Disclaimer: I own nothing except the newly fixed Mac in which I wrote this on…

AN: So (after I have no idea how I long) I've finally updated my profile here. I also added a poll about this story, so go check it out and VOTE.

The Bonfire of the Vanities

-xx-

More Than Nothing

"I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended tone, "so I can't take more."
"You mean you can't take less," said the Hatter: "it's very easy to take more than nothing."

—Lewis Carroll

-xx-

Clayton Evans still sits on his stool at the TRIC bar. Bottle of Silver Patrón in hand, he pours two shots and sprinkles salt on his hand. "Lick it. Slam it. Lime." The light-haired brunette explains. "How did you never learn to do this before?"

Jake licks the salt off his hand, downs the shot of tequila and sucks on the lime. He winces at the strong taste of the liquor mixed with sourness of the lime. "I had a kid high school," he groans, "Didn't leave much time for partying. And this is Tree Hill. Our parties had cheap keg beer, maybe rum and Coke."

Clay downs two shots in a row, and heavy eyelids fall closed.

I'm just tired of the endless disconnect.

I don't want to just fuck around anymore—I want you!

I want us!

What the hell had he been thinking? Brooke hadn't even said anything. She'd just muttered something about not being able to do this right now and bolted.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm a tequila guy." Jake announces soundly, breaking Clay out of his stupor. "And, honestly, I don't think it's helping you much, either." He adds, takes the crystal bottle out of Clay's hands. "What's going on with you right now?"

Clay rests his elbows on the bar and sinks his face into the palms of his hands, his fingertips running through his hair. "Everything." He answers, "Everything's fucked up right now."

Jake sighs—he is so not equipped to be babysitting a drunk Clay right now. He barely even knows the guy. Lucky for him, Rachel walks into the bar just then. Talk about saved by the bell.

"Hey, handsome," Rachel lays a hand upon Jake's shoulder and flashes him a smile, "Sorry I'm late." Her eyes dart to Clay, "Ugh, what is wrong with you? And what the hell happened to your lip?"

Clay locks eyes with her, as if they're having some sort of wordless conversation. "I'm gonna go..." Jake lets his voice trail off, "Um, I'll just wait for you over there, okay," he points a thumb at an empty table and gives them their privacy.

Rachel places a hand on her waist, "I'm not gonna ask again, Clay."

"Lucas Scott wants Brooke back. We had some angry words about it," Clay points a fingers at his busted lip, "Don't worry, though. I nailed him pretty good, too."

Rachel blinks. This is what she's been expecting all along. Because Lucas Scott quite possibly has the worst timing in the world, especially when it comes to Brooke Davis. "You talk to Brooke yet?"

Clay nods, "Didn't go over too well, either." Cobalt-blue eyes focus of the empty glass in front of him, "I told her I'm done fucking around. I want us to be together."

Rachel sighs, places a hand on the small of Clay's back, "She bolted, didn't she?" Clay nods once more, "I'm sorry. But it doesn't mean she doesn't care. She's just...a little confused right now."

"She walked away, Rae," Clay answers dryly, "I know she cares, but..."

"No but," Rachel cuts in, "She cares. Period. With Lucas and Peyton, well, you know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge—"

"Oh, I know there's a lot of bad water," Clay says dryly, "I'm just not sure it's under the bridge. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Jesus! Do I have to spell everything out for you?" Rachel chides, her annoyance starting to show—patience has never been one of her virtues. "Did you sniff too much glue as a child? What you do now is fight for her. You don't let her run away."

Clay has to crack a grin at the redhead's comments. "Knew I could count on you to cheer me up, Rae," he says sarcastically. "Look, I'm not gonna corner her right now—y'know that'd just piss her off more."

"Well, duh! I'm not saying go all Say Anything and stand outside her house playing a cheesy Peter Gabriel song. I'm saying let her know you're there for her. Because even is she did walk away, she needs to know that you won't."

"You know I wouldn't do that."

Rachel nods, "I know. Now go make sure B. knows it, too." She says, "Put that God-given charm of yours to good use, at least for once."

Clay grins once more, "How'd you get to be so smart, Rae?"

The redhead winks, "Baby, I was born this way." After giving Rachel a quick hug, Clay leaves.

"Everything okay now?" Jake asks, taking Clay's empty stool.

Rachel licks her lips, "Not even close." She answers, "The fight for Brooke Davis' heart is on. Anyone wanna place any wagers?"

It's meant to be a joke, but there's a ring of truth in it. Because Brooke will have to chose someone at some point.

-xx-

Clay walks into the house as he usually does. The lights are turned off, and Brooke's curled up on the couch watching a movie. Clay grins when he spots the half-empty pint of Häagen-Dazs on the coffee table. He knows Brooke only eats ice-cream by the pint when she's stressed out.

"Did ya save me some?" Clays asks casually, "You know coffee's my favorite."

Brooke furrows her brow—because today, Clay Evans is quite possibly the last person she was expecting to walk into her house. "You're here." She states, the confusion in her tone more than evident, "Why are you here?"

"It's what we do, B." Clay answers easily, sits down on the couch next to her.

"But we fought." Brooke presses, "You...said things, and I walked away. We had a fight. And now you show up here."

Clay nods, "Of course I showed up. This is how it works. You fight sometimes and somebody apologizes." He explains gently, "And no matter what, you can always expect that I'm gonna show up. Even when we fight, I'm always gonna show up. Okay?"

And that's the first thing that makes Brooke Davis smile that afternoon. "Okay." She says, pauses for a beat, "I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry. It's just...everything's so messed up right now. We started having sex and it's great and Lucas is back and I just don't..." tears flow freely from hazel eyes, and she struggles to catch her breath. "I don't know..." She is fully aware that she's rambling like a crazy person, and to top it all off she's crying now. "I don't..." she breathes heavily, surrendering to the tears.

"Shh, shh," Clay pulls her into his arms, presses a kiss to the top of her head, "hey, it's okay," he attempts to soothe her. He cups her face in his hands, and looks her in the eyes, "Just listen to me, okay," he tells her seriously, "I like the sex. The sex is great. But I can live without it. I just...I don't think I'd do so well if I didn't have you in my life. I need my best friend. That's the one thing I can't do without."

Brooke nods weakly, burrows her face in his broad chest. This is too much. She can't do this. Not now. She was just starting to get her shit together. And now there's Lucas and there's Clay. And it's all too much.

"Stay with me. Please."

"Yeah," Clay nods, holding her tighter, "Yeah, of course I'll stay."

-xx-

Lucas sits on a stool, elbows resting on the kitchen island. His ocean-blue eyes stare straight ahead, and he has his best brooding face on.

"Been here, what, three weeks, four?" Skills says as he hands his broody friend a beer, "And now's when you roll in to talk to your boy? Dawg, that's messed up. I ain't seen your scrawny ass since J-Luke's b-day bash."

The comments elicit a grin from Lucas, "Yeah, sorry, man." he takes a pull from the Heineken bottle, "It's been a pretty complicated month."

Skills scoffs, "That the understatement of year right there," he says, "I mean, you and P. Scott—or is it P. Sawyer, now?—are gettin' divorced. You got into a fistfight with Agent Boy—which Imma guess was about B. Davis. Did I miss anything?"

"Nope. That's pretty much it." Lucas answers, "Oh, and you forgot I have Sawyer to think about. Plus I'm still a good five months away from making my divorce final—and that's if we resolve custody issues promptly."

Skills scoffs, "Dawg, Imma be crude here 'cause this drama has officially been going on for too damn long now: pussy's your problem. You don't know how to handle it. It's Brooke, it's Peyton, it's Lindsay—and I ain't even mentioning the Anna-Phase here. You fall in love too much. You fall in love too fast. And you fall out of love too easy. That shit ain't right."

Lucas frowns, "Skills—"

"Don't be gettin' mad a me," Skills cuts him off, "You came to me 'cause you know I give it to you straight. I don't sugarcoat it—I tell ya the truth when the truth's what ya need to hear. And it looks to me like you need some truth right about now."

"Ugh," Lucas groans, runs his fingers through his hair, "You're right. But I think I'm done with that now—the indecision, I mean. Because if I'm not with Brooke, I still don't wanna be with Peyton. Not anymore. Our marriage just doesn't work."

Skills nods, taking it all in, "If somethin' doesn't work—if you can't fix it—you should end it. Stayin' in a bad marriage just because don't do anybody any good. So good for you for havin' the guts to end things, dawg." he says, "Now, about B. Davis...you done dropped the ball with her plenty of times now. Just make sure not to drop it this time, ya feel me?"

Lucas nods, bumps his fist with Skills, "Yeah." he says with a half-grin, "I feel ya."

And he won't drop the ball with Brooke—not again, not this time.

-xx-

Haley runs around the living room, picking up Jamie's toys and tidying the place up. Clay leans against the wall, hands tucked in his jeans' pockets, and watches her for a second, "Want some help?" he asks.

"Clay," Haley presses a hand to her chest, startled to find the agent standing there. Then she furrows her brow, "What're you doing here? You know Nathan's shooting the second add today, right?"

Clay nods, "Yeah, I know. I actually came to see you."

Haley can immediately see something's off about Clay—he isn't grinning or making jokes. That alone sends her spidey senses a-tingling. "Okay, sure," she flashes him a gentle smile, "Wanna go outside? Beautiful day," she offers.

"Sure."

The pair heads out to the backyard and they sit on he edge of the pool, dipping their toes in the warm water. Haley scrunches up her eyes, looks away from the sun, "You gonna say anything soon or am I gonna have to drag whatever it is out of you?"

"Did you know that Lucas wants Brooke back?" Clay answers her question with another question. "I know you think I'm the boy who's never gonna grow up, and that I'll never...but I do care about her."

Haley blinks, the pain in Clay's voice is practically palpable. "I never thought this would be an issue." She admits, "I mean, I thought you'd be the one to hurt Brooke." She grips Clay's hand, "It never crossed my mind that she might hurt you."

Clay flashes her a sad half-smile, "I got in a fight with Lucas. At TRIC. Chase had to pull us apart." He says, pauses for a beat, "I want to be with Brooke. As more than a friend. More than what we are right now."

"Well that explain why Luke's been avoiding my calls." Haley mutters, then she eyes him with amused curiosity, "Clayton Evans...are you growing up right now?"

Clay shrugs, "Well, I feel like shit, so probably."

"Have you told any of this to Brooke, Clay? Have you told her how you feel?"

Clay looks down at his hands, "I wanted to tell her...I tried, but it was..." he sighs, "I wanted to say that she'd never have to be alone, if she doesn't want to be. Because I want to be with her. But it came out all wrong. And she walked away. Couldn't tell her after that. It would've only freaked her out more."

Haley rests her head on his shoulder, and Clay in turn rests his head atop of Haley's. "It'll be okay, Clay." She assures him, "I know it feels like...everything's messed up right now. But everything's gonna be okay."

Part of Haley feels that there's something false about that promise, but she has to hope that things will work out. Even if they're a complete mess right now.

-xx-

Brooke groans as she slumps her head against the kitchen table. "Why do you not have liquor here?" she asks, her voice muffled by her arm.

"'Cause I'm in N.A. and even though I drink, I prefer not to keep any alcohol in the house." Rachel states matter-of-factly. "And I don't think you should be drowning your issues with alcohol—that's how you end up with a problem. Also, when I'm acting as the voice of reason, that's when you know things are really fucked up."

Jax giggles from his high-chair, "Momma!"

Rachel grins at him, nuzzles her nose against his, "That's right, Rockstar. Things are really effed up when Momma's the sanest one in the room."

"Fine. I'll take a Coke then." Brooke grumbles as she pulls a bottle out of the fridge. "What I'm gonna do, Rae? Lucas keeps popping up, and he keeps saying these things...and I've got Clay, and he's been so great with me."

"You're just that good, B. There's no getting over you." Rachel mocks with a smirk.

Brooke rolls her eyes, "I'm serious. I don't know what to do here. I thought Lucas and I were done—I was supposed to be over him. And then there's Clay. It was supposed to be just sex. Actually it wasn't even supposed to be that, but then somehow we ended up in bed together. And he's my friend and I care about him. He gets me and he makes me laugh and he...he knows me, and he doesn't ever walk away. And I don't want to break him."

Rachel sighs, "Then don't."

"I'm trying..." Brooke groans, and slumps her back down onto the table.

Rachel stands up, "C'mon. I know what you need."

-xx-

Rachel bounces Jax against her hip and Brooke looks around the empty field. Even with the lights on, it's kind of dark, and the place is creepy deserted. "How did you even find this place?"

Rachel grabs some gear, "Jake brought me here on a date once." she says, "He was trying to be cute, I guess."

"Okay, what're we doing here?" Brooke asks.

Rachel sets Jax down, and gives him a baseball to play with. "Wait here, baby," She then picks up a helmet, "We are here because you," she starts, places the helmet on her brunette friend's head, "need a distraction. And you need to clear your head."

"And the baseball field is the place to do that?" Brooke asks, kinks an eyebrow. "I don't have time to play games. I need to—"

Rachel holds a finger up to the brunette's face, "We're not gonna talk about it." she says, places a bat in Brooke's hands, "We're here to play baseball."

Brooke stares at the baseball bat in her hands, "You know, I'm sorry." she shakes her head, takes of the helmet. "I'm leaving." The brunette turns to head back to the car.

Rachel picks Jax up and runs ahead of Brooke to block her way. "Whoa. Whoa. You need this." she assures her, places the helmet back on with her free hand, "Keep this on. That's right." the redhead takes Brooke's hand and drags her towards home plate.

Rachel grabs the controller of the pitching machine and turns it on, "Now, hit the ball!"

Brooke groans, "I don't want to hit the ball!" she pouts like an annoyed child. "AAAH!" she squeals as the baseball zooms by her, missing her head by a couple of inches.

Rachel places her hands on her hips, "Brooke, things are shit right now. You're confused. It's understandable. I get it. But you need to stop thinking about what's gonna happen. Clear the noise from your head. You need to focus on what's right in front of you—Now, hit the ball!"

Brooke rolls her eyes, but squares herself. She vaguely remembers what Clay and Nathan had taught her about baseball that one time they'd gotten too drunk—keep elbow . It's a particularly odd feeling when the bat connects with the ball. Like she's just accomplished something monumental. "Oh my God! I hit it!" Brooke shrieks excitedly. "I hit it! Oh my God!"

"WHOO!" Rachel raises her arms in triumph, cheering for her best friend, "Yes! That's what I'm talking about!" she claps.

Brooke laughs, "Oh my God! That was amazing!" her chest is heaving as she struggles to catch her breath. "That was so awesome!"

"Wanna go again?" Rachel asks with a mischievous smirk. Brooke nods eagerly, and the redhead sends another ball her way.

Rachel let out a sigh of relief—she's happy that she could help Brooke clear her mind, if only for a little while. No matter what, she will not see her best friend get heartbroken again.

-xx-

Brooke runs around the house frantically searching for her keys—as per usual, she's running late.

Just as she's about to head out the door, there stands Clay Evans in her doorway, "Hey," he greets with his best lopsided grin, "Um, got a second? I need to talk to you."

Brooke nods, "Sure. Wanna come inside?"

"No, no. Um, here's fine. Look I...I've been thinking a lot lately. Y'know, I've always just thought that every relationship you have is going to end, until you have one that doesn't. And I keep thinking about all the surprises I've gotten in my life from all the people I thought I knew. That's why I've never committed to anyone. But you and I, we know everything about each other—the good, the bad, the ugly. And I'm not just okay with who you are, I love who you are. I'd go to the end of the earth for you, Dimples." Clay lets out a nervous chuckle, "What I'm trying to say here is: I love you. I'm in love with you. I think I've been in love with you forever. Ever since the beginning, it's always been you. And I know that this is a lot to drop on you right now, but...I didn't want to let the moment pass. I don't want our time to just slip by us. It's...you can't win the game unless you actually get on the field and play. What I mean is, I'm never going to get anything unless I say something, unless I ask for it. So I'm saying it now. I want to be with you."

Brooke blinks, "Clay..."

Clay shakes his head, "You don't have to say anything right now. In fact, I don't want you to. I don't want to pressure you." he says, "I just...I want you to know how I feel. Because I know we can be great together." he cups her face in his hands and presses a kiss to her forehead, "Just think about it."

With that, Clay gets on his Harley and drives away.

-xx-

Brooke sits behind the counter, sketch book in hand. She's been trying to finish up some new designs for over two hours now, but she just can;t focus. Clay's words keep playing on repeat in her head. "Ugh!" she groans, balls up another paper and tosses into the trashcan. She lets out a breath and starts the sketch over again. "C'mon, B. Davis," she says to herself, "Pull it together."

It's then the bell hanging over the door rings to announce a customer. Lucas Scott walks in, and Brooke automatically looks down, snaps her eyes shut. "Fuck my life." she mutters under her breath, then looks up to Lucas. "Luke. Hey. What're you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." Lucas answers, "I wanted to... I wanted to say that I get it. I get why you're freaked out. We were done. We'd both moved on. I'd left. So I get it." he sighs, "But we're not done. Not really. We've never had a proper ending. In some way or another, it's always come back to you. You've been there for me unconditionally. When all my dreams have come true. And then when they haven't. When everything's come together and when everything's fallen apart, you have always been there for me. It took me a long time to see it."

"Lucas—"

"I love you. And I know I'm a little late in telling you that. I've been lying to myself for a really long time now. But you've always been the scariest choice for me to make. Because you and me…it's complicated. We've never been easy. And I don't want us to be—it's not us. We're messy. It's who we are. So I just want you to take your time. You have a choice to make. And I don't wanna rush you into making that decision before you're ready. But you do have a choice to make now. And, eight years ago, when I had a choice to make…I chose wrong."

Brooke watches him walk out of the store, and she feels like she wants to faint a little bit. "Jesus, what the fuck is this? Pour-Your-Heart-Out-to-Brooke Day?"

-xx-

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Lucas furrows his brow in surprise when he opens his front door, "Rachel Gatina," he starts, leans an arm against the doorframe, "What're you doing here?"

"I knew you and Peyton coming back here was gonna be bad news. I thought you idiots would just start off the same emo-shit drama you always do. But instead, you've left Peyton. Now you're making a move on Brooke. And I don't like it."

Lucas lets out a chuckle of disbelief, "I'm sorry—are you here to threaten me or something?"

"What are we, five?" Rachel rolls her eyes, annoyed, "No, I am not gonna make some stupid threat to kill you if you hurt her. Which, incidentally, I couldn't do even if I wanted to because I have a kid and I can't afford to do time over your scrawny ass. What I'm saying is: It took a long time to make her happy. And she's finally happy. And if you mess with that, I'll turn on you."

Lucas' eyes narrow, he shakes his head, "Why are you doing this, Rachel?"

"Because I don't trust you." the redhead hisses angrily, "I don't trust you with Brooke, and I don't trust you period. When she's with Clay, I don't worry about her. Because I know Clay takes care of her. He's good for her. You? Well, all I know about you is that you've already broken her heart before. And I don't trust you won't do it again."

And with that, Rachel Gatina storms off Lucas' porch.

AN: I've decided that this story will be nowhere near as long as ROA was. Rather than tangle it up too much, I'd rather wrap it up neatly—though it won't be without a little drama. As a part of doing that, I really wanna know what YOU guys think. So tell me your opinions, and the go vote.