A/N: Thank you all again for your fabulous reviews, I started writing this for my-self but continue now for you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this.

Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters belong to the brilliant Stephenie Meyer. The imagination in this story is all mine :o)

The playlist today included like you by Evanescence.

Ch7 Worlds apart

You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved and you will never know what pain is, until you have lost it. Anon

Black; All around me was black, dark and oppressing, weighing down on my eyelids, crushing me with its bleakness, showing me the loneliness of being in the dark.

Numb; my entire being was numb, my consciousness crept back to me, and with it I expected pain but felt nothing. I lay cold and numb. Not even trying to move for I knew if I did I was acknowledging my body lying still; broken and numb.

I never wanted to move again, I wanted to lie still and suffocate in my misery. It was all consuming and I felt nothing, nothing but despair.

I could clearly hear the monitor beside my head, timing the rhythm of my heartbeats, its repetitive beepbeepbeep becoming so obviously clear to me now. It had followed me in slumber, disturbing my dreams and calling me back to a life I couldn't remember. I just didn't know where I was, who I was or what the hell was going on!

The falling sensation was now real and I wasn't able to resist it. I descended into blackness over and over again. I had idea how long this went on for, drifting in and out of the realms of consciousness, it seemed endless to me, possibly the entire day or even more went by with me waking to the monitor and various voices, catching partial conversations of social lives, love lives, sex lives or lack off and even occasionally, their work. But then I would feel overwhelmed and slip back into the sinking oblivion.

A question kept forming in my mind, but I couldn't grasp what it was I needed to ask, I just knew I was desperate to hear the answer. Thinking hurt but only my head, the rest of me was numb and motionless. And although I knew I was struggling to awaken fully, I hadn't quite managed to summon the energy to try to move my body or even open my eyes.

I had known at the precise moment I first felt awareness that I was in a hospital. They had found me by the road, bruised and bleeding. I had heard this from the partial conversations breezing over me, I wanted to ask them more, where was I found, what had happened to me, was I alone? But until I was able to convince the nursing staff I was here, not just in body but also in mind, all I could do was lie still in utter frustration.

Sleep, conscious, sleep, conscious....... its repetition started to drive me insane. Lying there silently begging them to continue the gossip, feeding me insanity with unanswered questions and idle chitchat.

"Driving under the influence, that's what I heard!"

"Oh for God's Sake Suzie, you took the blood samples yourself, didn't you read the results?"

"No!"

"Was it drugs then?" A third voice chirped up.

"No! There was nothing, just slightly anaemic." A pause, no doubt as they all observed me. "It really was strange though, two cars but only she was brought in"

My attention piqued.

"Really? Why?"

"Dunno.... but between us three, Jimmy told me he swopped shifts with Tony, you know the technician who worked that night, anyway he told Jimmy th......" They continued their rounds, moving away from my bed. I wanted to sit upright and scream at them to come back.

Instead I did the only thing I could, I mused over the story, trying to fill in the gaps myself. How could it be possible I was involved in a serious road traffic accident with more than one vehicle and yet I couldn't remember it?

"Here Bella, Bella, Bella..."

I couldn't place it.....The voice, who was he?

"Bella, Bella, Bella,"

I didn't like him! I was sure of it, something gripped my stomach, a knot of fear......this person, he had scared me, he was......he was what? What was he? Think, Bella, His name, his face, who was he?

But nothing else came.

The frustration was picking at me. I turned my concentration from my jumbled thoughts too myself.

Ok Bella, start small, your hand – lift your hand.

Ok – too much, try smaller, a finger! That's it, wriggle a finger..... Ok it moved, I 'm sure it moved, did anyone see? Of course not! Their all too busy with their bullshit to notice! I could be having a heart attack over here – right, ignore them and try again, your little finger – Yes! Yes! It did move I know for sure it did, right try the next one – try again – Ok again – try again – Damn it!

"Hey Bella, how are you doing?"

I stopped. Who was this?

"I notice you have some colour today, any chance you're going to join us in the land of living soon, Hmm?"

It was a male. His voice was nice, soft, had he noticed my attempts to move?

"You'll be pleased to hear the specials for today are chilli con carne, extra hot and then chocolate sundae" He chuckled to himself "Sorry to tease, it's the usual cocktail in the drip for you, but I'll make you a deal, you wake up soon and I'll cook you chilli con carne, extra hot, myself!"

I wanted to laugh with him, he was sweet.

He reached down and took my hand in his, "See you tomorrow Bella, sweet dreams." Then he left the air cool on my hand after his warm touch. It overwhelmed me. He had spoken to me! Not over me, but to me. I felt a need rising in my chest, to call him back. I ached for his return the next day. For with his voice the feeling of despair was replaced with a new hope, and for that I was grateful to him.

Xxx

He arrived early morning, just after the nurses bustled into the ward, opening blinds, not caring that the light brightened the room as it couldn't possibly disturb the sleep of the patients on the coma ward.

I heard him greet the other nurses as he entered the ward, checking details for his day ahead, then he came over. If I was capable I'd have jumped up and down on the bed.

Talk to me, please talk to me.

"Morning Bella"

Good morning Stranger.

"What shall we do today then? Walk in the gardens? Or lunch at a fancy Bistro?"

How about a picnic?

"Jake!"

"Yeah?" He called back.

Jake! I have his name. Jake. Jacob.

"Could you arrange for Shirley's bed to be moved?"

"Sure thing, Matron"

"We also have the Community Service volunteers arriving at noon, if you could meet them at the reception and get them to sign in"

"No worries Matron" He walked away from me, I hated Matron.

It was a while before he came back. I could hear him chatting to his colleagues, changing bed linen, discussing football. I lay listening to him, praying him to direct that talk towards me again. I was starting to crave human contact.

"Did you see that?" Jake's colleague asked, sounding surprised.

"What?" He asked

"Wait - there, see?"

What? What had his attention, I wanted to open my eyes and follow his direction.

"She's moved her head" The colleague was whispering now.

"Yeah, I can see" Jake's voice seemed closer, like he had crossed the ward and stood near me.

I could hear him breathing.

"Bella?" Jake said softly.

Yes. I was screaming inside.

"Bella" He said again.

Yes Jake, I can hear you.

"You've moved" He had bent closer to me, his voice so close. I could imagine he had crouched by my bedside. He was so close to me his breath was tickling my cheek, it smelt like peppermint.

"You've moved" he repeated. "Can you do it again?"

I didn't know what part of me I had moved or how, I couldn't do it again. I had no idea what I had done in the first place.

"I've waited a long time to see you open your eyes, can you do it now?" His voice was soft, eager, he was genuine, his words sincere. I didn't know this boy but I wanted so desperately to do what he asked me too. "Do it for me?"

It was so hard to comply but I knew I had to try, I willed my eye lids to lift, I wanted the sunlight to blind me, I wanted to see the flashes of colour invade the darkness, I wanted to see blue again and white and green - and golden brown.

It seemed like a lifetime but a tiny slither of white slipped beneath my closed eyes and pushing with all my might, the slither became more, drowning my vision with such intensity it hurt as my eyes embraced it, the resulting reaction was tears, rushing up to protect my sight from the sudden invasion. It had been so long since I had seen the sun.

I had to blink to clear the blanket of fog in front of me, afraid at first that my eyes would remain closed again, but they had suddenly found a life of their own and stayed with me, showing me the room around me, in slow motion as I blinked against the brightness, the tears falling, my sight clearing, I sought him out and found him, face to face with me, his expression one of wonder and pride.

"Hi" He said

I blinked.

"You did well." Jake smiled at me. "I'm so proud of you!"

Thank you. I did it for you.

Xxx

"I have good news"

I looked up at Jake. He was sitting on the edge of my bed, playing top trumps with me. We hadn't been able to locate a normal deck of cards, but he had found some things left behind by a youngster who had visited the ward frequently. The subject on the cards was sharks. I hadn't thought there could be enough information on sharks to play a game of top trumps, but I was wrong. So we played, chatted and I learnt a little too. And not just about sharks.

Jake had helped my rehabilitation for the past 3 weeks, ever since my miraculous awakening. I hadn't thought it so miraculous but as Jake had pointed out to me, I wasn't really aware of how close I had been to not pulling through at all. This made me melancholy and not just for the idea that I could've died because although I was here, alive and healing, I couldn't shake the feeling I had lost something, so very dear to me.

He had held my hand that morning I had opened my eyes. Had stayed with me as Consultant after Consultant came and ran numerous tests, all telling me how lucky I was. It had taken 2 more days before I could be lifted to sit up right, dizziness kept swamping me, almost like a hangover. But eventually we had managed and I had watched all activities in my ward with a new view.

Five days after waking I had managed my first words and I had spoken them to Jake. He had been away for a day and I had missed his smile, and incandescent chattering. I had wanted to surprise him.

"Hello Bella" He had chirped as he walked in that day.

"Hello Jake" I had responded. It was worth the wait, his smile was golden. I soon regretted my choice as my Dad came in and for the first time in months, he heard me talking, but to someone other than him. His face was crestfallen and I felt my heart break for him.

Charlie had been a regular at my bedside, the nurses had told me, bringing me music, reading from my favourite books which he had found under my bed at home. Wuthering Heights, Romeo & Juliet and even Sense & Sensibility, I chuckled quietly at the image of Charlie reading Shakespeare to his sleeping daughter with an audience of nurses clucking and cooing over him like mother hens. He wouldn't admit it, but he had probably enjoyed the attention.

Jake was also taking me too and from physiotherapy. The muscles in my body had been immobile for months. I was like a toddler learning to walk again. I knew the steps but couldn't get my body to obey the commands. His gentle coaxing along with the Physiotherapists had helped me contain my rage, as I struggled to be Bella again.

"What's your news?" I asked.

"You're being moved to another ward."

I didn't really like this news. "Oh" I said

"Is that it?" Jake questioned my lack of enthusiasm.

"I like it here" I answered.

He looked around us at the five other beds, four of them occupied. "Why?"

"My room-mates are pretty ok, for a start. They don't make much noise and never steal my food!"

"Bella!" Jake wasn't in the mood for jokes. He had thought this news would amuse me, another step forward in my road to recovery.

"I can't explain it Jake"

"Try"

"I like seeing you here almost every day, I'd miss you and it's just that, I don't think I'm ready to let go"

"Let go of what? The months you were here, you were unconscious, you don't know these people, it's kind of depressing being in a room full of people who can't talk back to you"

"Did you feel depressed talking to me?" I asked my voice small.

Jake looked at me, his eyes searching my face for a moment. I looked back at him. He had such a kind face, his olive coloured skin was smooth, his eyes dark brown and deep and his hair, long and black tied back in a pony tail. It looked soft and sleek. It was shiny when he past the window and the sunlight splayed through.

"Never" he replied. "I just knew you could hear me, there was something different about you."

"I couldn't, not all the time, anyway, just more towards the end."

"The beginning" he corrected.

I smiled at him, "That's right, my beginning."

"Here, I forgot to give you this." Jake rummaged under the chair beside the bed, and pulled out a box.

"What is it?"

"Just some of the things you had on you when they brought you in."

I didn't reply as I hadn't expected it. I wasn't sure what I should be feeling, the ward change and the box suddenly shouted out to me, like something was coming but I wasn't quite ready for it.

"Oh" Is all I could muster.

"Are you ok with this? I can take it away again if you prefer"

"No, it's ok really." I paused."It's just hard when I don't know what to expect. I have no idea what will be in there or what condition it may be in."

"You don't have to look today. I'm sorry, it was thoughtless of me." Jake hung his head, my reluctance to take the box making him feel guilty.

"Jake, it' ok, I promise, but –"I stopped, uncertain of what I had wanted to ask.

"What?" He prompted.

"Will you stay with me while I look?"

Jake breathed a sigh of relief, I wasn't sure what he had expected me to say, but I was comforted by his arm snaking around my shoulder and pulling me to the side of him. It was almost like a brotherly hug. His body was warm and much more toned than I had expected. I felt a blush creep up my face as I longed to snuggle closer to him. I had missed being held.

I reached out and took the box from his lap. It wasn't large, about the size of a shoe box, its lid closed to me, its contents still hidden.

I took a deep breath. This shouldn't be so hard, but I couldn't help but feel that with the lid being lifted I was opening up more than a box of belongings, maybe I would open my memory too. For even though I had been awake for three weeks, my mind had stayed asleep, the details of the accident no clearer then when I had awoken, no thoughts hedged past that date and beyond. I couldn't remember my move to Forks and I couldn't remember the people I had met, except for Charlie and Jake, I was alone in this town.

I lifted the lid carefully and placed it on the bed. There were four items inside, my purse a bunch of keys, a mobile phone and a bracelet.

The purse I recognised as mine and the keys, I believed were to Charlie's house and my school locker. The mobile phone and bracelet were a mystery.

"What's this?" Jake reached in and pulled out the bracelet, it was black leather and about an inch and half in width, it fastened with a buckle much like a belt. On the front was a disc with a coat of arms. A family crest. It was a black background with a lion, one front paw raised the others down, its tongue was protruding and above its head was a crown. Under its feet was a banner with 3 clubs, like those on a deck of cards. The name read "Cullen".

"It's a wristband" Jake murmured, "Pretty cool. Looks expensive, custom made."

"How do you know?" I asked, holding the soft leather in my hands, rubbing my fingers over the disc.

"Well, it's a family crest, see, the name here? Cullen. They had this made into a wristband, the leather is old anyway but not as old as the disc, it looks like real silver, not costume, I don't really know, Bella, I'm not a jeweller, I can just see it meant a lot to someone, to wear their family crest. People don't do that anymore."

I could suddenly picture the band on the wrist of someone, his skin, cold and pale, his blue shirt sleeves pulled up to his elbows, his hands long and narrow, with artistic fingers – the image shifted and I could see those fingers dancing over keys, black on white, a melody breathing out of the instrument, floating on the air towards me, beautiful, hypnotic, yearning. If I closed my eyes, I could almost hear that music.

"Cullen" I whispered. The sound so familiar, it felt natural on my tongue. I had spoken it before.

"Cullen-"

"Do you know them?" Jake's question broke my reverie.

"I'm not sure-"

"I think you must do, this is a family piece. You didn't come by this by accident –"

Accident: The word floated on the air before me. Accident – Cullen-I couldn't quite join the dots.

"Listen, I'm sorry to leave you, Bells, but I need to continue my rounds before my shift ends. Shall I come back later and take you to dinner?"

I smiled up at Jake as he stood to leave. We had a new evening ritual where he wheeled me down stairs to the visitor concourse for food rather than subject me to the mush they served on the wards. Fast food joints scattered every square inch of the concourse, but I wasn't tired of the junk food just yet.

"Sure. See you later, k"

I watched him leave and then leaned back on my pillows. I lifted the wristband to my face and inhaled the smell of leather, but there was a faint odour attached to the material, not unpleasant, intoxicating almost but gone too quickly. I had known that smell. It had called to me, like home. My tummy tightened and my mind darted back to the image of a boy playing music, his head bowed as he watched the keys move under his ministrations. I closed my eyes and summoned the music back to me, like a whisper it stayed in the back of my mind, not daring to emerge any further. The image shifted to a boy dancing with a girl, spinning her round a large room, with long windows and stars filling the sky outside. The music enchanting and leading them, they gazed at each other smiling, enraptured with each other. I felt my tummy shift again, I liked that image, and it held magic in its picture. I liked to think the girl was me, and almost as soon as I thought it, the image changed again and I was no longer watching the dancers from a distance, I was one of them, his arms around my waist, his hand holding mine, his scent filling my senses. I moved my gaze from his chest to his chin, he had a strong jaw, clear lines and his skin was pale, my gaze shifted higher to take in the sight of his lips, a crooked smile playing on the corners of his mouth, his mouth, oh how I wanted to touch my mouth to his, to steal his smile with my lips.

"Bella" He whispered. His voice was as tantalizing as the music around us.

I looked up at his face fully, his eyes held mine in a look that stole my heart. Golden brown, his eyes were golden brown and framed with long black lashes. The background shifted and I recalled looking at those lashes on a hillside, a meadow, surrounded by the tallest trees I had ever seen.

"Bella" He breathed.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of him.

"Yes" I replied.

"Bella" It was like a song, calling to me.

"Yes" I said again.

"Remember me-"

I snapped my eyes open and the picture dissipated leaving the ward and its occupants in front of me, not the boy with the golden eyes.

"Remember me" He had said, "Remember me." I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and grasping the wristband to my face I breathed in the leather once more, hoping desperately for the scent of him to be hidden in its folds.

The realisation was brutal. For not only did I suddenly recall who had breathed my name and enchanted me with his music and touch, I also remembered the last time I had seen him. It all came whooshing back to me, like a blow to the face. My last image of him, slumped in the car, unmoving, possibly even dead. The pain it brought to me was a cocktail of pure happiness at the image of him, smiling at me but also an excruciating hollow ripping open my body of emotions. I started to ache, throbbing in harmony to my pulse. I crushed the wristband to me like a lifeline for it had belonged to Edward.

Edward. I had no idea where he was or even if he was still alive. It had been three weeks since I woke and two months since the accident, if Edward had not survived, he would be buried by now, so cold and still.

I started to sob, heart wrenching, gulping sobs. They simply took my breath away and I struggled too breath and cry at the same time. He was dead, I was sure of it, he hadn't moved, and I was so empty inside, like something had been ripped from me. I hadn't known for weeks what it was I was missing. Putting it down to the accident and my amnesia, I had expected the emptiness to go once I regained my memory.

The nurse on duty came running over, concern showing on her face.

"Bella, Bella what is it love?"

I couldn't speak and finally, after what seemed like hours a Doctor was summoned to administer a sedative as they struggled to calm me down.

The liquid sedative raced into my bloodstream with startling speed, numbing me as it flowed, the sobs and shaky breaths subsiding as sleep arrived and promised me the sweetness of dreams. For in dreams we could be reunited again.