Author's Note: So here's the next one. Glad you're all enjoying this crazy little fic so far. I honestly didn't expect such a following around it, but it's great as a writer to see others finding joy in your work. Things become a little more complicated in this next one, but don't lose faith :) As always, let me know what you think and enjoy.


"Still no word then, eh?"

She sighs, leaning back in her office chair and resting her hands behind her head. It's been over a week and she hasn't received so much as a text from the blonde that she'd made out with against the door to her apartment. She decided that giving Delphine space and time was probably the best decision, but after four days without a single word, she caved and texted her doctor a single phrase.

"Are we okay?"

There was no response.

"Nope," she answers, shaking her head. "And I'm supposed to meet with her in the morning. I'm due for another round of tests."

"Well, you'll get the chance to talk it out tomorrow. Bright side, yeah?" Sarah says, attempting to lift the scientist's spirits.

"That's if she's still my doctor. For all I know, she could have asked Doctor Leekie to be reassigned. It'd probably be the most appropriate course of action after I stuck my tongue down her throat."

"It takes two to tango, Cos. You said she kissed you back, and she was definitely sending you vibes at the bar. Even Beth picked up on it. It isn't your fault."

"Yeah, but I should have known better. I was stupid and naive. She's my doctor and I'm her subject. I knew it was a bad idea but I didn't want to listen to logic. And the most fucked up thing is that even though I knew it was a bad idea, it didn't feel like one, you know? It didn't feel wrong."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," she hears Felix cry out in the background. "Blondie's totally into you."

"Exactly," Sarah reinforces. "You probably just caught her off guard and she freaked. She's probably never even snogged a girl before. It's kinda a huge step, not only snogging a girl, but snogging a girl that happens to be your subject. Bit of a mind fuck."

"I guess I'll find out tomorrow," she mumbles.

"Okay. Well, I have some shit to sort out. I'll talk to you later. Let me know how it goes, yeah?"

"Yeah. Right. See you later."

Cosima presses a button on her laptop and the video chat closes. She reaches for the spliff that's resting on her desk, placing it between her lips and inhaling deeply as she lights it, pulling the smoke into the chamber of her lungs and holding it there. She can't help but feel like a total fool, like she messed everything up between her and Delphine. The thought of losing the doctor for good sends an icy chill down her spine; Delphine was the first person she ever met that she was able to really connect with. She can't bear the thought of losing that because she couldn't keep it in her pants. She exhales a long, hazy breath, watching as the smoke rises into the air and eventually disperses.

"But was I really so wrong?" she asks herself.

She had seen it in Delphine's eyes. She was so damn certain. Sarah and Felix and even Beth had seen it, too. They couldn't all be delusional. Was Sarah right? Did she just catch the doctor off guard? Right or wrong, the only thing she really knows is that they have to clear the air between them, that they have to sort things out. She can't just pretend like it never happened.

Delphine has gotten too far inside for that.


Cosima's standing in front of Delphine's office, head hanging low, debating whether or not to knock. She could always lie, say that something came up and reschedule her appointment, but she'd still have to face Delphine eventually and the uncertainty was eating at her like a particularly malignant form of cancer. She knocks softly on the door three times and then pauses, giving the blonde a moment to compose herself if necessary. She takes a deep breath, expels it, then reaches for the knob and pushes the door open, sliding in.

She's met with a strange wave of relief when she sees Delphine on the other side of the door. She had feared that the doctor may have requested to be removed from her case, but apparently she wasn't so easily deterred, which gave Cosima a sense of hope. The doctor is seated behind her desk, chewing on her bottom lip a little harder than usual.

"Uh, hey," Cosima musters, attempting to permeate the awkward tension.

Delphine looks up, but she doesn't greet the clone with one of her disarming smiles as she usually does. She simply nods, motioning for Cosima to take a seat adjacent to her. The brunette crosses her arms over her chest, trying to hide the offense that the doctor's cold welcome has inflicted. Delphine shuffles through a few beige folders before she finally finds the one she's looking for. She flips it open and proceeds with the first question.

"Have you been experiencing any sort of physical-"

"Excuse me?"

Delphine stops, finally looking up from her files to engage the brunette for the first time since their kiss. When she sees the equally pained and pissed off expression on Cosima's face, she swallows her own emotions and starts once again.

"Have you been experiencing any-"

"Are you fucking serious?"

The tone in Cosima's voice is one she's not used to hearing. Prior to that very moment, only sweetness had been reserved for her. In fact, she's never heard the dreadlocked girl take on an angry tone at all, but as the two sit across from each other, Delphine averting her eyes in shame and Cosima glaring dangerously, the blonde knows she's in for a hurricane of fire and fury.

"Cosima-"

"Don't even."

Delphine sighs.

"What do you want me to say?"

Cosima begins to laugh in disbelief, as if the blonde is completely clueless. They both know better, though. Delphine is no fool and the clone refuses to allow her doctor to play the part; it's far too easy and far too insulting.

"Oh, I don't know," Cosima begins, making no attempt to hide her anger or annoyance. "Maybe something about last week? You know, when we kissed? That might be a good place to start."

She stares expectantly at the French woman, waiting for her to speak, to justify her behaviour. Delphine rakes a hand through her tresses, then brings it down to cover her mouth, meeting Cosima's angry gaze from the safety provided to her by the large, glass desk which separates them. Cosima's anger is like a hot iron rod, branding her a liar, a traitor. While the brunette normally finds the doctor's puppy dog eyes to be endearing, she has lost the patience for them. There is no more room for feigning ignorance or pleading forgiveness. She needs an explanation.

"There's nothing to talk about," the doctor finally says.

Cosima shakes her head, trying to shed the insult and disappointment the blonde has bombarded her with. She leans in closer, her eyes serious and penetrating but her voice low and shaking.

"Are you honestly gonna sit there and tell me that that kiss didn't mean anything to you?"

Delphine bites down on her lip even harder. Cosima is wounded and its a wound she never wished or intended to inflict. She was her doctor, after all. It was her job to prevent the wounds and treat them when they did occur, not cause the lacerations herself and then proceed to rub salt in them.

"I didn't say that," she replies, lowering her voice into a soft whisper and mirroring the clone's previous action, leaning a little closer towards Cosima. "It's just... it can't happen again."

Cosima shifts in her seat, blinking rapidly, as if she is unable to process Delphine's words. She heard them, but still has trouble actually believing them. How could she, when the doctor's mouth said one thing and her eyes said another?

"It isn't professional," Delphine justifies.

"Yeah, well, neither is showing up at my school," Cosima snaps. "Neither is eating truffles and smoking a joint with me. Neither is going out for drinks with me and my friends-"

"I know that!"

The worst part is that Cosima knows the doctor is right. It isn't professional. She never should have held her hand at Nuit Blanche, or brought her that stupid eskimo pie, or invited her to smoke a joint and look at stars with her. She knows full well that they both crossed the line, but she wanted to believe that it didn't matter because in those moments spent with the doctor, Delphine really made her believe that it didn't.

Delphine inhales a deep breath before slowly expelling it, centering herself. She stands up, venturing around her desk until she's standing directly in front of Cosima.

"I'm your monitor. It's my job to observe your progress, to remain objective. I can't do my job and kiss you at the same time, Cosima," she says gently. "I can't sit here, taking your blood and asking you all these question when the only thing on my mind is how you taste and how you smell and how you feel. You're a scientist, Cosima. You understand the importance of integrity. This data is sensitive. We can't risk corrupting-"

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever. You've made your point."

Her words are low and bitter, a painful acceptance. Delphine sighs, her shoulders dropping as she watches her subject slowly deflate and accept defeat. She reaches out for Cosima, desperate to make her understand, because she doesn't think that the brunette really does.

"Cosima-"

"I'm just your subject," Cosima cuts her off.

She stands up so that she is somewhat level with Delphine, or as level as she can be with their height difference. Her eyes are a strange combination of hot and cold, of glass and metal, transparent and opaque at the very same time; she tries her hardest to keep her composure and muffle her emotions, but the blonde can see the hurt bubbling beneath the surface.

"I'm just some freak experiment. Because I'm not a person, because I don't have feelings or dreams of my own-"

"I never said that!" Delphine shouts, unable to listen to the brunette's self-deprecation for a second longer.

"But you did! You did say that!" Cosima shouts back, matching Delphine. "You wanna pretend like you don't feel it, like we don't mean anything to each other, like I'm just your project? Do you have any idea how insulting that is? We can't just pretend, Delphine. Not anymore. Not now that we know what this is."

Her eyes meet the doctor's, pleading and wavering and searching for acknowledgment. Delphine wants to oblige her, to tell her that she's right because they both know that she is, but she simply can't; admitting it would be the end, would lead to a far worse pain than the one they're both experiencing now.

"Well, we'll have to try."

The impact of her words sting, leaving a heavy impression on the brunette. She finds herself on the verge of tears and unable to be in Delphine's presence anymore, so she makes a beeline towards the door. Seeing this, Delphine manages to catch her arm.

"Cosima-"

"Just... don't," Cosima warns, whipping around. "Don't call me anymore. Don't show up at my school. Don't show up in my life. We'll see each other in this room every other month and as far as you're concerned, I don't exist outside of these walls. Okay? Does that make you happy? Is that professional enough for you?"

It's the European's turn to plead upon realizing the scope of the damage done. She had never imagined that such malice would be directed at her. She had never imagined that such malice even existed in the petite brunette and that she would be the one to bring it out of dormancy. It made her feel weak and nauseous.

"Cosima, emplease/em."

It's too late. The clone is through the door, slamming it behind her. Delphine considers following her, but making a scene in the halls of the institute doesn't seem like such a good idea to her, so she lets Cosima go and falls back into her chair, burying her face in her hands, unable to shake the feeling like she has just made a terrible mistake.


She's reclining in her bathtub, shielded from the world by a thin layer of bubbles and the scent of lavender, attempting to soak away the events of the day. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees Cosima's own glossy ones staring back at her, hears her wavering voice, feels all the anger and hurt and confusion directed at her. She brings her hand to her lips, dragging her fingertips across them as she remembers the feel of Cosima's; soft yet firm, warm and tantalizing and demanding all at the same time. She's been replaying that moment in her head from the very second she pulled away, unable to purge it from her memory.

She had liked kissing Cosima.

Even though she knew it wasn't the wisest decision, her body received Cosima as if it was born to do so, as if it was all so natural. If she had blocked out the nagging voice in the back of her head, the one that sounded eerily similar to Leekie's, then she knew she would have ended up in Cosima's bed that night. That's what scared her.

She lived a life guided by boundaries, by paths to be followed and lines never to be crossed. Cosima turned this entire notion upside down and had her questioning every choice she ever made. She had always done as she was told with the faith that she would someday find a higher meaning in her actions, but she had felt a greater sense of purpose against Cosima's door with the clone's lips on hers than she ever had by following the path lined out for her.

"I'm just some freak experiment."

Her heart painfully throbs at the thought. The truth is, she sees Cosima as the complete opposite. She is so much more than just an experiment. Hell, she is so much more than just a human. She is the embodiment of light and Delphine, like a flower in a dark room, found herself constantly leaning towards her.

She rises from the tub, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body as she bends over to pull the plug out of the drain, watching the water slowly decrease until it vanishes completely down the drain. She pulls the clip from her hair, allowing her golden locks to descend and she runs a hand through them, releasing a heavy sigh. She thought that pushing Cosima away would somehow be easier than letting her get any closer then she already was, but she was wrong. As she slides into her bed, trying to convince herself that Cosima will be fine, that she'll get over it eventually and be better off for it, she realizes just how bad of a liar she really is. Her mother had always told her this, that she would make a lousy spy because her true intentions always shone through her eyes and were present with every subtle lip bite. She wonders if Cosima saw them as she lied through her teeth earlier, trying to dismiss her feelings.

She had to have known.

She ponders this as she tosses and turns, trying to find sleep, watching the hours slip by on the digital clock on her nightstand.

But what if she didn't?

What if she actually believed that Delphine didn't care? What if she actually believed that Delphine only saw her as a subject, as some "freak experiment," as she had put it? Somehow, the thought of Cosima believing these lies scares her far more than crossing boundaries. She kicks the covers off, sliding out of the bed. It's a little after three o'clock in the morning, but she doesn't care. She knows Cosima is still awake, probably tossing and turning in her own bed, trying to make sense of her own emotions, just like Delphine was doing. She slips into a pair of jeans and a sheer, white tank top, then grabs her jacket.

There's only one place for her to go now.

Only one thing for her to do.