Garrus looked over Kaidan's shoulder at Shepard, standing in the water, washing herself, rubbing soap into her hair, rinsing it, then doing it again. She was scrubbing her arms, her abdomen... He froze. As a C-Sec Officer he had seen this behaviour before.
And the realisation of what had happened to Shepard hit him. "No..."
He could hear Kaidan inhale in a hiss as he came to the same conclusion. "Oh God..." The man's voice was flat, dead. "They raped her."
Garrus turned to James Vega who was standing a few feet away. "You knew?"
The young marine had tears in his eyes. "I suspected it. One of my friends sisters was raped. She acted in the same way. Just closed down. Never talked about it. Like she wanted to forget it had ever happened."
"What happened to her?" Kaidan asked in that same dull tone of voice.
James ran a hand over his eyes, wiping away the tears before they fell. "She started using red sand. Died of an overdose a year later."
Garrus wasn't listening. A rumble rose in his chest, a sound somewhere between a growl and a cry. He waded out into the water to where Shepard was standing, crying quietly, curled into herself. He pulled her into his embrace, wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. "I'm sorry..." His dual-toned voice was rough, the sub-harmonics trembling. "I'm so sorry... I should have known."
She struggled against him, crying out, a sound of desperation, of soul-tearing pain. But he refused to let her go. He held her gently but firmly, leaning his head against her wet hair as she slumped in his arms. His voice, fractured, broken, reverberated in the emotional darkness she was enveloped in. "They won't get away with this, Shepard. I'll kill them. I promise. I'll hunt them down and kill them."
Sobs shook her slender frame. "Let go of me." Her voice was thin, frail like glass.
But Garrus shook his head. "Never." His mandibles moved against her hair when he spoke, his voice was soft, so soft, in her ear. "You are not alone in this, Shepard. I'm not leaving you. You'll get through this. You'll survive."
You'll survive... You have to...
Shepard took a trembling breath.
Kaidan and James were watching from the bank. Kaidan was still reeling from the revelation. Still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Shepard had been violated in such a crude, cruel way, when his comm crackled to life.
"...ground team... copy?" The transmission was broken up and interrupted by static.
"Cortez?" Kaidan lifted a hand to his ear. "Cortez are you there?"
"... can't get any... readings... all systems just shuts down..." Even with the low quality of the transmission, Kaidan could hear the confusion in the shuttle pilot's voice. "Something is interrupting... reroute to emergency RV..."
"Copy that", Kaidan said, hoping that Cortez could make out at least some of what he said. "We'll head to the emergency RV. ETA 71 hours." He rubbed a hand over his brow. "Shit."
"What's wrong, Major?" James asked, frowning at the tone in Kaidan's voice.
"Change of plans", he said, loud enough for Garrus and Shepard to hear it as well. "Cortez can't pick us up at the original RV. We have to continue to the emergency RV and hope that what ever it is that's blocking our communications and effecting the shuttle's system doesn't reach that far."
"So all this static isn't caused by the weather?" James sighed in exasperation. "Well that's just great."
"Yeah", Kaidan agreed. "At least our navs still work. And we seem to have manage to loose the Blue Suns."
"For now. They'll pick up on our trail soon enough. We didn't exactly bother with hiding our tracks. We need to move."
Garrus and Shepard were making their way back to the river's bank. The turian still had his arms around her, holding her upright. She looked completely spent and like she was going to faint at any moment.
Kaidan extended his hand to her. Shepard hesitated a moment before putting her hand in his, allowing him to help her out of the water. Despite what had just happen she was far from okay. The way she held her arms in front of herself, covering her breasts like a shy, frightened teenager, told him that.
"Let's get you some clothes," he said softly. They hadn't planned to stay more than three or four days on Pragia and had packed lightly. But both him and James had brought a change of clothes, just T-shirts and sweatpants to sleep in, but it would have to do.
It was with a sigh of relief Shepard pulled on the T-shirt James handed her. It was light grey, sporting a black Alliance logo on the chest. The sweatpants Kaidan provided was a faded black. Thankfully they had strings in the waistband so she could adjust them to fit her. They still hung low on her hips but at least they wouldn't fall down. She was still barefoot but the ground was soft enough and if she was careful she should be able to avoid stepping on anything nasty and poisonous.
She knew from experience that in about ten minutes she would be wet and dirty again. But for now at least she took some comfort in the fact that the clothes she wore was dry and reasonably clean. Kaidan was running one of his scans and the result made him frown. "How often did they drug you?"
Shepard shrugged. "I don't know. Every couple of hours, maybe. It was hard to keep track of time."
His eyes were drawn to the needle marks. Most had healed thanks to the medi-gel but not all of them. A few were red and swollen. She was still running a fever, still fighting an infection. He looked up and met her gaze. Her eyes seemed huge in her pale face, dark circles shadowed them.
"I-I think I'm having symptoms of withdrawal."
Kaidan nodded. He raised his hand to touch her cheek, then thought better of it and let the hand rest on his knee instead. "The medi-gel should take the edge of it, you'll feel like crap but you'll get through it. I'll help you... We will help you", he said. He hid his anxiety behind what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Come on, we need to put some distance between us and this place before it gets dark."
They started following the meandering river. Garrus took point with James covering their arches, leaving Kaidan to keep an eye on Shepard.
The vegetation was less dense as long as they kept to the river's sandy bank, but they left a trail even a child could follow. They would have to get back in amongst the trees soon enough.
It wasn't long before Shepard was shivering again. She blinked, trying to clear the black spots dancing before her eyes. Nausea made her double-over and she fell to her knees. Bile rose in her throat and she vomited. Tears leaked from her eyes silently as her stomach emptied itself of what little content it had held.
Kaidan knelt beside her, putting a comforting hand on her back as she gasped and coughed and vomited again. He brushed away the stands of hair that clung to her forehead and cheeks and gave her the water canteen. With shaking fingers, Shepard lifted it to her lips, taking a gulp, clearing her mouth and throat from the disgusting taste of bile.
"Thank you", she said between clattering teeth. She handed the canteen back to Kaidan and climbed back to her feet a little unsteadily.
They continued, turning away from the river and entering the jungle. The air was heavy to breathe and it wasn't long until Shepard was struggling again. Kaidan put an arm around her waist, taking some of her weight and helping her stay on her feet. She sagged against him, slipping in to a hazy state somewhere between unconsciousness and being awake.
"We have to stop!" He called out, gently lowering Shepard on to the ground, propping her up against a tree trunk. It was late afternoon. Under the thick canopy darkness had already started to fall.
Garrus, a large, almost threatening figure in the shadows made his way to them, stepping around the remains of a fallen tree completely overgrown by a vine with thick glossy leaves. "How's she doing?" He asked, his flanging voice revealing his worry.
"Not good", Kaidan replied, administering a dose of medi-gel. He looked up at the turian. "We have to set camp. If she makes it through the night she should be starting to get better tomorrow."
Garrus stared at the man. "If she makes it through the night?"
"Is Shepard going to die?" James was looking from Garrus to Kaidan. "You don't die from withdrawal do you?"
"It can happen", Kaidan replied reluctantly. "The shock caused by the rape and the abuse she's suffered combined with the abstinence strains her entire system..." He looked up at them with dark eyes. "We might loose her."
So there we have it, chapter 7, and Shepard might die... Hopefully she doesn't. Although you can never be too sure. I have killed off characters before.
Thanks to Christine for pointing out that Shepard was still pantsless. And to CyanB who's comment inspired the opening of the chapter. Thank you kindly both of you.
I'm aiming for more action and less emo in the next chapter, but who knows in which direction the plot will go. I guess we just have to wait and see. :)
