So I'm really sorry for not updating sooner but life kind of caught up and I had to handle that first. As always thanks to all you amazing people who alerted/favourited and/or reviewed this story! You are the best! :)

Disclaimer: Anything that relates to Glee is sadly not mine^^

Santana just looked at Brittany after this confession. She was confused. Was this the big secret Quinn had been keeping? Did Brittany fall out of love with her after all that happened?

Brittany saw the confusion and hurt in Santana's eyes. She had to elaborate so that Santana wouldn't get the wrong idea.

"I mean it's not you. It's me since I woke up I..." there was a big lump forming in her throat. Moments before she was fine and now she was scared she had seen the hurt in Santana's eyes and was afraid so very terrified the look these brown eyes would get if she told her the truth. But then again she couldn't really feel it. She was pinned down and knew that Santana had been so patient with her and cared for her so lovingly that she deserved the truth more than anyone. Seeing how the only emotion she seemed to feel was this huge amount of anxiety it didn't make it easier to work up the courage to tell Santana what exactly she was going through. But she knew she had no way out now.

The Latina who was still pinning Brittany down noticed how tense Brittany got as she tried to explain to her what was going on and while being absolute terrified of what these cute pink lips were about to spill she cradled the blonde in her arms to soothe her and try to reassure her that everything would be alright although even she wasn't sure of it anymore.

" You know since I woke up.. it's just so hard to.. it's hard to feel anything except this numbing pain." Brittany took big breath to finish her little speech. " I just really don't feel anything at all. When I see Lord Tubbington there would normally be warmth and I would enjoy petting him, when I woke up in the morning and the sun kissed my face I felt happy and when you kissed me I felt like I was where I belonged. When you touched me my tummy felt like it was filled with butterflies and my skin would burn and I would just feel so great and loved and now there is nothing I feel your warmth in every embrace but all those feelings of love that were there are kind of gone. I don't know why but they just are. I'm so sorry Santana. I didn't mean for this to happen. Please don't be mad."

While Brittany finished Santana froze. Brittany didn't feel anything towards her anymore. Santana needed time to process everything that happened. She just got Brittany back and now she was faced with her greatest trial so far. She was scared so much in this moment. If Brittany told her she didn't love her anymore she would make her fall in love with her again. She would fight for Brittany's love like a lioness but she didn't know what to do in this moment. What do you do with someone who can't feel love? How do you make them feel it again?

All these months Santana had kept it together, to be strong for both of them but this news seemed to much for her. She was overwhelmed, terrified even at the prospect of her usually bubbly blonde girlfriend to be like this forever just not being able to feel or for that matter love.

She knew what she did was wrong but she just couldn't take it. She ran. She jumped out of Brittany's arms and ran out of their apartment. She heard Brittany call her name but she just couldn't turn around to see this girl she loved so much in this state knowing what it really meant for the first time.

Santana ran like she was chased down by a wild dog. She ran down the streets not knowing where she was going. After a some time she came to a stop. She looked around and found that she ended up in a small park. It was dark and she could barley see more than a few meters ahead. The wind was whistling and flew through the leaves making it's own special music of the night.

She quickly called Quinn and asked her to check on Brittany. After that she looked around more and saw a small path leading further into the dark park. She followed the path which led to a small pond. The moonlight shone brightly at the pond and illuminated the water. It made everything seem so peaceful. She sat down at the pond and started crying. It was just so much for her to comprehend. She felt so ashamed for walking out on Brittany when she knew she should have been there for her. Be strong for her. She felt bad for having to call Quinn again to do what was her duty. And most of all she hated herself for being so weak.

She was Santana fucking Lopez she should be the strong one but then again she knew she wasn't always the strong one. Although Brittany was a child at heart she was very perceptive and knew when the Latina felt hurt and would always try to make her feel better. It could just be a much needed hug or sharing her favorite sweets with her. It made her always feel better. But now she had to fend for Brittany and for her own. It was a burden she was willing to take after what happened but she still had times where she almost collapsed under it, which made her like today try to escape. Giving her time to cope.

The Latina liked this park. Although it was rather small it was peaceful and you got a feeling that you were kind of away from everything. Santana lay down in the soft grass enjoying the melody the wind seemed to play only for her and the way the moonlight illuminated the pond. She felt her eyelids get heavy and although she was in the middle of a park she fell asleep.

Brittany had a huge freak out. After she spilled the beans to Santana she just ran away. She didn't know what to think. She paced the apartment went from living room to kitchen and back. She was restless and didn't know what to think. Would Santana break up with her over this? Would she be mad and yell at her when she came back? Would she even come back?

She started shivering when she thought about seeing the Latina again and telling her she couldn't handle Brittany anymore. That she didn't want her anymore. She knew that what happened to her at the studio destroyed a part of her. A shard of her soul forever lost. She couldn't endure Santana leaving. She didn't know how much pain a body could bare until it would shut down completely and just stop functioning all together but she was pretty sure that Santana leaving her would make her body crumble to a pile that would never be functioning again. She didn't know how long she had been pacing the apartment when the door opened and Quinn showed up. She was wearing sweat pants and a shirt that seemed too big for her and her hair was a mess. As soon as Brittany saw Quinn she ran into her arms.

"Shh hey what happened? What did Santana do? I'll kick her ass for you." Brittany didn't answer and just buried her head in the crook of Quinn's neck. Knowing that her blonde friend seemed to need the warmth, she went to sit on the living room couch. After some time Brittany resurfaced. "Quinn what are you doing here?"

"Well Santana called me and asked me to check on you. Before I could ask what was wrong she hung up so I rushed here. Want to tell me what happened?"

Quinn asked gently before placing a kiss on the top of Brittany's head.

"I told Santana. And then she ran away. What should I do Quinn? I couldn't endure to loose her too." Brittany voice sounded as if she was a scared little girl and it made Quinn want to protect her even more. She had this girl in her arms who was hunted by nightmares she was forced to endure and she felt that she had to hold her really tight because she could break at any point.

But how strong can you embrace such a fragile creature, trying to hold everything she is together without crushing her yourself?

Right now Quinn knew she couldn't let her thoughts digress so much as it was her task right now to care for Brittany as much as she could.

" You won't loose her B. She stayed six months with you while you were out of it and I never saw her complain about caring for you. It's just hard for her. You know her, she wants to be strong all the time but when something is happening she runs away because she can't keep up. But I'm sure she will come back. She loves you Britt."

"She looked hurt Quinn. What if that was just the last straw and she realized she can't take it anymore?" Brittany sounded more and more terrified with every word.

"She will come back to you Britt I promise. Just give her a moment to sort out this thing she calls her head and she will realize her mistake." She knew Brittany would try to talk her down so she started humming trying to lull Brittany to sleep.

Fortunately it didn't take long for Brittany to fall asleep in Quinn's warm embrace.

Santana woke up with a start. She looked around and found herself in a park. It was dark. She shook her head a few times as everything came back to her. Brittany's revelation, her running away and the heavy eyelids while lying in the grass. She looked at her watch. It was 3 o'clock in the morning. She hadn't really looked at her watch but she guessed that she had gone out of the apartment around ten so she would have been sleeping for almost 5 hours minus her mad girl dash from the apartment. She knew she had to go back to talk to Brittany. After her time lying her and thinking the only thought that remained was that she was a huge douche bag. She had to get to Brittany to talk to her. She stood up and began running but unlike last time she wasn't running away she had a destination and ran with meaningful steps towards it. Towards her.

She reached the apartment door at 3:30. She hadn't realized how far she actually ran away from home last night. She quietly opened the door and was greeted with a slap to the face. Quinn was standing in front of her anger was written all over her features. "Where the fuck do you think you ran off to? I thought I told you to talk to her and not fucking running away when she opens up!" Quinn was all but growling in her direction. While her little rant Santana took a better look at her friend. She wore sweat pants and a really big t-shirt. She had bags under her eyes and they looked angry and really tired. It made Santana feel bad that she's always making Quinn pick up the pieces she left or couldn't put back together. So without further notice Santana stepped forward and hugged Quinn as if her life depended on it. Quinn was taken by surprise by this action and struggled against the embrace but relaxed soon into the Latina. "I'm so sorry Quinn. I know I always just call you up whenever I need you and you have a life and a job and hell it is my job to take care of my girl. Just thank you for looking out for her. For us. I could never repay you the kindness and care." This was probably the nicest thing Santana ever said to Quinn. She had tears forming in her eyes and she knew that she couldn't be mad at the Latina anymore but she had to remind her that what she did was wrong. "You know that I love Brittany. She is my friend hell my sister. But you can't leave her hanging like this just as you said it's US that have to fight for her. So keep your shit together next time." Santana chuckled slightly. "I try my best. It's good to know that when I screw up someone like you is looking out for her." With that Santana stepped out of the embrace. "So Fabray get your skinny ass out of my apartment you look like hell. Should catch up on that beauty sleep of yours."Quinn huffed, it was just like Santana to cover up with witty remarks once she got sappy.

"Sorry Lopez not everyone can look as hot as you. I mean seriously where did you go? Your hair looks like a bird's nest?" With that she grabbed some grass out of the Latinas black hair. "Well I was in the park thinking and fell asleep."
" When I came here Brittany was a mess. I managed to get her to sleep and she is lying in bed. I'll trust it that you won't upset her further?"

"Hell no I want to sort this out. Trust me Q I got this." Quinn seemed to relax at this.

She walked past Santana and stopped as she was at the door. "See you San and if anything happens again I will promise you two things. One: I will be there for you two and two: If you call me again late at night after an exhausting day at work I will make you feel better just to make you miserable again and end you." With that she shut the door. Once the blonde was gone Santana took long deep breaths. She felt nervous because she had considerably hurt Brittany. She calmed down enough to walk into the bedroom seeing Brittany sleeping on the bed.

She quickly discarded her shoes and strode over to the bed and laid down next to Brittany and began to snuggle into her and embracing her carefully. She didn't want to wake her from her seemingly peaceful slumber. But even though Santana was really careful Brittany stirred and cuddled up to the warm body beside her. She opened her eyes slightly and before she could do anything Santana gently kissed her forehead. "It's okay B. I'm sorry about before. I won't run away again I promise."

"Pinky Promise?" Santana smiled a little at the blonde antics and wrapped her pinky around hers. "I promise. And I promise that we talk tomorrow but for now I think we both need sleep." Brittany just nodded and closed her eyes placing her head on Santana's chest. "Sing for me?" Brittany's request was whispered but Santana heard it none the less and started singing for her girlfriend.

You don't know but that's okay
You might find me anyway
Don't you know that I
Belong arm in arm with you, baby
In a town that's cold and gray
We will have a sunny day
Don't you know that I
Belong arm in arm with you, baby…

While she listened to Santana's beautiful voice and being in her warm embrace for the first time since she woke up Brittany thought there was indeed hope. Even for her.

A/N: Hope you liked this one. I hope the chapter wasn't too rushed but I think it was important to see that Santana can not be in all situations the perfect person and that everyone has a point where they can't take it anymore. Please as always review because your reviews always make my day! :)