Sitting at a Starbuck's table, Alicia was slowly sipping a tall caffè latte. She was due in court in a little less than half an hour and had little and restless sleep the night before. She was feeling the pressure of being a partner, which had her feeing down at the moment. The increase of important clients carried along the growing anxiety of losing them.
Spaulding had been a real big shot. She wondered how they had taken such loss at Lockhart & Gardner. She felt some sort of guilt, though for the life of her she couldn't say why. After all, it had been the client's own choice. But seeing them losing important clients when they had just healed from their financial fallout was something that gave her a certain apprehension and discomfort. This wasn't her purpose when she left. She just wanted to distance herself from… from many things. But the irony of her always alert and overthinking conscience kept her bounded to her old firm by an invisible – yet thick – thread of melancholy and guilt. She shook her head, firmly.
Don't think about it anymore. You have a trial waiting for you and must stay focused.
Easier said than done, as the constant ding of the front door was irritating. And not just a little.
She looked up at the door and at the coming and going of customers, and had a start. Damn. Will, of all the people who could get through that door. She stared at him for a brief moment, enough to memorize that he was on the phone, his coat underarm – the weather was warmer than one would expect for an April's day – and he seemed nervous. She looked down in instinct, her gaze fixed on a magazine left abandoned on her table and the weak protection of her coffee mug in front of her face.
It had been a couple of weeks, maybe a bit more, since the last time she saw him. The night he showed up at her office door with champagne and congratulations. For a fleeting moment, a light, almost imperceptible smile surfaced, curling up her lips. No. Rationality regained control. She shouldn't allow herself to delve into such tempting memories.
She raised her head slightly to see if he was still there, but her sight was blocked by an elegant and custom-tailored gray suit. A suit that, alas, she knew very well. Like she knew the silhouette of its wearer without needing to meet his gaze. "Hey." Bye bye to avoiding him.
"Hey," Will repeated.
He seemed a bit embarrassed. Had she been so criminally blatant in her attempt to avoid him? She looked back down, fully reciprocating his discomfort. Suddenly she felt the need for a relaxing tisane rather than coffee. "I was about to leave," she said, offering a way out for both.
Will shook his head. "No, it's okay, you don't have to leave."
Good. Now she felt stupid too for coming up with the most idiotic excuse, since her mug was still half-full.
"I'm not staying, just grabbed a coffee and leaving straightaway," he saved her, offering a way out to both. Though it was probably an excuse for him as well. "It was good to see you," he said with a half smile.
Alicia nodded. "It was good to see you too," she said, as she returned the smile with a more hesitant one.
Will nodded, mumbled something that she couldn't understand in the chaos of that place before turning to leave.
"Will!" She called him back. She did call him back. What the hell was she doing? She cursed at herself. Weren't they supposed to avoid each other? Wasn't this the aim – well, one of them – of all the latest fuzz? Will was probably thinking the same, seen by his confused gaze. He was staring at her, clearly waiting for her to say something.
Her mouth open, Alicia hesitated. Yet, it was a bit too late to step back without feeling – and looking like – a complete idiot. With a hand, she pointed at the seat in front of her. "I wouldn't mind some company, I have twenty more minutes before being due in court," she justified herself.
Congratulations, Alicia. You left him, both personally first then professionally, took away a few of his associates and a few clients and now you make him feel like a "filler" for your spare time. Bravo, really.
But something in her gaze must have betrayed her, or fooled him. For Will didn't seem to read anything of it as he moved back and sat in front of her.
For a minute, maybe two, an absurd and embarrassing silence went along with the few furtive glances and slow sips of coffee.
"So… what's new?" Will finally broke the ice before it could freeze the whole Starbucks, starting from their own coffees.
Alicia shrugged. "Nothing, really…" Except we just acquired your ex-client. "We're searching for a bookkeeper," she joked.
"Is that supposed to be a job offer?" Will played along with an amused smile.
What? Alicia burst into laughter. We're searching for a bookkeeper? How in the world had she come out with that? "Might be… are you good with accounting and balance sheets?"
Will winced. "Uhm… not really, but if you are desperate I can send you my résumé anyway," he said with a shrug and an amused smile.
Alicia nodded in approval. "Sure, I'm in charge of job interviews," she joked, giving him a knowing look that she quickly masked with loud laughter. She looked down at her mug, in the hope Will wouldn't notice she was lightly blushing. Gosh, what am I doing? I'm not flirting, am I? No, this is just an innocent and funny conversation between two old friends. Her smile quickly faded away as she realized that, for the millionth time, they were breaking their sort of pact. In moments like these, sitting quietly in a cafe, relaxed, having idle chatter and some genuine laughter, she found herself doubting some of the choices she had made. As she looked up at Will, she met his clouded eyes.
"So you got Spaulding?" He asked, severe.
She looked down and shook her head in apology. "I… I'm sorry," she shrugged. What could she say? It wasn't like she had gotten in touch with the client herself. It all happened a couple of days before. "It's one of Cary's acquisition and…"
"Cary?" Will asked.
He seemed confused, but she had no idea why. Would it make any difference if it was hers or Cary's? A lost client was a lost client.
"Yes, but… Will… I would never undermine Lockhart & Gardner… not intentionally," she said with a tone that, she hoped, wouldn't leave any hint of doubt as to her honesty.
Will stared at her, motionless, silent. What was he thinking? She would have paid to know it, but didn't dare to even ask. Eventually, he nodded in what looked like acknowledgement. Still, she knew him well enough to know that he wasn't totally convinced. And she didn't know if he was doubting her, Cary, or someone else. The only sure thing was that he looked definitely thoughtful. She waffled back and forth as to dig into it or just let it go. "You okay?" She finally dared to ask.
Will's answer was a smile she knew all too well. Soft, reassuring, yet in contrast with the sad, concerned expression of his eyes. "I have to go now," he almost whispered.
Their little moment was gone, killed by the complications that leaving the firm was supposed to wipe out but only seemed to amplify instead. She could only nod, as he stood.
"Good luck with your trial," he wished her before leaving.
"Thank you," she smiled and nodded. One more long sip of coffee took her company as she watched him leave, this time for real.
