Twilight belongs to S. Meyer, I'm just messing with it.


"It makes me uncomfortable." James said as he pushed around his scrambled eggs.

"I know it does and it's completely justifiable, but he's alone. He needs a friend." Edward countered.

"I'm sure he has plenty of friends."

"Plenty of gay friends?" Edward challenged.

"I don't know" James shrugged and continued. "From what you say he only has one gay friend and that's you, which would be fine except for the fact that he likes you. Honestly, if that were the only problem I would encourage you to help him come to terms with who he is, but he has no respect for our relationship and, honestly, I don't think he has much respect for you. He tried to take advantage of you when you were drunk and then puts the blame on you. He fucking kissed you when he knew you're taken. I just don't want you around him; at all."

"He's confused and probably scared."

"Stop defending his actions. He's not a good person." Frustrated, James threw down his fork.

"He's not a bad person." Edward stood and cleared both their plates from the table. "He can be an asshole, but he's got some good in him."

"I doubt that. He's been nothing but an asshole to you."

"Fine. Whatever. You don't want me to talk him, I won't fucking talk him."

"Edward, don't be like that."

"I'm not being like anything. I'm reacting to you trying to be a dictator."

"Edward…" James stopped himself from saying anymore.

The conversation had been going on since they woke up and it was only going in circles. When Edward looked up at James he saw that his eyes were closed and that he was taking long slow breaths, something he did whenever he was trying to fight back tears. At the sight Edward realized that he was wrong in this situation. Logically, Edward knew he would be acting the same way James was if any of James' friends tried to pull the stunt that Jasper did, but for some reason he couldn't help but to feel that James overreacted.

"Look, just let me make sure he's okay and then I won't talk to him anymore, except for this project." Edward said with a sigh. "I need to get to class though."

Gathering his things Edward ran out the door. He made it half way down the hall of the apartment complex before he turned back around. He walked into the kitchen and saw James still sitting at the table, only his head was buried in his hands and he was shaking slightly.

Edward knelt down by James and gently placed a hand on his thigh. He felt James stiffen then relax a little.

"James, baby, I love you and only you. I'm being an idiot right now. I'm sorry. If you're not okay with me talking to Jasper I won't. I don't mind not talking to him; I just wanted to make sure he's got a support system. I don't have to be included in it. He's not the best of friends to me, but the point is that he still is... was my friend."

James shifted so that he was now facing Edward and put a hand on top of the one on his thigh. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't tell you who you can or can't hang out with. This is part of the reason I love you so much. You're so caring and forgiving. If you think he needs it right now then go help him."

"Like I said I'm just going to make sure he's alright and then he's out of our lives. He's caused and is causing too much drama between us and I'm tired of it."

"Please don't give up for friends for me. What type of boyfriend would I be if I asked you to do that?"

"James, you're my priority not him. You make me happy and all I want is to make you happy." Edward said as he kissed James' hand. "And right now I'm doing a shitty job at that. Let me finish this quarter out still speaking to him and after that it's nothing but us. Okay?"

"Okay." James nodded then tugged on Edward's arm so they could both stand "Baby you're gonna be late for class."

"I'm not going." The past couple of weeks had been hard on their relationship and Edward figured that he should spend a few extra hours with James.

"Can we go back to bed then?" James said with a sly smile.

"Yes, we can." Edward laughed, "Let me text my group members and tell them I'll see them at our meeting."

"Mmmk, don't make me wait to long." James whispered into Edward's ear as he ran a hand across Edward's ass.

Edward hurriedly sent out a text to his group and went off to their bedroom to join James. When he got there James was already lying down with his arm strewn over his eyes, he climbed onto the bed and covered James' body with his own.

"I love you so fucking much. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Let's hope you never find out. Right now though, I need you."

The kisses were unhurried as they gently caressed one another. They took their time undressing, appreciating the other's body along the way. At that moment it was about reassurance and love and nothing else. Although the pace remained slow it didn't take long for Edward to start begging and for James to give into it.

Afterwards, the boys curled into each other. Between romantic whispers and loving kisses Edward couldn't help but to feel off. He was frustrated, he was ready to feel comfortable and content wrapped in the arms of his lover.

Later in day Edward met with his group. The tension between him and Jasper was palpable. After the meeting ended Edward approached Jasper.

"You emailed James." He stated.

"I owed it to you."

"Yeah. You did." Edward's tone was cold.

There was a tense silence between the boys and just as Jasper was about to walk away Edward started talking again. "Are you okay?"

"I think so. I'm not great, but what person would be after having their heart broken."

"That's not fair. Just being associated with you is like being on a rollercoaster; you like me, you hate me, you kiss me, then you lie to me and I never know what to fucking feel around you because you can't make up your own mind."

There were people standing around and while Edward didn't mind having this conversation in a room full of people Jasper did.

"Can we please talk somewhere else?"

"I don't know if that would be appropriate."

"We don't have to go anywhere where we'll be alone, just someplace a little more private." Jasper pleaded.

"Answer me a question first. Do you have people you feel comfortable talking to about being gay?" Edward paused for a second then continued, "Besides me?"

Jasper nodded.

"Then I'm gonna be honest with you; I don't think we should be friends."

"What? Why?" A look of shock decorated Jasper's face.

"You don't have any respect for me or my feelings." Edward explained using James' words.

"No, I respect you." Jasper argued. "I know I've messed up when it comes to you, but I don't think what I've done warrants the end of our friendship."

"Jasper, let's be realistic. You've been this way with me since I first came out and I should have never reconsidered building a friendship with you after that."

Letting out a long sigh Jasper brought up his arms then dropped them to his sides in a defeated motion. "Edward, I'm confused. I think I may have been since high school and I'm taking it out on you. I'm not lying when I say you're the only male I've felt this way for."

Edward didn't miss the emphasis he put on the word male; which made Edward start to think that Jasper is just looking to experiment. At that thought Edward let his anger overtake his thinking. How dare Jasper do this to me; Try to ruin my life so that he can see what it's like to fool around with a guy.

"You know what? I don't really care." Edward spoke without thinking. "I didn't start this conversation with you so that you could proclaim your feelings for me."

"Then why are you talking to me." Jasper asked although he didn't really want to know the answer.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay and that you have people to talk to."

"I have people to talk to." Jasper answered curtly.

"That's good. I'm sorry I can't be here for you during this, but I need to focus on my relationship with James. I can't risk losing him. I hope you understand."

Jasper searched Edward's eyes for something, he didn't know what, but all he saw was honesty behind his statement. Jasper gave a small smile and walked off without saying a word.


One week passed then two and it was time for finals then Christmas break.

Edward hadn't spoken with Jasper save for group work and even then he tried to keep their conversation to a minimum. Although he didn't talk to Jasper much he took to watching him when he could. There was a sadness about him that Edward didn't like, but did nothing to change. More than a few times Edward wanted to talk to Jasper, to see how he was, but every time he felt guilty. Edward had to keep reminding himself that he needed to be there for James.

In the time that had passed since their conversation in the kitchen Edward hadn't spent a day away from James. He couldn't bring himself to complain about that though. James made him smile and Edward could tell that James was doing everything that he could to make him happy. Though it would be a lie to say that Edward didn't yearn for some alone time. On select nights Edward would feign exhaustion so that he could pretend to sleep and be left alone to his thoughts. As much as he hated to admit it he was starting resent James. Even though he quit talking to Jasper of his own volition he blamed James for it. The resentment only led to more guilt and Edward could feel it all weighing down on him. Finals were up and he found himself actually welcoming them. It gave him something to focus on other than his personal life, which he had decided is hell.

During the week of finals Edward found himself holed up in the library. His solitary study confinement wasn't due to the fact that he couldn't study in his dorm room or at James' place, but rather his need to put some space in between him and James without doing any damage to their relationship. He knew as soon as finals were over he had a week that would be filled with nothing but James and work and Edward didn't want to feel suffocated.

When finals ended Edward feigned illness to keep from seeing James and refused to let James take care of him claiming that he couldn't stand the thought of James getting sick and missing his annual family skiing vacation because of him. Only two days before Edward planned to go home did he see James in person and from the way that James hugged him and peppered his face with kisses he would have that they had been separated from each other for months instead of days. As Edward had expected it to happen James didn't leave his side for those two days unless one of them had to work or use the bathroom. It drove Edward crazy, which only made him feel the guilt and resentment all over again.

It was the night before Edward had to go back to Forks and he and James were in bed doing what lovers do when Edward noticed that something was disturbingly off. He couldn't get himself into it. While he was still aroused and going with act, he wasn't there mentally. Edward was thinking about other men, which wasn't normal at all. Before recent events all he needed was James and no one even existed to him. He tried to push all the others out of his head, but couldn't because, even though it hurt him to admit it, James suddenly wasn't enough.


Edward stood behind the oversized glass doors of Bellarmine Hall watching the rain come down while he waited for him mom. She had called him on the way over saying she would be delayed because of the traffic, but he decided to wait down stairs nonetheless. When he got tired of standing and waiting for her he sat down in an nearby chair and began to read, hoping it would make time go by faster. He was so caught up in his book when a pair of familiar hands covered his eyes he screamed.

"Malice!" Edward exclaimed when he saw her.

"Sorry it took so long, there was snow and I was running late. Your mom had to wait for me."

"That's okay." Edward smiled and looked around. "Where is mom?"

"She's in the car. She didn't want to get out, it's too cold." Alice explained and then grabbed his hand.

They walked to the car hand in hand and for the first time since he had arrived back from Thanksgiving break he was completely at ease. At one point on their drive back to Forks Edward's mom asked if him and James had gotten over their fight which earned Edward a glare from Alice because he hadn't told her about it. After which he gave her the CliffsNotes version of the drama which seemed to appease her. He decided that his mom didn't need to know about the drama at the rest area, but that he would tell Alice about it when they get some alone time.

The rest of the Drive passed rather quickly. The three stayed up and chatted for a little longer before Edward's mom admitted that it was way past her nightly affair with The Sandman. Before he could even finish bidding his mother goodnight Edward was being tackled to the floor.

Alice kneeled on Edward's chest and had his left nipple in a pinch.

"Now you tell me everything or your nipples are going to be so bruised that a snowflake landing on them with hurt."

"Jesus woman!" He yelled and tried to move, but Alice dug a knee into him. "What type of steroids are you on?"

Alice twisted his nipple and said "I'm not above torturing information out of you."

"I can tell! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Let go of my fucking nipple and I'll tell you everything you want to know."

"Damn straight you will." She laughed before jumping off of him and offering her hand to help him up.

Edward slapped her hand away, stood up and rubbed his nipple lightly, wincing at the action. "God, you're fucking strong for being so tiny."

"Emmett's a big guy; I like to hold my own when we wrestle." She waved him off and then took her place back at the kitchen table.

"Poor man." Edward shook his head.

"Get to storytelling or I'm not gonna let go of your nipple this time." Alice threatened.

Edward proceeded to tell her everything that happened and when he finished he expected Alice to throw a huge 'I told you so' in his face but she didn't.

"Hmm." Alice grunted before standing up and putting some more water to boil.

"That's it? Just a 'hmm'?" Edward asked wide eyed.

"Well… yeah. I can't exactly say I'm surprised. I've thought Jasper was gay for awhile and I know he's an asshole so his actions aren't really out of character." Alice clarified.

"Oh." He didn't want to hear anything else Alice had to say about the situation so he quickly changed the subject. "So how are you and Emmett?"

"We're doing great, now. I thought he was cheating on me with some girl, but he wasn't."

"How do you know?"

"He told me he wouldn't do that to me and I believe him." She shrugged as if her answer was the most logical.

Edward wondered if James would believe him if he said that or if he had ruined that permanently.

Alice left shortly after, promising that she would be back midday so they could go shopping for snacks and prepare for their night of gaming.

True to her word Alice was at Edward's house at the agreed upon time and they headed off to the local grocer. It was during an argument over which kind of chips to get that Alice spotted Jasper and called him over before Edward could protest.

When Jasper got close enough Alice jumped on him, hugging him tightly. "Oh my God it's been forever! How are you? What have you been up too? How do you like college? And Seattle?"

Jasper opened his mouth to reply but Edward beat him.

"Alice." Edward spoke simply.

"Oh I'm sorry. I need to give you time to answer. We're kind of in a hurry to though so you'll have to tell me later. Do you want to come to Emmett's tonight for our little get together? It's just Emmett, Edward and me, but it'll be fun." Alice invited him excitedly.

"I don't think Edward wouldn't take my presence there very well." He looked Edward directly in the eyes as he answered Alice.

Alice looked back at Edward and then at Jasper. "Oh he won't care. He knows better than to argue with me and I want you to there."

"Thank you, but I think…" Alice interrupted Jasper before he could finish.

"Don't even think about declining." The glare she was giving him scared him a bit.

Jasper nodded his head. "Okay, I'll be there."

"Yay!" Alice jumped up and clapped her hands. She turned to Edward "Now let's get going we still have much to do!" With that she pushed the cart away and Edward followed without acknowledging Jasper again.

Once the car doors were shut Edward started yelling at Alice, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"That I want to see how Jasper and you act around each other." She smiled.

"I'm not going tonight, not if Jasper is going to be there." Edward told her.

"Yes, you are." Alice said in a tone of authority. "You owe this to me. You don't keep me updated on your life and I have to find out shit about you through your mom. You are going to let me watch you two interact."

"Alice, please listen. James isn't comfortable with me being around him and I want to respect James' wishes. Don't make me do this to him." Edward knew he was cheating by using James as an excuse, but he was grasping at any straws to not hang out with Jasper.

"I'm going to be there the entire night. You won't do shit with Jasper. I won't let you guys have any alone time. Please do this for me." She requested with wide puppy eyes.

Edward gave in.

It wasn't until he was sitting at Emmett's house anxiously awaiting Jasper's arrival that he regretted not holding his ground with Alice. He tried playing Rock Band with Emmett and Alice, but it did nothing for his nerves. He went outside to play with Emmett's dog, but every time he heard a car drive past he tensed. Finally, Edward ended up sitting on one Emmett's couch drinking some Mountain Dew and munching on Doritos while talking to Emmett about the upcoming college football bowls.

When the door bell rang Edward tried to act as if it meant nothing to him. Jasper walked in said hi to everyone and took a seat on same couch as Emmett and joined the conversation without hesitation. Surprisingly for Edward it wasn't nearly as nerve wracking as he thought it would have been to have Jasper in the same room as him.

The night progressed and the four friends kept themselves entertained in various ways, playing card and video games. At some point Emmett brought out a bottle of tequila saying everyone had to take shots. Edward declined any alcohol offered to him using the excuse that he had to drive home. Alice, however, knew his wasn't drinking because Jasper was there.

She had been watching them the entire night and they danced around each other. She caught Jasper, on many occasions, watching Edward. Edward on the other hand looked like he was making himself look anywhere beside Jasper. During her internal musings about the boys Emmett approached her and started kissing her. Although she had told Edward she wouldn't leave him alone with Jasper, she didn't think he would mind if she were gone for 20 minutes, so she disappeared off into a bedroom with Emmett.

Jasper and Edward sat on Emmett's couch playing Halo 3. They were both so wrapped up in the game that they didn't take any notice to Emmett leaving. It took a ringing phone to pull Jasper from his video game induced trance.

"Dude, your phone is ringing." He said to Edward after he paused the game.

"Shit it is." Edward reached in front of him and grabbed his phone off the coffee table.

Edward didn't bother leaving the couch to talk to the James, the caller.

"Hey baby."

"Hi." James breathed into the phone. "Are you busy right now?"

Edward could tell by his voice that James was looking for some phone sex, but he didn't acknowledge it, "Actually I am over at Emmett's house right now. We're hanging out."

"Who's Emmett?" James asked his voice back to normal.

"Alice's boyfriend." Edward answered in a defensive tone for no reason.

"Edward, why are you getting defensive?"

"You sounded accusatory."

"I didn't mean to I'm sorry. Can you step away from people for a minute?" James' seductive voice was back and at full blast which only pissed Edward off.

"James can I just call you when I get home. I don't get to see Alice and Emmett very often and I wanna hang out with them as much as I can while I'm here." Edward said.

"Yeah, okay, talk to you then." James said real quickly and hung up before Edward could say anything else.

Edward threw the phone on the table and muttered a strung of curses to himself before looking over at Jasper expecting him to resume the game.

Jasper didn't.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Edward looked around and noticed that both Emmett and Alice were gone. "Where'd the others go?"

Jasper ignored his question. "Was that James?"

"Yes."

"You didn't tell him you're hanging out with me as well." Jasper stated. He didn't mean to say it, but it came out before he could stop it.

"I know." Edward said rather condescendingly.

"Why?" Jasper resumed the game.

"He doesn't want me hanging out with you and I didn't want to start a fight with him since I had no control over you being here." Edward picked up his controller and started playing again.

The boys didn't say anything else to each other and were still sitting silently and playing when Emmett and Alice walked into the living room.

"Woah. The tension is this room sucks. Everyone needs to drink more." Emmett said before heading back to the kitchen to pour more shots.

Alice looked between the two boys on the couch and followed Emmett into the kitchen.

Jasper got up to follow, but stopped in front of Edward and took a big breathe, as if he were preparing himself, and said, "You once told me that you don't lie to James because that's the only reason your relationship works. I just wanted to make sure you know that a lie by omission is still a lie."

Jasper walked into the kitchen to take another shot.

Edward was quite thankful that he didn't drink anything because he left the second all of them were in the kitchen. He ignored phone calls from Alice and Emmett that came soon after he slammed the front door.

Once he was home he called James saying he left soon after because he wanted to talk to him and missed him. James kept telling Edward he loved him and thanked him for going home so early to talk with him. Edward didn't even consider telling James the Jasper was there. He convinced himself it was pointless.

The next morning Edward called Alice and she came over. They drank coffee and he recapped what happened with Jasper. Alice apologized for the entire night and then they let it go. Or at least Edward acted like he did. Jasper's words stuck with him even though he tried to forget them.


Christmas Eve was upon them and Edward decided that he was going to visit his dad, wish him a Merry Christmas and try to be the bigger man.

The look on his dad's face scared Edward a bit but he sucked up his fear and spoke to his dad. "I just wanted to say Merry Christmas."

"That's funny coming from you." His dad said with a straight face.

"Why's that?" Edward asked cautiously.

"You're mocking Christ by celebrating his birthday. Just your existence mocks him, he died because you're a sinner and you mock his death by choosing to be a fag!" The vein in his dad's forehead popped.

"It's not a choice dad. I was born like this."

"Don't call me dad you don't get the privilege anymore."

"Fine. Fuck you. You say I mock Christ, but you need to look in a fucking mirror." Edward didn't hide his anger this time. "Christ preaches tolerance and love. You don't have any other that, dad. Maybe you should try pulling that twig out of your eye before you start preaching to me about the splinter in mine. Like I said, Merry Christmas and I hope everything finds you well."

Edward stared at his dad, who was standing mouth agape. He waited for his dad to reply then walked away when he heard none.

He told his dad what he thought of him and he was proud of himself. He loved the feeling. Now he only wished he could be completely honest with James.


Sorry it took me forever to update this. I'll try to be quicker with the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one!