Author's Note: I wish this site would allow me more formatting! It would make the 'code' bits of this story stand out so much better if they were in courier, or something similar. Anyway, onwards. It seems everyone approves of the cameo by Gerhardt and Sergei in this chapter. As I said to my reviewers, everything is better with dinosaurs. Now, it's time for the first hints of what is to come...
And before everyone asks, no I haven't got the title of this chapter wrong...
Saving Private Soldierbot
Chapter Five: Insert Title Here
Engineer Dell was working on a practical problem, as he enjoyed doing. This one was sort-of his own fault, but it was an interesting conundrum and could result in a whole load of further research if it went well.
He stood back and looked at his creation. The colour was wrong, somehow. It was a perfect match, but it looked...wrong.
"Hey, hardhat?"
"Howdy, Flappy." He smiled with pleasure at the sound of his friend's voice. "C'mon in."
Predictably enough, Scoutbot had already pushed open the door without asking by this point. He padded in, but rather than take his usual perch on the workbench, he prowled around the room uncertainly.
"Problem, son?"
"Huh? Yeah...well, no. Not really. I mean, no, no problem. I'm cool. It's...what the flying fuck is that?!" He pointed with at Engineer's latest creation.
"Oh, my latest project." Dell held up the severed human hand proudly. He pushed his metal fingers inside the stump and the fingers wiggled. "Artificial hand. Latex and silicone rubber mix, with gel packs deeper inside to give it the right feel. I like my metal one, but I thought this might come in handy- pun intended- if I want to go out in public without a glove on."
Scoutbot craned closer, his head cocked on one side. "Oh...yeah, it's false, right?"
"See, that's the problem." Engineer put the hand down. "It don't look properly real yet. I got the colour matched, even added little hairs just like mine, but heck, it still don't look right."
"Creepy." Scoutbot gave it a poke, watching how it yielded to his fingers just like normal human flesh. "Dude, I reckon you got it too perfect. I mean, I'm shiny and one colour all over, but humans are speckly, wrinkly an' shit. You gotta mix some crappy bits into the colour, that'd sort it."
"Dang it, boy, you're good at this! I reckon you're right." Engineer said happily, turning the severed limb over and over. "You got a good eye there. So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Uh... like I said..." Scoutbot muttered, shrugging with a squeak. Engineer smiled to himself. He had never had any difficulty reading people, and even though Scoutbot's face was expressionless, he was still so very easy to read. Poor kid. "I just came over to... to... uh..."
"Well, let me fix that squeaky joint anyway. Sit yourself down." Dell gestured at a chair. "What did I tell you about keepin' those joints lubricated?" He wandered over to a shelf to get his lithium grease.
"I know, I know. It started squeakin' in front of Medic Albrecht, y'know? He made this expression at the noise, like he'd sucked a lemon. I said I needed lubrication, so he gave me this tube of stuff, saying he just wanted me to stop makin' 'zat atrocious din'."
Dell's arm slowly dropped to his side. "You don't say?"
"It was no good though. Didn't do jack-shit."
"You...used it?" Engineer asked, trying hard not to laugh. It wasn't like Medic to pull practical jokes, but there is no way that could have been an honest mistake. The man could have a weird sense of humour at times. "Now hold out that arm. I, ah, well, don't think what Medic gave you was really meant for robots."
"No? What's that stuff for then?"
Aiming his can of spray grease carefully, Dell explained a few of the uses of medical lubricant. Scoutbot shuddered with a rattling noise.
"Dude. Gross."
"I think he was havin' a joke at your expense." Dell explained. "I'll have a word with him. That kinda thing just ain't on in my book."
"You're gonna yell at him?" Scoutbot asked.
"Something like that." Dell explained. He smiled at the robot. "If folks mess with you, they mess with me. You're a good friend and I know you got my back should I need it. You and me against the world, right pardner? Other arm now. So, you ready to tell me what's eating you now?"
"Uh..." Scoutbot slumped over in defeat, looking at his swinging feet. "Nothin'. I'm good."
"I was talking to Engineer Jed this morning. Bobby and Rick are fine, recovering well, 'cept for Bobby gettin' a nasty cold." Dell said idly.
"Good. Yeah."
"It'll take time for everyone to accept you, Scoutbot." Dell said softly, carefully spraying grease into the robot's elbow. "Not everyone accepts the unusual and the strange right away, but you got friends here. Don't ever doubt it."
There was silence for a moment as Dell moved on to the robot's hand joints. He rattled the can, and sprayed it with a hiss.
"Dell?"
"Yeah, son?"
"You know, those other robots. Gray Mann's. What were they like?"
"You met enough of them yourself, surely?"
"Yeah, but I know jack-shit about machines. How were they built? You ever get to... study one?"
"Huh. Well, I took a look at the ones that shut down when you shot Gray Mann." Dell said thoughtfully, sitting back and rubbing his hands on a rag. "We got them in storage downstairs. Never found a use for 'em. Unlike you, they run on a combination of an Australium core starter and a two-stroke gas engine. It means they can go longer without recharging, but it's fearful expensive to keep them running. You're all-round better made - tighter parameters, better machining and so on. They were mass-produced without much care at all. Their programming's terrible. Dumb as a box of rocks, they are."
"Yeah, I remember that." Scoutbot said with a half-chuckle. "Funny that- what with them being based on me, cos, you know, I'm smart."
"I got a theory about that." Dell replied, putting the grease back on its shelf. "I've wondered, sometimes, if all your processin' power is there, just not bein' used. A blank slate behind all that bad programmin'."
"Could...could it be woken up? Could one of them become smart?"
"Only way I can think that could happen is if their programming got corrupted somehow. Say, a sudden power outage, water getting inside their processor casing, a logical fail, lightning strike, something like that. Perhaps even a blow to the head!"
"Huh." Scoutbot said thoughtfully. Engineer looked at him worriedly. It wasn't like any scout, mechanical or otherwise, to be this thoughtful and quiet.
"Mind if I give ya some advice, Scoutbot?"
"Go for it, hardhat."
"Get yourself a name, son. 'Scoutbot' is just a label. You need a name, like the rest of us. I think it'll make a difference."
"A name?" Scoutbot said in puzzlement. "Can't see that'll do any good."
"Just give it a bit of thought, Flappy. You deserve a name."
"Yeah...yeah ok, I'll do that. Hey, Engie?"
"Yep?"
"You got a spare car battery 'round here?" Scoutbot asked, trying to look innocent. Dell turned to look at him with a wry smile.
"Now why exactly would you need one of those? You're not going off jacking cars with your Scout pals, are ya?"
"How do you know about...I mean, no! 'Course not. Anyway, I'd not need a car battery for that. I'd need a coat hanger, insulating tape, wire strippers and a set of pliers. Uh, so I heard." He said, swinging his arms wide innocently. "I just got a, uh, project I wanna try. It's...a surprise."
"Is it illegal?" Dell asked suspiciously. "Will it harm anyone?"
"What? No! Jeez, it's like you don't trust me at all."
"Aw heck, I'd trust you with my life, son." Dell gave the boy a friendly pat on his shoulder and grinned. "Just not sure I'd trust you with my tech."
"I am your tech, dumbass."
Dell laughed out loud. "You got me there! Ok, let me find a good 'un for ya." He strolled over to a cupboard and hefted a battery out. "This 'un is for a diesel engine. Good cold cranking amps, nice an' strong. Should last a while. Bring it back when it needs recharging."
"Sure thing." Scoutbot gave a nod and accepted the battery with a grunt.
"Good luck. And be careful!"
"Thanks, dude." Scoutbot gave a wave and left.
Dell looked down at the prosthetic limb he had been working on, deep in thought. Scoutbot was up to something; he was certain of that much. His one remaining real hand itched with a desire to go and spy on him, but he stopped himself for two reasons. First, he was not a Spy, and secondly, it was about time someone showed the robot a little trust around here. Poor fella- he had saved all their lives, but he was still an outsider to many of the folks here.
What in Sam-Hill did he want a car battery for, anyway? Hmm. Engineer decided the best approach was to wait and see what happened next.
Later in his extraordinarily long life, Dell Conagher would look back upon that moment as a time when he had really, really, dropped the ball, and wonder how he could have been so stupid.
Scoutbot did not know the meaning of the word 'introspection', and wouldn't have recognised that he wasn't very introspective by nature because, logically, realising that would have required a measure of introspection. So, instead, he found himself stashing his car battery in his room before returning to work that day, and wondering why the hell he hadn't beaten the snot out of Engineer Dell for keeping a robot head alive in his workshop. It just...hadn't happened. Fucking jerk had just been too nice!
During the day, he acted as a messenger for the Institute, zipping between the various islands and building sites and carrying messages and materials. Normally, speeding through the air over the sparkling blue sea was distraction enough, but today he couldn't concentrate. He kept thinking back to that robot head in the cupboard. Could it become more than just a machine? Someone like him?
Since the robots had all been designed after his own plans, did that make him...sort of responsible for them?
"Leetle robot is quiet." Tiny Vlad said, clutched in his metal hands as he transported the shrunken man back to the main island of the Institute. While everyone else used teleporters, Tiny Vlad had an understandable dislike of them, and he was small enough to carry anyway.
"Huh? Normally you complain that I talk too much."
"You do. Is annoying, but normal for you. Quiet Scoutbot is troubled Scoutbot, I am thinking."
"Ah, jeez. Just let me do my job, ok?" The Russian just gave a mutter of laughter as they came into land on the top of the main building and he was carefully lowered to the ground.
"Be happy, Scoutbot. We are in good place to solve problems, da?"
"Shit, dude. How can you say that when it was an accident here that turned you into a shrimp?"
"I am leetle, not seafood." Vlad replied evenly.
"Well, just don't let anyone tred on ya."
"Last time that happened, I punched their foot and broke it." Vlad replied with a grin. "Demo had limp for days because Doktor would not heal it."
"Uh, good." Scoutbot said. "Seriously, though, you doin' ok? Can't be easy."
Tiny Vlad shrugged and gave a slight smile. "Will be better when I am big again. Leetle Heavy is not so useful, and I miss Sasha so much. Sometimes, I get angry but cannot even crush things to feel better! But, there are people who have worst lives. This is good place to live, after all. There is sunshine, I have plenty of food, and my Doktor is here."
"Huh. You got the patience of a fucking saint." Scoutbot commented.
"At end of today, Jacques, Lawrence and Vlad are having poker game on beach." Tiny Vlad said, changing the subject. "You want to join? Is game for us strange people, but we let Sniper come anyway."
"Well, he is pretty fuckin' strange." Scoutbot replied. "But...I got things to do, sorry dude. Next time."
"Da, we will miss you."
"Huh, you just want another person to fleece! You're too damn good at poker. Anyway, enjoy yourselves."
The rest of the day dragged on, no more eventful than normal. Admittedly, a normal day at the Institute meant explosions, 'accidental' fires and a lot of shouting, but Scoutbot barely noticed. He had got the battery. If he wanted to, he could get that stupid robot head working again. The idea simply would not leave his mind and kept pestering him through the day. Each hour took an eternity to pass, and Scoutbot realised he couldn't wait for the end of the day.
Did it really try to say 'Don't leave me'? Did I really hear that? Robots can't imagine stuff, can they?
He was going to go back and see the Soldierbot again, wasn't he? Fuck it. It was like he had no choice. Maybe it was fate, or some such shit. It was that squid's fault. Why did Jacques have to complicate his life? It had been awesome before all this!
Hadn't it?
Once night had fallen, Scoutbot sneaked off to the teleporter and soon found himself back in Violet Engineer's old workshop again. The metal cupboard with its broken padlock was just as he had left it, and he quickly opened it and replaced the old battery with the new one, making a mental note to charge the old battery up so he could swap them as needed. He attached the second crocodile clip, and then stood back.
...Rebooting after power fail...
...Attempting to recover lost data...
...ERROR: Data Corrupt...
...ERROR: Data Corrupt...
...Repairing bad data...
...ERROR: Checksum fail...
...ERROR: Checksum fail...
...Deleting damaged data...
...Formatting...100% done...
...WARNING: Failed to connect to network...Retrying...
...WARNING: Failed to connect to network...Retrying...
...WARNING: Failed to connect to network...Retrying...
...WARNING: Failed to connect to network...Retrying...
...ERROR: Connection failed after four retries...
...Sound event recorded...
...Visual event recorded...
...What?
"Beep boop, maggots."
"Great. You're still dumb." Scoutbot said. He picked up the head and placed it on top of its metal prison.
"Halt! Friend or foe?"
"Not this again. Look, asshat, I'm here to help. You and I, we're two of a kind. So you gotta cut out that programmed crap, right?"
"Halt! Friend or foe?"
"Hey, pay attention to me! Are you even listenin'?"
"Halt! Friend or foe?"
"Ah, jeez, ok, ok, friend."
"I am a robot."
"Yeah, so am I. You remember? I came here last night."
"Beep?"
"Whatever." Scoutbot sighed, fidgeting on the spot for a moment and looking down at his jointed hands. He had to admit he was completely out of his depth here. He knew fuck-all about programming, and that was a fact.
"You...came back." The robot suddenly set in its flat, emotionless voice.
Scoutbot looked up at the head. "Yeah. Yeah, I came back."
"You are a robot."
"Yeah, I'm a robot, like you. So, what's your name?"
"Soldierbot, 8825d-121, rank, Private."
"Your name sucks."
"Designation changed: This unit's name is now Ucks."
"What? Hell no!" Scoutbot tapped his fingers for a moment. "That's a shitty name."
"Designation changed: This unit's name is now Shitty Ucks."
Scoutbot looked at the Soldierbot and started to laugh.
"Warning: Speech recognition failed."
"I was laughing, dude."
"Laughing." The robot stated. Scoutbot could not tell if it was puzzled by the word or the idea, or even if it was puzzled at all, or just repeating him.
"Ah, jeez. Look, I know, I'm gonna call you Eagle, 'cos Soldier loves eagles and all that patriotic shit. So, your name's Eagle, ok?"
"Designation changed: This unit's name is now Eagle, ok."
"No, just Eagle. Your name's Eagle."
"Designation changed: This unit's name is now Eagle." Soldierbot said.
"You know, I think this is gonna be fun."
"What is your name?" Eagle suddenly asked. Scoutbot looked back in surprise.
"I'm called Scoutbot."
"Error: class given as name."
"Nah, Scoutbot kinda is my name." Scoutbot insisted.
"Error: class given as name."
"You're a persistent little bastard."
"No."
"No? What d'ya mean?" Scoutbot asked curiously.
"No. I am Eagle."
Scoutbot looked at the robot, feeling a little thrill of hope. Engineer was right. There's something more under that shitty programming. There's...a person. Someone just like me. He had suddenly been handed something to do; something worthwhile. He hadn't even realised he had been missing direction, but now he had a mission:
Saving Private Soldierbot.
In Chapter Six: Scoutbot finds out more about Soldierbot's past from Jacques.
