Jonathan's foot tapped impatiently against the cement. He sat on a bench at the small, nearly empty station, waiting. He stared down the track, heat waves rippling off the hot steel. He glanced at his watch, then sighed and leant back, glancing in the opposite direction. Nothing but heat waves. He was running late. As he stared down the track, he found his mind wandering. He'd been here before.
Turning his head, he looked towards the path leading to the station. It had been just past nine that night, the sun barely down. Evan had pulled him up the path, both running to catch their train into town. Both had been smiling from ear to ear as they hurried onto the train, the doors sliding closed just behind them, nearly catching Jonathan's hoodie. It would still be a little while before they both fell out of love with the world, but in that moment, they had been full of smiles and excitement, watching the world pass through the windows. By the middle of the night, they found themselves on the beach. Evan had a bag of popcorn in one hand from the pier and his shoes in the other. Jonathan hadn't seen the Night God in a while and he had wanted to ask where he had been but he didn't for he knew that Evan wouldn't tell him. He would have already told him if it wasn't something he wanted to keep secret.
All of that was forgotten then though when they found themselves getting closer and closer to one another until there was nothing else to do but go back to Jonathan's apartment. Evan had giggled when the popcorn spilt all over the floor and started to apologise only to be stopped by Jonathan. In the morning, Evan was gone like always, Jonathan's arm stretching across the empty side of his bed. Jonathan didn't mind though. He had been happy.
Now, sitting on the bench, Jonathan couldn't stop the smile that spread on his lips. How different things had been then. How different they had been. Jonathan couldn't help but wonder if it was because of that night that made what was happening now so painful. He wanted that Evan back. The Evan who laughed when he accidentally spilt his popcorn only to apologise with a smile on his face that demanded to be loved.
But was that Evan a thing of the past? A treasure already buried deep in the earth to be forgotten? Was it too late to find him again? No. No, Jonathan was going to find him. He had to find him. He turned his head to look down the track, seeing the train among the heatwaves, slowing as it reached the station. Jonathan stood up, his hand reaching into his pocket for the note he had there. It came to a stop, the doors sliding open. A few people got off before Jonathan stepped into the train, the air much cooler inside than out. Sitting alone by the window, Craig turned his head to see Jonathan, his brow furrowing. Jonathan walked towards him, sliding casually into the seat beside him.
"What are you doing here?" Craig said quietly, keeping his gaze fixed on the window.
"Have you heard about Tyler? More specifically, have you heard about what he did to Evan?" Jonathan asked, looking down at the floor as the train lurched forward into motion.
"He woke him up. He lost him and that's all I've heard."
"Tyler got him back. He's gotten Luke to work for him somehow and they've gone back in time. I'm going after them and I need your help." Jonathan explained quietly.
"Fuck that. I'm not going after the devil, Jonathan. You have to leave this alone. Let Evan go. It's not worth the hell you're going to go through." Craig turned his head to stare at Jonathan who shook his head.
"I have to make this right. I have to get revenge on Tyler. He fucked this all up. We're fucked if we don't stop him. Who knows what the hell he is going to do." Jonathan tried to keep his voice down. "I need you to give me an opportunity. A way into the past. The Tyler we know might still be in there and if we have a chance to bring him back then we have to take it." If Craig wasn't listening to what he had to say, Jonathan knew he'd listen to that. "Please."
"You're out of your mind." Craig shook his head. Jonathan sighed and reached into his pocket, giving Craig a note.
"Well if you change your mind, meet us here. At this exact spot and don't be late." Jonathan said as the train came to a stop at the next station. He got up, and left, stepping into the warm sunlight. He wasn't going to stick around with Craig. He had to make him think. He left the station, finding Apollo waiting by the blue car, leaning against the warm metal.
"Will he do it?"
"He's on the fence right now." Jonathan said as Bryce tossed him the keys. "He'll come around though."
"He has to otherwise you won't be able to go after him." Bryce said Jonathan walked around the car. He stopped, turning to Bryce with a confused look.
"What do you mean 'you'? I thought you were coming with me." Jonathan snapped.
"I'm not going. I can't go through that, Jonathan. I got people here who need me! I have things that I have to do here! I can't go back in time with you!" Bryce explained.
"I can't do this alone. Tyler will kill me."
"Smitty will go with you."
"For fuck's sake!" Jonathan got in his car, slamming the door behind him.
"Jon, please! If I could go, believe me, I would!" Bryce pulled open the door only for Jonathan to shake his head and suddenly step on the gas, leaving Bryce in there as he sped away, the door slamming shut as he took a sharp turn out to the parking lot.
Jonathan was alone. He had always been alone but now, with Evan gone, he felt alone. Everyone was a coward. Did they really think that because Tyler's plan involved past, it would affect them now? If Tyler did one thing to disrupt the past, it would completely change the future. If he spoke to the wrong person or showed up where he shouldn't be, where he didn't belong, who knew what could happen.
Gritting his teeth, Jonathan stepped on the gas and drove. He drove out of the city, back into the desert. He could go alone. He would go alone. He'd die trying. Evan would fight back. He wouldn't let Tyler kill him.
"But he could kill me…" Jonathan whispered, then quickly pushed the thought away. That'd only happen if Tyler got in his head; or if Evan really wanted to. He hadn't known Evan when he had fully been Nyx, the one that only he could stop. He had only known the quiet Nyx, the one who didn't want to step on anyone's toes. He's the complete opposite of the Nyx he had once been. If he stumbled into that Nyx, Jonathan had a feeling that his memories and feelings for Evan wouldn't stop him.
Deep in thought, Jonathan didn't notice the world outside his windows. The sky seemed too dark for three in the afternoon, dropping onto the dusty ground like blood. Cacti became silhouettes that danced in the dark, their spikes glinting in the moonlight. It wasn't until someone in a dark-tailed suit came into view in Jonathan's headlights that he noticed, swerving to avoid the figure like he had with the dead pig. He looked back over his shoulder, seeing nothing there.
"It's not safe to drive that fast on these roads. You never know what you'll see." The voice made Jonathan jump, fear seizing his chest. He turned to see Evan sitting beside him, the wind coming through the open window playing with his hair. He wore the same Victorian suit, his vest a soft, deep black velvet, as he had in the strange dream Jonathan had the night Evan was taken. Though he had Evan's face, Jonathan had no idea who he was.
"Fuck! I'm dreaming, aren't I? Fuck! I must have fallen asleep at the wheel!" Jonathan gripped the steering wheel tightly, closing his eyes as he tried to wake up.
"Stop it. You look ridiculous." The Nightmare Evan said, a slight smile on his face. "I'm curious though...What are you planning to get out of this, Nemesis?"
"Evan."
"No. I'm Evan too. You have to be more specific. That answer is weak. Let's try this again. What are you planning to get out this?" Evan's voice was stern and commanding.
"Who the fuck are you? What the hell do you want?" Jonathan suddenly cried. The Nightmare only stared at him, waiting for a proper answer. Jonathan sighed. "I want to kill Tyler. I'm...I'm jealous."
"I'd fail that answer if this were a test. I'm trying to help you, Nemesis. You know the answer. Come on now. Third time's a charm." Evan scolded him. Jonathan couldn't stop the words that suddenly exploded out of him.
"Fine! Fuck you! Fuck you all! I want to be king! I want to rule the god damned fucking world because no one else can do it! I'll kill you even if I have to!" Jonathan suddenly yelled, slamming on the brakes. The car came violently to a stop, lurching both of them forward. "No one deserves to be king more than I do! I've done nothing but try to set this world right since I was created! Fuck you! Fuck you, Nyx! Fuck you!" Jonathan screamed at him, spitting with every word. His knuckles had gone white on the steering wheel. He breathed as if he were an animal, deep and heavy.
"I'm looking forward to our chat." Evan smiled, suddenly disappearing into shadows that slithered back into darkness. Jonathan blinked, looking around in shock. He hadn't been asleep.
"Fuck…" Jonathan ran a hand through his hair. What was that? Was it Tyler trying to mess with him? It had to have been. Evan wouldn't do that to him. Or would he?
Why had he said that? Yes, he had thought about it but was that really why he was doing this? Because he was sick and tired of being kicked around by everyone else? By Evan? He wouldn't. He couldn't.
Jonathan drove back into town, unable to get that nightmarish, stranger that was Evan out of his mind. That wasn't Evan. He was too much of everything.
"If there was anything...anything at all that you could be, wouldn't you want to be everything?" Evan had once wondered aloud as they strolled down a Parisian street, his hands in his pocket. "But when you are everything...you are also nothing. For you are everything, not something..." Now, Jonathan could only wonder if that had been Evan of the past talking. Jonathan turned the car around and drove back towards the city. He felt bad for yelling at Bryce now. He should have known that Bryce wasn't going to go that far with him. He hadn't fled alone.
"I'd want to be everything." Jonathan had said in response to Evan's wondering. "I don't want to be something, why would I want to? In a world where we as Gods are assigned to one thing and that one thing only, wouldn't it be nice to be everything? Take the new God for example. He's everything. Who's to say that we can't be like that? Why can't I, Nemesis, be everything?" Evan had been surprised by that. He hadn't been expecting Jonathan to say something like that.
"You are everything-"
"No, not like that." Jonathan had said a bit harsher than he meant to. "You know what I mean, Nyx. I would want to be like what you once were. I know that that isn't possible...But if I'm being honest...That kind of power and respect, I've never had it."
"You don't want that." Evan had said suddenly. It was Jonathan's turn to be surprised. "You don't want it. You don't want to be what I once was. You must have a limit. Something must be able to stop you."
Jonathan pushed the memory away as he reached L.A. Evan's expression had scared him. His gaze was far off, looking at something that Jonathan could not see. His hands had curled tightly into fists, angry and scared all at once. Jonathan had always wondered what it was that Evan was remembering. Was it when he had created that dagger to stop himself? There wasn't anything else that Jonathan could think of that might answer that question.
When he reached his apartment, Smitty was sitting on the front steps, staring down at his shoes. Jonathan took a breath as he parked the car, slowly turning the key. He leant his head against the seat, taking another deep breath before getting out.
"Where have you been?" Smitty asked, not moving from his spot on the step.
"Driving." Jonathan shrugged and sat down beside him. "Have you been waiting this whole time?"
"Yes."
"Oh...Did Bryce tell you that he isn't coming with us?"
"I had a feeling." Jonathan sighed at that, looking out over the street. The sun was setting, the apartment block across the street a silhouette against the bright sky. The street was quiet, a few kids playing little ways down the street with a soccer ball.
"Why are you doing this, Smitty?" Jonathan asked, breaking the long silence that had stretched between them without their noticing. "Why do you want to go after Tyler?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Smitty glanced at him with a sad expression. Jonathan didn't say anything. "Why me? I want to answer that question. Why did Tyler, Tyler from the future who never met me before, why did he kill me? If it was for no reason...Then I want to do something about it. You don't just kill someone for no reason. You can understand that, can't you?"
"Yeah." Jonathan nodded. "I understand that. Are you being honest?"
"Why else would I do this? Why are you doing this, Jon? You don't have to. You don't owe Nyx anything, do you?"
"He's my friend."
"Must be a really good friend if you are willing to fuck up the reality we know for him." Smitty laughed. "You wouldn't do that for a mutual friend and I thought that you were mutual with everyone unless there was a good reason to be otherwise."
"Why would you think that?"
"Just the feeling I got from you. Like you don't really care about anyone." Smitty said, his smile fading. "That's why I'm going to be honest and tell you that I'm nervous about you Nemesis. Because if we get into the worst...And you gotta make a choice between your life and someone else, that someone else being me, that you are gonna throw me under the bus and walk away without even a little bit of regret. Why are you doing this, Jonathan? Why do you want to go after Nyx? Are you going to save him?" Jonathan didn't say anything for a long time. He could tell that his silence was making Smitty uncomfortable but what could he say? After what that Nightmare Evan made him say and feel, would anything that could be said to reassure him be true? He had been lying to himself this whole time and he had been lying to everyone else. Could he even be honest now? "Does Nyx even want to be saved?" Smitty suddenly asked, startling Jonathan.
"Of course he does. That's not even a question."
"I think it is. I was human not that long ago, Jonathan. I know how emotions work. Gods aren't immune to them. Let's suppose that Tyler is being honest with Evan just as you have. Let's suppose that he isn't forcing him to do anything…But he gave him an offer. Nyx was once an unstoppable God. You know that and Tyler knows it. What if Nyx wants to be Nyx again? What if Tyler gave him an opportunity to be Nyx again? And what if he loves it? He would fight you and he would kill you." Smitty explained though Jonathan couldn't even look at him. He couldn't believe that.
"You've never met Evan. You don't know him like I do. He had to stop himself from becoming a devil. He wouldn't want that again. After what he has been through, he would refuse Tyler. I know it!" Jonathan cried. Smitty shrugged.
"Sure. You know Evan pretty well." Smitty looked away from him towards the deeply warm coloured sky as the sun sank lower towards the horizon. "But does Tyler know him better?"
