It's been a few weeks since i first phased and honestly, i still felt the same. I didn't want to stay around here. I hated having my life planned out for me but i couldn't talk to anyone about it. I had tried over and over to tell Seth and Leah how i felt but Jake was always there, within listening distance. To make matters worse, i was at the mercy of the imprint. Whenever i saw jake, i found it hard to control myself. He was gorgeous. There was no doubt about that. But i hardly knew him. How could i fall for someone i didn't even know? It was impossible! On more than one occasion, i had almost let my thoughts slip while patrolling. The pack knew something wasn't right with me but i guess they just put it down to the shock of everything that had happened. Yet i was starting to wonder how long it would be before they wouldn't accept that that was the case.

Today, I was the only person around the house. Seth and Leah were patrolling together and Jacob was resting at his place. I had been fixing myself something to eat when my phone rang. I hesitated in answering it. I was starving! I ended up answering and wedging the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

"Hello?" i answered.

"How much do you love us?" a girl's voice answered me with a question.

"Excuse me?" 'Who the hell was this?'

"Holly managed to pull some strings with her dad and we're all coming down to see you for a week!" she exclaimed. I soon recognized the voice as Vicky's.

"Oh my! Really? I've missed... Wait, what? When?" it soon hit me that i wasn't the same person they all knew. I was completely different now. I was a wolf for heavens sake!

"Yep, it was supposed to be a surprise but i couldn't help myself, plus we have no idea where you are really. We should be landing in Seattle around 4 tomorrow, could you and your aunt come and get us?" no! No! This wasn't happening right now! "Ill take your silence as shock and hope your nodding your head."

"erm...yeah, we'll come and get you. Of course. Ill see you tomorrow then?"

"you sure will Becksters, see you tomorrow. I can't wait." she said as she hung up.

"Me either." i said to no one. The phone dropped from my hands and i suddenly felt incredibly ill. Like i was going to throw up. I darted for the bathroom and was sick. But why? My friends were coming to see me after weeks of us being apart! If it wasn't for my being a wolf and the vampires and the irritating imprint and the pack and jake, i would have been excited. But i literally felt sick to my stomach with dread.

Seth and Leah burst through the front door as i was wiping my mouth with tissue.
"Becks, what's wrong?" Seth ran over to me to make sure i was okay. I was not okay. Far from it.

"Seth, just leave it." i headed for the front door.

"But you where-"

"I said leave it!" i almost shouted at him as i slammed the door behind him. 'Okay, you need to sort this out, right now.' i thought and i took off running to Jake's place. We had to talk about this imprint, see if there was a way to get rid of it. If i didn't look him in the eyes, i could do it. Then i had to talk to Sam about my going back to England in a few months. I didn't come here for life long romances and drama. That's part of what i was attempting to avoid when i came to spend time with my family. I approached the front door to the Black residence and hesitated before knocking. 'I hope he would understand.' i thought hopefully.

"Becky? I was just coming over to see you." jake answered the door in his cut-offs and a black t shirt that clung to every muscle on his body. He stepped closer and outreached his arms.

"No, jake. Stop." i put my closed fist against his chest. 'Don't look into his eyes. You can't do this if you look. Turn away. Close your eyes!' i instructed myself. I tightly shut my eyes and looked down. 'breathe.' i told myself. "Jake..." i sighed. The words were on the tip of my tongue. "Im...im sorry...i cant, i can't do this anymore." the words were beginning to flow out of my mouth. "I don't need something holding me here. I didn't, i don't want an imprint." he stayed silent. '' i want to atleast try...to break the imprint." my voice had gotten quieter and i could feel the water start to fall from my face. "I can't pretend this is what i want anymore. I don't...I can't love you." i clenched my fist still holding jake away from me. "Im sorry." that when i felt it. One single warm tear fell from Jacobs face and landed on my fist. My head jerked up to look at him. He was looking through me, like i wasn't even there anymore. His face was hard but another tear glided from his chocolate eyes and dropped again, on my fist. 'What have i done?' i thought, immediately regretting every word i had uttered." Jacob?'' i whispered. His eyes looked into mine and i felt more tears begin to form in my eyes. He looked like i had just torn his life from him. My throat began to close and i couldn't speak. There was so much i wanted to say, that i wanted to apologize for. I just couldn't.

"I..." he started. I studied his face and urged him to speak. To say something. "If that's what you really want, i will stay away from you." no. No! That's not what i meant, that's not what i wanted. "I can't see you and not talk to you, not touch you. I can't do it if i can't love you." he stepped back away from me.

"Jake..." i managed to whisper. He looked to the ground and began to close the door. "No, jake-'' the door closed and that was it.

Considering i had wanted this, the pain inside my chest, inside my heart was screaming for me to take it back. My head was telling me it was the right thing to do. I had to follow my head in this. My heart would leave me here to live my life amongst vampires, be a wolf and get married to my imprint and have children. My head didn't want that. I had to do what i thought was right, even if it felt wrong...

Sorry guys, short chapter but there should be more next weekend :-)
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