The noise got louder as I walked closer to the top of the stairs. Lovino was steady showing as Antonio tried to calm him down. I leaned on the wall and sighed, something is telling me I know who he might be yelling out. A part of me wanted to go back in my room and stay under the covers until he left. But then... I sighed again and slowly walked down the stairs. Everything getting louder as I got closer.
"You're such a fucking idiot! It isn't like he wants to see you anyway."
"I just want to talk to him." Ludwig sighs, "You can't even let me have that?"
"Bullshit. I'm not letting you anywhere near Feliciano! Not after the shit you pulled." Lovino shouted back and got close to Ludwig. Antonio looked over at me as I watched frowning from where I stood.
"F-Feli?" Antonio mumbled, having Ludwig and Lovino look towards me. "Gilbert said you went sleep."
"I was or, at least trying to... Why are here, Ludwig? To avoid this you could have just called me." I said with a plain tone of voice. I didn't look at him, I couldn't look at him. He took a moment and walked up to me.
"I only wanted to talk to you. The past couple of days had me thinking about what I said earlier. It was a mistake and I... I was listening to the wrong thoughts..." He mumbled, not even making eye contact with me. That's not a surprise when you think about it. Ludwig was never good with feelings. It kind of made me smile a bit seeing how cute he looked, but I snapped myself out of it just as fast as the thoughts came flowing in.
"R-right..." I sighed and walked to the door, motioning him to to follow.
"What? Fratello, where are you going?" You can't seriously believe that he-."
"It's okay, Lovino," I smiled at him, "I'll be back soon. We're only going to talk." Lovin sighed, turning and walked away as Antonio went after him. Ludwig followed me out to his car.
"Where are we going exactly? I thought we were going to your room and talk?"
"We're going to talk, don't worry." I replied, smiling back at him waiting for him to unlock the door. "I just... I want to be alone so my brother or Antonio interrupting. Let's go to your place. Gilbert's not there is he?"
He shook his head slightly and unlocked the car doors, getting in and starting it up. I tried to kept calm and set my mind to focus. The drive to his house felt longer than it should have, we didn't speak to one another, it was just silence until we got to his house.
We both got out the car and I let Ludwig walk ahead of me as I took in the image of the building. He looked back at him and called my name to get my attention.
"R-right, sorry..." I laughed, putting on a weak smile as I walked into the house. It was still as clean as ever. I guess I should be glad that me being away didn't mess up his wellbeing. Ludwig sat down on the sofa, waiting for me to sit beside him before speaking.
"... Feliciano, I know I said I wanted time to think about being with you and I did... I thought about it enough to know that I want to be with you. It's true that you have changed a lot since you came home. I do miss the old you, the bubbly hyperactive you... I miss that. Plus, I want to say I'm sorry for thinking you were cheating on me with Gilbert. You told me you wasn't and I shouldn't have let my anger got the best of me." Ludwig too my hand and held it firmly, "Please look at me, Feliciano..." He side, his voice painful and cold.
I kept myself from looking at him, I know if I did I would start crying. That's not something I want to show... Not just yet. Still glaring at the coffee table in front of us I replied back, "You don't know what you did to me... You say you want this person back... A person you destroyed and yet you want them back. How am I supposed to do that, Ludwig? I'm sorry I'm not the same person I used to be. But I do have to say you were right about some of the things..." I smiled, "I slept with Gil once... I believe. It was a weird moment, right before I went to the mental hospital. Then there was this incident in his car. I can't remember much after leaving the hospital recently..."
It was quiet. Ludwig let go of my hand and my heart sunk. I'm not sure what to do! I don't want to look at him, I'm already on the edge of crying. I sat still and kept looking at the table. Soon I could feel Ludwig's arms around me, pulling me into a huge. He ran his fingers through my hair and slowly whispered to me.
Sadly, I couldn't make out what he had said. My mind and body was frozen in a moment. I knew that, by now, I was already crying just from that huge. "It's okay, Feliciano," He starts, "I am a little pissed off that you would cheat on me... But I know I wasn't all that helpful at the times you need me. You needed someone and I wasn't there for you..."
My breathing hitched and every second felt like it was moving slower and slower. Slowly, I could feel my arms wrap around him as I cried in his chest. Over and over again and mumbled I was sorry. Although, I wasn't sorry about all the shit I've done to him... But I had I plain and I was going to see it through... I was saying sorry in advance.
Ludwig picked my head up and gave me one of his soft smiles. It only made me cry more when he came closer and kissed me. His grip got tighter while the makeout moment for more heated. I started getting lost in his kiss and felt myself melting. It's been a while since he's kissed me... Maybe I miss it... I know I'll miss it even more.
He slowly moved away and whispers in my ear. It was so soft, so warm. I leaned against him, holding onto his shirt as I calmed down. Ludwig looked down at me and ran his fingers through my hair slowly. Purposely hitting my curl as he did so.
"Feli... I want to make it up to you."
"... That might be hard. Harder than you think, Ludwig." I mumbled back, clinging to his shirt as I held myself together. I needed to hold back, to get him to go upstairs with me. There is more than one way, but only one of them is the best way.
I pulled back and gave him a light, cute smile; "We should head to your room? I wouldn't want Gil to walk in on us." Ludwig chuckled and smiled back at me, kissing my cheek.
"You wouldn't have to worry about him. He has his own thing, he won't be back tonight." He left soft kisses down my neck. Sending my mind in a state of shock. I wanted it, I wanted him, but it was too soon... I still wasn't able to hold back. Ludwig leaned me down onto the sofa, moving his hand up my shirt. His fingers were cold. He was cold. Everything after felt like how it used to be before this. Before all of this.
I closed my eyes, letting him take control just like he used to. He began to speak to me; slow, soft words running through my head but I was unable to make them out. Questions, dirty talk, I wouldn't know; everything went so fast.
I blacked out.
