I slid the dark pencil across my eye lid lightly, letting the color make my eyes look brighter. I sighed as I put my makeup away and glanced in the mirror. I had my lucky necklace on. It was simple, sure, but it was special to me. I had it since I was nine. It was a small angel holding my birth stone, which was aquamarine. I smiled at it; it stood out from my little black dress. It was a simply dress, about mid-thigh length. It tightened around the waist, making my shape stand out more. I smiled lightly, fixing my hair. It was pulled half way up and the rest was curled. I looked good for once. I stared in the mirror, leaning forward. I stared straight in the eyes in front of me, trying to understand why they weren't blood shot and watery. I bit my lip, I knew perfectly well why. I put on some light lip gloss and slipped on my flats, which were black. My father stood by the window, staring outside. It was raining for once. I kept silent, knowing nothing I said could help. He turned and smiled at me.
"You look beautiful Bella," I nodded, holding my hands together behind myself with my small black purse. "We go," I asked in a soft voice. He nodded, and sighed. "Yea, I'm sorry," he said for no reason. He walked past me and opened the door, holding it for me. I walked past him and noticed how blood shot his eyes were. I ignored it. I walked to the car and got in, slamming it a little too hard. Luckily for me he didn't notice as he climbed in. The drive was silent. We drove past the buildings in a blur, my mind stuck in California.
Why hadn't he said goodbye? Oh, because I'm a stupid insane girl that he's forced to go to school with. It's bad enough his sister is my room mate, so if he ever wants to see her he has to see me. I really did ruin his junior year of Collage didn't I? I sighed as we pulled up to the sidewalk. I climbed out into the light drizzle without an umbrella. I didn't want one. My father held his tightly as we walked towards the people crowded around the whole in the ground. I looked down, not daring to possibly unleash the tears now.
My father shook slightly, more tears coming. I finally glanced up at everyone as they spoke to each other. I recognized little family and many friends. I wasn't surprised there was much family. They had all been pushed away. I tried to match the faces with the names, which wasn't working. I kept my eyes narrowed and emotion free, not a sign of happiness or sorrow, of confusion or despair. I felt like I was being watched as I slid around through the people and accepted the "I'm so sorry," and the "It's such a tragic lose." I would just simply nod and keep walking, not wanting to have any conversations. I glanced around warily; feeling like I was being watched and followed wasn't the best feeling. Though I wasn't really looking forward to going back to California either.
Finally, we all stood around the hole in the ground as they lowered her bed into it. The preacher spoke loudly, but it was just a blur to me. I stood at the end of the hole, staring down at it. It twisted around, laughing at me. I thought I would have cried, but my face didn't even twitch. My father stood next to his mother and father by the preacher, nodding as he wiped more tears. The rain continued as he spoke. Others were crying also, but not me. I felt that warm gaze on my back again, but ignored it. I didn't really care anymore. If I couldn't cry for my mother, I didn't deserve to live. Suddenly a light grasp of two familiar arms wrapped around my waist, and some ones chin rested on my shoulder. The cold breath swept me into realization and I turned a little to catch those- which had to be contacts-amazing green eyes staring at me.
"Breath," he whispered to me. I looked back at the other people. No one had noticed, but Doctor Cullen had slipped into the group of people. He shot me a slight smile and a wink as he let his eyes drift down to the hole as the preacher continued the prayers. "What are, how," I couldn't think straight, stunned that Edward and his father were here. He chuckled lightly. "Just visiting my father, and wanted to see you," he whispered lower at the ending. I smiled lightly, my pale cheeks lighting up. His grip tightened and I realized I had wrapped my arms onto his, holding on for support at the lightness in my knees. We were silent as the preacher finished and everyone slowly fled.
I turned around and faced him, our faces inches from one another. Everyone was gone, and silence pierced my ears. His eyes were serious and sincere. They fell from my left eye to my right, searching for some emotion. His hand was on my arm and the other was holding my hand lightly. I stared at him with one thought. He had come to see me on his own, so he couldn't hate me too much. My breath let out and I looked down. But he was supposed to hate me. He shouldn't be with me, because he was so much better than me. "You look beautiful," he whispered to me. I shook my head. "Why did you come," I asked, ignoring his comment.
"I felt bad about not seeing you when you left, I wanted to check on you and make sure you were doing okay and all," he answered as if it was obvious. I looked up at him, raising my voice a little. Luckily no one else was near. "And why wouldn't I be okay!?" I asked. He just stared at me. I shook my head, feeling my eyes burning and starting to water.
In an instant I had collapsed into him, bawling my eyes out into his shirt. I sucked in his scent for comfort. As I slid to my knees he held me, following to the ground. I didn't dare look at his face, but closed my eyes and enjoyed the tight hug was getting. I liked it, far too much than I should.
The light, now cold, rain continued as I continued to cry. It hurt to cry now, because I knew I wasn't crying for my mother, but for myself. I felt bad, that I wanted to like him but couldn't. That I wanted to cry for her but couldn't. That I wanted to feel close to my dad again, but couldn't. I couldn't do anything that I wanted. It was selfish to cry for myself, to cry over something that was my own fault. I didn't care right now; I just wanted to get it out. Edward didn't say anything, but ran his hand down my hair and wrapped one arm around my waist. Eventually I stopped crying but didn't stand up. I sat there, grasping to him as if he was the air I was breathing.
"Bella, I should get you home," Edward finally whispered. My eyes slowly opened and the gray light seemed bright. As my eyes adjusted I realized it was starting to get dark. I nodded and he helped my up. Just as I stood up and balanced I leaned into him. At first he just looked at me, but I just stared ahead at his car, across the grass. He wrapped his arm around my back and smiled, tightening his grip as we walked towards his car. I leaned my head into him as me walked, smiling to myself slightly. I had forgotten how nice it was for him to hold me like this.
I climbed into his Volvo with nothing but silence. He shut his door lightly, seeming to be in a good mood, but the worry was visible all across his face. He turned on the car as I stared out the window. I stared at my reflection in the window as another few tears skidded down my cheeks. I looked beyond pitiful. He turned on the radio but kept it down low. I recognized the song as "Already Over" by Red. I loved this song, but I was in too much of a daze to enjoy it.
I felt his hand slid over mine and lightly squeeze. I quickly turned and looked at my hand, somewhat stunned to see his holding it. I looked up at him and he smiled lightly turning back to the road. I stared down at our hands and realized it was wrong. IT was all wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to pull away. I smiled lightly, trying to lighten the mood. I turned and stared back out the window, but never let go of his hand. The drive was longer than I had thought, but I didn't care. Edward made me feel better.
The car slid into the driveway of Charlie's house. I stared at the car in front of us with wide eyes. There was no way he could, that he- I looked at Edward. He stared at the car in front of us with worried and curious eyes. It wasn't Charlie's car, and he knew that. I gulped, my plan kicking into action the second I made it. "Edward," I said in a quick voice, the anxiousness to leave was all but too obvious. He looked at me, his eyes falling together with mine as if the fit together like a puzzle. "Thank you, for everything I mean," I said. Without thinking I leaned forward quickly and kissed him on the cheek, swiftly opening the door and slamming it behind me. I ran to the front door and opened the door once Edward had pulled away and was far down the block.
I stared at the doorknob hesitantly, not sure if I should open it or not. The adrenaline kicked in and I bit my lip, pushing the door open. He was perched on the couch with a worried look on his face. His eyes were already plastered on my face. The house was dark except the flashes of lightning from the storm. Even outside it was dark now. I stood in the doorway, staring at him with my mouth parted. His eyes burned with the lies he thought I couldn't see. "Bella, my love," he whispered and stood up, walking over to me. He stopped inches from my face, his hand taking my cheek. A few more tears-or rain- slid down my cheeks. I wasn't sure right now. The terror lifted my stomach and everything drained from my body. I felt light headed. "I've missed you so," he whispered in his dark voice. If anyone could pull off the evil demon laugh, he could, and his voice was just as bad.
My lips quivered as I struggled to speak. I couldn't speak. His eyes burned into mine, and I felt that ripping feeling of my heart again. Damn him and that special power he had over me. I struggled to breathe correctly as he continued. "I'm so glad, you've come back again, love," he said with a slight smirk. "And I'm terribly sorry, for your mother," he said wiping away fresh tears. I felt my throat burning and I flinched back a little, which he didn't allow. He caught my hand and pulled me closer, an evil smirk on his face. "R-riley," I whispered in a cracked voice as more tears fell to the ground. He grinned fully now, "Yes, I'm back," he whispered as he shut the door, pulling me into the living room slowly. He was back, but I knew then, that it wasn't a good thing.
Edward's POV
I bit at my lip as I pulled away from Bella's father's home. I was suddenly extremely upset. She had rushed to the house once she saw that car. That black, dangerous looking car. She had that small leak of fear in her eyes as she left, but she had too many years of hiding her emotions for me to be completely sure. She hadn't gone inside until I was gone, which was another bad sign. I pulled into my father's home slowly and sat in the car.
I couldn't help but smile at the memory that seemed to happen just moments ago. She had hugged me. I was glad, that I had showed up. Who knows what would have happened to her when she had that break down. She didn't seem upset that I was there, thank god. I was worried she would be disappointed. She seemed more, stunned, in a daze. It was also a good thing that Carlisle was there. I might have followed her father around with a knife. After everything she had been through he- I stopped and took a deep breathe. I was becoming insane. I glanced up at the house and sighed, climbing out into suddenly heavy rain. The lightning flared as I walked to the door. I wasn't sure I liked how this was turning out.
The mysterious car, the weather, and how she was suddenly eager to get rid of me. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing that she ran off to, or something dangerous. From what I had read of her past, it was an 80% chance it was something bad, something that would hurt her. Of course she'd get rid of my faster then, always hiding her past from the others. Damn it…Bella Swan would drive a man crazy.
I stared at the roof of my mother and father's guest room. I was in a pair of pajama pants, no shirt, just staring at the roof. The window reflected the rain onto the floor and roof, setting the mood for a sorrow movie. Just great… I glanced at the clock; it read 1: 54 am. I bit my tongue, wondering if she was okay. I hoped, and prayed, she was okay. I didn't want to imagine what she could be going through right now. I sighed, my eyes falling shut. I couldn't sleep at all, but I certainly couldn't call her right now. I cleared my mind and reminded myself that she was strong, she wouldn't break. She'd be okay until I got her back to California. And with that I slipped into sleep, unwillingly…
The next morning, or, later day, I should say, I was eager to get to her house, to see her again. I got dressed quickly and grabbed my phone as I slipped on my shoes and walked into the kitchen. The phone kept ringing, until finally she picked up. "H-hello," she hadn't looked at the caller ID. I bit my lip, she sounded troubled. "Bella," I said to myself, but she heard. "Oh, hi," she said, sucking in a breath. I got to the point. "Can you come with me somewhere today, like hang out," I said quickly, almost regretting it. "Um," she said blankly, I heard a low chuckle in the back ground, a man's voice. She choked a little. "Yea, I can, but I have to be back before two thirty, for my flight I mean," she said in a struggled voice, like she just wanted to hang up. "Okay, I'm coming now," I said, more forceful than I meant. "Okay," and then she hung up.
I ran out to the car, it was still drizzling a little from yesterday's storm. I sped out of the driveway much too quickly and was still speeding all the way to her home. I pulled into the driveway and was climbing out of the car when she ran out to the passenger seat. She had been waiting for me so I wouldn't have to go to the door. Ha, she probably thought I wasn't that observant. Sucks for her, I notice everything now. I got back in the car and glanced at her. She smiled lightly, pulling the sleeves of her sweatshirt down around her hands. I smiled at her, glaring at the black car in front of me as I pulled away, I swear I saw the curtains move as we drove away.
"So, how are you feeling?" I asked as I stirred my soda with the straw. She shrugged, sipping hers. "I'm doing much better, just a little dazed," I nodded, knowing she was just trying to cover up for the phone conversation earlier. "I'm glad," I whispered to myself. She didn't say anything, though I think she heard it. I glanced at her face to see that she was in deep thought, it made me cringe. I hated not knowing what was bothering her. "Bella," I said without thinking. Her eyes raised and met mine; I ran my hand through my hair and leaned against the table. She had her hands cupped around her glass.
I took in a silent breathe, I had already set myself into it, I might as well get it over with. "You know that, you can trust me, right? I'm, I'm here for you," I said in a low, seriously concerned voice. She nodded. "There's nothing wrong it's just an old friend," She blurted out and then her eyes grew wide. I nodded, acting normal. "It's nice of them, to come see you, I mean, now and all," I said, trying to get more information. She stared at me stunned; obviously I was doing a good job at keeping my cool. "He's not really the person I'd want around now, but it's nice to see him," she said in a soft voice. The way she spoke made her words seem like lies, which was probably true.
"So," I said, not able to think past the anger that was boiling up. She looked at me. "You really want to know," she stated the fact. "He's my ex-boyfriend," She said as if it was a casual thing. I stared at her, quickly gaining control and nodding silently. "He gets protective, and he's stupid. I get annoyed with him easily. He has this stupid control thing over me, and I get all light headed. He's," she struggled to find the words. "He's difficult," she sighed. I was surprised she was suddenly telling me all of this. She said it with no emotion, though with her she was probably just hiding it because she thought she had to.
"He heard I was in town and wanted to see me," she said. The fear and anger just kept boiling. "And he wants me to stay here with him," she blurted this out accidently, I could tell when she bit her lip instantly and looked down. I stared at her in a daze, the words stuck in front of me. She, she wasn't actually considering it, was she? "And you want to," I stated. She bit her lip, debating whether or not to tell the truth or shoot out another lie. "Yes," she started; just the one word shoved the knife into my chest. I choked on air and struggled to breath, she continued to stare at the table, sipping her drink.
"But, I have school, so he's thinking about coming to California with me, and possible enrolling in the college since he could transfer, like I did." Twist the knife and pour salt water on the wound why don't you!? I nodded as my response, I couldn't speak. I just hoped that the emotion on my face didn't give me away. She was really good at this hiding the way she felt thing, its harder than it looks!
"What's his name?" I tried to sound positive. "Riley, he said he's changed, but I really don't know," I sighed to myself and she finally looked up at me. "You wouldn't mind, if, he came with me, right?" That did it. Stab me seven times and throw me in the ocean…
I stared at her stunned, why was she asking me? Why would my opinion matter to her? It's her ex boyfriend, why would she ask me if it was okay for her to get back with him? "Sure, I guess, it's your choice," she searched my face, not able to find the truth. I was lying straight to her, and I knew that, but I had obviously gotten very good at hiding it in the last thirty minutes. She bit her lip slightly, not noticing that she was doing it I assumed. I sipped my soda while still looking at her. She was debating what to do; it was kind of a big decision. "Okay," she suddenly choked out. Her eyes gleamed in tears, and she looked down. She was losing track of what she was thinking about. She was having trouble hiding those crazy emotions of hers, those crazy emotions I loved and wanted to see. I wanted to see her smile, really smile.
I lightly touched her hand. "It's fine, really Bella, I don't mind," I said in a serious voice. She looked at my hand and nodded. Did she want me to tell her I didn't want him to go? Did she want me to tell her that-crap…
I bit my lip. Maybe she was counting on me to tell her I liked her, which was true. I pulled my hand back and mentally cussed myself out. I couldn't back track now, I had already said the wrong thing. If only I could see what she was thinking, understand why she was, was suddenly fighting to hide her emotions from me. She usually could do it with ease, and yet now she was barely able to. "I better go then, I still have to pack, and he'll need to pack also," she blurted out and jumped from the table, running for the door of the café. I threw a ten on the table and chased after her. I grabbed her arm. "What's wrong Bella, please just tell me!" I begged. She shook her head and wiped a few tears away. "I'm fine really, I just, have to go," and with that she ran down the street back towards her father's home.
I stood there, staring after her, and realized I had just back tracked by a lot, I wanted her to like me, but I may have just ruined that chance again. I got in the car with the look of death in my eyes as I headed back to Carlisle's house to get my things, I had to get to the college before she did to tell the others. This wasn't going to be a very pleasant year anymore…
Oh wow. I cry over this chapter.
Riley is the new charector. :)
Prepare yourselves. Grab the popcorn, soda, and maybe a tredmill.
I'm starting the DRAMA.
Yes. I use all capitals because this will be BIG DRAMA.
Don't you just love it when I taunt you like that? Hehehe. :)
I was listening t "Where is the love" by the Black Eyed Peas when I wrote this chapter because I just love that song. XDD
I lurve you Mariena, I wish you have your phone. :(
Okay so, anyways. Riley is not an abusive boyfriend, but he easily breaks Bella. She has this attatchment to him because he's the only one who knows about her past, and she's worried that he'll tell everyone, so she's kind of edgy around him. He knows this, so he has like all mighty control over her.
That's just a hint to the BIG DRAMA.
:DD
Loves you all!
Review!!
