Chapter 7 Incessant Thoughts
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, it all belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Severus leaned against the door frame, his thoughts racing madly through his mind as he tried to pull himself together, to forget the memory of her shivering against him....
His fist connected angrily with the wall and it was all he could do to keep his thoughts fixed on the Death Eaters who were in the room to his right, not too far from him.
He willed his mind to quiet, and slowly approached the adjacent room, filled with the slowly unwinding followers of the Dark Lord, fresh from a particularly nasty meeting, and ready to spend the night talking of the next meeting.
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Hours later, as he sat back on his couch, stretching his legs out near the fire, his mind still would not allow him to rest without repeating that scene over and over again, each time from a different perspective.
Even his body was betraying him, flushing every time he remembered the way she felt under his touch, the way she practically surrendered herself to him.
Why?
Why had she acted that way? Did she want him? Did she want him?
His thoughts chased each other around, trying to find a reason for her actions.
Maybe she did want him... or, at least, she liked him, perhaps more than anyone else would, especially because of his recent injustices. Given the way she had responded to his face on the wanted poster at the station, she obviously felt something for him.
He had assumed she merely hated him, as everyone else did, because of what had conspired between him and Dumbledore. Yet, had she not shivered under him, as he whispered in her ear?
Or was he wrong?
Was he so desperate to find love that the slightest shiver would elicit that emotion in him?
Was he crazy?
What had happened to the shielded man that never showed any emotion? How could he ever forgive himself for acting that way? For acting like a foolish teenager?
His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, before they narrowed. He had left her with nothing to make her believe he was a Death Eater. If she had any sense, she would know he had just saved her life.
What else could he have done?
Another second with her, and he didn't know what he would have done... That was why he had Disapparated, he hadn't trusted himself to even have the power to walk away from her, without turning right back around and claiming her lips, pulling her to him....
He closed his eyes, trying to keep the incessant thoughts away.
Why was he letting her get to him? Her? The know-it-all who he had berated every single time he had the chance to. The only girl who could get to him, leave him seething with anger at her brashness.
And anyway, how had she even come to like him? Him? Wasn't he the greasy bat of the dungeons, out to get everyone he happened to have a slight prejudice against?
The whys of the situation danced around in his brain, warring against each other, each one trying to find a reason that she could like him... even want him.
Why?
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A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but I'll update again soon, I promise. Review, if you wish.
~Fay-Fortchyn
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