It proved to be more difficult to be alone around the castle than Belle thought it would be. Along the next few weeks, Rumplestiltskin followed her around wherever she went and, although she liked to have his company and enjoyed the fact that he was willing to tell her stories about most of the objects he had, Belle still hadn't found the proper opportunity to take off the necklace and see what happened.
And things were getting stranger every day, even if she tried to pretend that they were not. Three days had passed and she was laid tired and sleepy in her bed, when she felt Rumple slipping away. She reached for him, grabbing his arm and making him look back at her.
"Stay with me," Belle pleaded.
"No," he answered freeing himself and standing up. "We shall not sleep in the same room."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm saying so."
That night, after he left, she wept against her pillow, thinking that she was a fool and he was just using her, because if he truly wanted to be her husband, he would be truthful with her, he would lay by her side and cuddle with her in bed until she fell asleep to wake up in his arms the next day, but instead, she was always alone above crumpled sheets. Belle started to think that all those romances she read, were just silly lies to delude naïve girls like her, making them think that things like True Love were real, when it clearly wasn't. Marriage was all about the man's needs, she concluded.
As desolated as Belle felt, she discovered that cleaning wasn't enough to distract herself anymore, and although she made a great work in the treasure room, she thought it was time to move somewhere else.
Rumplestiltskin was sat by the wheel, spinning slowly and she passed through him carrying three large books, without barely casting the imp a glance, going straight to the kitchen. She opened one of the books, flipping the pages in search of something that seemed to be rather easy and stopped at a recipe for cookies. Smiling, she picked flour and eggs from their storage and opened the enchanted cabinet that provided the rest of the ingredients she needed, at a simple word of request. That was one of the things she most liked about living in there: how the magic always seemed to get everything she needed.
The girl spent a lot of time at the kitchen, making the cookies and putting them to bake, then she went to the treasure room while she waited for them to get ready. Belle set somethings in place, finishing the task of organizing a whole glassware when she smelled something burning and her heart skipped a beat. The cookies, she had forgot about them.
Rushing back to the kitchen, she saw the smoke rising from the oven and covered her hands with two cloths before picking the hot baking tray, in which there were some black rounded things, that didn't even resemble cookies anymore. She emitted a low sound of disappointment, lower lip trembling with her sudden need to cry, which was only increased by the sound of the door behind her opening.
"Belle, what the hell are you doing?" Rumplestiltskin asked, coughing a little. "There is smoke all around!"
"I'm so sorry," she whined. "I was trying to bake some cookies."
His gaze fell down to the baking tray she had placed on the counter and the imp sighed angrily.
"These doesn't look like cookies," he pointed out.
"Obviously not!" Belle stormed. "They burned."
Her shoulders started to shake as she tried to prevent sobs from escaping her mouth, but the tears came anyway, rolling silently down her face while Rumple watched her in confusion. Using magic, he lighted off the fire and made a chair appear, leading Belle to it.
"Sweetheart, sit down a little," he instructed, helping her to do so and then kneeling in front of her, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks, brushing her tears away. "What is wrong?"
"Nothing," she sniffled. "I just wanted cookies."
"This can't be about the cookies, you are mad with something for days now. I can feel that you're distant."
Oh, so he could feel that she was distant but instead of doing something about it, he kept walking away from her every time she needed him. What kind of relationship was that? Didn't he see that he was the one hurting her? She just wanted him to open up and didn't think that this was too much to ask.
"It is nothing, Rumplestiltskin," she said, looking away from him. "Please, just leave me alone."
And instead of fighting with her and insisting that she talked, he stood up and went back to whatever he had been doing before. She cried even harder after he left, because Belle didn't know for how much time she could take this lack of trust between them and she just hoped that maybe when she took off the freaking necklace he gave her, she could find some real answers, because she truly didn't know what to do anymore. With Rumple, she never knew what to expect. When she thought she was finally reaching for him, deep down the many walls he constructed around his heart, he closed up again, and they just kept this way, having superficial conversations, kissing and making love, but still remaining strangers for one another.
Her heart was in pieces, the agony set down like a cold hand pressed to her chest, filling her with doubts and fears.
The girl sat down in there, trying to calm herself for a while more, until she gave up feeling miserable and decided that trying to be nice was and apologizing for her behaviour, was a good place to start gaining the Dark One's trust, even if it she would have to face a long and torturous road until she finally earned it, but then her mother had taught her the value of never giving up of things that are worth fighting for. Belle boiled some water, set everything ready on a tray and walked to the dining hall.
"Tea?"
"Aye," Rumple blinked, turning around in his place by the spinning to look at his wife with some astonishment. "Thank you."
He took his place at the head of the table, smiling softly at her and it was in moments like this, that he seemed so distant from the cruel Dark One he played out for everybody, that she felt the man behind the beast reaching for her, causing her to be sure of how much she already loved him, with all of his failures.
"I'm sorry for earlier, I was just frustrated," Belle said as she filled a teacup, before lifting it in his direction with trembling hands, which made it slip through her insecure fingers and fall right to the floor, splashing tea in her dress. "Oh, no. No, no, no!"
She kneeled on the floor to pick it up again, noticing the damage and holding onto a breath for a moment. Belle couldn't believe what she had just done; she was supposed to fix things now, not shatter them even more. Just the thought of angering Rumple made a lump appear on her throat.
"It's chipped," she murmured hesitantly, looking up at her husband and biting down her lip. "I'm truly sorry."
"There is nothing to be sorry about, this is just a cup," the imp assured offering her help to her rise again. He took the cup from her hands and filled it with tea once more. "Here, I'll drink from it."
"From the damaged cup?"
A lazy smile spread on his face. Rumplestiltskin slowly traced the border of the teacup, watching with the corner of his eyes as Belle slid to a chair next to him. She was the most precious thing he could ever have dreamed to acquire and he wouldn't trade her for any great treasure.
"You're not the only one who is a bit mad," he chuckled.
"I'd like to prepare the dinner for you," she popped up, ignoring his comment.
His eyes widened and he almost spilled all of his tea at the thought of Belle just attempting to enter kitchen again, the girl didn't even know how to make cookies, so she couldn't just think she would make dinner successfully. Of course, he never expected her to be a great cooker, because she was a princess and obviously wasn't raised to do a maid's work.
"You almost burned the castle to the ground with mere cookies."
"Don't be dramatic, Rumplestiltskin," she rolled her eyes, "they just didn't end up any good."
She had that look on her face, too stubborn to be dissuaded.
"Well do what you must, dearie, but please don't start a fire."
"Very funny," Belle grumbled, making her way back to the kitchen.
The imp stayed there, sipping tea and then spinning, ears and nose attentive to any sign of a smell that could smoke or a noise of something breaking, but nothing came and when Belle finally appeared again she wore the most hopeful smile. The girl placed a giant pan in the middle of the table and then brought the bowls and spoons and served them, giving Rumple an expectant look as he tried her soup.
"What do you think?"
He swallowed, trying not to let a grimace appear in his face. The imp had eaten a lot of horrible things during his life, however could ever compare to Belle's attempt to make a soup. It was awful. He had no idea of how she could make a couple of vegetables and meat lose all of their good flavours this way.
"It tastes... Odd?"
"Seriously?" Belle asked, sceptically.
"Have you tried?"
"No, but - "
"Do it."
Rolling her eyes, the girl lifted a spoon to her mouth tasting the soup and hoping that Rumplestiltskin was just making fun of her, but unfortunately, he wasn't. Dropping the spoon back to the bowl Belle furrowed, fighting to swallow everything.
"Oh, gods," she mumbled, "it is awful!"
Rumple laughed slightly, thinking that she looked adorable when she made that annoyed face. Her nose wrinkled, her cheeks lifted up a little and her eyebrows narrowed so much that they almost seemed to be one, it was amusing. Waving a hand, he made a whole new banquet appear for them.
"Now, real food."
Even though he expected Belle to smile and start to eat, once more she surprised him when her reaction was completely different from what he thought it would be. She looked down at her new empty golden plate, a long deep sigh escaping her lips, showing how distant her mind was.
"I'm sorry," the girl whispered.
"For what?"
"For being a bad wife," Belle answered in a hopeless voice. "I know that's why you never sleep by my side or never share much about yourself."
The guilty hit him like a thousand heavy rocks. He had been deceiving her so much lately and he truly wished he could give her more, be honest and give her all the love she deserved, but he couldn't, for Rumplestiltskin had to keep being the beast he ever was and not allow this relationship to evolve more, because what he was feeling for her was dangerous.
When he asked her hand in marriage in that deal he made with King Maurice, he thought that Belle would be just another object to his collection, but one that he could use more often. When he decided that he wasn't going to harm her and for so, he would lock the girl on the tower, he thought that he could just forget about her existence. When he shared her bed for the first time, he thought he could get to control himself and let it be just a night of pleasure.
In all of these occasions, Rumplestiltskin was wrong. And now, he had to plan every step he took, so he wouldn't end up ruining everything, including his own life. He needed her to take those potions, to wear that necklace, to keep in the dark, but above all, he needed something always poisoning their feelings for each other, for they love must not be pure.
However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help caring for her. His little wife, held a special place in his heart and he was never going to be able to erase the damage she had already done in there. Her name was written all over it.
"Belle, look at me," Rumplestiltskin said, reaching for her hand and lifting it to place a soft kiss in her palm. "You are perfect, alright?"
She smiled shyly and it was like the light was been brought back to the room. Belle had that power. Belle was the glowing moon in the night sky and the rising sun that woke him every morning. Belle was his weakness.
Later that night, when they made it to her chambers, Rumplestiltskin took his time unlacing her bodice and taking off all the layers of her gown until she was gloriously bare to him. He lowered the lights, never allowing her to get a better view of his body and he didn't properly adore her like he wished he could do, actually he needed to admit that he wasn't being a good lover to her, because he never gave her everything she deserved, as the selfishness must remain to keep things in balance. But Belle seemed satisfied with anything he was willing to give her, at least in terms of their coupling.
She never complained, only murmured love to his ears as he moved within her and the way she always held him so close, almost cradling him in her arms as he gasped and groaned against her sweaty skin, always made him unsure and fearful after it all was over. But Rumplestiltskin hoped that, in the future, might a day where he could share the same feelings he wife seemed to have for him and even increase hers, however, that future seemed to be very far away.
He laid spent at her side, caressing her beautiful curled her in one of the simplest gestures ever, but also one that he very rarely did, but after everything that happened during the day, he felt the need to reassure Belle of his utter devotion for her.
"You know, I've never made love to anyone before."
She lifted herself in one elbow, looking at him with mistrust shinning in those gorgeous blue irises. Belle might have been an innocent when they first shared a bed, but she was pretty sure that she would have recognized if he was an inexperienced as her.
"What about Cora?"
"No, my darling," he answered, touching her brow tenderly. "I have lain with many women, but I've never looked deep inside their eyes or felt so connected with them when I did so."
Belle sighed, her heart being suddenly lighted by his words. Usually there weren't moments like these, he would just leave too soon, but she was really grateful that he just remained there for now, how long it may last. She traced down his chest in the darkness, loving the texture of his skin against her fingertips, it was unique and it was all hers.
Risking ruining that moment of peace wasn't something that she was willing to do, however he sounded so sweet that the words simply slipped out of Belle's mouth before she couldn't help herself.
"Do you love me?"
His expression changed, getting less soft and more apprehensive.
"I care for you, very much," was all he could say, before his eyes go wide and he quickly slipped off of the bed. "Damn it."
"What is it?"
"I'm being summoned, very far away from here," Rumplestiltskin explained, dressing himself with magic. "Sweetheart, the door will remain open and I will come back in a day or so."
Belle sat on the bed, gripping the soft blanket to cover herself as she watched him walk to the door.
"Rumple," she called and he briefly looked at her over his shoulder. "I do. I love you."
There was no answer from him, he simply disappeared leaving her alone once more, just like any other night, but today a little excitement took Belle as she reached for her nightgown on the floor. She waited for some hours, until she was totally sure that Rumple was already gone, then she took off the necklace, placing it beside the potion he had left for her as usual. Then, she made her way downstairs.
Author's Note: Guess daily updates are not happening, right? I'm so sorry. I'll try to do better.
And to all the dear guests leaving those lovely comments: Thank you so much. I wish I could reply to you all every single time, but the site does not offers this option and sometimes I just forget to add an answer to the main text of the fic. So receive all my love now. Your comments are very much appreciatted.
