Chapter Seven
Addison got ready in a hurry. She had sent the text telling Spencer to come over earlier without really thinking, then immediately kicked herself for sounding desperate. After staring at his reply in disbelief for a few minutes, she flung herself off the bed and tore open her closet doors. Monica had left to go see a movie with friends, so she was completely on her own. After trying on a handful of outfits and standing like a flamingo in front of her mirror to decide on shoes, Addison ultimately settled on a lacy coral tank top, denim shorts, and white sandals. It was the middle of summer and since she had a tendency to sweat profusely when she was nervous – God, I am just irresistible, aren't it?—layers weren't really an option.
She braided her long bangs and pinned them back with a bobby pin, leaving the rest of her hair down. Just as she was spritzing herself with perfume, she heard a knock at the door. She checked her face in the mirror one last time – That damned bruise—before rushing to the living room to open the door. With a deep breath, she turned the doorknob and swung the door open. Reid had both hands in his pockets, but he immediately took one out to offer his hand in another shake, just as he had done at the bar.
"It's great to see you again Spencer. Come on in!" Addison stepped to the side to make room for him in the small entryway of her apartment. As she reached past him to close the door, he inhaled her faint vanilla perfume. Once the door was closed, she looked up at him with a sweet smile and shrugged her shoulders, as if to ask him what he wanted to do. All he could do was impolitely stare at what appeared to be a large purple bruise on her chin.
"Oh! Yeah. I should have warned you about that before you had to look at it, I know it's pretty ugly." she joked as she self-consciously put her small hand on her face.
"No, it's not—you're not—you look very pretty—I mean, you just—Can I ask what happened?"
Addison felt her skin flushing when he said the word pretty. It was lost in a sea of awkward stutters, but he said it.
"I'm guessing Emily didn't tell you what I do for work?"
"Uh no, she neglected to mention that you're a boxer in addition to being a waitress." Addison laughed, and as she laughed she took her hand off her chin and brushed his upper arm without thinking.
"Yes because I'm so tough and intimidating right? No, I work with severely abused children in a treatment center. One of them just head-butted me last night during a tantrum."
Spencer was shocked. At the BAU, he had spent so much of his time hunting dangerous adults who had been abused growing up. It stunned him to realize that he hadn't given much thought to what these adults would have been like as children.
"It's really worse than it looks though," Addison continued with a shrug, "I'm really surprised my legs don't look worse to be honest. Before the chin thing, he broke his door down and was slamming me in the shins with the bottom of it."
He looked down at her tan legs and, indeed, there were a few large scrapes and bruises on them as well. Addison noticed him looking and instantly apologized for her appearance.
"I didn't ask you out because of your scrape-free legs, Addison." Spencer offered gently, surprising himself with this sudden onset of confident charm.
"Well that's good because I'm sure they won't look much better the next time you see me."
Next time? She wants there to be a next time already? Should I say something? How soon is too soon to make a second date? 5 minutes into the first one is probably too soon. Maybe if I—
"And everyone calls me Addie, remember? Now, where to first? 4:45 is a little early for dinner but there's a great ice cream stand a few blocks from here if that sounds okay?"
"Dessert before dinner?"
"I live on the edge, Doctor," Addison said with a smirk as she put a pair of gold aviator sunglasses on and led Spencer out of her apartment and into the sunshine.
"So, did you grow up around here?" Addison asked Spencer through a mouthful of mango sorbet. Did you know that mango trees can grow to be over 100 feet high?
"Actually I'm from Las Vegas." Addison looked up at him and stifled a giggle.
"What is it? I'm not cool enough to be from Vegas?"
"I mean, the whole '3 PhDs' thing doesn't really mesh with the whole 'Sin City' thing, but also… you've got a huge thing of ice cream right in the middle of your chin."
Spencer shook his head and sighed at his complete lack of grace. Noticing his frustration, Addison took a spoonful of her own ice cream and placed a generous dollop right on the tip of her nose. His face instantly broke into a warm smile as he looked into her grass-green eyes. He heard himself laugh loudly and was taken aback by the sound. If only I could tell her how long it's been since someone genuinely made me laugh.
Being silly with someone was a foreign concept to Spencer. His awkward tendencies and endless trivia usually caused him to be the butt of nearly every joke at the office but with Addison, those things felt like strengths rather than flaws. It was too soon to be thinking so seriously about someone, but oh, how good it felt to be with someone who accepted him. He didn't feel the same comfort that he felt when Gideon was still on the team, but listening to her warm and unapologetic laughter made him feel like he was getting closer.
Spencer and Addison walked alongside each other from the ice cream shop to a book store, then to a small art gallery before finally making it to the restaurant. They talked for hours. He talked about his childhood (the nicer details, anyway) and what it was like going to high school before barely reaching puberty. They talked about the team at the BAU and how Morgan wasn't really as sleazy as he seemed, how Rossi was new but already fitting in with almost everyone, and how Emily could speak multiple languages. She told him more about her job- how she had worked there for almost three years and had endured a broken nose, multiple bites and pulled-out chunks of hair, and one instance of a 12-year-old boy trying to push her down a flight of stairs. She joked about wondering what it says about her that she loves her job. But when she talked about loving the kids, Spencer could hear the tenacity in her voice saying she meant it.
When they finally left the restaurant, the sun was almost completely set. The sky was cast with orange and pink, and the few clouds in the sky looked as though they were lined with liquid gold. As they walked next to each other, Addison's knuckles kept bumping and grazing the back of Spencer's hand. Each time they touched, he stopped himself from grabbing her hand. It's too soon. You're not ready. If she knew about the dilaudid and the schizophrenic mother and everything else, she'd run anyways. What am I even doing trying to date someone so kind and so beautiful and so… normal?
"You okay?" Addison asked softly, her eyes slightly narrowed with worry as she stopped to look up at him. He had been silent for a bit too long, gutlessly considering faking a headache and leaving. It'll be better this way. You can't date someone. You can't even stand to be with yourself right now. All of his logic and knowledge and education was practically screaming at him that this was wrong.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just…" His voice trailed off, searching for the right way to end the date early.
"Spencer. I'm not a profiler but I can tell when someone is upset. What is it? Did I… did I do something wrong? I thought we were having fun but if you're not—"
He heard the disappointment in her voice and immediately caved.
"No, I'm having a great time with you. Really."
She smiled. Relieved.
"Okay, so then what is it?"
Spencer put his hands in his pockets and walked a few steps ahead of her. Boldly, Addison walked ahead and placed one of her hands tenderly in the crook of his elbow. She stayed silently behind him. Supportive. Gentle. Just as she had been with her friend who was sick. She wasn't asking anything of him in that moment, except maybe each time her hand gave his arm a gentle squeeze she was asking him please don't go.
"I've, uh… I've got a lot going on. Some things have happened recently and I just don't know if… If this is a good idea. For me. Or for you."
Addison took a step to face him. She let go of his arm. Not because she was hurt, even though she was, but because she wanted to be respectful.
"I get it. I mean, I don't get exactly what you're going through, and I'm not going to force you to talk about it. I just…"
She paused and looked down at the ground. Her breathing was shaky.
"What?" Spencer asked eagerly. He placed a hand on her shoulder in the hopes that it would get her to look up at him again. He knew it was wrong, but he was half hoping she would say something that would convince him to stay. He knew he wasn't ready for it to begin, but he also couldn't stand the idea of never seeing her again.
"I just really like you, Spence. But I won't ask you to do anything that you aren't ready for. That's not fair to you. I wish I could help you with whatever it is that you're going through. If you ever want to talk, you have my number."
With that, Addison gave a polite smile and turned to leave. Spencer let his hand trail down her shoulder to her hand. He held onto it for a few seconds before pulling her into his chest with a strength that amazed him. She gasped softly as he brushed her hair off of her cheek. She took his face in her soft hands and tilted his head to look into his eyes.
"Spence, you don't have to—"
With both hands on her waist, Spencer leaned into her until their foreheads were touching. He took a deep breath, taking in her simple vanilla perfume and the warm summer air. With his eyes closed, he parted his lips and placed them gently on her mouth. Addison stood on her tip-toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. His hands moved from her waist to her back and her shoulders until she was completely wrapped in his arms. The kisses were soft but deep and full of passion. Just moments ago, Spencer was thinking of how to end the date, and now he was thinking of how he never wanted this feeling to end. He hadn't felt like a whole person since his encounter with Tobias Hankel, and he wasn't naïve enough to think that something as simple as a beautiful kiss with a beautiful girl could fix him so quickly.
But maybe JJ had been right; maybe it was a good place to start.
