A/N: Thanks so much for the kind comments. I really appreciate them.

"Hey, Stefan? Before you go, could you go upstairs and get my dairy out of my room? It's behind the picture above my bed." He nodded and disappeared upstairs. Writing in my diary was the only thing I could think to do at this point. I couldn't imagine that anyone would understand.

"Here you go. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about before I go? You look worried." Stefan had noticed the frown I let slip onto my face.

"I, uh…" Was there something other than the obvious? "What about Aunt Jenna? I don't want her in danger either. I've seen how hard it is for new vampires to control themselves."

"Actually, I had planned on going to talk to her. I have to figure out how to get her to ingest vervain." Stefan's eyebrows drew together as he thought. "Is there any kind of food she especially enjoys?"

"I think she loves banana nut bread. I could make some while I'm hanging out here. Can you bring the vervain over later?"

"Of course." He smiled broadly and leaned over to kiss my forehead before he turned to leave.

Finally, I was alone with my thoughts.

Dear Diary, I began. These last few hours have been extremely confusing. I'm torn between two of the most amazing guys I've ever met. Stefan is loyal, kind, considerate, and romance novel gorgeous. On the other hand, Damon is sex on wheels, charming, mysterious, and one of the most darkly handsome men I've ever seen.

I guess the main difference is that I have no doubt that I can depend on Stefan. If he can do something for me, he will. Even if he can't he'll try anyway. Then Damon… Well, I never feel like I really know. He'll probably do what I need him to, but usually not in exactly the way I was expecting. I think he has the right motivations, he's just misguided.

So pretty much… It's all on me. The ball is in my court, but I would rather just throw it back. Whichever brother I pick, I'll probably never see the other again. Can I settle for comfort and security when I have all-consuming passion staring me in the face? I love both of them.

Stefan has spent most of his years fighting against what he is and I'm afraid that one day, he'll lose control with someone he cares about and the tragedy will force him into oblivion. Can I deal with the possibility that the tragedy could be me?

Then there's Damon. He has completely embraced the vampire he is. He's reckless, violent, and sometimes very detached. I know there's good in him—I've seen it. I honestly can't say whether I'm willing to risk choosing him only to be tossed the minute he's tired of me.

Diary, you're the only one I can trust with this. If I explained the relatively human part of this to Aunt Jenna, she would probably refuse to help me decide. Jeremy's upstairs doing who knows what… probably biting his pillow for practice. Bonnie wouldn't want to hear any of this. The others would just flip out in one way or another.

If I'm honest with myself, I really, really want to believe Damon can be himself for me. He's been hurt so much, I know it would mean a lot if he opened up to me completely. I can hear my grandmother telling me "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

I think there's someone at the door. Gotta run!

I slid my diary into a kitchen drawer and craned my neck to look down the hall toward the front door. When I saw Damon, my heart jumped.

"Hey, heard of knocking?" I asked without conviction.

"Don't sound too excited. It might scare the children." I loved the way he tended raised his eyebrows when he spoke. Damon came over and gave me a quick hug.

"Wow. Almost human-like. I'm impressed." I couldn't help smiling. He looked like he might kiss me, but I mouthed "Jeremy" and pointed at the ceiling. He got the picture.

"Before you say anything, I know I said I'd give you a few hours to think or whatever. I talked to Stefan briefly about what was going on here and I thought you might want my help." He looked close to normal, relaxing in the kitchen chair across from me.

"Yeah, there are a couple things I could use some vampire help with." I sighed. This day had no normal in sight. "I'm still worried about Aunt Jenna being here. Stefan is going to bring me some vervain to put into banana nut bread, but I would rather have a foolproof way of keeping her away from Count Dracula upstairs." At my last comment, I could hear Jeremy grumbling to himself.

"I would say he's more along the lines of Count von Count. But seriously. I could compel Jenna to stay at a friend's house or something? Of course, then I'd have to compel the friend, too, but that's not a big problem," he finished agreeably.

"That could work." I smiled.

"Can we go up and talk to your brother for a while? I wanted to help him learn some of the basics. Also, I need to get rid of the bullshit I'm sure Stefan tried to put in his head." I nodded. Damon took my hand and led me upstairs.