A/N: Okay guys, you might hate me when this chapter is over.

Spock stood, his meditation interrupted by a soft knock on the doorframe. A elegantly dressed man smiled at him, his silver hair short and warm brown eyes glancing between the vulcan and the captains prone form.

"Ambassador"

"Spock"

Spock rolled his trousers down from the knee and placed his hands respectively behind his back.

"I was not aware you knew of the captains condition"

Spock smiled warmly at his younger counterpart and stepped over the threshold, silver robes flowing behind him.

"I was not, but I was visiting a friend here and I came across your doctor McCoy in the hall. He informed me that my grandson was here with your captain and that he may need a companion at this difficult time"

Spock tilted his head "He believed you are my grandfather?"

"Yes"

Spock sighed inwardly, glad that McCoy had not investigated further. The ambassador walked quietly to Jim's side and stared down at him, before glancing up to Spock.

"I know this must be difficult for you, as it would be for me if my t'hy'la was in such a diminished state"

Spock stared for a moment before shaking himself and glaring at the old man "What did the doctor tell you?"

"He did not tell me anything young one. But it seems that what was once true for me is also true for you"

Spock stepped forward frowning "The Kirk in your world was…t'hy'la"

Spock smiled sadly at the first officer "He was and always will be"

The two men shared a quiet moment before the elder spoke again "Spock, is your captain aware of how you feel?"

Spock shook his head, eyes still trained on Jims pale sweat covered brow. The old man sighed "Listen to me young one. I kept my emotions a secret for many years before I was… forced to reveal them. It was then I discovered that Jim too harboured these emotions and to this day I mourn the needless loss of the years we could have shared. I urge you to not make the mistake I did and realise that humans, although they express them more readily, are just as scared of their emotions as we are and much less inclined to act on them"

Spock stared openly at him, "You are telling me that if Jim feels similar emotions…he would not reveal them to me?"

"I expect not Spock"

The vulcan stared down at his t'hy'la emotions flooding his chest "Humans are…complicated"

Spock smiled warmly and tilted his head.

"This is true young one. Don't forget what I said"

Spock looked up at him and bowed his head slightly "Thank you ambassador"

"I must leave now, your crew will be on their way to visit and I don't think explaining our situation to so many would be advisable"

The science officer smiled inwardly and nodded, "Goodbye, friend"

Spock smiled hands clasped behind his silver robes, letting the warmth he felt shine in his eyes "Good luck young one".

The vulcan watched as he retreated and when he was alone once more turned back toward the bed. He allowed himself a liberty and reached out, hand brushing across his captains fevered brow, eyelids fluttering at the touch. It was in this position that the bridge crew found him, five pairs of eyes flickering from the vulcans concerned face to his hand and back.

Spock quickly removed his hand and placed it safely behind his back, acutely aware that he had not showered and his hair was sticking up from running his own fingers through it in worry, shirt still slightly damp with his and the captain sweat.

Spock tilted his head "Mr. Scott, Mr. Sulu Mr. Chekov, Nyota, doctor" he nodded at each person in turn, eyes flickering back to Jim before he moved around the bed to stand in front of the crew.

"How... how is he?" Chekovs nervous voice wavered in the air and he stood closely to Sulu, sharing a worried glance with the other members of the group, Spock turned to face him.

The five members of the crew were equally dishevelled although not as much as Spock and all seemed uncomfortable, Mr. Scott clutching a small bouquet of wilting flowers, tulips.

Jims favourite.

Spocks throat seemed to constrict and he shook himself internally "He is stable"

Relief was awash in the cool clammy air and Spock gestured to the numerous seats around them waiting for them to be seated before he spoke again.

"He has not yet awoken, although the doctors are trying to diagnose him"

All the crew pointedly ignored the fact Spock was standing at the captains side, hand mindlessly drifting across and gripping the unconscious mans bicep.

They shared a awkward nod and the doctor spoke up "They have a few theories, and I think they have narrowed it down to a few possible infections"

Everyone nodded and there was another tense moment and Spock glanced from his captain to the crew.

"I believe the captain would wish me to thank you for visiting him"

Spocks voice was quiet and everyone smiled at him shakily, Spock frowned internally. He sounded weak, pathetic and yet they did not seem to care.

"He will be okay wont he?" Chekovs voice was hopeful and he looked up at Spock large eyes pleading.

"Yes of course he will"

Nyota's voice was strong, confident, her eyes boring into Spocks and the group seemed to brighten, positivity shining in the air around them.

"Yeah, Jim wouldn't let a silly little virus kill him" Scotty waved his hand in the air as if to indicate how silly the idea was.

McCoy smiled and the crew stood as one as if they had decided at once to leave, placing the flowers in a vase at the side of his bed, each member glancing down at the captain and away as if the image disturbed them.

Nyota remained where she was, pointedly ignoring the confused glances the crew gave her.

"I'll meet you guys later"

She raised her eyebrows and the crew nodded, waving goodbye to Spock as they turned to leave.

"Tell him hi from us when he wakes up"

Spock bowed his head in agreement and watched them leave, eyes trained on their backs until they disappeared from view. Nyota stood quickly and wrapped her arms around Spocks defeated frame.

"Oh Spock"

He sighed and placed his hands on her back, face on her shoulder.

"Nyota I must admit, I am anxious to hear him speak again"

Nyota pulled back, hands on his cheeks before releasing him "He will be fine Spock"

The vulcan sighed and stepped away, his mind a flurry of emotions and thoughts.

"Do you believe the crew is… aware of my emotions?" he glanced up at her, blushing slightly and she smiled at him crossing her arms.

"Spock, I think you and Jim were the last to know"

Spock tilted his head and she chuckled softly "You haven't exactly hidden it well recently"

He frowned "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes and stepped toward him, hand on his forearm "Spock, honey, I don't want to offend you but you look like crap" she looked him over, taking in his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes.

Spock closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his waist, shame filling his chest. He moved away and walked into the family room, ignoring her pained sigh, he strode forward to the small bathroom and came to a stop in front of the small mirror, the air here cool and welcoming.

He groaned quietly at his reflection, resolving to clean himself up before he was seen by anybody else. Nyota waited patiently at the side of kirks bed, knowing how much pride Spock took in his appearance and how looking so dishevelled must pain him.

When he returned he had combed his hair, washed his face and replaced his shirt. She smiled "To this day I don't know how you manage to look so good so easily"

Spock smiled at the compliment and reached out his hand towards his friend.

"I will escort you to the others"

She raised an eyebrow but relented, rising to her feet and wrapping her arm around his pulling him from the room. Spock knew it was better for him to leave for some time, the intense emotions the sight of Jim invoked in him was wearing him down but he found he was reluctant to leave his friend his feet dragging as they crossed the threshold.

Together they walked slowly toward the lift, Spock thinking through everything that had happened since they had returned from Narcissum. He was struck with a memory of what Jim had said.

"Nyota"

She looked up at him as they exited the lift, crossing the lobby and entering the shining black door opposite. Together they crossed a thin rope bridge over a thick forest, brightly coloured birds effortlessly floating through the air around them warm dry air floating up from the dense flora below them.

"Yes Spock?"

He turned how best to phrase what he was about to say over and over in his mind .

"Nyota, what does it mean to like like somebody?"

She frowned, eyebrows furrowing lips upturned slightly in amusement.

"What do you mean?"

Spock removed his arm from her grasp and crossed them in front of him "Whilst I was in Jims mind, he told me he like likes me"

Spock put the same emphasis on the first like as Jim had, watching the dawning realisation and joy flood in his friends' eyes.

"Wait... he told you he actually likes you?!"

Spock nodded his lip twitching with her infectious enthusiasm, and she crossed her own arms, jutting out one hip and beaming fully at him.

"Spock, when someone like likes someone then that means they… are interested in them… romantically"

She ducked her head grinning and Spock took a second to analyse the tone of her voice to check whether she was joking. She was not.

"Romantically?"

The Vulcan's face twitched and he could feel it, a warm seed at the base of his spine slowly filling him up, it was hope and it was strong.

She laughed and grabbed his arm "Yeah Spock...oh oh wait"

Letting go she planted her feet firmly hands on hips eyes boring into Spocks, she cleared her throat and raised her finger pointing directly at her ex.

"I told you so"

Spock smiled letting his arms drop to his side "Nyota, I believe the agreement was that if he told me he loved me. Not if he told me he like liked me"

She pouted and rubbed his arm pulling him along again

"Still, this is good. It means he is open to the idea of you two … you know"

She waggled her eyebrows and Spock looked away embarrassment flooding his face with a light green tinge.

"I am sure I do not know what you mean"

She laughed loudly, still giggling quietly as they entered the smooth doors that lead to the inside of the next pod and incidentally the canteen. There were several large black tables lining the walls and an island in the middle stocked high with buffet style plates of strange alien food, the scents wafting across giving this room at least a warm and homely feel.

Spock titled his head toward the familiar group sat at the nearest table, nodding in greeting as they turned to face him.

"Spock, I have some good news"

McCoy stood and Nyota took his place, smiling at her friends. Spock clasped his hands behind his back and took a step forward.

"You have discovered the cause of the captains symptoms?"

McCoy grinned crossing his arms "Uh actually we have narrowed it down to two possible strains a virus that Jim must've picked up on Narcissum"

Spock raised an eyebrow, eyes darting to a man approaching them from the left, elegant limbs wrapped in a vibrant red suit wide smile lighting up a handsome face and twinkling deep brown eyes.

Spock turned to the man, bowing in greeting.

"Ah I am glad you remember my culture, my name is G'kil and how may I greet you?"

"My name is Spock"

"Very well Spock, I am your captains new doctor. I was conversing with your brilliant young doctor earlier and he told me your captain had been to my planet and when he explained the symptoms I was intrigued"

Spock felt irritation at the enthusiasm this man felt for the captains ill fate and fought to keep it from his face.

"I see"

The mans warm smiled wavered for a second and he glanced confused at McCoy who just shook and head sighing.

"Why don't we get back to Jims room so we can, you know, try curing him?"

McCoy made a shooing movement ands pock glanced at his crew who waved goodbye as he was swept along in the path of the exuberant doctor, his silken wings fluttering in the warm air currents that filtered across the canteen.

The trio walked in silence, Spock considering the strange ball of hope filling his chest slowly. They entered Jim's room and arranged themselves without a word, the two doctors on the left side of the bed and Spock stoic at Jims right.

"What are your theories doctors?"

The two men shared a glance and G'kil spoke first "I recognised your captains symptoms as Hurg fever, however it does appear that he has contracted one of the two rather rare strains of the diseases"

Spock pressed his lips together tightly and looked down at Jim. The captain looked peaceful as though he was simply asleep, soft pale skin flushed around his cheeks and spreading down his chest, sweat beading on his forehead and running in thin trails down his neck.

The vulcan looked back up to see the two doctors staring at him, concern evident in their eyes. Spock straightened himself and raised an eyebrow "I see, is there a test to determine which it is?"

G'kil blushed and glanced at Bones "No, but we can try treating him with the weaker cure for the more likely strain, it is less likely that your captain will have a bad reaction to it"

Spock raised both his eyebrows "And if he does"

The three men shared a grave silence and McCoy mumbled gruffly

"We will fix it"

A nervous glance from G'kil and they got into position, Spock at Jims side hand on his t'hy'la's shoulder and McCoy holding the hypospray ready to press it to his friends jugular.

G'kil stood at the foot of the bed, eyes trained on the scrolling writing above them. Spock tensed as Bones pressed the hypospray in and took a step back, glancing at the science officer.

There was a beat where nothing happened and G'kil opened his mouth the beginnings of a smile forming on his lips when suddenly Jims heart rate began to drop and Spocks finger straightened on his shoulder eyes boring into his skin.

But it continued to fall and suddenly Spock was thrown sideways, Bones knocking him bodily from Jims side as the chaos erupted around them.

Time seemed to slow to almost stop and Spock watched in slow motion as nurses and other doctors ran into the room, hyposprays and bags of strange coloured liquid in hand, shouting distant all other sounds silent.

His back collided with the corner and the captains heart stopped, the shrill ring of the alarm stabbing his brain, making white light flicker and shine behind his eyes, and he felt it.

The realisation that Jim was gone, his t'hy'la was lost to him hitting him a dull thump in his stomach and he couldn't breathe, the air was gone and all that was left was the emptiness.

Spock put a hand to his chest, feeling as though the hole he felt inside would be tangible, and the shrill ring covered him, sunk into his skin echoing around his empty heart and he was alone in his bubble of silence.

All he knew was pain and Jim was dead.