A/N: I seem to have a problem with making up one-shots, lol. This has turned into basically a short story. The fourth part is here, yep, I want to again thank liljemsey and boop-oop-ee-doo for reviewing, seriously you both rock – This is from Faith's POV.

Enjoy

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I feel like shit – yeah being dead probably does that to you, not to mention the coming back to life thing. I don't remember much of it, just that my body felt like it was fucking on fire and my head couldn't think straight. It was only two weeks, I was dead just two weeks – seemed longer…felt like an eternity.

I don't know where I was – didn't feel like heaven, same time I know it wasn't hell.

Fucking place was dark, cold. Like sitting in a freezer or maybe not quite a freezer, a fridge or something; I can't really remember, since rising from the dead my minds been a pile of goo. Real help to me, NOT!

B's been good really, a little crowding though I haven't complained – can't complain. It's kinda nice of her letting me stay at her house and all, I woulda been fine on me own but hey a free place to crash, warm meals and hot shower – can't say no to that, would be a massive fool if I did.

Plus, I'm seriously doubting my ability to function properly on my own.

Can't even stand without getting all feather headed…yeah, yeah I know – loser should be plastered to my forehead in red letters. Still on the flip side, I get to spend time with B and sure she can talk like a million miles per hour, without taking a damn breath, but that's how I like it. Not big with words right now, I need to get my thoughts sorted before I go blabbering to anyone.

I'm sitting on her bed right now, somehow she convinced me she'd have the couch and I could sleep in her room. It's dark, kinda like when I was dead although not as cold. I know she's still upstairs, I can see the shadow she makes every time she walks past the door – she's stopped more than once and I wait for the door to open, although it never does.

It's late and all I want to do is pass out and sleep forever – I don't.

Every time I seem to shut my eyes, I feel alone…kinda a bit lost and shit.

It's mucked up and I really hate my mind right now.

Tried to get some shut eye down stairs, rest up a bit y'know. Even with Buffy round I had to talk to keep my mind from lashing out and pulling me right back to where I was…damn if I knew, but I don't want to be there again. She was all cool bout it and I don't think she noticed my internal struggle to withdraw and collapse in on myself, probably a good thing really.

Again her shadow appears at the bottom door crack and I get the familiar pulse of electricity and hum of something that feels safe. Slayer connection has its charms. The handle turns and slowly the door is opened a slight creak emitting harshly, she curses at the noise and for a minute I think she might have thought I was asleep, although I'm sitting – and last I checked I didn't sleep with my eyes open.

"Can't sleep?" Her voice is low and she shuts the door quietly, I shrug and she smiles. "Yeah, me either."

I don't mind her being in here, takes me away from my thoughts which is always a good thing. Although contrary to my acceptance of her being in the room I move my knees to my chest, it's comfortable – warm and I guess kinda a pathetic shield, whatever.

"Pretty soon it'll be morning." She says and I watch her gesture to the window, the light that gets past the curtains is tainted a smoky blue – reminds me of when I'd go out and stay up all night, getting so smashed that I barely could walk straight. Alcohol sounds fucking good right bout now.

I nod and simply watch as she sits hesitantly on the bed, smoothing out the sheets for no particular reason.

"You comfy?"

"Five by five." I reply, far from actually but hey little white lie never hurt nobody.

She frowns momentarily and I can tell she wants to ask me something, probably what it was like being dead, maybe I could sum it up in one word for her;

Empty

Dark

Crushing

Okay, so wasn't one word – kinda hard to narrow it down.

"Faith?" She whispers and I realize I'm rocking batch and forth – okay, so not what I should be doing.

I look up and she moves closer. "Are you alright?"

"Fine B."

She doesn't believe me.

"I don't believe you; maybe you need to get some rest."

Not a question but I answer, trying to keep my voice as normal as possible.

"Rest ain't gunna help." She frowns and I hate seeing so much concern in her eyes, am I not making it seem like I'm fucking fine? Obviously not because she moves to place her hand on my knee and tries to catch my eyes – I look away and there's a moment of silence.

"Why?" She asks and I hate her for it – yet a part of me was hoping she'd question me.

"Nightmares are a fucking bitch."

"You're having nightmares?" Her voice floods with concern and I flinch back although she doesn't remove her hand from my knee. "What about?"

I know she desperately wants to know and the fact she all but whispers her words makes me want to tell her, seeing ushered tears in her eyes almost breaks me though I steel myself and clench my teeth together.

"Things."

She rubs her thumb across my knee. "What kind of things, bad things?"

"Aren't nightmares usually bad B?"

She blushes slightly and smiles sheepishly; it makes me feel kinda relaxed.

"Sorry." She says and I nod a smirk daring to come.

"It's just dark." I utter and realize myself I don't even know what the nightmares are about, are they even nightmares?

I mean it's only when I close my eyes, the feelings I get like I'm back to being dead. Can't say I could see those feelings becoming a good dream – they're heading only one way and I'm set on not waking up thinking I'm fucking dead again.

She nods and I find myself talking without my own consent. "Hard to explain I guess."

"You don't need to, I understand Faith."

I know she doesn't, even she knows she doesn't, although she's about as close as I'm gunna get to anyone understanding so I merely nod and rest my head on my knees – her hand moves and the warmth that had spread over my body disappears, leaving me feeling cold.

She stands and I can't help but look at her, trying to decipher if she's gunna leave.

Her hand reaches out and she smiles. "Well you can't sleep and I can't sleep, so how about we go down stairs and drink massive amounts of coffee?"

Not exactly vodka and shots but hey next best thing.

I take her hand slowly and she pulls me to my feet, not letting go as she starts to lead both of us towards the door. I don't mind really – can't stand up properly as it is and the last thing I need is B seeing me fucking swooning to the floor like some fainting moron.

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"So do you take sugar with your coffee?" She asks when we reach the kitchen. "Milk?"

"Anything's good B."

She nods and waits for me to sit at the table before quickly going over and pulling two white mugs from the cupboard, its dark, no lights have been turned on and she fumbles slightly as she places them on the table.

"If this doesn't work and we find ourselves all sleep-y again, we'll move on to sugar."

I smile at her words and she turns around, the mugs held firmly within her hands as she places one in front of me. I grab it slowly wrapping my fingers around the sides, I don't mind the burning as my skin heats up – least it's not cold; I'm done with being cold.

She stays standing and merely sips her coffee slowly; I know she's watching me. She has been all night. Although something in me doesn't care that she hasn't taken her eyes off me, it's kinda comforting I guess – I don't know.

"Mmm." She says and I see her smile like a fool.

I take a sip of my own drink, the liquid burning at my lips although I ignore it as I make to mock B. "Mmm."

I attempt a goofy smile and hear her laugh softly.

"Are you mocking me?"

"Bet I am B."

Another giggle from her and I find myself wishing I could hear it again, I simply hide the smile tugging at my lips as I swallow a mouthful of coffee. I'm not gunna lie, I still feel like shit – though parts of it seem to fade when B's around. Like just having her next to me or close can take away some of the coldness that seems to have infected me. I don't know. Maybe I'm being stupid; brain probably got stuffed up when I died.

Died

It just doesn't seem right.

I know it is, Fuck, there's no way I could forget all the blood…my blood.

Taking out by some shit eating vamp – I didn't even go down in a halo of spectacular heroism. Merely caught off guard, outnumbered. Buffy helped me though – Slayed easily the vampires I let best me. Wish I could have thanked her out loud although I only managed a smile. Girl had speed though – dropped to the ground like someone had knocked the wind outta her. Can't say having her hold me wasn't consoling though – made dying easier in a fucked up sorta way.

I don't know, maybe I'm turning soft or something.

"You okay?" Oh shit, have I been thinking this whole time? "Faith?"

"Gotta stop asking me that B, gettin' to sound like a record on repeat." I choke out, it's strained and damn do I sound like I've inhaled a bucket of dust or something.

She nods and I can tell she's studying everything I do so I look down at my mug. "I'm just concerned Faith, It's not every day you get brought back to life – it's not something any of us has done before, it's big you know?"

"Yeah, B." I shrug my shoulders out of habit probably because the moment doesn't call for shoulder shrugging. "Takes a lot outta a girl being dead, then…not being dead."

"Do you feel okay?" Her voice almost cuts me with how much worry she has, I smirk, she frowns at my attempt. "Faith?"

Another shrug from me. "I'm good B, just trying to deal y'know. Like you said not every day you get brought back to life."

She nods at my answer and places her empty mug on the table, I note mines still pretty much full.

"If you think it'll help, I am always available to talk." She says and I want to scream yet hug her because she's being so fucking sweet, I settle for a more Faith approach and plaster on a 'eat shit' smirk.

"Thanks B, but I'm not a word person." It's not meant to reject her offer and for a moment she looks slightly baffled though giving me that good old Buffy smile she nods.

"I know Faith." I look at her. "But a person can change."

God could she get any more friendly?

The girls' reaching out a fucking olive branch and all I can do is stare at her.

I'm messed up.

So messed up.

Was before I died, now look at me!

I swallow thickly – for some reason this seems to be another thing I mess up as I cough slightly.

She smiles, it's intended and I feel like I'm falling – damn her and her fucking ability to make people talk!

"I think the spell mucked up, I think something's wrong with me."

Her face becomes suddenly serious and she moves closer to me, it's silent and we seem to just stare at one another, seconds passing, minutes.

Her breath escapes almost cut up as she whispers into the dark kitchen. "Why?"

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A/N: What is wrong with me!!?? I have again left it open for another chapter, ahhh! Lol. But seriously if you want me to continue I would love a review or two.