Hi all, looooooong time. So sorry. I am even more sorry because this chapter was actually completed over half a year ago. I just hadn't cleaned it up (even now it was rushed) but I hope you enjoy this harmless bantering chapter - until the real stuff begins! Over and Out!

-story-

Rumble walked up beside Dirge and tapped on the datapad, a giant smirk spread over his faceplate after a bell-like BING echoed from its soundcore. The mission became a success, even after Autobot Reinforcements arrived on the scene to chase the cons off their front porch. Four nets of Energon was attained and that was at least half which was expected. Megatron put Starscream down for only getting half (even if he expected to get none), Starscream naturally blamed a useless team for the failure, and Soundwave pointed out it was a team chosen by Starscream - nothing unusual in the arguements that followed after missions. And so the beat went on.

Only this time Rumble trotted beside his newest friend: Dirge. When he looked at the big blue conehead, his spark pitied him. Dirge was fearful and Rumble knew why - for once. 'Cheer up.' he said 'Flamewar might not even remember what happened.'
'And if she did?' the fear in Dirges vocals was more evident than his face. 'I lose! Flamewar won't forgive like Slipstream will.
'Actually,' Thrust jumped infront of them, making the two blue mechs stop, Dirge glowered but Thrust continued. 'I think Slipstream was too concussed to take anything she says seriously - Ramjet should try again.'
'Where were you?' Dirge accused and poked Thrust in the chest 'You bailed on the mission and the task. How did you even get a net?'
'You think I bailed, but I succeeded both!' Thrust poked his brother back 'All by myself too. It was tough, but naturally I could do it because I am definitely the better brother.' The red mech chuckled, strutted passed them and turned around to add, with a glint of mischief in his optic; 'Too bad you guys weren't there - I owned the battle!'
'Thats ok.' Rumble said, unaware of the cons gluttonous self flattery 'Spyglass captured it all for me.'

Thrust froze. His pride burst in just a single short sentence. Dirge chuckled darkly then folded his arms across his chest like he had just successfully punched Thrust in the face but Thrust was determined and not easily taken out - not like Flamewar. 'No worries' Thrust said casually 'I'll just find Spyglass and get thim to erase-'
'Look.' Rumble said and proudly held the datapad up for Thrust to see 'Got it already. I haven't gone through it yet but Spyglass said he wasn't sure whether he should be shocked, appauled or intrigued. That sounds good yeah?'
'HAHA!' Dirge patted a stunned Thrust on the back - the same way Arcee patted him and in that moment he realised what she was patting him for. 'Looks like Spyglass works faster than your vocal processor spins self flattery!'
'Yeah well-' Thrust said, branishing a fist at Dirges face 'Least I don't knock my targets out cold!'
'Who told you that?!'

'Oh look!' Rumble interupted the two who now stood, optic to optic, poised to strike. 'Flamewar is coming.' The little mech tapped their knees with a knowing laugh: Siblings fight all the time. Dirges battle ready stance retracted and he cringed.

Thrust looked at the black flamed femme as she approached. Her now uncrumbled chest area still bore scratches and her stride proved she was still in pain but her face was what really meant business. 'Flamewar looks pissed.' he said with a smile.
'Uh-Oh.' Dirge stepped back from the advancing femme. 'She knows... I'm dead.'
'You're like three times her size.' Thrust smiled then added 'But you're right. You're dead.' Instead of replying the blue conehead threw a fist at Thrust's head but it stopped right before contact. His red brother flinched from the fake attack and cowardly slunk away. A menacing grin came to Dirges faceplate. If he dies now, at least he died scaring Thrust.

'You punched Flamewar clean out of the most epic fight she had planned for cycles... her life's ambition...' Rumble said as Dirge took Thrusts lead and slunk lower and lower into the ground during Rumbles speech. 'I'm sure Flamewar doesn't know or she might be happy you punched her out cold - because it gives her a goal to still strive for.'

'DIRGE!' Flamewar fumed, and marched right up to him in a very unusual hot temper.
'Or maybe not.' Rumble concluded, and skipped away to hide behind Thrusts legs.

Dirge said nothing. Just waited for her fist to start flying his way. He at least had a not-so-secret weapon that would spin her processors backwards and he intended to use it. When she reached Dirge however she stopped to cool down, and addressed him formally. A little too calm.

'I must offer my gratitude for last mission.' she said simply. The three mechs were dumbstruck. 'Uhh. Ok...' Dirge said, waiting for her to continue. Dirge is the first to admit he isn't the brightest spark in the family but this would confuse even Shockwave.
'That was it.' she said and crossed her arms 'Now about tonight.'
'WHOOHOO!' Rumble burst into cheer, jumped up and punched the air
'Woah' Thrust stepped aside 'Watch it!'

The black femme looked at Rumble for a moment and narrowed her optics 'What credits you wagering small mech?'
'None at all.' Rumble said innocently. And it was the truth too. Flamewar leaned down to his face.
'I'm gonna rip off your arms and beat you with your pile drivers if you don't tell the truth...' Flamewar added without inflicting the usually sinister tone to a threat.
'I'd like to see you try' Rumble smirked, he had protection and its name was Soundwave. 'But Thrust and I must go and view some footage of the mission for - err - future referencing and ... stuff.'

'Wait.' Flamewar said and Rumble stopped. Not because he had to but he really didn't want to leave, he wanted to see the outcome. 'If you're involved in this little shenanigan, you ought to hear this: Dirge?' The larger blue mech jolted to attention. 'We will meet at Darkmount Armoury, where you will escort me to Highwire Point: Kaons most romantic getaway.'
'Didn't Highwire get trashed by the first Autobot wave back at the start of war?' Dirge asked, easily confused.
'Shut up!' Flamewar said with a hiss, and pushed him into the wall as both Rumble and Thrust sniggered. 'At Highwire Point, you will serve me the finest Hi Grade we have to offer, with an array of Cybertronian metals, in various shapes and sizes. I have quite a delicate palate sensor. Oh and I want unmodified organic compound material as an entree, with pure polymer resins and soft epoxy fillers as dessert. Different grades of course. All of these must be PURE, free of radicals. I expect that should cost you most, if not all, of your credits - if you can afford it.'

'Ok. After that, then what?' Dirge asked and even Rumble wondered if he actually understood the true price she implied. Rumble doubted Dirge could afford it too. He might have been on Starscreams Elite Air Squadron but he was still a Decepticon and their wages weren't exactly worthy of the effort.

'After that?' Flamewar mused, then quickly grimaced at the thought of it. 'I'm gonna need A LOT of Hi Grade for there to be any after that going on.' she sauntered off, her head held high in confidence. No way could Dirge complete her request and then the victory is going to be all hers.

'Well...' Rumble said 'Thrust and I are going to watch the footage now. We'll leave you to find the stuff Flamewar wanted.' Rumble slowly stepped away from Dirge - he wasn't assisting with her request. He had better things to do. He had to see this footage from Spyglass. Thrust couldn't get that Energon net without some favours, surely! And Spyglass was so traumatised by it all, the moment he transferred the data to Rumble, he deleted it and cleaned it from his system. It just had to be good.

Dirge rattled off, out loud, all the things he would need and walked the other way to Rumble and a grumbling Thrust, right towards another red mech, buffed to a mirror finish, whom chuckled at the list being uttered.
'What is all that for?' he asked with a smooth accent.
'A Date' Dirge said absentminded 'With Flamewar.'
'Platinum taste for an iron chassis.' the foreign mech spoke again, like he was part of the storyboard since chapter one.
'Who asked you Knock Out?' Dirge spat and grabbed the much smaller field medic in one hand 'Just keep walking!'
'Well I would have...' Knock Out said earnestly 'If you hadn't stopped me but I think you're going to want me for this one.' The sports mech smiled sweetly and Dirge growled. How could any con have been born that attractive and with that much charisma? 'Think about it my big blue friend.' Knock Out added 'Where else would you get that much pure materials?' Dirge thought hard for a brief moment then gasped.
'Medical!' Dirge said with a smile and loosened his grip on the fancy sports mech.
'Walk with me.' Knock Out purred 'and lets talk price.'

-Secret Footage-

Thrust drummed his fingers on the table they chose to sit at in mess hall 5 and nervously waited for Rumble to return with his pain in the aft datapad and some drinks - three for each con. Why had he not looked for spies? He thought no-one was with him when he attacked the Autobots storage, and what happened between him and Air Raid would remain a mystery forever giving Thrust a notch up in skills, maybe even a payrise. He didn't think Spyglass was following him, how could he? Spyglass was so quiet... so good at, well frankly, spying that not even the most observant of robots would realise he was watching. And that thought was scary in its own right.

'How would you say your fared?' Rumble asked, in a fake seriousness after he pressed play 'Only kidding. You did better than Dirge. He was going so well too...' 'Maybe Spyglass didn't catch it all? You know interference?'
'We'll soon see!' Rumble said with a cheer. 'Now, I need total focus.'

The footage began to play and Thrust slumped in his seat, Energon nestled in his hand when the first scenes appeared and he gulped it down in a single chug. Only moments later he downed another, and his third shortly after that. So far Air Raid hadn't' shown up... This was going to be a long video.

At the halfway point, or what Thrust deemed halfway, the red conehead was down to his ninth Energon helping and up to the bar for another dose. His credits however were blown out... like he had it to burn! When the barmech said his credits declined, Thrust simply asked him to add it to Rumbles account - couldn't hurt to try.

'Rumble?' Thrust called out with a slur, as power coursed through his veins and threatened to spike his system. Rumble was too engrossed in the footage, his red visor twice its normal size, when he heard his name he simply waved his hand up - a gesture more similar to a 'hold up' than an 'charge me' - but that was good enough for the barmech. Thrust felt much happier knowing he was tapping Rumbles account now, and ordered a half dozen more - just in case he needed them.

By the end of it, Rumble had gasped, oh'ed, ah'ed and tapped more than adequate amounts of information from the footage. Thrust was honestly too plastered drunk to care what that meant. He rested his black faceplate flat on the table, each hand sat next to his head and held tightly onto a near empty Energon cup. A dozen more cups littered the table and floor around them - all empty. To think, Rumble still had his first one and didn't question Thrust when he kindly finished the other two he ordered for himself.

'Thrust...' Rumble said in a stoic tone, and the drunk con rolled his head to face the cassetticon with drowsy optics. Rumble was smiling, it was scary. 'I have never seen anything so well done and with an Autobot... You got a real talent.. A date, some free energon and scared the scrap out of Spyglass. Genius.'

Thrust grumbled and lolled his head back to facing the table without a word. Slowly his right hand lifted the cup closer and tipped it over his helm. The iridescent fluid poured out and landed in a puddle under his face. Rumble watched on, very confused.

SLURP... SLURP... SLURP...

The spilt energon retracted slowly back to his helm with each obnoxious slurp until it was all gone.

'Thrust?' Rumble asked with a raised browline 'What are you doing?'
'Drinking...' Thrust said, 'Creatively.' As if to prove this he held up his left hand and poured the contents over his head then slurped it off the table too.
'Are you drunk?'
'No. I'm filled with courage. Hic. Give me another round barmech!'
'You're drunk' Rumble said with concern and checked his internal clock 'And your date with Air Raid is in several orns! 'It'll be fineeeee. Hic.' Thrust wrapped an arm, very cosily, around Rumble and dragged him closer to cuddle Rumble properly. 'But no-one has told me the next lesson!'
'Kissing... naturally.' Thrust crooned and leaned his faceplate into Rumbles, the little con felt very uneasy of where this conversation was going. 'It'll be fine...' Thrust added, patting Rumble on the head like a pet at which the little mech was grateful for - it could have been worse.

Meanwhile, Ramjet carried an oversize crate of goodies through the halls of a docked Nemesis. Those who tried to pass him had to duck under or barge him out but his head slam reputation made most weary to do the latter. All expect Starscream. The commander stopped as he saw Ramjet approach and pushed out his hand. A walking blind Ramjet merely kept walking until a great force pushed against his crate and then pushed into him. Making the black and white con fall back and land perfectly on his aft while his crate tipped and spilled its contents all over the walk through.

'Hey!' Ramjet snapped but then saw the crooked grin of his commanding officer.'Oh. Its you.'
'What do you imply by that?' Starscream said, placing each hand on his hip and sneering down at the youngest conehead. 'Nothing sir.'
'I see. Think I am a fool then?'
'No not at all.' Ramjet said earnestly but he doubted the mistrusting commander would believe him let alone anyone believe Ramjet.
'What is all this for?' Starscream bent over and picked up a string of mini lights, suited for a control panel, not a giant mech like the seeker before him.
'Its uh. For my date.'
'Red light diodes...' Starscream questioned and put them back down to pick up an old rusted box with exposed mechanical insides 'and what is this?'
'A musical box.' Ramjet took the box carefully from the commander 'I'm going to fix it up for her.'

Starscream burst into laughter, stepped over his fallen side ranker, his foot missing a string of decorative mirrors that Ramjet spend the entire afternoon making by mere millimeters. Ramjet let a vent of relief escape but remained tense until Starscream was well away from his creations. 'So...' Starscream said curiously 'Who is this date of yours?'
'uhh...' Ramjet gathered the items slowly, pretending to be distracted 'Its uh...'
Starscream stepped forward and placed his big foot over the smallest box that hadn fallen out. Ramjet gasped and reached for it but his commander threatened to drop the foot. 'Tell me Ramjet. Don't delay.'
'Its Slipstream.' Ramjet held hid air intake. Starscream stared, emotionless. 'Honestly.' Ramjet added.
'Heh.' Was all the spangled jet said but he removed his foots impending doom over the box. 'Good luck.' He said casually after and walked off far too calmly. Ramjet wasn't a total idiot, Starscream was up to something.

'Oh Ramjet...' Starscream said. 'Here it is.' Ramjet muttered to himself and looked up at his commander who now stopped and turned back to face him.
'How did you get a date with Slipstream?'
'I was uh.. charming?'
'Uh-huh. And what are you and your brothers up to with Rumble?'

Ramjet seized at the question and shook his head with a shrug of his shoulders. That was safer than flat out lying.
'Don't be stupid.' Starscream snapped 'I know you're up to something. Do you really think I wouldn't know?'
'I uh... hoped you wouldn't.'
'Nothing is more hopeless than hope! So what is it then?'

Ramjet pondered what he could say, he blankly stared at the mirror chain he made but he couldn't really see it as his optics had glazed over in deep processing. 'If you're going to lie...' Starscream said with a huff 'You could at least come up with it faster! Sheesh, do you jets learn nothing from me?!'
Ramjet crumbled his face for an answer but struggled with that too.
'It was a rhetorical question, don't answer it! What are you doing with Rumble? I demand to know immediately!'
'Alight, alright...' Ramjet said finally and scooped up a handful of mixed metals to put them back in the container they fell from. Starscream still waited impatiently.
'We're helping Rumble...'
'To do what?'
'He's...' Ramjet took a deep breath to prep his systems for the long winded explanation. 'He's trying to solve the mystery of Soundwaves lost footcover. Slipstream and Flamewar are his suspects and my brothers and I are gathering evidence for him, because they trust us. SO we're going to get them drunk on a fake date so they will slip up and give Rumble enough evidence to prosecute the guilty femme. All this stuff here is to build an internal mind controller so we can tap in manually if they refuse to give in.'
'A mind controller?' Starscream asked with a cocked brow. 'And who, pray-tell, is designing said scientific controller?'
'Dirge.' 'Uh-huh. And its because Soundwaves missing a footcover?'
'Yep.'
'You're helping Rumble for what then?'
'Special favours.' Ramjet said suddenly, not knowing where the conversation he originally planned in his head went or where this new explaination was coming from. 'So you're helping Rumble find Soundwaves footcover with a mind controller invented by Dirge to be used on the suspects Flamewar and Slipstream - who are so clearly outof your league - ... for special favours?'
'Yep. Thats it.'

'Good grief.' Starscream said 'I thought you were trying to score with the femmes to show Rumble how its done but we all know you and your brothers reputations run bigger than the actual product. In a desperate attempt to keep said faux repertoire. You brainlessly agreed to help him. One of you, I'd say Thrust, chose a difficult target to woo and I suspected it only got worse from then. I even had the aerialbots somehow on the cards. Special favours and a footcover didn't even cross my thoughts.'
'Wow, you really are smart.' Ramjet said truthfully, in the middle of Starscreams hypothesis he even panicked but Starscream believed his lie. 'I'll pretend that wasn't sarcasm... Carry on Ramjet. I have no time for missing accessories - and only for favours too? - such a waste.'
Ramjet nodded his head profusely, eager for the other mech to leave.
'Oh by the way.' Starscream said again and Ramjet let out an obvious groan of frustration. 'You want Slipstream to talk? Serve her hi-grade hot and her fillers cold, then wait.'

The conehead placed the last of his spilled items back into the crate as Starscream finished and looked at his commander, slightly confused, but he never explained it any further. At least Starscream didn't know what they were really up to, though Ramjet wasn't sure if his explanation was easier or better. And what of his advice? Was it true or did Starscream want a stab at Slipstream for something she had done?

-authors note-
As you could tell this was a filler chapter, to build up for the dates. Sorry :(