I'm already having second thoughts as Sirius, Tom, and I walk up toward Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. At least we got Gellert to stay behind. Or rather, he wanted to go off and have a chat with Dumbledore, himself. I can only imagine what they might be saying.
"I'm really not looking forward to this," Sirius says. "I don't even think she's actually living here."
"But we don't know where she is living right now, and they're likely to know," I say. "And while they might ignore an owl, they can't ignore us in person."
"Do try to refrain from using the Cruciatus Curse on my mother, will you?" Sirius says. "Or at least, do it while I'm not in the room."
"Very fond of your mother, are you," Tom says dryly.
I walk up and ring the doorbell. The house-elf, Kreacher, comes and answers it, takes one look at Sirius, and scowls. "Nasty boy, makes mistress sad, what are you doing back here?"
Sirius groans a little and says, "Run along, you miserable little toerag. Tell Mum I'm here to see her."
Kreacher unhappily pops away, and the three of us step into the entryway. It only takes a minute before Walburga Black stalks out and starts shrieking at us.
"You! You miserable waste of flesh and blood! How dare you come crawling back here? And you've probably brought some of your filthy friends, too. Mudbloods, half-breeds, blood traitors?"
"I am a pureblood, Lady Black," I tell her, giving a suave bow. "My name is Lexen Gaunt." Might as well stick to that pseudonym in this timeline. "And this is my father, Thomas."
"Well, at least he's showing better taste in friends now," Walburga says, huffing a little. "So, Sirius, did you come back to grovel and beg forgiveness?"
"Actually, we're here looking for your aunt, Cassiopeia Black," I say. "I believe she might be somewhere in France, but I'm afraid I do not know where."
"What are you looking for her for?" Walburga asks, narrowing her eyes.
"Well, for one thing, she's my mother," I say.
"I was unaware that Cassiopeia had a son," Walburga says.
"So is she," Tom says quietly.
"What's that?" Walburga says, peering at Tom.
"It's a long story," I say. "Nonetheless, I would like to get in touch with her, if it's not too much trouble. I hate to intrude, and I'm sure you're very busy and all..."
Walburga grunts, and says, "No, no, why don't you come in and have some tea."
Her sudden welcoming attitude is suspicious, but if I really want to see Cassie, she's my best chance at the moment. "Certainly," I say.
Walburga leads us in and sits us around a table, then goes off to mutter something to Kreacher that I don't quite catch. The house-elf then brings us out some tea and biscuits. Sirius doesn't look to be wanting to touch anything anyway, just sitting back and pointedly ignoring the refreshments. Tom looks over his tea casually for a moment, and then nibbles on a biscuit.
I, for one, am perfectly relaxed. I always did like Kreacher's cooking. I take a long drink of the delicious tea.
"So, tell me, what is your interest in my Aunt Cassiopeia?" Walburga asks.
"I'd just like to see her again," I reply. "I just want to talk to her for a little bit."
"Is that it?" Walburga says. "You have no intention of harming her or any other member of my family?"
"Of course not," I reply, then quickly add, "Well. Except for Bellatrix. But I'll only kill her if she decides to do something stupid, like try to keep the war going."
"Fair enough," Walburga says. "Now, Cassiopeia. What is she to you?"
"She is my wife," I say compulsively, then snort. "Veratiserum, is it? I should have expected that. You got me there. Fine, you want the truth, you'll get the truth. But be warned, don't ask any questions that you don't really want the answers to. You might not like them."
"I'll judge that for myself," Walburga says. "Your wife... Why did you claim she was your mother, then?"
I casually munch on a tasty biscuit, and answer, "Because that's what I told Lucius Malfoy, and I wanted to stick to the same story. Given my apparent age, I thought it would be more believable. But I'm older than I look." I cock my head over at Tom. "Thomas here is actually our son." I can say that truthfully, since we actually did adopt him.
"I see," Walburga says, wide-eyed.
"Kreacher's cooking is delicious," I comment.
Sirius snorts softly. "You're barmy."
"Why did I never hear about my aunt having a husband or son?" Walburga asks.
"Because no one who could tell you knew about it," I say.
I hate Veratiserum, but it doesn't bother me quite as much as it once did. Most people don't think to word questions to get the answers that they're really looking for. With practice and caution, it's perfectly possible to give answers that, while still truthful, can make someone believe whatever you want them to believe.
"Why would she keep something like that a secret?" Walburga says. "We would have been happy for her to marry a pureblood and make more wizard children. Unless, of course, you're no pureblood, or a blood traitor, or something." She narrows her eyes at me.
"It's a long story," I say, smiling sadly. "I cannot prove that I'm a pureblood. I'm from far away from here, and my family was destroyed. I do not have access to any records. That complicates things, to be sure. But my family is old, and has prided itself on purity just as much as yours. Frequently marrying second cousins and the like."
"Very well," Walburga says, grudgingly accepting that answer. "But are you a blood traitor?"
"I would as soon kill myself as be a betrayer or oathbreaker," I reply.
"What do you think of Mudbloods?" Walburga says.
This interrogation is starting to become exhausting. "What about them? I think if purebloods are going to complain about their existence, they should stop sending their Squibs out into the Muggle world, and stop having fun with Muggle women with Imperio and Obliviate. Those sorts of practices are going to lead to our world's discovery by Muggles, and it will be bad. We need to either sever ourselves from the Muggles completely, or learn to live with them, but these half-measures are not going to work for much longer. Things will fall apart, and it's not a matter of if, but when."
Walburga stares at me, gaping for a long moment, then snaps her mouth shut again.
"I warned you about asking questions you don't want to hear the answers to," I say with a smirk. "Now, will you help me find Cassie, or would you like to hear precisely what sort of danger the Muggles pose to wizardkind?"
Walburga pauses thoughtfully for a moment, and then says, "Tell me."
I give a short nod. "Muggles aren't just some cute primitives that pose no real threat, like harmless animals, bumbling about their lives without seeing anything. They see. They make machines the likes of which wizards cannot conceive of. The Statue of Secrecy will be shattered beyond any hope of repair. They build devices that can look even where there isn't anyone present, and those devices will only become more and more ubiquitous. Soon you will not be able to go anywhere in the Muggle world without being watched."
I think I spent far too much time listening to Professor Quirrell teaching Muggle Studies when Tom was Headmaster of Hogwarts.
"And they have other devices that allow them to communicate with large numbers of people simultaneously," I go on. "Imagine, if you will. What they call a television camera, in a live broadcast, what will happen if magic gets caught and broadcast to millions of Muggles? You can't Obliviate them all. The best you can do is claim that this was just, movie special effects. But not all of them will believe that. And with every incident, the secret will break more and more."
The table has gone dead silent but for the sound of my voice. All eyes are upon me. And I keep talking.
"And then there will be a network, allowing not just big companies, but every individual to keep in touch with many, many people at once," I say. "And the devices that record images will become smaller and more versatile, and soon many people will have them. Now imagine, magic happening by accident in front of a small crowd. A job for the Obliviators, right? But over half of the crowd has little cameras, and they put the pictures of magic being used on this network, and millions of Muggles see it. And because it's not from a single source, and not from a big company, they can't claim that it's just 'special effects' this time."
"Are you a seer?" Walburga whispers.
"No," I reply. "I am a Time Mage. And I know what will happen. Wizards think themselves better than Muggles. That's fine. But it's arrogance to think that that means the Muggles are harmless, and to forget that there are many, many more Muggles than wizards. We'd be snakes fighting against a swarm of rats. We might devour a few of them, but ultimately, we would be torn apart. And they have weapons. They don't just fight with bows and arrows anymore. They have guns that shoot a chunk of metal at high speeds, that most shields won't stop. And that's the least of what they can do."
"What can we do?" Walburga wonders.
"We have to stick together," I say. "Wizards and witches, regardless of their blood status. We have to hold fast against the coming storm. All the better if we can draw the Mudbloods into our world where they should be, so that they are less at risk of exposing us to the Muggles. Shutting them out is only going to make it more likely that we will be exposed before we are ready for it, if we can ever be ready."
"You would have us make nice with Mudbloods?" Walburga says, looking at me in shock.
"And disowning your family members... Andromeda, for marrying a Mudblood? Fine, that's your choice, that one was the most reasonable of them. But Sirius? You disowned your own heir because you didn't like who his school friends were?"
"He was sorted into Gryffindor! He ran off and decided to be a blood traitor!"
"She disowned Uncle Alphard just for leaving money to me," Sirius adds helpfully.
I snort in disgust. "Did you ever consider that Sirius behaved as he did because of your actions? You pushed him away, your own son and heir. And yet, the worst thing that could have happened, in your eyes, was that he decided to marry a Muggle woman, or something. The Black line would have continued impure... but it would have continued. Instead, you've very nearly destroyed your line."
"How dare you try to claim that this was my fault?" Walburga shrieks.
"Not entirely," I say. "Every actor in this play made their own choices. You could have prevented this, however. It's not uncommon for children to go through a rebellious phase. Imagine, if you will, had you been more indulgent toward Sirius, instead of pushing him further and further away. He would have, very likely, grown out of his rebellious streak, and gone on to marry a pureblood girl, and produce many lovely pureblood children for the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black."
From the look on Sirius's face, this hypothetical is doubtful, but that's not the point of the exercise. He stays quiet. Tom, on the other hand, looks to be enjoying this just as much as he does watching me torture people.
"You can still repair the damage that you've done to your family," I say. "It's not too late. There can be new Black heirs running around this house again. There could be grandchildren that would make you proud." I give a faint smile. "We have to be sticking together, though. We can't be pushing one another away, or the rats will devour the snakes."
Walburga stares at me for a long moment, and then shoves me a small vial. "Veratiserum antidote. I've heard quite enough."
I smirk at her, and drink it down. "Je suis un ananas," I murmur, and then nod, determining that it was indeed what she said it was, as I am most definitely not a pineapple.
"Sirius," Walburga grates, looking at him as though the words are being drawn out of her with red-hot tongs. "You are... welcome in this house again. I would... prefer that you find a pureblood girl to bring home."
"And Uncle Alphard?" Sirius says.
"Him too, of course," Walburga says.
"And Andromeda?" Sirius adds, the corners of his lips twitching.
"Don't push your luck."
Walburga has Kreacher bring us fresh tea and biscuits, and goes off to find a portkey to a place called Chateau Noir that's laying around somewhere.
"Where in the multiverse did you learn to talk like that, anyway?" Sirius wonders once she's out of earshot.
"I took Politics as an elective at Hogwarts," I say, waving my fingers to put up a privacy spell just in case. "It was taught by Lucius Malfoy. I got an O on my OWL for it."
"It's positively delightful to watch you yell at people," Tom says. "Especially when you can turn the tables in your favor when they think they have an advantage."
"Lucius Malfoy taught at Hogwarts?" Sirius says. "Merlin, I'm glad I wasn't there for that. Still, how did you know what to say?"
"It's all a matter of figuring out what they want, and then telling them what they want to hear," I say. "Our dear Professor Malfoy taught us that politics is a battlefield where every word is a weapon, and victory lies in making your enemy agree with your point of view."
"Is that what you've been doing with me, and James, and Lily, and Dumbledore?" Sirius asks. "Manipulating us with words?"
I snort softly. "No. You aren't my enemies. I don't normally sit around with 'politics mode' in my mindset, anymore than I go around in 'battle mode' all the time. I'd drive myself mad if I did."
"It's just like watching him fight," Tom says. "But with different weapons. You could practically see the bleeding cuts with every swipe of a well-placed phrase. Such delicious, bloodthirsty grace."
"Flatterer," I say, blushing a little.
Tom grins broadly at me, and leans over to brush his lips up against mine. "Shall I drink Veratiserum and tell you the same?"
Sirius clears his throat, and Tom pulls away. "Do you really want my mum to see that?" Sirius says.
"Ah-hem," Tom says. "Sorry, got caught up in the moment." His lips twitch in amusement, clearly not sorry at all.
Not a moment too soon, as Walburga comes back into the room. I cancel the privacy spell. Walburga comes over and sets a black brick down upon the table in front of us.
"There's the portkey," Walburga says. "The activation phrase is the Black family motto. Do return it when you're done with it."
"You have my thanks, Lady Black," I say, inclining my head toward her.
"And don't let the Ministry see it, as I believe it's technically illegal," Walburga says, with a soft snort.
The creatively named Chateau Noir is just as black as I had expected. One might almost expect to see its spiring towers silhouette by ominous flashes of lightning in the midst of a rainstorm.
"So. Chateau Noir is a black castle," I say. "How shocking."
"Astute observation," Tom says wryly.
The interior, once we're let inside, is no less ominous. Guttering torches flicker along the corridors, and we come to a large library lit by old oil lamps. And there, I see her. The old woman with a severe bun, tucked away behind a bookshelf, hunched over a desk, poring over an ancient tome of lore.
"Ah, sorry for interrupting," I stammer, suddenly unsure what to say to her.
Cassie looks up from her book toward us with a critical expression. "What is it?"
"It's me, Sirius, your great-nephew," Sirius says. "I'd like you to meet some friends of mine. Lexen and Tom."
"I see," Cassie says, setting aside her book with clear reluctance. "It's nice to meet you." From her tone, she doesn't seem to mean it. "What brings you to Chateau Noir?"
How do I say this? I can't just say that I was married to her in another timeline, and spent the last eighty years with her, raising children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren... How can I reconcile this woman who doesn't remember me, who didn't go through any of the things we went through together, with the woman I loved, the woman I will always love?
"I, ah..." I say hesitantly.
Maybe I should have come with Gellert after all. At least he'd be able to break the ice. With a Shattering Curse, but at least he'd break it.
Sirius snorts. "How can someone who just talked down the likes of my mum not know what to say here?"
"You're not helping, Sirius," I say, rolling my eyes.
"Is there a problem?" Cassie asks.
"There's just no easy way to say this, I suppose," I say. "Do you mind if we take a seat? This may be a long story."
"Summaries, Lexen, summaries!" Sirius says.
I smirk.
Cassie says, "Go ahead, sit down. You might as well make yourselves at home, I suppose."
The three of us grab some chairs and sit nearby. Maybe I should have brought her a present. I could have brought some books from the Chamber of Secrets for her. She would have liked that. Cassie always did like books. She was always a Ravenclaw at heart, even if she'd wound up in Slytherin the first time around.
"Er. What was it that were you reading, just now?" I ask.
"A Treatise on Magical Affinity: Light, Dark, or Neither?" Cassie replies.
"Oh, I read that," I say. "It was quite an interesting read. Although I disagree with the assertion that potions can be inherently light or dark..."
"Like you know anything about potions," Tom says in amusement.
"It just doesn't make sense!" I say. "Ah, never mind."
"I'm sure you didn't come all the way from England to consult me about my reading material," Cassie says.
"Well, no, not exactly," I say, sighing.
"Maybe we should slip him some more Veratiserum," Sirius jokes.
I cast him a glare, then turn my attention back to Cassie. "Alright, I suppose there's no good way to say this. You see, I'm a time traveler. And I knew you in another timeline. Actually, all three of us traveled through time, although Sirius saw a different timeline than Tom, and it was the timeline with Tom and I that you were in. Well, multiple timelines, actually, we actually traveled together for a while."
"Lexen, you're babbling," Tom says. "What happened to that spontaneous eloquent monologue?"
Cassie is looking at me with wide eyes. "Time travel? Other timelines? And... you knew me?"
"Yeah..." I say. "We- We were married. Had children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren... We even went to Hogwarts together. We were both in Ravenclaw."
"Ravenclaw?" Cassie says, a little distantly.
I give a nod. "There's so much that you wished for... You lamented a wasted life, that only after it was too late did you wish that you'd had a chance to have children. You were in Slytherin because it was expected of you, and only later realized that was never where you belonged. You regretted not being able to save your little brother, Marius."
Cassie averts her eyes, a haunted, sorrowful look on her face. "I'm sorry. It's just disturbing for a perfect stranger to know so much about me."
"No, no, it's my fault for coming in here and bringing it up like this," I say. "It's just... I love you. I will always love you. I wanted to see you again, even if you didn't remember me. I can't take you with me again, and I can't stay long, but I want to give you everything that I can before I'm on my way again."
"I... I see," Cassie says hesitantly.
I sigh. "I say can't, as if it makes it any easier. I could. But it was your choice. You chose... You chose..."
Tears well up in my eyes unbidden. Tom reaches over and gently puts a hand upon my shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. I wipe my eyes self-consciously.
"What did I choose?" Cassie wonders.
"You said... Eternity was not your heart's desire," I say, my voice cracking a little. "You could have had immortality. And yet instead, you rejected it. You must have lived almost two hundred years. And then you died. You aged, you grew old, and... you died. And I don't think I could bear to watch you die again. You were happy. You were so happy. And I could not understand why, why, anyone would wish to die. I thought I must have done something wrong, something so horribly, terribly wrong that you'd become suicidal or something, I don't know. I just-"
A hand on mine stops my babbling. Cassie is leaning over toward me, clenching my hands in hers. "Lexen. Stop."
I go quiet, looking into her eyes. Her hair is gray, and her face is wrinkled, but her eyes are bright and curious as I always remember them.
"I believe you," Cassie says.
"Cassie..." I whisper.
"Shh," Cassie says. "It's alright. I understand. Don't cry."
"Oh, Cassie," I murmur, only crying all the more. How could I have ever thought that this isn't and would never be my Cassie? There's only one Cassie. Cassie will always be Cassie. Seek her in eternity...
Cassie wipes away the tears from my eyes, dabbing at my face with a soft cloth. "I don't know what you've been through. But perhaps I should be the one saying that I'm sorry."
"There's nothing that you should ever be sorry for," I say quietly.
"It sounds like you gave me everything," Cassie says. "A life I could only have dreamed of. But how can I explain how people can accept death? I don't think you did anything wrong. From the sounds of things, you did everything right, and I died with no regrets. That's nothing to be sorry about."
"I'm sorry that I can't give you that again," I say. "That I can't spend every moment of eternity with you. I'm sorry that I'm selfish, that I don't want to see you die ever again."
Cassie shakes her head. "I can't say that I can blame you for that. Perhaps it was I who was selfish. I don't know."
"I'd never call you selfish, Cassie," I whisper. "Let me give you what I can. Let me give you a chance to be happy. Alright?"
"I guess I can't argue with that," Cassie says. "What do you want to give me?"
"Here... Tom, can you have an essence potion ready?" I say. Tom nods. "Alright, brace yourself... this is going to be a little disorienting."
Cassie gives a small nod, and I take her hands and call upon my magic. I think of the laughter of children. Simple innocence and happiness. The calm before the storm. I draw my magic through her, turning back the hands of time. I remember her smiling face...
My vision blurs and I very nearly collapse, but a vial is pressed to my lips, and a fizzing potion runs down my throat. I cough a little and swallow what I can, allowing it to replenish my magical energy. I steady myself and rub my eyes, and look at my handiwork.
Cassie sits before me, a small child with curly black hair, her robes huge and hanging loose on her diminutive frame. A little girl again, looking stunned at the transformation.
"What- What did you do?" Cassie says, practically squeaking, and not just from the sound of a little girl voice.
"I'm a Time Mage," I say. "You don't want immortality, but I can give you this, at least. I can give you another chance to live your life the way you want to live it. A chance to be happy."
Cassie, never one to stay confused for too long, pulls out her wand and gives it a wave, transfiguring her clothing to fit her. And she smiles. She smiles. She wasn't smiling when I got here. The sight of her smiling again very nearly brings the tears back to my eyes. I have to wonder when the last time was that this Cassie smiled.
"I suppose I should thank you," Cassie says. "I'm just imagining what I could do with another chance at life. Oh, you made me so young. I could go to Hogwarts again. Do I need to worry about the Trace?"
I shake my head. "It doesn't care about physical age, otherwise Aging Potions would be able to fool it."
"True," Cassie says. "But, oh, I guess I can't just say who I really am and what happened, can I. That would just result in awkward questions I don't want to answer. No, I'll have to claim to be someone's daughter." She looks to Sirius, and then shakes her head. "No, I don't think Sirius would work. I look like I'm seven or eight or so. He would've had to have been fourteen or fifteen when I was born."
"Yeah, someone definitely would have known about that," Sirius replies, returning his attention to the conversation. It looks like he'd been looking off at the books in some embarrassed attempt to give us a little privacy.
"Maybe Alphard?" Cassie says thoughtfully. "Or maybe I could be Marius's granddaughter... They don't know what happened to him after he went off into the Muggle world when he came of age. Nobody would be able to contradict that..."
I hold up my hand. "Hate to nix that thought, but I know you're not nearly well-versed in the Muggle world to pass as a Muggleborn."
"Right, you have a point there," Cassie says. "Alright, I'll have to see about contacting Alphard, then."
"I can help you out with whatever you might need, though," Sirius says. "I'm not planning on going anywhere."
This is the Cassie I remember. The Cassie who takes the reins and thrusts herself into a situation without hesitation or reservation. Her joy and energy is infectious, and I can't help but smile at her.
She leans close and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you. I won't squander this gift. And I wish you well, wherever or whenever you might go."
Here I am, finding myself saying goodbye again. But maybe it isn't so bad. It's not like I can never see her again, after all. And she's happy. Merlin, she's happy.
Goodbyes are like clouds rolling by in the blue, blue sky. The only thing constant in the universe is change. Time passes, the seasons turn, and life goes on.
