I'm back.

Didn't upload yesterday or the day before because I was busy with the science fair that was today.

Anyway, last chapter got a lot of reviews and I'm so thankful.

A lot of you wanted another one to go with it, and I honestly wanted to make another one to it, so here you go. I think the song fits perfectly.

Enough with my chit chat,

Disclaimer; I do now own Austin and Ally or The Mess I Made by Parachute.

The Mess I Made

Expressing my feelings was never an activity I could do easily, not in person anyway. The words never could find an escape route from my heart to my mouth. I just kept everything bottled up, willowing away inside me, like the Moon boy I am. Most of the Moon's in my family never spoke their mind unless it was something rude, especially the guys- including my father.

I never wanted to grow up and turn out a spitting image of my father like most boys do. I never wanted to turn into an neglecting monster, but I guess I have now. Me, being too wound up in work just like my father had been whilst I was growing up. I forgot about the air around me, the chemical I have to inhale in order to live. I forgot about the real reason I was here in California-singing and being able to live my dream on stage- instead of partying at the nearest clubs I could find and all the celebrities I would be able to meet like my mind absorbed as if a sponge. But most importantly, I forgot about the person that holds me down using her love as gravity- Ally Dawson.

I've lost her because of my stupid mistakes. Now, I'm floating towards space, getting tangled in contracts and record deals, tripping flat on my face with realization. It's time to get my emotions out to the person that I care most about before it's too late. Marking lead on this blank, thin piece of paper is the only chance I have left. I don't want to become my father, even though I know I already have a little and it's fighting every urge to make things right again.

Should've kissed you there

I should've held your face

I should've watched those eyes

Instead of run in place

I should've called you out

I should've said your name

I should've turned around

I should've looked again

Dear Ally,

There are numerous things I should have done, and I realized them a little too late. Now I'm paying the price for my own mistakes, letting your suffering ease off because you didn't do a thing wrong in the first place. You know what I should have done? I should have kissed you before I left that day, instead of a nonchalant hug. I should have held your face delicately in my palms and spoke the truth about how much you mean to me instead of running off into new places, exploring the walls that I thought spelled my name. I should have ran to the airport when I got your letter, shouting your name, even if I knew the plane had flew into the sky long ago instead of silently sinking to my knees like a baby. I should have turned around again when I saw that look in your eyes, defying pain instead of shrugging it off and thinking you're the same.

Maybe if I did a few of those things, or at least one, you wouldn't have left me. You wouldn't have left me alone, thinking I'd be happy with the new friend's I'd make. I never did to let you know. You would- you should still be here in my arms where you belong because I don't feel completely without your warmth and I know you don't feel safe without my arms as barriers. I was never able to express my feelings well, but it actually feels good letting that all out. It's true, even if it is the cheesiest thing you have ever read in your life.

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made

I 'm staring at the mess I made

I 'm staring at the mess I made

As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

My eyes dart around the room where we spent our last night before you left. Yes, I'm still here, in the plain hotel room that you deserted 3 months ago. I haven't stepped foot outside of this death sentence since; I've missed all the other shows scheduled. My eye balls are directed towards different objects in the room, reminding me of you, but I don't really see the depth of them. All I see is your face and the mess I've made. The disaster that I caused, a spinning tornado having a thrill ride inside my head. I haven't been okay since. I feel empty inside, a treacherous black whole evident, a whopping fifty cent piece in my heart. Can't you see what you've done to me, Ally?

Should've held my ground

I could've been redeemed

For every second chance

That changed its mind on me

I should've spoken up

I should've proudly claimed

That oh my head's to blame

For all my heart's mistakes

I should have planted my feet and held strong as they tried to push me farther away from you. But I did the exact opposite, I ran with them like a pack of wolves hunting for more food, greediness starving me for fame. I could have been helped; I need it more now than ever. If I come to you tonight, in our city that seems so far away from my touch, so far away from home, would you give me a second chance? If I gave up everything right now, including my life, would you forgive me then? I swear I'd do it. I'd come to you right now wherever you are, I'd take a knife to my throat and slice it like the tender meat sitting on the center of the table for Thanksgiving, just to know that Ally Dawson forgives me.

I promised I wouldn't let fame rush to my head. All the photos, nice accessories, and endless attention washed away my memory as if my head was dunked in a washing machine for a whole day. They made me forget my old life, the one I loved the most- the one I miss the most. Where my best memories are, my happiest days are with you and my old friends. I haven't even talked to them since we left Miami together.

I should have used my praised voice and told the truth. I should have taken you with me wherever I went, showed you off to the rest of the world. You should be because you're beautiful and absolutely amazing, way better than any celebrity I have ever seen. I honestly don't know why you would ever doubt yourself, please think highly. Knowing you're crushed because of your unbelievable insecurities kills me. You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, remember that. When I see you again which will hopefully be soon, I'll be complete again. My heart will realign itself, fix its crooked pattern and blame my mind. It soaked up all the wrong information. You aren't to blame. You will never be to blame. You're so innocent Ally.

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made

I 'm staring at the mess I made

I 'm staring at the mess I made

As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

My eyes blur, vision impaired. All I see is red, the color blinding me from any other sight. For a second, I think its blood but I don't feel any liquid goop gushing from my eyes. I'm surprised they're not glued shut, swollen from all the crying that keeps me aching at night, enabling me to sleep. A smile forms on my face, a tiny one, meaningless to the outside world but everything to me. Red is your favorite color. Remembering little things such as that save me from going haywire, ripping my golden locks out and totally destroying what I have left of my life- which isn't much.

Red is a significant color. It has tons of emotions explaining the way of life. It can mean love, the intense shade of a rose. It can mean passion, feeling a certain way with so much power, like I feel about you. It can also symbolize blood and death, the pain I'm feeling now is close to death since my heart has already died- shrunk and decayed. I'm surprised I'm not dead yet, thoughts mutualized of suicide- life without you just isn't worth living. Seeing nothing but red, wide- eyed and staring, I'm looking at the mess I caused. The mess I can't help but feel guilty and beat myself up for it every second of every day. Within the next week, if I don't get a reply, I know my last attempt has failed and the second chance has vanished. If that happens, the razor held tightly in my hand will be clasped against my bare flesh, willing the sharp edge of the blade to create irremovable damage to my no longer tan skin.

And it's you, and it's you

And it's you, and it's you

And it's falling down, as you walk away

And it's on me now, as you go

It's you Ally. It's always been you, over everything else that ever mattered, you came out on top. Even if I was distracted, you were always on the top of the list. Did you really have to leave Ally?

It's you. Ally, you are the only one that could do this to me. Only you could make me feel so weak just by simple words on an ordinary piece of paper. Only for you, would I give up my dream, thrown in the toilet where it is now-where it belongs.

My world, my heart, my life are crumbling to pieces. My internal organs, no longer functioning correctly; slowly giving up. Everything seems to fall straight down now. The rain from the clouds, the glass from the shattered window, and the tears from my face- they no longer have an experienced journey, one to reminisce on the long travel, just splat to the ground as if the awaited fall was skipped but the suffering was saved, still living inside after the harsh impact. It's all because of me, my entire fault. The illness eats me alive, rushing to the bathroom to vomit, the bigger the step you take away from me.

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made

I 'm staring at the mess I made

I 'm staring at the mess I made

As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

The mirror, left untouched, hasn't been gazed into since you left. You're finger print smudges still clear when you used to carve my smile out as we stood together, observing the happy couple in front of us. The person I see as I look at the raw image of myself, no emotion painted on. I see a younger version of my father, exhausted, evil, and hard. Coldness strikes, posing as an imposter to the warmth that has been taken away from my heart. Staring at a vacant me only brings back the road that leads to the wreck that ruined my life. Behind the steering wheel of the reckless driver was me, too busy on the phone to pay attention to the human that got horribly hurt in the other vehicle. I'm sorry Ally. The sincerest apology I can get out is only two words, and every bit of it comes deep down inside me, puking itself up after all this time. I'm sorry.

And it's falling down, as you walk away

And it's on me now, as you go

The words you spoke when we were happy, come crashing down, adding more weight to the heavy burden that balances on my shoulders.

"I love you Austin…"

"You're the best thing that happened to me…"

"Shine for me Rockstar…"

Those words echo in my ear, calling out as if you were beside me. I can almost feel your touch; smell your craved strawberry sent; your taste lingers on my tongue. A faint smile appears, reaching out to touch your soft skin but I feel air. It stiffens around me while disappointment crosses my face. Hallucinations weren't supposed to happen after this short of time, Ally. I'm losing it.

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made

I 'm staring at the mess I made

I 'm staring at the mess I made

As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

If you could look at me right now, peer into my soul, you'd see that mess I made for myself when you left. You'd see how much you really mean to me and how much you broke me. I love you, try to see that. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love every part of you: your doe brown eyes, your luscious hair, ivory skin, and your heart of gold that swallows Texas, I love it all. I hope this letter changes your mind about what I've become. I hope this letter changes everything. If it doesn't, goodbye. I'm sorry, I truly am. I love you, please don't ever think differently. Even when you didn't think I still did, I loved you. Ally Dawson, I love you.

Love Austin,

The boy, who was blinded by fame until the best thing that ever happened to him, vanished.

I will make this to a Three-Shot, because this wasn't enough. It was just Austin's view.

The next time I post, it will be the ending along with the reviews I will do.

I can't tonight, but still comment what you think.

What song should I use for their reuniting? Should it be a phone call?

More importantly…. REVIEW on it personally!

Thanks!

~BrandyyElizabeth

P.S. It took a long time.