Hi there again!
I'm sorry this took a little longer than I had hoped but I do have quite a few stories on at the moment, including some original ones, and unfortunately I can't write all the time, though I would very much like to. This is a chapter I've been looking forwards to and I wanted to just get it perfect. The comments I've been getting have just been so good and I want them to continue like that.
Hope you all enjoy!
After that night, everything felt like it had changed. The pair of them had stayed by the lake until the blood orange sun rose the following morning, their arms still tightly entangled like they had been welded together, and when they had eventually been forced to let go, it was like the air around them had shifted. It now felt heavier, thicker when they were around each other, like something was steadily, steadily building and both of them could feel the anticipation of it prickling their skin. When they were down by the lake, it felt sometimes like the world around them was holding their breath for something to happen; the trees seemed to bend towards them like they were trying to catch their conversations and the waters of the lake seemed to crawl up the beach towards them at a much faster pace, like it was edging them towards something that neither of them were completely sure of.
Neither of them had acknowledged that the atmosphere between them had changed but both of them could sense it, Eren in particular. He had known things would be different between them the moment after Levi had spilled his soul to him and he had promised he wouldn't leave but he hadn't imagined that they would change so much, nor had he imagined he would enjoy them so much. Ever since Levi had told him about his past and how the Survey Corps had taken both their mothers and loved ones away, the man hadn't changed his behaviour massively (he was still very sarcastic and rude a lot of the time) but he had softened around the edges; he no longer seemed so angry all the time and even when he was, he never directed it at Eren anymore. He still called him brat but now when he said the word, there was an affectionate edge to it that had never been there before and Eren felt a warm feeling bloom in his chest every single time he heard it. He had thought once he had a crush on this man but he knew now that had been completely wrong; he had fallen head over heels for him instead and now there was no way for him to go back.
His newly realised feelings were only stoked by a new affection that they had fallen into. Since that night, they no longer met up every three nights; their visits were much more sporadic and frequent. Sometimes they would see each other every night for a week and then they wouldn't visit the lake for the next three days. There was never a night where one would turn up and be left waiting for the other; they weren't sure what it was but they would get a sense for when the other would need them there and they would go, no questions asked. They never needed to ask and they had never once been wrong. It was something that Eren had wondered about; he had never experienced anything like it in his life and he couldn't think of any other instances where he had heard others speak of it. It wasn't until he heard his friends talking about their coming of age and finding a mate did he remember something from a long-ago discussion with his mother. It was said that some bonded couples, once they had been mated for a while, could sense the other's feelings, particularly if they were in danger or distress, as some kind of old instinct to protect. His mother had told him that she had never had that with his father and that now she wished she had.
"Maybe then I could sense if he was safe or not." She had sighed as she had pulled him close and hummed into his hair. "That's all I really want to know my little wolf cub. I just want to know he's safe."
Eren had just been a boy then and he hadn't understood it. Why would his mother want to know how his father was feeling? He had betrayed them both by running away! Now, however, he remembered the conversation and his cheeks went scarlet. He knew that it couldn't be right, that couldn't be the reason because he and Levi weren't mates at all but it still made his heart leap to think of it. Just the thought of Levi being his mate, even if it was impossible, gave him a thrill that nobody could take away from him.
Since that night, the two of them had also gotten closer in more ways than one. Before that night, the pair of them had always had their designated spots where they sat, close to each other but never touching. There was always at least a hands width of distance between them, sometimes more if Levi was in a particular mood, but since that night where they had held each other, that had all gone out of the window. It was like some invisible barrier had been broken and each visit since just seemed to shatter it more and more. Whenever they sat together now, they were always touching; even if it was just Levi leaning his head against Eren's shoulder or Eren resting his hand over Levi's on the sand, they were always connected. It felt a little like they had to be, like something now wasn't right if they couldn't feel the other there and to Eren, the sensations he still felt whenever Levi was there were dizzying. It felt like an electric current surged through him whenever Levi brushed at his bare skin or whenever he felt the stubble and ran his fingers through the black locks at the back of his head. It was so intoxicating that he wondered how he had lived without it before and being able to have that with the older man made him grin like an idiot whenever he thought of it. However, what pleased him the most about it was the knowledge that Levi only did it because he trusted him. That night, he had put his soul in Eren's hands, just to show how much he trusted him not to hurt it, and Eren had proved to him that he was right to do so. Now, when Levi leaned back on him or touched his hand, Eren knew it was because the man trusted him, really trusted him not to leave, and that was what really made his heart soar.
Levi also couldn't help but notice the change in their relationship. They had started off barely feeling like friends, he could still remember how they had snapped at each other at their first meeting and how he had tried to ignore Eren until he got too annoying, but now they felt like so much more. He never visited the lake unless he knew Eren was there and he could never leave without having to forcibly drag himself away. He also found he couldn't leave without touching Eren somehow- even if it was just brushing hands or leaning on each other or letting Eren play with his hair, he found that the simplest things Eren did mollified him enough to stop him getting so mad during the day at camp. He felt greedy sometimes, his body aching for another touch, another soft stroke, another gentle body to lean against, and he berated himself sometimes for being creepy but he knew he was also a selfish man and that meant he didn't want to stop. He sometimes felt like he and Eren were walking on some very fine line, only just balancing themselves, and one day something would happen to make them fall.
He tried to dismiss his thoughts, thinking of them as nothing but these changes had seemingly affected him more than he thought. Everyone back at the Survey Corps camp seemed to eye him differently as he stalked through the camp, even when he was in wolf form and for good reason. He no longer snapped at everyone for small petty mistakes, he wasn't as eager to stamp down challengers to his title (though he still had to show a few who really was boss around here) and he even let the small children of the camp pet his fur without so much as a sulky huff. Hanji had commented a lot on it, enthusiastically coming up with theories to explain his new demeanour and trying to dig out the reason. Levi had threatened to kick her into a wall at one point but she still annoyingly persisted, leaping on him with theories at the most random times to try and catch him out. Even Erwin had mentioned that he seemed a little less grumpy but that had only been met with a snarl.
"No thanks to you, you big bastard." He had snapped before stalking off but even he had sensed there was less anger there than there once would have been. Damnit! He had thought. I really am going soft. Eren's going to get me fucking killed at this rate.
The worst thing was, he couldn't entirely say that he minded. He could sense that his feelings were beginning to burn inside him, heating him from the inside out and he sometimes wondered if Eren could feel them too, whether he could feel how Levi burned up like fire when they were close. It was too much and yet not enough at the same time but he couldn't voice what he wanted because he knew he couldn't have it.
We're from different packs, he told himself firmly on those few and far between nights when he did stay in his bed. We're supposed to be sworn enemies, not to mention I'm older than him by several years. Already we've gone too far and he won't want me like this.
That didn't stop him from hoping though.
The two of them spent a few weeks like this, happy enough and secure with each other enough to touch but at the same time, it felt like they were dancing around something, something that weighted the air around them and made it feel like they were moving through lead. Both of them were happy, happier than they had been in a long time but they still both were hoping for more. The heaviness between them felt like it should be addressed at some point but every time on went to speak, it felt like their throats had been stoppered by a cork and the words they wanted to say just wouldn't come out.
Maybe it wasn't meant to be, they both told themselves, even as the other leant on them and entwined their fingers, neither seeing the hop in each other's eyes. Being together with our packs and our pasts… it's just not meant to be.
OOO
It was the end of April when everything turned on its head. The nights were no longer so bitterly cold and the darkness was beginning to fall later with every passing day. That meant that often when Levi met Eren down by the lake, the sky was still light, streaked with pinks and oranges that blended together with big fluffy white clouds that looked like blobs of meringue dancing across them. Levi found he preferred meeting in the spring like this, not just because it wasn't so cold and his balls didn't freeze, but because the soft evening light always did wonders for Eren's skin, lavishing attention on him like an admirer. Whilst the moonlight favoured his own pale skin, the twilight clearly adored Eren as the soft light that signalled the sun's descent made his skin glow like warm honey. It also brought out all the gold flecks in his eyes, making them look like molten gold and shine even more brightly than Levi thought was possible.
Of course, the brat would have impossibly beautiful eyes, he always thought when he watched Eren talk, his green irises glittering even more as he animatedly spoke and waved his arms around in excited gestures. If they get any prettier, I'm never going to be able to stop looking at them. Fuck.
The two of them had arrived only an hour before, their minds surprisingly in sync as they had got there at almost the exact same time. Eren had grinned widely when he had spotted Levi emerging from the trees at the same time as him and Levi had been unable to stop his own lips curling at the same sight. He wasn't sure how they were doing it but he had noticed they never had to arrange meetings through speech anymore; it was like they just fundamentally knew when the other was there. He had brushed it aside, not really questioning it and it was all too easy to ignore when Eren was smiling at him like that and pulling him down to the sand urgently, unable to hold back his excited babble.
"Levi! You wouldn't believe what happened at camp earlier today with Horseface…"
"What did Jean do this time?" Levi asked with a sigh. He now knew most of Eren's friends by name just from the amount of times he had spoken about them but Jean's name- or rather Horseface as he nearly always called him when he was mad- was the one he heard the most frequently. He was kind of glad he had never met this kid in person- he was sure if he did see him and he witnessed him annoying Eren, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from punching the boy in the gut.
"Oh, he's just being his stupid regular self," Eren huffed as he flopped onto the sand, Levi following him down seconds later. "He's acting all cocky, just because his birthday was earlier this month he thinks he's the bee's knees and it's driving me nuts! I mean seriously, can you believe…"
Levi smiled as Eren began to rant like normal, crossly telling him about the next heinous offence this Jean guy had committed. Levi couldn't help but find it amusing; Eren appeared to get worked up at whatever Jean did and likewise, Jean apparently seemed to exist simply to torment Eren. Levi couldn't help but chuckle fondly as the brat leaned on him, his head balanced precariously on his shoulder as his tirade of words continued at a rapid pace.
"He's exactly like the people you described Levi, he thinks he's so big now, just because he's 18! I thought he was arrogant before but it's gone up tenfold since his birthday, I swear to god, the only thing keeping me from killing him is that it would upset Marco and he's far too precious a soul to hurt…"
Levi nodded and made a noise of agreement as Eren went on. He had learnt from experience that there was no point talking when Eren was in a mood like this; the best thing to do was just listen and make the right noises until he had to breathe. Then you could speak. The thought made him chuckle again, a little louder this time and that time, Eren heard it.
"Did you just-Woah!" Wanting to hear more and to see Levi's face as he laughed, Eren tried to turn his head, momentarily forgetting that his head was wobblily perched on Levi's shoulder. Because of this, he quickly lost his balance and his head fell backwards, landing squarely in the middle of Levi's lap.
"Oof!" Levi grunted and Eren squeaked, more out of surprise than actual pain, before the pair of them froze as they stared at each other. Eren's body was now sprawled out over the beach, his head the only part of him not touching the sand as it was cushioned on Levi's thighs. His green eyes were blinking up into Levi's grey ones as the older man hadn't moved a muscle from his seated position. The air around them suddenly felt like spikes digging into their skin, the tension almost too much to bear, and as the seconds ticked by, Eren began to feel more panicked.
"I-I'm sorry!" He blurted out, trying to scrabble back into a sitting position but he found his limbs had turned to jelly under Levi's intense gaze and they were now flopping uselessly on the sand. "I didn't mean to do that, I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"Hurt me?" Levi sounded almost baffled by the question. "I've lived through way worse than one brat falling on me. I'm fine."
"Oh. OK. Good." Eren said as he fell still. Even though the atmosphere was a little awkward, it was kind of nice down there. He couldn't help but admire how firm Levi's leg muscles were (they could rival Mikasa's, was his first thought) and they were also surprisingly comfortable. He wriggled his head a little, watching how Levi's expression flickered but didn't change, before he stretched out his legs and asked tentatively "Should I continue?"
Levi's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and he almost stuttered himself. "Yeah," he managed to choke out, trying to ignore the fact Eren that was currently lying right on top of him and didn't want to move. The heaviness of his head on his legs was an almost pleasant one and he suddenly was hit with a desire to keep him there as long as possible. "Go ahead."
"OK." Eren shot him a dazzling smile before he threw himself back into his rant against Jean. He continued to talk like before, still rapidly spitting out words like gunfire and wildly moving his arms, but Levi found it was difficult to keep focused on his words. All he could think about was the pleasant weight on his legs and how much it pleased him that it was there. Though they had had a lot of contact in the past few weeks, this felt much more intimate, more domestic than before, and Levi couldn't help but enjoy it.
I'd happily charge into battle again if it meant doing this every night for the rest of my life, he thought as one of his hands trailed upwards and buried itself in Eren's thick hair. He hesitated for a second, afraid he had overstepped some invisible boundary, but Eren didn't even pause in his speech, acting like he hadn't even noticed. Levi gave a small sigh of relief before he started to run his fingers through the thick brown locks. The strands curled around his fingers, almost like they were trying to trap them there and his lips twitched into a faint smile. Something about their position felt so warm and so right; he could almost feel the inner animal part of him purring with pride, even though he knew that was ridiculous. Eren continued to talk, eagerly looking up at Levi every so often to catch sight of him nodding, and Levi couldn't remember the last time he had felt this content. Everything here was right, he thought, everything was right and safe.
Then suddenly Eren stopped talking, his eyes going wide as he looked down.
"Levi…"
Levi followed his gaze and his entire body froze up like a statue. He had been so absorbed playing with Eren's hair, that he hadn't even registered what his other hand had been doing. Unconsciously, it had drifted to Eren's stomach and was now resting there, the tips of his fingers rubbing small circles into the fabric of his shirt. Levi felt paralysed with shock but his eyes widened even more when he saw that some of Eren's shirt had ridden up, exposing a slim strip of his toned, honey-coloured stomach that part of his palm was resting on…
He felt horrified. How had he not realised he was doing that? He must look like such a creep right now, touching him like that… Disgusted with himself, he went to pull his hand back but, quick as a flash of light, a hand whipped out and grabbed his wrist, keeping his hand firmly in place.
"You… you don't have to stop." Eren said, his voice sounding like it was close to cracking with nerves but he still stood firm. "I… I don't want you to stop."
Slowly, Eren pressed Levi's hand back down, so every inch of his hand was splayed against his stomach. Then, he slowly dragged it upwards, creasing the material of his shirt and making it bunch under his chin in a collection of white ripples but Levi wasn't staring at that. He was looking down at where his hand was touching the warm skin of Eren's torso, feeling every dip and curve and bump of each rope-like muscle and with every inch his hand moved, a new patch of skin was revealed to him that he just couldn't look away from.
"Eren…" He felt spellbound, his voice rasping out and his throat feeling tight. He was all too conscious of Eren's eyes on him, how they were zeroing in on his gasping breaths and the tightening of his limbs, the signs that he was slowly, slowly losing all control. All he wanted was to reach down and attach his mouth to the sight that was being unveiled before him, he wanted to hear how Eren's breath would hitch and moan as he nibbled at his skin, losing his cool like Levi was now. But he knew he couldn't. All the doubts he had, their age gap, their packs, the fact that they were basically each other's deepest secret, were bubbling back up into his mind and he could hear them screaming like banshees.
Are you insane? They seemed to be saying, relentlessly pounding into his head. You need to get up and walk away! However, they couldn't compare to the sheer thrall Eren had him in at that moment; next to him, they were nothing but faint thuds in his heads, like distant footsteps, and as for walking away, he didn't know if he had the strength to.
Still he tried. "Eren, we shouldn't be doing this." He forced out, his breathless voice barely above a whisper. "This isn't right."
"Why isn't it?" Eren asked, suddenly bolder as his eyes searched Levi's face. From his tone, it was clear he was demanding an answer and he was going to get it. "Why isn't it right? You're saying you don't want this?"
"No! That's not what I'm saying at all!" Levi cursed at himself; he didn't need to turn around to know Eren's face had just lit up in triumph. "I'm saying that we shouldn't be doing this, we've already gone too far as it is…"
"You never cared about that before." Eren pointed out sharply, his fingers gripping Levi's wrist harder like the pressure could persuade him. "The fact that I'm Maria never mattered to you before."
"It's not just about our packs Eren." Levi tried to say. The act of speaking was getting more and more difficult as Eren slowly sat up, inch by inch bringing his face closer to Levi's and making all the words he had fly off his tongue like startled birds. "I'm years older than you, I've fought in a war, I've seen things you couldn't imagine, I can't expect you to shoulder my burdens with me. You're young, you have more of a chance at happiness, you should take it with someone else…"
"I don't care!" Eren suddenly snapped, forcing Levi to stop and listen. "I don't give a damn about all that and you know it! I've known all those things for a long time, ever since I met you, and I'm still here, aren't I? I've heard about all those things you did, I held you as you told me and you held me when I told you about my past as well or have you already forgotten that?"
"Eren…" Levi tried to speak over him but Eren quickly raised his other hand, the one that wasn't holding Levi's wrist captive, and pressed his fingers onto Levi's mouth, making him go silent.
"You asked me not to leave and I promised you I wouldn't." Eren said determinedly, his voice the boldest Levi had ever heard it sound. "I told you I wasn't going to leave you but the truth is I don't think I can if I tried. I know I'm young and I'm still naïve in a lot of things but I still know what I'm feeling and I know you feel it too. I don't care because I just want a chance for happiness in this world and I'm not going to let it pass. I want this just as much as you Levi," His voice dropped into a whisper as the hand on his lips suddenly moved to cup his cheek instead. "So what's holding you back?"
For a few seconds, Levi was stunned. He felt almost overwhelmed, like a strong tide had him in its grasp and was beating him from all directions. The only thing holding him there was the earnest look in Eren's eyes. His bright green eyes were staring into his and they promised only honestly, told him that every word Eren had said was true. It was at that moment when all his resolve crumbled and the doubts in his head became a low din he couldn't even hear anymore. All everybody wants is to seek happiness, he thought. Why should I stop myself seeking it too?
"Nothing." He whispered back, Eren's face now so close to his he could feel the heat of both their breaths. "Absolutely nothing."
The second after whispering his answer, he slammed his lips onto Eren's, unable to hold himself back for a moment longer. Eren met him hungrily, both his hands going to Levi's face to pull him closer as his body pressed them both back against the rocks. Levi could feel their ridges in his back but he didn't care as both his hands, now freed from Eren's grip, went to Eren's back and pulled him closer so their bodies slotted perfectly together. He felt more than heard Eren's low moan as it vibrated against his own lips and he gave his own in response. This is heavenly, he could only just think as his hand trailed back up into Eren's hair and harshly fisted itself in the strands. This is better than I ever could have thought.
"Levi…" Eren moaned, shortly pulling away from the kiss for air before he dived back in, kissing Levi with everything he had. Their lips were already wet, glistening pink with spit like they were slobbering on each other and Eren was revelling in it. He adored the fact that he could get Levi, the man with the stone-cold façade and impenetrable gaze, into a state like this, one where he was desperate for him and couldn't get enough. He met Levi with everything he had and when the older man had to draw back to gasp for breath, he peppered kisses on all the parts of him he could reach, starting on his cheeks and jawline before dipping down and tracing the line of his neck.
"Oh fuck…" He heard Levi choke out and he couldn't stop himself from grinning against Levi's pale skin. He licked and bit lightly at the join of his neck and shoulder, pushing away his shirt to get to it as he nuzzled against it like he was in his wolf form. He circled his hips slightly, rutting their two bodies together and they both gave low moans.
"Fuck, we're not doing this here." He heard Levi growl above him before suddenly there were two hands under his thighs and he was hoisted upwards with a squeal. "I'm not getting sand all over me just because you're such a goddamn teenager."
Eren had to laugh as Levi carried him to god knows where. "Trust you to think of getting dirty when we're doing this." He said but there was no trace of grumpiness in his voice and he continued to lavish attention on Levi's skin, getting bolder as he nipped harder below Levi's collar. There it would be easier to hide any marks and so he gleefully set to work turning the pale canvas red and blotchy with his teeth.
"Shit Eren," Levi grunted through his teeth, showing how much restraint, he was putting into not devouring Eren on the spot. "Are you trying to kill me?"
Eren only responded with a giggle before he licked a stripe right up the middle of his neck. Seconds later, he felt the hands holding him up disappear, causing him to crash backwards and hit the ground.
"Hey!" He glared up at Levi, who now had a wide smirk on his face, before he realised he was lying in a patch of wild flowers. Bright pink and white petals surrounded him, dusting his face with their silkiness and the grass was surprisingly soft and springy, almost like a mattress. He looked back up to see Levi was smiling, one that was more genuine than just the curling of his lips, and he almost wanted to cry. Had Levi seen that spot and realised how perfect it was? Not only was it soft and romantic as hell, the flowers also had a strong perfume, meaning that any of the other's smell would get washed away.
Eren reached up his arms for Levi to join him and the man didn't need telling twice. "Brat." He mumbled fondly against Eren's lips before he kissed them again, slowly and deeply at first before both of their passions got the better of them. Within minutes, the pair were clawing at each other, their bodies so tightly pressed to each other's, it was like they were hoping the heat would melt them together. Eren's shirt, already a crumpled mess, was quickly pulled over his head and discarded and Levi's went not long after. Their hands travelled over each other's bodies almost desperately, pinching and stroking and sucking almost frantically, like it was all a dream and any moment they would wake up. They wrestled for a long time over who was on top but Eren finally won when he clambered on top of Levi and ground his hips down again, meeting Levi's crotch dead on.
"Fuck!" He cried out again, his back keening at the new sensation and Eren gave a grin before he did it again harder. Both of them moaned as their clothed bulges rubbed against each other, the friction almost too delicious to bear and Levi found he was gripping Eren's shoulders so hard, he could see little red crescents beginning to form, little half-moons going white against the pressure.
Good, he thought. Let everyone see he's mine.
He wasn't sure where such a possessive thought had come from but his mind was suddenly wiped as Eren's movements got faster, rolling his hips like he was performing a lap dance and hitting Levi in the right spot every single time. The pleasure was washing over both of them like a flood and Levi could hear himself loudly moaning and gasping as he squirmed under Eren. It was all too much, he felt like he was about to burst out of his skin with the heat and the pleasure yet he couldn't stop himself wanting more.
"Oh god! Eren, fuck, wait fuck…" He gasped out in an attempt to stop him but then Eren pressed himself down hard on Levi, just in the right place, and it was all too late. He cried out and clenched his eyes shut as pleasure pulsed through his body, making his toes curl and his finger dig even harder into Eren's skin. He couldn't think of the last time he had experienced a rush quite as great as that- it had been a long time since had had anyone else to help him. Now he didn't want anyone else but Eren ever again.
Above him, Eren rutted a couple more times, his thrusts more and more erratic until he too shuddered and his body flopped, landing on Levi as his chest heaved. For a long moment, the two of them just laid there, their breathing slowly returning to normal until Levi felt the sticky dampness of his trousers and groaned.
Great, he thought. I can't believe I just came in my pants like a fucking teenager.
"I can't believe you just made me do that," He huffed as he voiced his complaints out loud, staring up at the sky. "Now I've got to walk back to camp with a soggy crotch."
"You weren't complaining earlier." Eren snarked back, sounding like he had just won a great victory. "And in case you haven't noticed, I'm in the same boat."
"Yes but you're a teenager, everyone expects you to have no control of your bodily fluids" Levi snapped. "For someone my age, it's just embarrassing."
He made to sit up, his arms raising to push Eren off of him but the younger man suddenly clung to him, his arms wound tightly around him like a baby monkey.
"Please." He said quietly, speaking against Levi's neck where he had left so many marks. Some of them were already beginning to fade but others stood out proudly in their purple-reddish hues and both of them knew they would be there for a good couple of days. "Please stay for a little longer."
Levi instantly felt himself soften. "I was only going to try and clean up a little," he said, stroking the top of Eren's head and lying back down among the flowers, trying not to sound too pleased when Eren gave a pleased purr and nuzzled back into his side. "But I guess I can put it off for a little while."
The real truth was, he never wanted to get up ever again.
