I wait for the kettle to make its trademark whistling noise, and I sit on a small stool while resting my arm on the counter. I make sure my fingers don't touch any of the flames. My eyes carefully scan the area, looking for any sign of black smoke or deadly eyes.
There is nobody but me. Kurosaki is in the living room to rest. I'm glad, but I know that the moment of being alone and away from him is short-lived. He can sense me, and he knows my scent which he once described as icy.
Though I sit beside a kettle of heating water, I feel cold from fear and I shiver while I touch my elbows up and down to calm the goosebumps in my body.
"Please, let it be just me being paranoid..." I whisper just as when I finally hear the whistle along with the sound of evaporated water shooting out.
With a cloth to keep my hand from getting burns, I pour the tea on two cups and turned off the stove. "God, help me." I wish He would hear my prayer, and for once not abandon me to suffer.
"Here you go." Passing one cup to him, he thanks me and I sit beside him before we drink the tea at the same time. "If it helps..." I say, to show him how grateful I am. "I can clean and cook around him. I'm no chef, but I know how to make decent food."
"Well, you don't have to do that." he answers with soft eyes. "But... if you insist, then you can go with us for Christmas."
The holiday of happiness and sharing, the one of the few events that so many people are looking forward to celebrate. It's only a week left until that day comes, and not once in my life have I ever celebrated it. The only thing I do there is be taken and I spend the evening by lying on the bed and feeding on scraps that Kusaka would give me.
I don't know what to answer, and time is ticking slower than a while ago. My hands regain their warmth from the cup conducting the heat of the water it's carrying, and my throat closes and opens alternately but after another sip I make my answer.
"That would be... nice, thank you. It would help me to see new faces." From him patting my back and hugging me a little closer to him, I know that he read between the lines and is trying to soothe the pain I'm feeling.
I can't cry again in front of him, for I want to express my feelings for my pain alone. I hold my tears back and I don't let them fall but I don't wipe them off either, and gently I push myself away from him.
"I'll only be here for a while, Kurosaki. You can't expect to protect me forever, even if you know my secret. Kusaka is more fearsome than you think he is."
My hand holds his, my grip so tight, because both of fear for my life and for his, along with the horror of the thought of what Kusaka might do. I hold him with such force that I feel his pulse and can tell his blood's leaving his hand.
But I fear that when I let go, he'll slip away. Why do I dread the thought so much, though I'm barely best friends with this man?
And just then, when the door opens... my fears come to life. My eyes pulse and widen, my chest constricts, my airways close, and my body turns stiff. I wish it's an illusion, but it's not. Time turns slower by a thousandfold, but many things happen and I can only charge forward and scream but they happen and the door closes.
Just as I thought...
A/N: You'll see what exactly happened there in the next chapter. And for a little confession, I like giving Toshiro a lot of angst just as I did in the other fics I made. *evil laugh*
