A/N: Most of Creevey's (and some of Lockhart's) lines are from canon


The following morning, Callidus and Harry woke up feeling bright and refreshed for the day ahead. Zabini and Nott acted as if nothing had changed since last spring. However, Draco was listless, and there were dark circles under his eyes. By the time Callidus and Harry were already changed and dressed, Draco had barely managed to brush his hair.

Callidus sidled up to the blond. "Draco."

"What?" the blond snapped.

Callidus's dark eyes gleamed with anticipation. "You know how I supposedly owe you a favour for leaving you with that crowd of people on Harry's birthday?"

Draco's eyes narrowed into slits. "What about it?"

Callidus's lips curled into a wicked smile. "Would it make us even if I agree not to spend all morning, making fun of you for missing your mummy?"

Draco's cheeks flushed a vivid pink. "Why you -" his hands scrambled into his pockets, searching out his wand so he could hex his friend, but he was too flustered to find it, and instead, opted to throw out a punch which Callidus narrowly managed to dodge, grinning all the while.

"That's just heartless, Cal," Harry was saying reproachfully, but it was hard for Callidus to resist ribbing his friend/brother. Besides, wasn't that what brothers did? He never had siblings, so he didn't know for sure.

At least Draco's anger had pulled him out of his listless, flat state, and the Slytherin second years made it up to the Great Hall for breakfast just in time to receive their class schedules from Professor Slughorn. Callidus spent all of breakfast, trying not to lose his appetite as he was subjected to the girls' fresh new speculations about Lockhart. Only this time, they weren't discussing his appearance, but how fascinating he was (as if that somehow made their interest in him that much more deeper and soulful.) It was truly sickening. Callidus was almost afraid that he may have been put off his kippers forever.

The Slytherins' first class of the day was Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. She had assigned them to trying to transform a beetle into a button, and after a few attempts, Callidus was successfully able to do so. However, the true star of the class that day turned out to be Harry. Over the summer, once Harry successfully managed to turn a hard wooden chair into the squishiest sofa imaginable, he ended up being a little (actually a lot) enthusiastic about the potentials of Transfiguration. By the time the end of August had arrived, Callidus was fairly certain that nothing in their chambers were what they originally were. The desks were former chairs. The blankets were former bedposts. The rug was a former log from the fire. The tapestries used to be sheets of parchment. When something interested Harry, he certainly went all out.

Following Transfigurations was Charms, where most of the students spent the class asking Professor Flitwick whether or not the duelling club would be reinstated. Mostly, Flitwick appeared to be rather flustered and giddy that his club had been so popular, and the already cheerful professor was as bubbly as a bottle of soda (that someone had energetically shaken.)

"What've we got this afternoon?" Harry asked as the trio made their way down to the Great Hall for lunch. Though Draco did not seem as melancholy as before, he was much quieter than usual, and Harry seemed to feel the need to fill in the gaps.

"Herbology and then Defence Against the Dark Arts," Callidus answered. "I'm not feeling hopeful about Defence."

Harry hummed. "Maybe he could teach us how to protect ourselves from bad hair days."

"If that were the case, they could have just hired Draco and saved themselves the trouble."

Draco rolled his eyes "Ha, ha. How witty of you to reuse the same tired jokes. You certainly seem to like to reference my appearance an awful lot. Hasn't anyone ever taught you that envy isn't a good look, Callidus?"

Callidus just smirked in reply. He'd much rather deal with Draco's quips and insults, than Draco's moodiness. As fun as it might be to make fun of the blond, Callidus didn't want him to be genuinely miserable. After they finished eating they were on their way out to the Quad to enjoy the late summer sun when the passed by Hermione, sitting alone in one of the courtyards, reading Lockhart's Voyages with Vampires.

"Oh, Hi, Hermione!" Harry greeted brightly. It was unusual to see Hermione outside of the library.

Hermione looked up from her book, startled. She had evidently been engrossed by whatever drivel Lockhart had written. "Oh, hello Harry, Callidus, Draco. I didn't see you there."

Callidus and Draco replied with polite nods, though Callidus's smile was warm.

"I was just re-reading Professor Lockhart's book. He's amazing!" Hermione gushed. "Callidus, have you read it yet?"

Callidus winced. "Unfortunately, yes."

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Before Callidus could answer, they were interrupted by the appearance of a small boy with mousy hair that none of the trio recognized. The boy was holding what looked to be a muggle camera, and he seemed to have no concept of other people's personal space. All eyes of the group turned to the small boy, and his face turned a bright red, but the boy's attention was fixed solely on Harry.

"All right, Harry? I'm - I'm Colin Creevey," the boy's words were rather breathless. "I'm not in Slytherin like you are, so you might not've noticed me before. D'you think - would it be all right if - can I have a picture?" His expression was hopeful as he raised his camera.

"A picture?" Harry repeated blankly.

"So I can prove I've met you," said Colin Creevey eagerly, edging further forward. "I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead -" (his eyes raked Harry's hairline) "- and a lot of people seem to think that now that you're a Slytherin, it means you're a Dark Wizard, but I've been watching you and I don't believe them."

"Hey -" Draco cut in, "just - stop right there. Who are you?"

"Colin Creevey."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "I mean Who are you."

Creevey looked from face to face, confused. "Well, my dad's a milkman, and neither of us knew about Hogwarts till I got the letter so -"

Draco interrupted him. "I see. And what makes you think you can just walk up to us and - what? Demand a picture? Don't you know who you're talking to?"

"Draco -" Harry edged in warningly, but Draco lifted a hand to shut him up.

"No, listen Harry. You wanted me for your spokesperson, which is what I'm doing. Do you think I'm going to let a little no-name snot just walk all over you, asking for your picture? Next, he's probably going to ask you to sign it, and then what? Bring all his little snot-nosed friends? Is that what you want, Harry? Is it?"

"Well - no," Harry admitted, shuffling his feet.

Callidus couldn't help but feel a rush of admiration for Draco. The blond had always seemed so self-absorbed, but it seemed that he cared about Harry's interests after all. Besides, Draco was right. Harry was far too nice, and fame was a fickle mistress. People might look up to Harry one moment, but they would be all too ready to turn against him in the next, and Callidus had the feeling that Harry would be too soft-hearted to be able to deal with that kind of thing. On the other hand, who better to manage Harry's fame than someone as insensitive as Draco? It might seem harsh to crush people like Creevey, but it was probably necessary.

Creevey was looking increasingly nervous, and had even hidden his camera behind his back. Draco seemed to have gathered his full arsenal of haughtiness, and he was now unleashing it on the hapless boy. They had even appeared to have drawn a crowd. Callidus caught sight of Caiside, and next to her, Ginny Weasley, who were watching the scene with interest.

"Well?" Draco looked down at Creevey disdainfully. But before Creevey could answer, a familiar voice called out: "What's all this? Did I hear something about pictures?"

The crowd parted, to reveal Gilderoy Lockhart. The Defence Professor strode onto the scene, his vibrant-coloured robes billowing artfully in the breeze.

"Oh ho! What's this?" Lockhart's gazed fixed upon Harry, like a beagle who had caught wind of it's prey. "Why, if it isn't Harry Potter! I had heard that you'd be here at Hogwarts! And you're letting your photo be taken, are you?" Lockhart made his way to Harry's side, throwing an arm around the raven-haired boy's shoulder. Harry looked too stunned by this invasion of his space to protest.

"Wait just a second," Draco attempted to interject, but Lockhart completely ignored him, causing Draco to flush an angry shade of pink.

"Who has the camera?" Lockhart scanned the milling crowd. "Ah, Mr. Creevey! A double portrait, can't do better than that, and we'll both sign it for you."

Creevey, who was still a little shaken by Draco's demeanour, fumbled for his camera, but managed to snap a photo, just as the bell that indicated the end of their lunch break rang.

"Off you go, move along there," Lockhart called to the crowd, and he set off back to the castle with a horrified-looking Harry trapped in the cage of his arm.

Callidus and Draco attempted to follow along through the corridor, and up a staircase, and they were able to hear snatches of Lockhart's rather condescending sounding advice. It was something about how Harry might come across as big-headed - as if Lockhart were one to talk! Lockhart did not release Harry until they had reached his classroom, and by that point, Harry was red-faced and his expression was stormy. Unfortunately, their next class was supposed to be Herbology, not Defence, so the trio had to double back and make their way down to the greenhouses.

"What was that all about?" Draco demanded, as they ran across the lawn, hoping that they would not be too late.

"I don't know," Harry replied, a bit breathlessly. "But you know how I said I didn't want to our pranks to target a single person, Cal?"

"Yeah? What about it?" Callidus asked between heavy breaths, as just as the greenhouse entrance came into sight.

"Well, I've changed my mind," Harry explained, his eyes unusually hard and cold. "Lockhart. We're going to take him down."

Callidus and Draco shared a look over Harry's shoulders. Lockhart was going to be the new target for their pranks? They broke into matching grins. This was going to be awesome.

The trio ended up being a few minutes late for Herbology, but Professor Sprout had always been an extremely forgiving teacher, so they did not lose any points. Their class was shared with the Ravenclaws, and they learned that they would be repotting mandrake roots. Though the trio had hoped to be able to spend the class plotting how they would prank Lockhart, mandrake roots had a fatal 'cry' which meant that that they spent the class in earmuffs.

Finally, Herbology was over, and their final class of the day was Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"So what are we going to do to Lockhart?" Draco asked as the trio walked from the greenhouses towards Lockhart's classroom.

"We already know a decent amount of spells," Harry mused. "Pimple hexes, hair-colour changing spells, flatulence hexes, voice changing spells. What would be the most humiliating?"

"How are we even going to hex him in the first place?" Callidus wondered. "Without getting caught, that is."

"We'll figure something out," Harry answered coldly. "I just want him to suffer."

Though the whole concept was amusing, something about Harry's words sent a shiver down Callidus's spine. He looked over at his friend, and for some reason, he thought about those odd nights when Harry would moan and thrash in his sleep, wearing an angry expression on his face. If he used his magical sensing now, would he feel that strange, hostile sensation? Unfortunately, he couldn't think of a way to use his powers in a way that would look subtle, rather than blatantly weird and obvious.

They arrived at the Defence classroom and chose to sit somewhere near the back of the class so that they could more easily plot against Lockhart. Curiously enough, Lockhart was looking rather breathless and ruffled, and his wavy hair was slightly mussed.

Lockhart began to introduce himself, sounding a little uncertain, but as he progressed, he became increasingly confident, until he was rattling off a list of all his accomplishments without a trace of irony. By the time he was finished his speech, his chest was puffed out and he was beaming broadly, acting as though it had been the class giving him accolades as opposed to being aware of the braggart that he was. How had the man ever managed to be awarded an Order of Merlin?

"I'm pleased to see that you've all purchased the complete set of my books," Lockhart continued. "Now just like with all my other classes, I'm going to be starting you off with a little quiz. No pressure of course! But it's important to see how much your bright little minds have absorbed - how much you've taken in."

Lockhart began to hand out the quizzes, and as the trio looked down the list of questions, they were shocked to see that they were all personal questions related to Lockhart himself. In retrospect, they really shouldn't have been shocked at all. They shared impish glances as they simultaneously decided to write answers that would be as humiliating as possible.

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

Harry wrote: To stop wetting his bed at night

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

Callidus wrote: That he can fool people into thinking he has any braincells to rub together, so long as he keeps his mouth shut

8. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite past time?

Draco wrote: Seducing himself in front of the mirror

34. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite food?

Callidus wrote: Insincere compliments. It would be unrealistic to expect sincere ones.

Callidus knew that he and his friends/brothers were risking detention with their juvenile actions, but he decided that it would be worth it. Gilderoy Lockhart was obviously a joke. Why should Callidus bother to take him seriously? Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the quizzes and was reading them over. The trio smirked when a few of the quizzes caused Lockhart to flush with embarrassment. Amusingly, Lockhart did not call them out for their actions.

"I'm rather disappointed by the performance on your quizzes," Lockhart said, sounding a bit shaken. "In Gryffindor, a Hermione Granger managed to receive a hundred percent on her quiz. That said, Daphne Greengrass, well done on receiving the highest mark in your class."

Upon seeing Greengrass's pleased smile and her gratitude for his attention, Lockhart's confidence once again increased. Callidus gave the professor an incredulous look. The man must have had the emotional fortitude of a troll - no matter how many barbs one tried to fling at him, they just bounced off his tough skin.

Lockhart proceeded to bring the class's attention to a large covered cage on his desk.

"Now, in my previous class, I had the class face a challenge that was nearly too much for them to bear. I was debating letting your class off easy - after all, if the brave Gryffindors couldn't handle the challenge, what hope would there be for any of the other classes?" Lockhart's words were surprisingly inflammatory. Callidus could not tell if it was intentional or not, but to claim that the Slytherins were somehow less capable of handling a challenge than Gryffindors immediately caused the hackles of the Slytherins to rise.

Apparently oblivious, Lockhart continued to explain. "But then, I reminded myself that that I am here to teach you to protect yourself against the greatest of dangers, and the foulest of creatures. It is my sworn duty as a professor to bring you face to face with the deepest of your fears, knowing that only I can give you the strength and skills to face the Darkest of your nightmares. Rest assured that so long as I am here, I shan't let any harm befall you. There's no need to panic - not while I'm here to protect you."

Callidus raised his eyebrows at the speech. A number of the girls were looking a bit nervous, except for Bulstrode, whose eyes gleamed with an inner fire that spoke of a readiness for battle. Draco looked as though he was growing curious against his will, while Zabini looked bored, and Nott was preoccupied with reading the textbook and disregarding everything around him.

"Now is your chance to prove yourself better than the Gryffindors," Lockhart announced. "Try and resist the urge to cry out or scream, lest you provoke them. Look boldly now upon the face of your opponents!"

Lockhart dramatically pulled the cover off of the cage, just as he declared: "Cornish pixies!" The result was anti-climactic.

"Pixies?!" Greengrass screeched, eyeing the electric blue creatures and suddenly worrying that they would get in her hair. "What are we supposed to do with them?"

"Well, you just have to prove yourself as proficient as the students in the last class!" Lockhart answered cheerfully. A few of the students asked more questions.

Meanwhile the trio shared a look. They ducked their heads together and began to whisper.

"If he lets those things free, it might give us the perfect chance," Harry mused.

"We can aim our hexes at him while pretending to hit the pixies," Draco suggested. "Though what he was thinking, bringing pixies in, I'll never begin to guess. They may be small, but they're destructive and fast."

Callidus smirked. "The more chaos, the better."

The trio looked back up towards Lockhart, just as he opened the cage door. Though the Cornish pixies had been released and caught by the Gryffindors earlier, they had as much wild energy as ever, and within seconds, the class was in complete disarray. The pixies were smashing windows, and throwing papers and quills across the room, and tearing up books, and working together to up-end chairs and desks.

While the other second year Slytherins frantically shot spells at the pixies, the trio aimed for Lockhart.

A beam of light caused his golden blond hair to vanish, leaving a shiny bald scalp, and causing Lockhart to yelp. Another bright beam resulted in the most enormous pimple imaginable, appearing right on the tip of his nose. A final darker light seemed to have no effect, but Callidus smiled a wicked smile. The result of that spell might not show up right away, but it was just a matter of time.

Lockhart was exclaiming: "Get the pixies, not me! Oh Merlin, my hair! I can't be seen like this." He did not even bother to give the class further instruction - he simply dashed out of the room, with his hands desperately covering his head.

With Lockhart's absence, the class was thrown into further chaos. Lockhart hadn't given them instructions about what to do, and it wasn't in any Slytherin's nature to clean up another person's mess unless they could get something out of it. So, all the Slytherins quickly gathered up belongings, and fled the room, unconcerned with the chaos and damaged caused by the pixies. Let someone else deal with the problem.

Outside of the classroom, the trio were all wearing matching grins spread from ear to ear.

"That was awesome!" Harry burst out, his expression a mix of triumph and righteous revenge.

"I can't believe it all worked out so perfectly," Draco added. "Think he'll be able to show his face ever again?

"He wouldn't skip teaching classes, would he?" Harry pondered.

Callidus considered the professor's character thoughtfully. "Somehow, I get the impression that he values his ego and appearance far above our education."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "I wouldn't complain if we never had to see him again. Considering that he dared to -" Harry expression had darkened considerably. "Anyhow, maybe we'd be doing the school a favour by getting rid of him."

Draco looked intrigued, but Callidus gave Harry a questioning look. Since when was Harry so vindictive? It was a bit unnerving. But he would hardly complain if Lockhart was gone.

Callidus raised his eyebrow. "So we're going to continue our campaign of pranks against him?"

Harry smiled cruelly and Callidus shivered. "He won't get a moment's rest. Not if I can help it."