This is for my beautiful baby sis, Zai, who brings light into my life and is always encouraging and motivating, understanding and sweet as sugar. It's a bit lae, but happy birthday my darling. You're a year older, but you will always be our bby. I love ya.

Unbeta-ed. Sorry for the mistakes. Please enjoy regardless!

Thanks so much for sticking with me and my fics. I know I'm a slowpoke. If you want/demand an explanation, just head to my tumblr, I gave a short version of the events. Thanks for understanding and being the sweetest people on the planet. Love all of you, too.


Chapter Seven

"What now?"

Cora turns to Robert who is sitting next to her in the car, eyes boring into her, and her heart races while she finds that she hasn't the answer to that. It seems later could not come sooner.

She adjusts the collar of her dress, now back on her body and off the floor of his car, and tries to think of what to say next. She knows what she should say, that none of this should have happened now, that she is sorry she did not have much of a control, but it's not like he does not share half the blame. If she had wanted it, he obviously had wanted it, too, or they wouldn't be here now.

She knows they are bound to have this conversation, anyhow, but she wishes it did not have to be...well, right this moment when she just had one of, if not the best orgasms she has ever had in her life, and in a car nonetheless, but it seems that she doesn't have much choice in the matter.

She looks down and shrugs. "I don't know," she says, and that seems to be a good enough answer, as it is the only answer she has right now. Of course, she'd be lying if she says that she doesn't want them to take it to the next level, to date, to be together, but she cannot just suggest that and ignore all the danger they already have established from their previous conversations.

"Neither do I," he murmurs as he looks away. He taps his fingers against the steering wheel and Cora could see the worry and agitation in his eyes, and she wonders if he regrets it. She knows she, at least, doesn't, although she cannot help but wish that it's happened at a better time with better circumstances.

She bites down on her lips and gathers as much courage as she can muster to ask him, "Do you think we should talk about it?"

He nods but doesn't say anything else other than, "Put on your seatbelt," before he speeds away.

. . . . .

He should win an award for the stupidest man on the planet. After all, who else could top the stupidity he's just shown tonight?

He really is just one bad decision after another.

He doesn't regret it, what's happened...okay maybe he does a little. Not because of what they had done, because he knows he can never regret that, but because of the time, the place, and the circumstance in which it had happened. He should have done better, should have treated her better, should have waited until things get better before he'd done what he had.

He could just about smack himself in the head.

He can feel Cora's apprehension radiating from where she is seated beside him in the car, but she tells himself there is time to reassure her, to say the right things even if he does not know what on earth those could be. He tries to steal a glance at her, and finds her sitting there with a blank look on her face.

His house isn't that far from where the gallery is, and in a few more minutes they arrive, partly thanks to the late hour and lighter traffic. He parks his car on his driveway and thanks Rosamund for whisking his daughter away for a sleepover in her house since she'd known he'd get in a little late. Rosamund had not been in favour of him going if he was to take Jane with him, but she has never been able to deny her niece, and so despite Mary's "most irksome father", she'd taken the girl in.

He gets out first and helps Cora out, leading her to the door. He opens it quickly and ushers her inside.

"Would you like anything to drink?" he asks her as he shows her the living room and gestures to the couch.

She hesitates at first but then goes to take a seat before saying, "I'll have whatever you're having."

He nods and disappears to the kitchen, leaving her alone for a few minutes. She might need a few minutes alone to gather herself, as he too needs it, and some time on their own might be good for the nerves. His mind still reels even as he reaches to get a bottle of scotch and pours it in his glass. He downs it in one gulp before filling it again, and filling another glass for Cora.

He knows he should say that this should not have happened, that he should have waited, that he is sorry to put her in this situation, but it does take two to tango, and they have long since established their feelings for each other. It seems organic to have taken this step, except there is nothing organic at all about their situation.

He also knows he should tell her that this could not happen again, but damn, they have tried everything that came after that speech but that had not really worked.

"Robert?" he hears her soft voice calling for him, and he turns to find her standing at the threshold, looking very worried and almost deathly afraid.

He feels the same, to be honest.

"I'm sorry," he says immediately, "I was just thinking and I..." he pauses for a second to pick up the glass of drink he poured for her and hands it to her. "Do you like scotch?"

She covers the distance between them and stands next to him, accepting the proffered drink. "Thank you," she tells him. "It's not my favourite, but I don't hate it."

He nods, and silence sits between them uncomfortably.

"Where is Mary tonight?" she asks, and he doesn't want to but he falls a little bit harder into her. She doesn't have to worry about Mary, but she does.

"With my sister, having a sleepover," he answers, trying not to show her how deep he's fallen, trying to tell himself that he can't have fallen that hard.

Oh, but he has.

"I didn't know you had a sister," she comments lightly, and God, this isn't supposed to be this awkward—after what had happened in his car, the last thing they should be doing is skirting around each other, tiptoeing like they're walking on eggshells.

"I do," he says instead of saying what he really wants to say like, I want you Cora, not just for tonight but forever. "One sister, father, and a very annoying mother—typical."

She nods. "I have a brother," she tells him needlessly. It isn't time for chitchat.

They both know that.

Silence.

Dead fucking silence, as they both find the words to say...probably.

She finds them first, it seems, as she pipes us with a soft, almost shaking voice. "Did you regret it?" she asks, and he knows what she means, can see in her eyes the insecurity she's trying very hard to hide.

"I do," he begins, but the hurt in her eyes gives him a pause and he curses himself for putting it there...again. "But not in the way you think. I only regret the time and the place, and this awful, miserable circumstance we have found ourselves in." The explanation seems to sink in on her and she looks at him with less pain in her eyes. There is pain there, he can tell, but it isn't as bad as it had been before. "But I can never regret what we did...I can never regret kissing you, and feeling you, and tasting you. I can never regret loving you."

He doesn't know when he'd started to get closer or lean his head down, but he does know she belongs there with him as his lips presses down on hers.

. . .

Cora isn't sure what's happened. One minute she could feel the weight of the world crushing her as he admits that he regrets what had happened between them that night, and then the next he's kissing her so thoroughly it feels as though he's righting her world once more.

The kiss goes on and on, and she almost wishes that they don't stop, but kissing does not help resolve things, doesn't work out things as well as words might. His kiss could mean a thousand different things, and she would much rather that they talk now and resolve it, and then hopefully, kiss some more later.

Reluctantly and regretfully, she pulls away from him and stands back a little as to not tempt herself further.

"As much as I loved that..." she begins as he nods.

"It doesn't help anything, I know," he agrees, standing back a little as well so there is a considerable berth between them.

She sighs. "I just...I don't know where we stand now. Do you want me to keep my distance? Do I have to pretend like I don't feel for you what I do? I know there are dangers and risks, and I am still not over those...but..."

He places his finger on her lips to shush her, and smiles. It seems like he's made the decision for the both of them. "I'm so tired of doing that, and quite honestly it doesn't work. It hasn't worked."

She studies him for a moment, to gauge how serious he is being. He looks about a hundred percent genuine, and hope blooms in her chest, making her smile, until she can't hold back anymore and she throws her arms around her, hugging him tightly. She feels his arms come around her and pull her closer. And god damn, she's so happy she could actually cry.

"This is it now," he murmurs against her ear. "We are it now."

. . . . .

He asks her to stay the night.

But she declines. She tells him that she doesn't know how the night will end if they are together in the same bed. Although they have straightened things out and have now established that they will be giving it a go, they still want a bit more stability before they actually have their first time together. Besides, as she'd pointed out, she doesn't want Mary or his sister to stumble into them in bed together and have to explain everything before they are both ready.

It is a good idea, really, it just doesn't mean he can't pout about it.

And he does, as he sits inside his car outside her apartment, the engine turned off for the time being. He can't give her a proper goodbye here (already had given her a thorough one in his house before they'd left), because it is near campus and he doesn't want to run in on other students seeing them in such a compromising position.

"I'll see you soon enough," she tells him, in almost a cajoling fashion, though there is a sparkle in her eye and she is grinning.

"Not soon enough," he argues although he finally he relinquishes the tight hold he has on her hand.

She smiles at him, and he fights the urge to pull her back and kiss her. He manages to stay put until she is inside the building, waiting only a few minutes, in case something happens. Nothing happens, though, and after deeming it safe, he drives home.

His house is empty and quiet. It always is, at this time of the night. Somehow, though, tonight, he could feel the acute silence and loneliness. Cora's presence has made its mark in him, his daughter, and now—even as briefly as she had been—his house. Not much different from his life, he supposes—as short as the time that she's been in it, she's made such mark that the thought of not having her in it (whichever way she allows) makes him instantly empty.

He wonders if she feels the same way.

Ding!

His phone goes off and vibrates on the other end of the couch where he'd thrown it earlier. Fetching it from where it had wedged between cushion and couch, he swipes on the screen and unlocks it. He hadn't realized he's been frowning until his lips pulled up at the corners and his shoulders relaxed. It is her, she's texting him (as they have exchanged numbers before he drove her home), and it sends a thrill to him that he has long since thought he was over with.

He feels like a boy with his first crush...and if his memory serves him well, his first crush hadn't been this...this amazing.

He shakes his head and focuses on the message she had sent him.

'Don't sulk. Pouting doesn't become you,' it reads, and she sends it with a smiling emoji or whatever that's called, and he chuckles.

He presses reply and types up his response: 'Are you telling me that you don't find it cute? x', and then hits send.

It takes only a short time for her to reply. 'I find it absolutely hot, Professor,' she says with a wink emoji, making his heart race at the sexual innuendo. He briefly berates himself for thinking so untowardly, but the memory of their encounter in his car flashes in his mind. After that, hardly anything at all can be 'not sexual' between them anymore.

And the thought makes him hard where he's been aching for her for a long time...longer than he cares to admit. Her message makes him wonder if she is into that scene. He typically isn't since it's his actual profession and thinking that way about any of his students just seems so very wrong in so many degrees, but he's got to admit—thinking about her in that way makes him hot and bothered.

This is not the time to think of her in that way.

He groans and then types up a response.

'Don't start something neither of us can finish, Ms. Levinson,' he warns, and he knows he is playing with fire, but he can't stop himself. His brain can't stop seeing her in all her glory, naked in his arms, sitting on his lap and coming hard for him.

He bites back another groan and forces himself not to think about it until he can do something about it...like explode inside of her.

That isn't exactly a good thing to think about, he knows, because he can't do anything about it at the moment. He will only end up even more frustrated than he already is, and his current predicament (i.e., being hard as all fuck) isn't all that easy—he doesn't want to add more trouble for himself.

Oh, but Cora is trouble, alright. The kind of trouble he doesn't really mind having.

Ding!

Another message: 'I'll keep that in mind in the future, Dr. Crawley. But for right now, I'm going to head to bed and dream of you.'

He smiles. She is so very sweet, to a fault, at times, but he finds that it endears her even more to him.

He quickly types up a response:

'Goodnight, love. I'll be dreaming sweet dreams of you too. x'

. . . . .

Cora wakes up to a beautiful day, the sun seemingly smiling down at her as its rays peek through the curtains, hitting her skin. It makes her smile, in a way that it hasn't in a while now. The world outside might be a little dull and a little gray, but she had found her own little sunshine, and its light warms her to her core.

It hasn't been 24 hours since, but Cora just feels the happiness thrumming in her veins.

She tries to be ignorant to the consequences of the development of her relationship with Robert. It's not that hard when she remembers how blue his eyes are, how wonderful his smile is, and the way he'd kissed her...no it isn't very difficult to forget the ramifications and it's absolutely, positively fucking blissful.

She turns in her bed and reaches for her phone. It is a bad habit, she knows, a habit she has tried not to give in to, checking her phone first thing in the morning, and for the most part she had succeeded, but for the first time in a long time, she has found a reason to check her phone first thing...and it is Robert.

It's half past seven, and it's early, a little too early for a Saturday when she is supposed to be sleeping in, but it's a good day, and she wants to take advantage of that.

She isn't sure if Robert is up, they had been up pretty late last night, and she tries not to be disappointed in case she doesn't get a good morning text. After all, she is an adult and not a teenager in the throes of her first love. Although technically, she is in the throes of her first love, she knows it is more than just teenage love. What she has with Robert, no matter how it ends, it's something serious, something she would never forget till her olden days.

She is pleasantly surprised to find a message waiting for her. It is from Robert wishing her a good morning, and she smiles—stupidly, she knows—and then quickly types up a response of the similar sentiment.

She pushes herself out of bed after that, and takes her phone with her as she walks to the bathroom and brushes her teeth and washes her face.

The flat is surprisingly and pleasantly warm and toasty as she tiptoes her way to the kitchen. The smell of freshly brewed coffee hits her senses and the smell of eggs makes her stomach growl. She walks in the kitchen and finds Phyllis sitting on the stool, sipping coffee.

"Good morning," she greets her roommate with an all too perky smile, making her roommate's eyebrow rise.

"You're cheerful," Phyllis notes flatly, though there is a hint of question in the statement.

Cora rolls her eyes as she fetches a cup and fills it with coffee, milk, and two teaspoons of sugar. She shrugs and she turns to look at her roommate. "Good morning to you, too, Cora," she mocks. She walks over to the counter and takes a seat, before poking at the eggs that Phyllis had made, taking a forkful and shoving it in her mouth.

"Good morning," Phyllis greets with a roll of her eyes. "Are you okay?"

Cora chews thoughtfully and then swallows, shrugging. "I am, why should I not be?"

Phyllis looks at her like she has gone crazy, and maybe she has. "Why shouldn't you be?" Phyllis repeats. "Oh I don't know. Maybe because you left last night, all mopey and sad, and then you come back late only to wake up all..." she trails off as she gestures to Cora wildly. "Well, that...happy and smiley. Did aliens take over your body?"

Cora laughs and shakes her head. "They did not. I'm just feeling better about life in general."

"This coming from the woman who spent the last few weeks sulking," Phyllis replies, clearly not buying into it. "Did you...oh my god, please tell me you did not have sex with that walking carrot stick!" Phyllis looks absolutely horrified at the thought, and she looks a little green at the gills.

Huh.

Although truthfully, Cora thinks she might vomit, too.

"Hold up, wait, what? No!" Cora exclaims, and her roommate stares her in the eyes for a while before nodding, believing her. They both sigh in relief.

"Okay, I believe that, but don't tell me you didn't get some last night," she argues, making Cora balk.

Cora's eyes widen, and she swears she feels the heat climbing to her cheeks, and without even looking she knows she'd just blushed from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes. Still, she tries to play it off and feign innocence. She doubts it will work.

"What? No, of course not. What even gave you that idea?" She winces internally as she hears the too-high pitch of her voice. She's caught, she knows it.

"Uh-huh," Phyllis says, nodding patronizingly. "Then why are you blushing 50 shades of red right now, looking guilty as fuck? And please, don't tell me you just scratched that red mark on your neck. It looks like a hickey."

Cora's hand flies up to her neck where Robert had sucked last night. They hadn't talked about marks, and honestly she doesn't really give a flying fuck, but she also worries that people would find out and they'd be in trouble.

"Oh my God," Phyllis suddenly exclaims, and Cora's head snaps up to look at her roommate who now looks like she just saw a ghost. "Did you...you and Robert?"

It isn't possible to blush more, it cannot be, but somehow she is, and if that isn't a dead giveaway then Cora isn't sure what is. She grapples for words to explain, but none come, and she squeaks (actually squeaks!) as she looks pointedly away from her roommate.

"Cora," her roommate insists, and it isn't like Cora can deny it at this point. If it isn't her burning her cheeks, then the hickey is as good as a proof as it can get.

"We didn't...you know, well we did not. It isn't like that." She is flustered as she tries and fails to explain. What words can she use to explain what happened last night? Are there even words? And if there were, does she want to share it?

Her friend looks puzzled but seems like she's physically restraining herself from asking more, wanting Cora to divulge the details she wants.

She also looks worried, and it isn't like Cora can fault her for that. So many things about this situation is worrisome.

Cora bites down on her lip. "We didn't have sex, if that's what you're asking but trying not to ask directly," she continues, slowly drawling each word as if that helps her with her explanation. She doesn't owe Phyllis any explanation, though, and that she knows, but since her roommate had basically been her shoulder to cry on through the days when she'd been depressed and moping, it's not totally fair to shut her out now.

"Okay," Phyllis says with just as long a drawl.

Cora tries not to die of shame.

"We didn't...but we did do some things..." she trails off, hoping against hope that her roommate would take the hint.

It seems she does, but still, she opens her mouth—seemingly poised to ask another question would make Cora want to bury herself, but just then her phone rings.

Cora has never been happier to have a call.

"Saved by the bell," Phyllis mutters.

Cora just chuckles.

. . . . .

It's a wonderful morning to wake up to, Robert thinks, heaving a deep sigh, feeling relieved—as though a heavy weight has been lifted from his chest.

In a way, that's true. Trying to keep his feelings for Cora at bay had been a real burden. He can no longer stop falling for Cora as he can stop his breathing and continue to live. It just isn't possible. Though he can think of a hundred reasons why this thing is a mistake and wrong and might just end up in flames, burning them both as it disintegrates, he can think of a thousand more reasons that makes it worth it.

Smiling derisively at himself for becoming such a lovelorn fool so early in the morning, Robert rolls in his bed and reaches for his phone. He knows he's smiling somewhat stupidly as he sends a good morning text to Cora like some teenaged boy, but the simple gestures makes him feel things in his chest that he has long since thought he would never feel again.

It feels good though, feels good to be free—as free as this can get anyway. It feels good to feel these emotions again. It might end badly, he hasn't discounted that very big possibility yet, but he wants to work twice as hard to ensure that it doesn't.

He doesn't think he has ever felt this way, not even for Mary's mother (bless her), and it's such a terrifying feeling, so frightening but so thrilling at the same time.

He pushes his tired body out of the bed and tries to get on the day. It is a Saturday and he would have loved to sleep in, but his internal alarm clock just doesn't allow for that, and besides he is about to pick up his little girl from Rosamund's, and as much as he loves spending time with Cora (he can't even wait to do it again), he'd missed his darling little lamb, and can't wait to hear her giggling again. Maybe they can both spend time with Cora? After all, if anything—he knows that whatever he has with Cora is serious and eventually, when everything settles, they would have to introduce Cora to Mary. He knows they've met and know each other, and that Mary almost hero worships Cora, but it's different once Robert introduces her as his girlfriend, as something of a permanent fixture in Mary's life.

It might be jumping the gun a little, and he knows that he and Cora haven't spoken about it yet, but he knows both the women in his life would be nothing less than thrilled to be in each other's company.

Maybe he'll speak to Cora about it later and see what she thinks, if she'd like to meet them at the park. They could just easily explain that as a coincidence, and get away with it.

He ponders it as he steps into the shower, and then later when he makes breakfast. He's been tempted to just ask when Cora had replied to his message earlier, but his mind gets distracted at the image of her barefaced, eyes bleary and her smile sleepy as she wakes up in the morning. She must look so adorable, and he knows one day he will get the chance to finally know that for sure.

He cannot wait for that day.

Finally, when he'd washed his plates and put them away and he has settled in the living room, waiting for time to pass, he makes the decision to stop being indecisive and just let Cora to decide if she's ready and willing to spend time with him and his daughter. It might be hurrying things a bit, they have only cleared things up—and barely, at that too—last night, but it isn't like he's introducing them for the first time.

All the arguments he'd made in his head earlier still sounded good to him.

Giving in to the urge, he calls her up. She picks up on the third ring, sounding cheerful. He smiles.

"How are you doing, beautiful?" he asks softly, eyes closing as he pictures her smiling face. She is a beautiful girl, and he never would understand what she sees in him, but he isn't about to complain.

"Hello," she greets, her voice cheerful. "I'm good. I had a really good sleep and sweet dream last night. How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine, thank you love," he responds. "I do hope your dream had been of me, of us." He is an idiot. He sounds like an idiot. But he is an idiot in love.

"Always," she admits coyly, and he imagines the small, shy but nonetheless seductive smile painting her pink lips. God, he wants to kiss her. "What are you doing today?"

Now would be the time to ask her.

His heart knocks on his chest. He's half afraid it would drop on the floor.

"I'm picking Mary up from my sister's in an hour," he tells her. A pause. He gathers his courage as much as he can. Where had he left those damn courage? He needs them now but can't seem to find them.

"Robert?" he hears Cora's voice calling his name in askance. "You okay?"

He gulps. Damn it. "Er, yeah, I am," he tells her. And what the bloody hell is the big deal. Just fucking ask her, you wanker, he thinks to himself. "I was wondering..."

Words escape him. Not very usual, if he says so himself.

"Yes?" Cora urges. He hears the anticipation in her voice.

"Would you like to spend time with me and Mary today at the park?" he asks, the words sounding like he'd spat it out in one breath. His heart continues to knock in his chest.

Silence.

Just utter, fucking, deafening silence. He should have not asked. He's rushing her. She'll think that he's rushing her.

"Cora?"

He hears her breathing. He closes his eyes and reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Are you sure that's wise?" she asks him, hesitant.

He'd debated with himself over that, too.

"We'll buy you lunch." He chokes out the words, meant to be a joke, but they leave a bad taste in his mouth.

She breathes out then. "Well who can refuse that offer?" she asks him lightly, making his heart stop and then go again. He thought for sure that the other shoe would drop and the world around him would fall apart.

He doesn't even know, now, why.

"Great," he says, enthused. "We'll meet you at the park near the campus? I'd pick you up but..."

"It's more inconspicuous this way," she supplies, and he smiles, grateful. "I'll see you in an hour."

"See you in an hour, love."

. . . . .

Cora thinks her ovaries might explode or something.

She's never really thought it possible before, but, right now, right then—seeing Robert as the best version of himself, even better than when he's lecturing, seeing Robert be so natural with Mary, just seeing Robert be a father—Cora feels like she might need to go to the Doctor.

It's not just hot—though it is that, too—but it's heart warming, touching. He is in his element, and the smile on his face makes him look younger than his years. It's as though the weight on his shoulder has been lifted. She hopes that she somehow has contributed to that, but she knows as she feels it too, that is simply being here. It's sitting here, despite the cold, despite the unlikely and bound to be disastrous if it blows up in their faces situation they are in, it's being here with the people he cares for and adores that does wonder to his heart.

She wonders now as Mary comes charging towards her making her laugh, why she'd been apprehensive at first about this little outing. It isn't even about being caught, they could bluff their way out of this, and with Mary there, it's innocent enough, but she'd been scared. Perhaps, it's the knowledge now that this adorable little girl is the daughter of the man she loves, perhaps it is the novelty of spending this time with the people she loves but not being able to fully shower them with the love and affection she feels, or perhaps it's both, but she'd been anxious to say the least.

A shrieking but overjoyed Mary barrelling towards her in surprise and happiness had been enough to melt those worries away though, and for the last few hours, they'd been playing and getting better reacquainted. Her jaws and cheeks hurt from smiling too much, but she does think that her smile would last for a while.

They're having way too much fun to stop or worry about the world outside the little bubble they had created for themselves. But, Mary's stomach had other plans, and its loud growling alerted the two adults that perhaps it is time to get that lunch.

Laughing, Cora offers her hand to the little girl. Her heart skips several beats when Mary takes it without hesitation and launches on a babble of how hungry she is and what she'd want for lunch. Cora has never thought of motherhood before. She's always been fond of kids, but those kids she can return to their parents and she'd still have a good night's sleep. There is something about Mary though that just ignites every mother instinct she has in her body. It might seem too early in the game, and there are still about a hundred and one ways that this newfound relationship she has with Mary's father would burn to the ground, but Cora knows in her hearts of hearts, knows it with certainty and without a hint of doubt that she'll love this little girl like her own, already does love the little girl like her own, and that if things go right between her and Robert, she and Mary could be very good for each other.

She squeezes the little girl's hand and smiles down at her, thinking of how adorable she is and how much Cora really does already love her.

When she turns to Robert, he is sporting the same stupid grin she knows she has on her face.

Somehow, that reassures her.

The world might fight to keep them apart, but from here on out, they'll fight harder to stay together.

Together, they'd fight to choose love.


Note: Raise your hand up if you're as excited for the Downton movie! Let me know what you guys would like to see in the movie! I'd personally want some Cobert terrific fun, but if not that then I just want them to have a sincere and honest conversation about loving each other and about growing and being old together. Also let me know if you liked this chapter! Hopefully, I get to update more consistently. I'm not holding my breath, but pray for me lol