Hello sweeties! I know it took some days for me to post this chapter, but here it is. It's the longer one I've ever written, so enjoy it. If you have any idea, tell me. You can use the reviews for that or contact me on my tumblr (broken-queen). I don't own anything but the writing, and this cuties characters belong to Cassie Claire.

Words count: 1.388.

Magnus thought about how weird that entire situation was. He looked deep into those eyes. It was odd how no matter how hard he tried to fight his feelings, only one second next to Alec could make it all feel like a wasted effort. His heart began to push against his chest, and he knew what that meant.

The most painful words he ever said in his life. "It's over". It was worse than anything he'd felt before, his world falling apart and his heart totally destroyed. Pain hidden behind the wall he created to avoid that kind of feelings. Well, it didn't work that time; With Alec it never has. He'd always wondered why. Alec, with his beautiful blue eyes, was always in the shadows of everyone, always rude, always so hard to be loved, and so inexperienced. But it was him, and somehow he noticed that guy. The moment he smiled at him, saying that they put holy water in the vampire's demonic bikes, he knew he fell for him. And then, when he thought that passion was going to end, it only grew stronger and stronger, and then he was doing things he never would in his right mind. He didn't think twice about heal Luke and Maia and get almost unconscious to make the shadowhunters get into the Valentine's ship.

"I thought you said you didn't know who Valentine was?" Clary pointed out.

"I lied," Magnus admitted candidly. "I'm not one of the fey, you know. I'm not required to be truthful. And only a fool would get between Valentine and his revenge."

The funny thing is that he did go against Valentine. And the person he was in that moment seemed to be gone. In the first time his eyes locked with Alec's – he realized – he would never be the same.

He was in love by a teenager who didn't even loved or wanted him back, except when he needed help. He wanted to kill himself when he noticed that; but not as much as when he broke up with Alec, of course. When they broke up Magnus felt like it didn't worth living anymore, he didn't want to. He started to wonder why he hadn't sleep with anyone since that happened; everybody knows that the best way to get over a heartbroken is to get another love. But still, he couldn't take Alec away from his thoughts.

Damn, his human part was killing him slowly! That part refused to forget Alec; forget how his touch felt like, how his favorite combination of black hair and blue eyes was even better in him; That beautiful shadowhunter seemed to be in his veins, as if he needed him to survive more than he needed anything else.

He could spend a lifetime with Alec. He knew he would love him every second of his life, more and more, and he knew that would never end - at least, not in his heart – and that it didn't matter how many times life separated them, they would always find their way back to each other.

Since the break up, he often thought about consider, as crazy as it seemed, becoming human. But he always avoided that thought; he knew fairy tales didn't exist, and that love always ends, although it takes a part of him with it; But yet - he remember himself – it was Alec; It was the first person in a long time that cared about him, and that made him remember how good – and painful, of course – love could be.

"It wasn't your fault", he said once, when Magnus told his sad history to the shadowhunters. After that the boy said some words, finally, asking Magnus if he'd been at the Uprising. He answered that question, - undeniably curious about that guy – looking straight into his eyes. Those eyes, he thought. So blue, so alive, there's a whole world inside of them. They showed the truth behind the brave shadowhunter: a boy who wanted to live, who wanted to love, but that was too afraid to start living and getting hurt, just like he was.

Now Magnus knew that them both protected themselves as they could; Alec tried to be invisible, finding on his adoptive brother the perfect excuse to calm down his heart. And Magnus wanted to keep partying, but deep down he knew that a part of him just used that "I don't belong to anyone" excuse to don't get hurt. He really enjoyed sleeping with one and another people, which for him was comfortable and safe, it was true. But then their ways crossed.

Once he heard a quote that said "Once you can hurt, you can love". Life and its ups and downs have made him forget that. He could be the safest man in Earth until the day they fell in love – and he believed he was – but did it worth? Is it better living an eternity of loneliness than a few days of love? He didn't know what the right answer was. He should've known. But he was sure he never would; Alec. Always Alec.

They didn't plan on any of that to happen, but it has. And as he kept living alone on those days that followed the break up, in any of them the thought of how happy he felt with Alec had left his mind. It was consuming him, he knew it, but he had to be strong; His great weakness was his heart, and he couldn't let that control him. "If you want to be strong, you can't allow yourself to love". He loved Alec, but he loved more his life.

He stopped for a second. Did he? Was him so sure he wouldn't die to save Alec?

Of course he would. He'd spent all that time trying to lie to himself, but he hadn't believed it for even a moment.

He no longer could deny the truth. He wanted to fix it, he wanted to go back to what they were, he wanted to feel his boyfriend's head on his chest, he wanted to kiss him and feel in the same time peace and desire invading him; he wanted to be better because of Alec, and if he died because of that it doesn't matter, because it's worth. Alec's worth. Their love's worth.

"Magnus! I'm talking to you, Magnus!"

Magnus went out of his reverie and entered in another one after listening to Alec's voice. How was it possible for someone to be as perfect as Alec was? His face showed a mix of irritation, curiosity and his usual shyness, although there was something else. Life. His face was full of life. It looked like an art work. Every pore, every expression line in contrast to his mouth, his blue eyes and his black hair were certainly the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Sorry. What were you talking about?"

"I was saying that I know what attacked me."

After Alec stood quiet for some minutes, Magnus finally said, in disbelief:

"Alexander, dear, when you start to say something people actually expect you to end it, right?"

"Yeah…?" – Alec seemed to be in another planet. Magnus asked himself if Alec was also in a reverie. Now he understood why Alec was so irritated.

"So can you tell me what attacked you?" – Magnus stood in front of Alec and looked deep into his eyes, face-to-face. Alec sparked quickly, looking into the warlock's cat eyes. He felt the impulse to kiss Magnus right there, but he fought it. He turned his face and stepped back, and Magnus did the same.

"It was a demon."