*A/N: I got out of my Development of Poetry exam early so I decided I'd write a bit more before I had to go to work and because I promised you guys/girls quicker updates. As always thanks for reading and/or reviewing, it means a lot to me.*
Letters To Emily: Chapter 7
Naomi's POV
"What the fuck is this?!"
I spin around quickly to look at the person that's standing in my doorway. Fuck, shit, holy mother of god this is bad. I jump off of Emily's half naked body and look around on the floor for my T-shirt. Fuck where is it?
Emily remains still on my bed, not moving a muscle. I will for her to get up, to make some sort of motion that will show me she's going to stand up for us but she sits there. Her towel is barely hanging on to her wet body and her hair is completely mussed up. I give up looking for my T-shirt and I also give up on the notion that Emily is going to make the first move.
I turn to face the doorway with my arms across my chest, trying to hide my upper body and trying to look defensive all at the same time. I get the feeling that it isn't working.
The mirror image of Emily glares at me and if looks could kill I'd be six feet under right now.
Katie opens her mouth and repeats, "What the fuck?" Her words are being spat at me, like poison but she turns back to stare at her twin who is still motionless on my sheets.
Emily's eyes skitter away from Katie and she looks down at the bed. I sigh and step forward, removing one hand from my chest and holding it out to Katie, "Hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Naomi."
She looks at my hand with disgust and pushes it aside. "Fuck off, bitch. I don't give a fuck who you are, I just want to know what the fuck you were doing to my sister."
I cross my arms again and glance back at Emily, hoping that I can meet her eyes. Why won't she stand up and come over to me and take my hand like I want her to? Why won't she calmly tell her sister that what we do is our own business and not hers?
Emily glances at me for a second but then her eyes travel to Katie. She opens her perfect lips and says, "Katie…Naomi and I…we were just…I mean it's…" She shakes her head and falls silent again because obviously words are failing her.
Katie's fists clench and she takes a step towards my bed and towards Emily, sensing the tension I edge to where I'm almost in between the two. Katie's face is red as she shouts, "What the fuck are you playin at Ems? I leave for a week and you let some fucking muff muncher feel you up? You're so fucking stupid!"
I see tears come to Emily's eyes and I can't help but interjecting, "Katie…it is Katie isn't it?"
Katie turns away from Emily and towards me, her lips twisted into an ugly scowl, "I didn't give you permission to fucking talk to me, bitch, so don't do it."
I smirk back at her, "Well…I'm glad I don't need your permission to talk then, in fact I don't need your permission to do anything and neither does Emily. Now I'd like to know what you're doing in my house…in my room, shouting at me. You have about five seconds to give me a good fucking reason before I kick your skanky ass out to the curb where you belong."
Before I can even blink, Katie's hands shoot out and she shoves me hard. I stumble backwards and my foot catches the leg of my bed, which spins me around and sends me crashing face first to the floor. I put out my hands to catch myself but it's too little too late. I taste the saltiness of blood in my mouth and almost cave into blackness when my face hits the wooden floor.
I hear Emily shout my name but it's all kind of muddled right now. Two similar voices mingle in my mind and I feel them moving around above me. I slowly pull myself into a sitting position and touch my throbbing mouth. My fingers come away wet with a little bit of blood but it doesn't feel too serious, I must have just bitten my lip.
I look over at the two girls standing above me. Emily is still in her towel shouting at Katie for pushing me
I watch still feeling fuzzy as Katie's hand shoots out and smacks Emily in the face. Emily gasps and her hand goes to her cheek that already turning red. Feeling anger washing over me and clearing my mind, I stand up, ready to fucking tackle that bitch for even touching Emily.
However, Katie isn't attacking Emily any further. Actually she's staring at her hand as if it isn't really part of her body. Emily sinks back down to sit on my bed and she looks so little and sad that I want to go hug her. I see a tear slide down the cheek that Katie just slapped and I know that she's seconds away from really crying.
Katie takes a hesitant step towards Emily and I'm ready to intervene before I see that she's not going to hit her again. Instead Katie kneels in front of Emily and tries to meet her eyes. Her voice is sad as she says, "Ems…Katie sham."
I don't know what the fuck that means but for some reason it sounds like an apology. At very least, even if she is speaking gibberish, Katie isn't shouting at Emily any more.
Emily looks up at Katie and her eyes are still filled with tears, "I'm sorry too….but Katie I can't fix this. Please just say it's ok. Please?"
Katie shakes her head and slowly rises, "I can't, Emily. I'm sorry but I just can't. You need to fucking sort this. I shouldn't have hit you but this just isn't us. I can't accept this. I won't tell mum or dad but you need to fucking come to your senses and it would only crush them." She stands up and walks stiffly over to my door, "Emily…I'm going out this door, get dressed and meet me outside, we're going home."
With that Katie walks out of my room and closes the door softly behind her. Emily sits on my bed with a few tears leaking from her eyes. I take a step towards her but she stands up and walks away from me.
"Can I borrow some clothes?" Her voice is quiet and she sounds cold, not like the Emily I've come to know.
"Emily…" I want to tell her to stay, to stand up to Katie, to not leave me like everyone does.
Emily shakes her head and finally looks up at me, "Naomi…please can I just borrow some clothes?"
I swallow the lump that is building in my throat and walk over to my closet. I pull out a random shirt and a pair of shorts and toss them at Emily a little harsher than I needed to. She accepts my anger and motions for me to turn around. I sigh and turn my back to her, hearing the rustle of her towel as it finally gives up on clinging to Emily's body.
I know from the silence and the lack of warmth in the air that this isn't going to go well. I know that as soon as Emily changes, she's going to walk out my door and leave me just like she promised that she never would. I feel a righteous sense of injustice rage through me. She came into my life and made me change how I view my entire world. She forced me to drop my walls and led me to believe that she'd never hurt me. Now, just one day in to being with me, she's going to leave. I feel tears sting my eyes but I push them back inside of me. I'll feel this pain later, right now I need to be strong. I need to look as if this isn't killing me because if Emily knows the pain that she's causing then she'll know that she succeeded in slipping inside my defenses.
A few moments later Emily's soft voice reaches my ears, "You can turn around now."
Her eyes meet mine and she takes a step towards me, "Naomi…I…" Once again when I really need words to come from her lips, they falter and fail.
I lift an eyebrow at her and gesture towards my door with my hand, "Wouldn't want to keep Katie waiting now would we?"
Emily walks over to me and I try to keep my strong façade going even though it's hard with her standing this close. She reaches one hand down and gently touches the back of my hand with one finger. I know if I look at her now, I'll break and I'll ask her to stay so I just don't look at her. I close my eyes and when I feel her lean in and plant a ghost of a kiss on my cheek I clench my fists to keep my hands from reaching for her.
Her voice whispers in my ear, "I'll call you when I can…bye Naomi."
Her words sound final and so does the click the door makes when she finally steps through it and closes it behind her.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Two days…two whole days. I try not to worry about her, I try not to care. Instead I walk around Grandpa Walt's house like a ghost. I don't eat like I should; I didn't really sleep last night. Instead, I worry. I worry about her. I know it's ridiculous to care this much, especially since I'm so royally pissed at the way she left but I can't really help it.
Mum made a huge deal about the cut on my lip and it kind of felt nice that someone was worried about me. But I didn't revel in it like I wanted to. I pushed away the bit of ice she had held out to me and retreated back into my room.
Now here I am, lying on my bed, thoughts swirling around in my mind. I know Mum will want me to come down for dinner soon but I don't think I can force my stomach to take any food in. I check my phone for the thousandth time in about an hour but there's still nothing…not a text, not a missed call.
I let out a huge exasperated sigh and resist the urge to toss my phone across the room, its not the phones fault anyways. It's Emily's. A soft knock on my door makes me sit up quickly. The door opens just a bit.
I expect my mum but instead Grandpa Walt's balding head pokes through my door. He pushes the door open just a bit more and shuffles into the doorway. He looks around the room and blinks, "This used to be Gina's room you know?"
I look at the deep red walls and the bookshelves lining them, "Yeah…I know."
Walt clears his throat roughly pulling my attention back to him, "Well…she's a bit worried about you."
I shrug, "Well she shouldn't be…I can take care of myself."
He smiles, the edges of his eyes crinkling up, "Yeah…I'm the same way myself. Stubborn. I was lucky to find your Grandma Susan…she was the only person who could put up with me."
An unexpected wave of sadness washes over me. I didn't really know Grandma Susan very well thanks to Mum's fight with her. However, it seems sad to me that now Grandpa Walt is stuck inside this house without her. I offer him a smile that I otherwise might have hidden, "Yeah…Mum said that you guys really loved each other."
His voice is rough as he says, "We did." He runs his hand through his thinning white hair and looks at me seriously, "I know that you and I aren't exactly close but I'm a bit worried about you to."
I open my mouth, "I can…"
He interrupts, "Take care of yourself…I know. But Christ you're only seventeen years old. You should be having some fun, making mistakes, falling in and out of love…that kind of stuff. Now look, dinner is ready downstairs. At least come and eat a few bites so that I don't have to listen to Gina bitch all night about how thin you're getting."
"Fucking hell…" I mutter and rise from my bed. As soon as I realize the cusswords that have come out of my mouth I look quickly up at Grandpa Walt.
He chuckles, "Trust me, I've heard worse in my life."
Dinner is actually fairly normal. Grandpa Walt tells some great stories about how much of a prick Mum was when she was a teenager.
After dinner and telling my mum and Grandpa Walt goodnight, I go back up to my room and check my phone again…nothing. I'm just about to give up on Emily. She obviously wasn't ready to handle this situation and I don't need any more drama in my life. I've had about all I can take.
My phone vibrating next to me makes me jump but I look down at the screen. It tells me I have a new text. Opening it up, I read,
Come to your back door.-Ems
I don't quite know what to expect as I walk down the stairs in the dark. I try to keep quiet so I don't disturb Mum but the stairs creak a bit beneath my socks. When I reach the door, I take a deep breath. I remind myself not to expect anything, to keep my guard up.
I pull the door open quickly and the sudden movement makes Emily spin around to face me. She's sitting on the steps leading up to the back door and she's dressed in a light shirt and a pair of shorts. I know she has to be freezing because its quite chilly.
"Fuck, Ems…it's quite cold out here. What are you doing?"
She picks up her cell phone from the step next to her and stands up to face me, "I've been sitting here for a bit, trying to work out what to say to you."
I lift an eyebrow at her and lean against the doorframe, "Got it worked out yet?"
She smiles a bit, "Not really…you gonna invite me in?"
"Dunno, haven't quite got it worked out yet." I know I'm being a bit bitchy but she deserves it doesn't she?
Instead of being offended by my mean streak Emily has the audacity to laugh at me, "Naomi…let me in the damn house, we need to talk."
I don't actually invite her in but I do step away from the doorway and walk into the house. I feel Emily follow me and shut the door behind her. She follows me back up the stairs and I grimace as they creak again underneath our weight.
When we reach my room, I gesture for her to go inside and I pull the door shut behind me. I'm about to say something devilishly clever, I think, but Emily steps up to me and pushes her lips against mine. I immediately forget any and all words that could ever come out of my mouth because I'm busy taking hers in.
Her lips move over mine gently but with passion and I'm again lost in the sensation of what it's like to kiss her because to be honest it's fucking fantastic. Her hands travel to my hips and she jerks me closer to her body. There are reasons I shouldn't be enjoying this as much, why her tongue shouldn't be in my mouth right now and my fuzzy brain is trying desperately to function through the fog of Emily's closeness.
When she pulls back to breathe for a bit I finally grasp on to the fact that I'm supposed to be mad at her. She leans back in a bit but I put my hands on her shoulders, stopping her head from leaning in.
Emily's face is filled with confusion, "You alright?"
I step out of her arms and walk across the room where it should be easier to think, "Not really. Jesus, Ems. Your fucking sister walks in on us and you leave and don't call me for two days?"
"Uh…yeah. I told you I'd call you when I could. But I did miss you so I snuck out tonight to come see you."
I shake my head at the way she doesn't seem to know she's pissed me off, "Look…maybe you're just not ready for this. I'm taking all this risk letting you into my life and I really can't be let down, waiting on you to stop being such a fucking coward." My words are really harsh and I see how they hurt her a bit.
Instead of stepping down and apologizing though, Emily steps forward, anger all over her face, "Don't you dare do that…act like you're the only one that's taking a risk with us. Naomi, you don't seem to understand, my family would probably fucking disown me if they found out. I've actually spent the last two days arguing with Katie, trying to convince her to give us a chance. My life has been fucking hell since she walked in on us, if you even knew the shit I've had to put up with. And I snuck over here tonight, knowing that Katie might choose to tell my parents at any moment. I'm sorry I didn't just jump on Katie with guns blazing the other day but she's my fucking sister. I'm willing to risk everything in my life on this and I don't even know what you want from us or me…or even if you fucking like me back an ounce of how much I like you."
I'm taken aback by her huge speech and I'm expecting her to walk out the door but instead she sinks down onto my bed, flops backwards, and puts her hands over her eyes. I realize that I haven't been very fair in my anger towards her. I assumed I was the only one who was scared and nervous about this. I didn't think about the consequences this relationship could have for Emily. I called her a coward even though now I see that she's being incredibly brave.
I walk over to the bed and flop down next to her; I'm surprised when she doesn't pull away because that's probably what I would've done in her shoes.
I reach down and thread my fingers through hers, causing her to turn her head and look at me.
I smile at her and she shakily smiles back. I have a hard time ever admitting I'm wrong but this time I think calls for it, "So…I'm a bit of a fucking twat."
Emily chuckles, "Yeah just a bit but I'm a bit of a fucking coward."
I smile with her and I know that we're both apologizing to each other without actually saying the words, "Well aren't we a pair? Fucking twat and coward."
She rolls over so she's facing me and rests the side of her face on one slender hand, the other one comes up to play with my hair absentmindedly. I smile at how innocent and loving the gesture is all at the same time.
Something she had said is bugging me a bit so I say, "Well you were wrong about one thing."
Her hand stills, "Really, enlighten me."
I roll over so I'm straddling her and her mouth forms a warm smile that's looking up at me. I lean down and brush her lips with a feather light kiss. She goes to deepen it but I pull away and say, "You said you don't know if I like you as much as you like me."
Her brown eyes bore into mine and I see the fear, hope, and wanting mixed within them. I continue, "Well…I do…like you, I mean. A lot. Probably far more than I should."
Her smile spreads across her entire face and I feel a bit emotionally naked at my confession so I try to lighten the mood by saying, "Well, it's either that or the bottle of vodka I drank just before you came over."
Emily laughs because she knows bloody well that I'm not drunk but she lets it slide as she reaches up and starts tickling my side. I try and twist away from her seeking hands and reach down and tickle the bottom of her foot at the same time. Emily's giggles fill up my room and soon we're involved in a full blown tickle fight. She grips my waist and pushes me under her on the bed and begins running her hands up and down my side, causing me to curl into a ball. I'm laughing so hard that I've got tears coming out of my eyes and I whisper, "Give…give…" with what breath I'm able to suck in through my laughter.
Emily settles on top of me and stops tickling me. I look up at her, wiping tears away from my eyes. Emily's eyes find the cut on my lip and she brings up one hand and strokes it with her thumb. "I'm sorry she hurt you," Emily murmurs.
I smile at her to let her know that it's ok now. Emily leans down and gently kisses my bottom lip where the cut is. I pull her in for a deeper kiss and feel her sigh in to my mouth.
As she presses against my body and her lips move over my neck I realize that I do in all honesty like her more than I should. This is only going to be a summer thing and the thought of leaving Emily even after such a short time of knowing her makes me sad. I don't want to leave a bit of my heart behind in Bristol when I return to London but it seems as if Emily isn't going to leave me with a choice.
Emily nips my top lip gently between her teeth and pulls me out of my melancholy thoughts. I don't know what's going to come at the end of the summer for me…or between us. In fact I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or the next day but for right here and right now, I've got Emily. And that is more than enough.
*A/N: Sorry if it seemed like they made up a little too quickly but I wanted to show that they're able to talk things out and that they can really work as a couple even if they have problems and such. Trust me, there will be enough problems in this fic w/out them fighting with each other…drama coming up soon, pinky promise*
