Omg.. This one is little bad. Nothing explicit. Onesided pairings: SakuSasu SasuOro Implied: NaruSaku KabOro ItaSasu.. Alot of it is hard to see.. You have to look really close. I have no life. Enjoy the madness!

Where Babies Come From

Naruto followed Sakura out the doors of the Ninja Academy. She walked as fast as she could, trying to ignore him, even though he obviously wanted her attention. But it couldn't be helped. Sooner than she would have liked, the crowds of children had dispersed, leaving her alone with Naruto.

"Hey, hey! Sakura!" Naruto called.

Sighing heavily, she turned back to him. "What do you want now? Why don't you just leave me alone?"

A mischevious grin spread across his face. "Sakura, do you know where babies come from?"

Sakura gaped at him. "O-of course I do!" she stuttered. But in truth she had never given thought to the question; she had no idea.

Naruto giggled. "You're lying," he said, seeing her obvious discomfort at not knowing something that even a dunce like him knew. Sakura blushed, caught red handed. "You want me to tell you?"

Sakura glared at him crossing her arms. "No. I don't need you to tell me."

Naruto shrugged, "Fine. Have it your way." He smiled again as she gaped at after him.

She gave him another steely look before making as though to walk away. Predictably, Naruto dashed after.

"Here, I'll just tell you," he told her.

Sakura's inner self grinned. Naruto would tell her, and she could act as if she had known the entire time.

"Well, first there's a guy and a girl.." he leaned down to her ear, whispering more. It was mere seconds before she hit him.

"NARUTO! You lair!" she yelled as she sent him flying into a nearby tree with devastating force.

As he sat trying to recover, Sakura stalked off with a new scheme in mind.

Sasuke's smart and he won't lie. I'll just ask him. Sasuke will know. With that assumption firm in her mind, Sakura went in search of him.


Sasuke was walking along leisurely when Sakura finally located him. "Sasuke!" she called, running up to him with a sappy smile.

"Hi, Sakura," he mumbled, a little startled by her sudden appearance overly excited demeanor.

She suddenly became shy. "Sasuke," Babies.. with Sasuke… "Where do babies come from?"

He gave a small surprised gasp. I.. I never thought about it. Where do babies come from? Sasuke glared at her. "You don't know?" he asked in the most conscending voice he could muster.

Sakura stared at her feet with a look of hurt embarrassment. "S-sasuke.. Can you tell me? Naruto tried to say something, but I'm sure he's lying."

"Hn," he growled, giving her another disdainful glare before walking away. Ashamed of her lack of knowledge, Sakura trudged home.

Sasuke continued home, lost in his disconcerted musings. Just where did babies come from?


He moped around his house, deeply disturbed by lacking such basic knowledge. Itachi shuffled in, flopping into his studying desk to get to work.

Sasuke peeked over the back of the couch at him.

"Yes, Sasuke?" he asked feeling the boy's eyes on him.

"Niisan.." he paused, shy about asking the question. "Where do babies come from?"

Itachi turned suddenly, sighing. "You really want to know?"

Sasuke nodded eagerly. Itachi's going to tell me!

"Uh, well.." he pondered, trying to decide how best to explain things. Finally he sighed again and stood, folding his arms. Sasuke stared up at him, anxiously anticipating his words. "Maybe.." he furrowed his brow, "Maybe I'll just show you."

It wasn't what Sasuke had been expecting, but better. Biting his thumb to draw blood, Itachi expertly wove his hands through a short series of hand signs. He sat on his knees to slam his palm on the floor, surprising Sasuke, who took a step backwards, stumbling over his feet slightly. There was a large puff of smoke. "Summoning jutsu!"

Sasuke coughed on the thick white clouds before they faded. Itachi took a step back, motioning to the silhouette that was becoming visible. Sasuke's eyes widened; it was a baby!

They stared, dumbfounded for a few seconds. The baby had the signature emo Uchiha bangs and a ponytail much like Itachi's. The only issues were oversized glasses and the faded color of its hair, to a silvery gray.

After a moment, Sasuke commented, "It's ugly…"

"Kinda like you," Itachi retorted, embarrassed at the fluke summoning.

Ignoring what his brother said, Sasuke made a suggestion. "Let's sell it."

"Yeah," Itachi snorted. "That'd be a great idea, if we could find someone to buy it."

"We'll make it free.." Sasuke offered feebily.

"Hmm.." Itachi held his chin in thought. "You might have something there. That Orochimaru is always here trying to buy you to be his sex slave. Maybe we can give him this thing instead."

"What do you mean 'sex' slave?" Sasuke asked naively.

"Uh," Itachi waved his hand dismissively. "It's nothing. Let's just sell the kid."


That is why Kabuto shall now be forever known as the 'lost pokemon brother' and how he came into being, ending up as Orochimaru's sex toy.. At least until Sasuke came along. Babies come from summoning jutsus people.


This spurted from a comic on my deviant art account. The comic sucks, but it was still funny! Tell me what you thought! Review, review! Maybe I'll let you in on the pokemon brother joke. hahaha.. This is so screwed up.. REview me and tell me how twisted I am, I need to hear it.