Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
Interview 7 Ultimate Villain
BT: welcome to the show, I'm your host BT
BT is currently sitting inside what appears to be a prison block with cells on each level with him right in the middle of the opening of the 'yard' currently there is a LOT of prisoners cheering like mad at BT… seems like they all love his show…
Cameraman: why are you so popular here?
BT:… good question, hey why are you all cheering me?
Prisoner: because you got the best show, not to mention we can safety laugh at the insane stuff that happens on your show without been blasted to bits
BT:… errr you know that if any of the aces get in here they'll likely demolish you all
Prisioner: if they do we'll greet them warmly
The guy licks his lips… BT looks angry from the large bulging vein that threaten to pop, then grabs a steel chair
BT: be right back!
The sound of wailing death as BT goes on a rampage upon those who would even THINK of such thoughts of the aces are now getting their just desert… of course most of the prisoners by all means have not such thought of doing THAT, so they all cheered as BT showed them what he could do… which is no better than what some of his guest do to relief their anger…
Cameraman: I swear he's becoming just like them from the amount of time he spends with them
BT returns with his shirt covered in blood and his trousers ripped to shreds the deadly steel chair now deformed beyond recognition
Cameraman: isn't the interviewer not supposed to go on a rampage??
BT: I'm a fan first then a interviewer
Cameraman: wish I could share you view but the manager said that if you go berserk it's fine but any of us will be fired…
BT: can't be helped, I'm working with little to no pay actually no pay since I'm still paying for some of the destruction caused by our guest…
BT walks off and returns in five minutes with a new black suit with a black tie
BT: anyway let's begin the show shall we?
Young Nanoha: yes you should
BT:… why are you here?
Young Nanoha (YN): well I was neglecting of helping you of late, so I came back after my extensive training
BT: well I'm sure that training will come in handy, still glad to have you on the show helping
YN: it's a pleasure
BT: anyway let's begin, my guest today is living a comfortable life in this prison with no fear of been turned into a pile of mince meat by our beloved and justly deserved aces, he also has this strange thing for little boys Erio if you're seeing this HIDE! not to mention he's the so called father of the numbers, with annoyance I welcome to the show Jail Scaletti!
A warden walks in with Jail wearing his lab coat, he sits in the seat in front of BT and YN and waves the guard away
BT:… why are you in your lab clothes and not in your prison suit?
Jail: I have to look my best
BT: oh well, first off what do you think of your status of been the most hated person by everyone?
Jail: an interesting position, as I've always wanted to have some form of admiration from a large body of people, be it hate or love as they're all the same to me
BT: do you have a death wish of saying that?
Jail: by all means I do not have one, but it seems that no matter what I say will change anyone's mind of what they think of me
BT: well let's move on to the next question, why are you into little boys?
Jail looks carefree with drool running down his mouth… a few of the prisoners begin to vomit and die from the sight, even BT has to hold himself back from lobbing the guys head off with his chair!
Jail: little boys are so nice and cuddly, won't you agree?
BT: errr… I think I'll pass on even answering that question
Jail: ah, I wonder will I ever get my hand on Erio-kun
In some god forsaken place Erio is currently shivering as he's chained to a bed with Caro in a cat suit
Caro: well looks like Jail wants you badly… but not as bad as me
Erio: oh please someone help!!
Caro jumps on and sinks her teeth onto Erio's neck
BT heard what seemed to be a scream followed by a blood curling laughter…
BT: well moving on, what are you thoughts of the numbers?
Jail: they are my finest creation and I treat them like children
BT: could you name any priceless moments?
Jail: one time Otto and Deed was bathing while the others were working in the training room, when they came round they heard funny noises, they burst in to find Otto on top of Deed and question arisen as to what they were doing, when Otto simply said "I'm on top of Deed" they all went crazy
BT: errr… is Otto a girl but LOOKS like a guy… that's scary
Jail: ah but all my numbers are girls
BT: by chance if they were a boy you would be on them faster than I can say "loli"?
Jail: ah yes it would be such a waste
Jail returns to his happy land thought… everyone in the prison is currently hanging themselves at the very thought of what Jail just put into their heads… BT is been held back by the cameraman after he grabs a spare chair bash Jail for even suggesting that!
Warden: Mr BT, I need your assistance for a moment
BT: what is it I'm in the middle of an interview
The warden drags BT away leaving Jail and YN… they make eye contact
Jail: hmmm you're her younger self… I wonder what if I try this…
Cameraman: I wouldn't do that if I were you
BT is lead to the front door, without another word he's chucked out to be greeted by what appears to be a war that is over with tanks and even a ship littering a stretch of one mile in front of him… standing in the middle of this carnage is the White Devil and Nanoha's Wife, better known as Fate, looking very angry
BT:…errr why are you two always showing up to these interviews?
Nanoha blast the ground in front of BT as he leapt back
Nanoha: kill Jail
Fate: eradicate Jail
They're both pointing their devices at BT and powering up their most powerful attacks, Plasma Zamber Breaker and StarlightBreaker Ex with the four bits also powering up…
BT: I know you want to kill him… hell I want to chop his head off!!
The two aces stop their attacks as BT goes on a rampage by head butting a destroyed tank turret… and ripped it in half by his constant head butting… he calmed down after that while the two aces look at him worriedly and wonder is the stress getting to him
BT: OK, I'll make a deal with you two IF you don't demolish this prison
Fate: name it
BT: I'll bring him out AFTER I finish my interview with him, you can do whatever you want with him after I'm only interested in getting him to answer my three last questions
Nanoha: fine, but bring out Quattro, I've got a Starlight Breaker with her name on it
BT:…errr that maybe a little hard to get her to…
Watch her aim a half prepared Starlight Breaker with her eyes glowing red
BT: OK!! I'll do it just stop trying to incinerate me!
BT returns to find half the prison block is demolished and the cameraman is still intact… maybe he's invulnerable like BT?? In the middle of the mess is YN looking royally… you get the idea
BT: errr… where's Jail?
YN: you mean this?
She raises Raising Heart in Excellion mode that has a bloodied Jail hanging at the tip of the spear… Jail looks fascinated by something
Jail: my, my, she has the temper for such a young girl
BT:… somehow I wish I returned like an hour later to find out how much of you were left
Cameraman: hey that means there wouldn't be a prison either if you came back in an hour time
BT: ack… you have a point, let's see, WHOSE STILL ALIVE!!
About twelve return his call while the rest just moan or groan as the medic runs about helping the unfortunate to be blasted by 'accident' from YN during her rampage at shooting Jail… BT has no wish to even know what did the guy did to make her go on a berserk rampage for his own safety
BT: oh well let's continue then
Jail sits on the, miraculously, intact chair
BT: OK, first off do you have any hobbies?
Jail: I like to observe Zeck as he shows off his muscles to me, it fascinate me to no ends at his manly body
BT:…
Everyone went silent as they all wonder is Jail somehow suggesting he's into men
Jail: if only he was a little boy it would make it much more entertaining to watch
NY and BT are been held back by twelve wardens after the two nearly jumped Jail and unleash terrible vengeance upon the man… and who could blame them!
BT: right… anyway le… can you guys hear something?
From the corridor comes monsters that look humanoid but then legs and arms are blades while their heads is suspended a foot from their body by spikes… it jumps at BT only to get walloped by the interviewers deadly weapon… the chair
BT: what are you guys doing here?
The thing simply screeches until BT beats it up with the chair a few more times
BT: wrong set this is a interview, you're suppose to appear in the set called The Suffering ten blocks down
The monster looks round then sees the young White Devil looking positively evil with blood red eyes and Raising Heart powered up to fire a Starlight Buster… even monsters are afraid of something, especially if they're little girls that have a tendency to blast things to atoms!
The monster fled quickly from the set allowing BT to return to the interview… with a new chair after he manage to dented his own beyond recognition
BT: speaking of Zeck why did you bring him back to life, and please don't use the excuse of his muscles were the reason
Jail: of course that was only part of the reason, the other was that I wanted to give Lutecia a companion during her travel, since she wanted someone strong I immediately thought of those beautiful well carved muscles of Zeck might do the job
BT:… why not one of your numbers?
Jail: I suggests this to all of them but they immediately said no on the grounds that they'll be eaten alive if they so much as step out of line with Lutecia
BT:… I can understand their point, then how come Zeck is still in one piece?
Jail: it is his awe inspiring muscles which has been his only protection
BT: I think it's the fact that if Lue killed Zeck she would be branded as the one who killed a muscle lover… I thin that reputation was the reason why she stayed her hand
Everyone agreed, no one wanted to be called "The Muscle Slayer," for life …
BT: oh well, where is Quattro, I haven't seen her
Jail: she's right here
Uno comes in with Quattro… she's eating paper for some odd reason and spitting them back out with words on them…
BT:…
Jail: I've modified her for faxing, it was an interesting idea since I was bored
BT: have you made any modification to Uno??
Uno: no, since I refused while Quattro agreed…
BT shared a uneasy look to Uno who, despite looking calm, sighs knowing that everyone is thinking the same thing "thank the other numbers are safe from him,"
BT: anyway I got some fans dying to meet you and Quattro
Jail: oh, is that so
BT: yes, they request to see you… in person, will that be fine?
Jail: this has nothing to do with luring me to find my fans pointing magical charged weapon of mass destruction with a itching to take bits of me home to use to relieve their frustration of what I did to people?
BT kept a straight face as he didn't want to let out that is probably what's going to happen to Jail
BT: nope, nothing like that will happen to you…
Jail: well then let's be off and see them
BT whispers to YN who instantly walks off and the sound of a crazy laughter as YN goes on a berserk rampage on set ten… looks like the Monsters demon has followed them there too…
BT: follow me
BT leads Jail pass a corridor which is scorched with bits of pieces of stuff lying around, as to what those things are BT didn't want to know, on one wall carved into it reads "the devil isn't red it's white and it's a little girl!" he had to agree with the line… at least the strategy of distracting the warden is working… maybe a little too well.
BT: OK please step through, I'll be there shortly once I get the camera equipment through
Jail walks through the door with Quattro… BT slams the door and bolts it before placing a AMF field around it in case of any stray magical blast that might blow the door and him up with it
Outside Jail finds not only Nanoha and Fate, but a legion of fans waving all manner of death weapons… most of them been pens which is used for writing death threats to the poor guy
Jail: my, my, I didn't expect you two to be at the front of the queue
Those were his last words as the raging mob engulf him before a Starlight Breaker blast the group that was around him again and again, so in short both Jail and the Jail hater fans are been obliterated as well… this didn't seem to matter to either the two raging aces nor the fans who want to see blood
BT hears the battle cry then the blasting began, YN has returned smiling happily while her skirt is covered in blood…
BT: well thanks for watching; next week I'll be looking for my guest, I should get the information where to find her shortly
From a puff of smoke appears a ninja… with a camera round his neck
Ninja Cameraman: I've found her
BT: good to hear, so I'll see you next time as I go and hunt her down
YN: and I'll be there too to see who he's interviewing
Younger Fate: so will I
BT: errr aren't you kind of late showing up?
YF: my older self was teaching me about something… interesting
YF turns a bright shade of red… BT didn't even need to ask what she was been taught, for his own safety and his crew
Cameraman: don't tell me our informer and the one who took those photos is a Ninja Cameraman?
BT: yep, I even got a Samurai Cameraman, Pirate Cameraman, Shaman Cameraman, Marine Cameraman from the Warhammer 40K universe and so on
Cameraman: why so many?
BT: the guest tend to slaughter them if they find out
Cameraman: true
BT: well that's all for today, so until then, Later
The warden gives BT an invoice for the destruction wrecked by YN
BT: well that's thirty insurance companies gone bankrupt since this show started…
