in awe. He'd never had a friend that was a woman before. Women were so odd, so intimate in their interactions with one another. What personal space he had was quickly eaten away.

"You must, simply must, teach me those stitch techniques! They're amazing."

Rukia continued to blush pleased and shy. Tsubaru carefully brought in the gifts then set them down on the table near the giant tree his siblings by his side helping him with the two large gifts.

Then as children often do they set out to explore their host's house.

Some of the guests were already tipsy and they were gossiping as usual. A few women recognized the children and they fawned all over them hoping to earn good points for themselves and their boyfriends-slash-future-husbands.

The kids bristled under the attentions but each were mindful of Iruka and Kakashi and their manners.

But one woman kept giving them calculating looks and saying lofty things. She kept making snide remarks about Kashino's choice for a wife. Her friends tried to hush her up but they were not swift enough and very soon Naruto stumbled across the unhappy person and her remarks.

Naruto had some obnoxious things to say right back to the drunken hag. She reddened with rage and tried to do Naruto bodily harm.

Tsubaru managed to grab Naruto and get him out of range of the kick to his head, using his own body to shield his teammate from the hag's kick. Iruka appeared within a blink of an eye and took the kick to his stomach instead, placing himself between the two boys and the enraged woman.

Iruka gasped in pain and felt something break in his chest.

"Rukia!" screamed Kate-Lynn in horror.

Kakashi was second to arrive drawn to the commotion by the boss' wife's scream. Kakashi's blue eye blazed. The crazy hag had Rukia in a head lock by her hair with a pair of sharp chopsticks aimed for Rukia's graceful neck ready and willing to spill Rukia's blood. Iruka was reeling in shock. He had not foreseen such a thing happening this night. He tried to stay calm and to gather his own wits for a return attack but his mind went blank. He could not afford to give away his identity and to endanger the mission. He gave a calm look to his children and the frightened people around them. He knew Kakashi would save the day or something would happen to calm this situation down. This was Christmas after all a time for miracles to happen.

"Okasan, okasan." Cried Naruto, eyes starting to blaze red, the demon inside of him was not very happy with his kit's agitation and fear.

Sasuke decided a quick pinch to his little brother's nerve cluster was called for, sending the little kit to sleep and hanging limply from his arms. He hugged Naruto tightly to his chest and watched the showdown about to begin.

Kakashi looked at the group before him the boss next to him doing likewise as well. Both men seemed to suck the oxygen from the room. Sakuragi-Sama no longer looked like a jovial kind man, he suddenly looked as a Yakuza leader should look. Hard and empty like an elite ninja assassin, like Kakashi beside him.

"Whose woman is this?" asked Kakashi, cold and deadly.

She looked up from her hold on Iruka as if finally noticing that she was at the center of their attentions. She looked at Iruka with some sort of vicious promise in her dead insane eyes. She was beautiful like poisonous things often are.

Iruka shakily regained his footing and carefully untangled himself from her hold. He read from her expression that this was hardly over by a long shot. Iruka's monster smiled and curled in anticipation, it agreed, this really wasn't over, not at all.

"K-Kashino-S-Sama, please, its still Christmas, please." Requested Rukia, eyes large and wide with tears.

Kate-Lynn swooped down on Iruka and bundled him up in her arms. "This is my house." She growled. "There will be no bloodshed this night, as dear Rukia-chan has said it is Christmas still and the new year around the corner. It would be terrible bad luck to shed blood before the New Year. I won't have it."

Sakuragi-Sama looked to his wife and clenched his fists. Her green eyes were chilled and glittered like jade. She was breathtaking. This was her house and she had a point. They needed a better year. Rukia was the wronged party if she wanted her attacker to have a reprieve then so be it.

"Very well, my wife" said Sakuragi, bowing to his wife's demand. Then he turned to the spared woman. "Lady, you best thank the One God, that tonight your life has been spared, but know this, once the New Year begins your reprieve is over. You're dead, got me, dead; unless you get the hell out of my town."

Kakashi was still shaking with fury. His men flinched and quaked with terror. His eyes promised them pain.

Kate-Lynn helped Iruka to one of the spare bedrooms for him to lay down in.

"We'll call a doctor for you Rukia-chan." She insisted as she helped Rukia to the bed.

"No, I just need to lay down for a little bit, I'll be alright." Rukia wheezed. "Kagetera, is my Kagetera alright?" she asked worried.

Tsubaru trailed them to the bedroom and lay Naruto down at Iruka's side.

"He's alright Okasan. He is merely sleeping."

"Good, good, thank you Tsubaru. Lynn-Chan please don't worry about me, I'm all right, I promise."

Something in Rukia's tone told Kate-Lynn that her friend had suffered much worse and had survived just fine. Kashino-San is an abuser? She thought startled and horrified.

"No, Okasan's first husband." Informed Tsubaru gently.

Kate-Lynn blinked. "Oh. I see." Getting her footing back under her she then rallied to her friend's aid. "Still I think a doctor needs to be called. Let me see your ribs, Rukia-chan, no need for modesty between us girls. You've got nothing I haven't seen before I'm sure."

Rukia began to giggle hysterically, and blushing, "Uh, uh Lynn-chan, please, please, I'm alright there's no need I assure you I…" he tried to fend her hands off but Kate-Lynn was adamant and determined to look and see the damage. She wanted to help her friend.

"No please, its not necessary, I assure you." Insisted Iruka. It was too late to do a henge and there wasn't enough time to do the hand signals to even begin such a technique, besides he didn't want to give his ninja status away to Kate-Lynn a possible suspect.

Kate-Lynn's hands were fast and Iruka's kimono did not stand a chance. Kate-Lynn flushed red all over. "Oh, oh, oh my, those aren't breasts." She whispered in shock. Nice pectoral muscles, nice lean abs, muscles galore for any woman to salivate over. She had to remind herself that she was a married woman and happily so. But here in front of her eyes was candy, lots and lots of delightful candy. This was a man dressed like a woman. Why? For the love of another man. Because no one could or would accept such a thing, at least not in this village. How very sad.

"I mean, I shouldn't be so shocked. I suspected Kashino-sama of such tendencies. To hide what you are seems such a shame, somehow. You're a very beautiful man, Rukia-chan, or should I call you something else?" asked Kate-Lynn offer of friendship still tightly in tact.

"Busted." Said Sakura panic setting in. Oh man, what do we do? What do we do?

Inner Sakura was running circles and sprinting like crazy.

Run away! the missions been compromised! No we must kill Lynn-Sama! No we can't do that! She's too high profile! Oh god, what do we do? What do we do?

Sakura's hand worked without her conscious thought and one of her needles found its way into Kate-Lynn putting her instantly to sleep.

TBC

Sorry it's short. Sorry for the cliffhanger. This was such a difficult chapter to write! I don't know why it was, but it was. Damn writer's block! Anywhoo, the next chapter will be coming along very shortly, this I promise.

Chapter 8 coming soon.

seriously:)