My Throbbing Heart
Chapter 7: Look At Me
The break up between Kagura and Naraku didn't go as he exactly planned. He was surprised that she got upset with him; even though she knew what they had was just a fling. Walking out of the bathroom, wearing only pajama pants, Naraku fell on his bed and replayed the scene in his head.
Two hours ago
Naraku had brought Kagura to his house, intending to have some fun, but got something else instead.
"So, what is this you have between Kagome?" Kagura asked as she sat down on the couch in the living room. Naraku just looked at her with a perplexed expression as he went into the kitchen. "Are you going to answer me?"
"There is nothing between Kagome and me, but not like it matters. If you have forgotten Kagura, we are not really together."
"What are you talking about? I am your girlfriend. I saw what was going on between you two. The way you were looking at her. You don't even look at me like that."
"Should I be?" Kagura pursed her lips together and Naraku just snickered. "You are something Kagura. You knew that this wasn't a real relationship. We both agreed that this was just a fling."
"I just agreed to that because I knew that would be the only reason you would go out with me."
"Huh?" Naraku stopped what he was doing and walked out towards the living room, standing across from Kagura. "What are you saying? That you thought I would actually start to like you? Maybe even fall in love with you?" Kagura didn't answer and Naraku started to laugh hysterically. Kagura's eyebrows bunched when she heard him laugh. Did he really find this funny? Naraku started to calm down his laughter, wiping away the tears that formed in the creases of his eyes from laughing too hard. "You are funny Kagura."
"I am not joking. I really do like you Naraku. As soon as I saw you, I wanted to be with you. When you kissed me in the back room, I felt like I was on Cloud Nine."
"Don't tell me you started to fall in love with me already and we have only been doing this fling for two weeks." Kagura stayed quiet, her eyes shifting, trying to focus on something, but not on his face. Naraku just rolled his eyes and said, "Then it is a good thing I am ending this now." Kagura looked at him with wide eyes.
"What do you mean you are ending this?"
"Exactly what I said Kagura. I do not need to be with someone who is already in love with me. I am not looking for love, just sex."
"So you used me?" Kagura yelled as she stood up, facing him. "How could you use me like that Naraku?"
"I did not use you. You knew this already, so do not try and turn this. If you want to be in a one-sided love, be my guest, but it won't be with me."
"You are only breaking up with me because of Kagome, aren't you?!"
"Why is Kagome in this conversation?"
"I saw her kiss your neck."
"So? It was just my neck. Not like she kissed me."
"I saw the look on your face. Your face was as red as Rudolph's nose and you kept touching the spot where she kissed you at." Naraku was starting to get fed up with Kagura. He pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it to the side as he shook his hair free from the band he had tying it back in a pony tail. He walked up to Kagura and grabbed her hand. "W-what are you doing?" Kagura asked, the look of fright streaking across her features.
"Touch my scar."
"What?" Naraku forced her hand on his scar, placing it on his chest before she drew away. She cupped her hand and stared at Naraku."I'm sorry. But that… is just…." Kagura couldn't piece the words together.
"You see. If you cannot even touch my scar, how will this ever work? I am ending this because you cannot accept me, the whole me. Not only that, but because you are an inconsiderate bitch who thinks the whole world revolves around you and it doesn't. You are annoying as hell and don't know when to shut the fuck up. Whenever we are together, it's either, 'Buy me this Naraku' or 'Do you know what happened to me today?' And you go on and on about yourself. You irk me and I can't stand girls like that."
Tears dripped from Kagura's eyes as she slowly looked up at Naraku. He knew he hit the nail on the head hard, but she needed to hear the truth. She gritted her teeth, showing the anger in her teary eyes. "Fuck you Naraku! You are not the best boyfriend in the world either!" Kagura grabbed her purse and headed towards the door. "You will regret this Naraku! No one will ever love you!" She slammed the door behind her and Naraku just shook his head. He picked up his shirt and headed towards the door, locking it as he went to the bathroom and took a shower.
END
Naraku turned over on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He was glad to be rid of Kagura, but he wondered if she would quit now; probably not. He heard the front door open and called out, to have Onigumo respond back. Onigumo walked into his brother's room and sat down on the bed.
"What's up?"
"You're talking to me now?"
"I was being childish by not talking to you. Also, I talked to Kaguya and she said she wouldn't bombard me if you and Kagura broke up. She knows her sister is hard to handle and wouldn't blame you if you guys did break up."
"Well that is good, because she and I are no longer together." Onigumo looked at him and shook his head. "She was too much to handle, but she also freaked when I made her touch my scar. That was the last of it. She actually thought I would fall in love with her and that this fling would turn into a relationship."
"So what now?"
"I have no idea. I want to try again with Kagome… but I don't know what to do."
"Go out on a date, but I say give it a few days before you do that since you just broke up with Kagura." Naraku nodded his head in agreement. "Who was that girl Sesshomaru was talking to at the bar?"
"A friend of Kagome's. I think her name was Rin. Speaking of which, did you see Kagome?"
"Yeah I did. She looked different, but it was a good different."
"Are you kidding me? She looked damn good. I was ten times more attracted to her than I ever was before."
"Do you think it's because she cut her hair?" Naraku shrugged his shoulders. "That could be it since you thought she looked like Kikyo. Maybe she cut her hair for that reason?" Naraku and Onigumo both exchanged looks and then said, "Naw."
"She kissed my neck."
"She did?"
"Yeah. The side with my scar." Onigumo's eyes lit up. "Feeling her lips against my scar sent a pleasure through my body. I couldn't help but blush."
"See, I told you she is the one for you."
"Maybe." Naraku turned over on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. "Is it weird that I want her touch my whole scar?" Onigumo just threw his head back and laughed.
"No brother, that is normal. I have those urges sometimes too. I love it when Kaguya traces her fingers along it or kisses it tenderly. It's just…relaxing." Onigumo stood up and looked back at Naraku. "If you do start dating Kagome, don't try and mess it up."
"I won't."
"I'm going to go take a shower and hit the hay. I'll see you in the morning." Onigumo headed into the bathroom and Naraku heard the door click shut. Naraku scratched his head and fell back on his back. All night he couldn't get Kagome out of his head. He wanted her as his own and wanted to do things to her that he ached to do for so long. His sex life was fine, but he was always stuck with doing doggy style since the girls he fucked didn't want to look or feel his scar. He hoped Kagome was different, and so far, she had proved she was. Naraku sat up and headed out his room, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter as he walked out of his apartment to get some fresh air and a fresh smoke. Lightning up his cigarette, he leaned on the rail, looking out towards the busy street and let out the puff of smoke. He soon felt at ease and took in another puff. Hearing girlish laughter, he looked down and saw Kagome and her friend Rin coming towards the stairs. Coming to the top, Kagome looked over and waved at Naraku. He nodded his head and watched the two girls head for Kagome's door.
"Um, Kagome," Naraku said as he walked towards her. "Mind if I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure. I'll meet you inside Rin." Kagome handed her the keys and Rin walked inside. "What's up Naraku?"
"I just wanted to know… why you changed your look."
"I have wanted to cut my hair for awhile. When I finally had the chance to go to the salon, I got it done. I feel like all the burden that was on my shoulders have been lifted off since I cut my hair."
"And the makeup?"
"Rin always told me I should lighten up on the tones I used. So I finally took her advice and viola." Kagome smiled and Naraku just smirked. "Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Uh, no. I was wondering, why you kissed my neck back at the bar." Kagome's smile soon faded away. She turned her body as she looked up at the sky, staring at the moon. "Kagome?"
"I'm sorry Naraku. I didn't mean to, it just happened. When I saw how sad you were when you mentioned that Kagura wouldn't touch it, I just wanted to show you that not all girls will reject you for it."
"Is that really all?"
"No." She looked back at him and Naraku just gazed at her. "I have been itching to touch your scar and since it seemed that you were too much in your head, I took my chance. Did it bother you?"
"No, not at all." Naraku faces started to swill out again and seeing it, Kagome started to as well. Naraku opened his mouth to say something but closed it. The two just stood there, looking at each other until Naraku broke the silence. "Do you mind if I ask you a favor."
"Depends on what you are asking."
Naraku scratched the top of his head and looked away from Kagome when he asked, "Do you mind, rubbing my scar?" Kagome was taken aback by his request but just smiled at him as she walked closer to him, closing the space between them. Naraku turned his gaze at Kagome when he saw her lift her hand. She placed it on his cheek, slowly caressing his skin as she moved her hand lower onto his neck. Naraku tensed up, holding his breath as he felt her fingers slide against his scar. He let out his breath slowly as she followed along his scar. Naraku balled his hands into fist, fighting the urge to hold her close. He could feel his mind slowly slip away when he felt her warm breath against him, kissing him lightly on his chest. He closed his eyes, biting down on his lip, drawing blood. Tracing her fingers down the line of his scar and back up to his neck, Kagome pulled her hand away, causing Naraku to open his eyes.
"Huh."
"Feel better Naraku?" Naraku was in a dizzy state but nodded his head slowly. "That's good, but next time, warn me."
"What do you…mean?" He said softly.
"Your friend decided to pop up on me." Realizing what she meant, Naraku snapped out of his state and turned his back to her. She giggled softly and Naraku face was turning deep red. "It's okay Naraku." Naraku fixed himself and turned back to Kagome.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why that happened."
"It's okay. But, why did you want me to rub your scar?"
"I just…needed to know something."
"Did you receive your answer?" Naraku nodded his head. "That's good. Well, I will see you around Naraku." Before walking in, Naraku grabbed her hand. "Yes?"
"Would you like to go on a date with me next weekend?" Kagome blinked at him, not sure where the question came from but nodded her head. Naraku smiled. "I'll let you know when and where." Kagome nodded again and just gave him a friendly smile. Naraku leaned his head in and gave Kagome a gentle kiss on the lips before walking away. Kagome walked inside touching her lips, wondering what came over Naraku all of a sudden.
"So who was that?" Rin asked from the couch. "He is hot."
"That is my boss."
"That's your boss?" Rin exclaimed. "He looks scrumptious."
"What about Sesshomaru?"
"Oh, he scrumptious as well, but your boss is better looking." The two exchanged laughter as Kagome stepped out of her shoes. "So, what is the deal between you two?"
"Well, he just asked me out on a date."
"Really? Isn't that somethin'. Are you going to go?"
"Maybe, I don't know. I shall see." Rin settled back onto the couch, turning her attention back on the TV as Kagome walked into her bedroom.
The next day, the bar was not as busy as it usually was so everyone was able to take it easy. Naraku was right when he said that Kagura was not going to quit. She came but didn't say anything to Naraku when she walked by him. He just shrugged his shoulders and laughed to himself. He saw Kagome walk in and a big grin came across his face. Though he was still embarrassed about what had occurred last night, he never felt so weak. Touching his scar not only made him aroused, but also made him feel normal. Kagome felt someone was looking at her and looked around to see Naraku staring at her. She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear as she walked towards the back. Naraku placed down a glass he was drying and followed Kagome. He saw her place down her purse as she reached for her apron.
"Need help tying it?" Kagome jumped when she heard Naraku speak but nodded her head. He took the strings and gradually started to tie them into a bow, double knotting it so it wouldn't come apart. He ran his arms around her waist and brought her close to him, taking in her scent; the smell of cherry blossoms. He closed his eyes and took in the sweet smell as he lowered his lips to her ear. "Remember when I asked you if you wanted to go on a date with me?"
"Y-yes," Kagome said sensitively as her cheeks started to turn. "What about it?"
"How bout we go tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I can't wait for next week. If Kagura sees us together, I don't give a damn. I just want spend some time with you."
"Really? Why now all of a sudden?"
"I don't want you mad at me again. I am surprised you are not mad at me now."
"I was in the wrong to yell at you like that. I shouldn't have gotten mad. You were right to get defensive like you did and to throw me in the loop of the other girls that treated you wrong. I was upset mainly because you compared me to Kikyo."
"I am sorry, I didn't mean… wait." Naraku turned Kagome to face him. "Is that why you changed your look? So I wouldn't see you as Kikyo?"
"Maybe," Kagome said quietly, turning her eyes away. Naraku just held her, rubbing her head. "That was part of the reason why I changed my looks. I wanted you to look at me, the real me."
"I do see you Kagome, as you see me now." Naraku kissed the top of her head as he cupped her face and looked into her eyes. Kagome placed her hands on top of his, rubbing her cheek against his palm. "Kagome, I—"
"Don't you think this is the wrong time to get all cuddly?" Naraku turned his head and saw Kagura leaning in the doorway. Kagome just chuckled and pulled away from Naraku. Kagome headed out towards the door, passing Kagura before she grabbed her arm. "Don't get too comfortable with Naraku. He'll hurt and use you like he did with me."
"Oh, I don't think so." She pulled from her grasp and continued on. Kagura stared at Naraku, giving him an evil glare as she walked out. Naraku just laughed to himself again as he walked out to look over the bar.
Naraku and Onigumo decided to close the bar early since they weren't getting a lot of customers. Naraku looked for Kagome but could not find her.
"Onigumo, have you seen Kagome?"
"She just left a few minutes ago. I believe she said her and Rin were going to go shopping."
"Oh, well, I'ma head home. I might leave later, but I need to take a shower."
"Alright, I'll be at Kaguya's if you need me." Naraku walked out and hopped into his car, speeding home so he could get fresh.
Pulling up into a parking spot, Naraku noticed a black Sudan parked elsewhere. He thought to himself and just shook his head. "It can't be," he said as he stepped out of his car, locking it behind him. He rushed up to his apartment and saw Kikyo in front of his door. She turned her head towards him and smiled. "Dammit!"
"Not happy to see me?" Kikyo asked as her smile became bigger.
"Hello no I am not happy to see you!" Naraku barked. "Why the hell are you here?"
"I told you I needed to talk to you."
"About what Kikyo? I have nothing to say to you. I am not interested in what you have to say."
"Don't say that. Will you just listen to me…please?" Naraku rolled his eyes and followed his arms. "Mind if we talk inside."
"Yes, I do mind. You are not staying long, so just say what you have to say."
Kikyo bit her lip and traced her eyes along Naraku's face. She knew he was not happy to see her, but there was something about him that drew her to him and she could not get away. "Uh… you know I still love you… right?" Naraku just made a grunt noise. "Well, I have been doing some thinking and I want to be with you again. I was wrong to cheat on you and I want you to give me a second chance. I deserve that, don't I? I know you are still in love with me. I can tell that you want to fuck me as bad as I want to fuck you."
"Are you done?"
"What?"
"What makes you think I want you back? I do not love you Kikyo, I loathe you. And sure, the sex was good, but I have had better fucks. You suck compared to the girls I have slept with." Kikyo took a step back. "And no, you do not deserve a second chance. You ripped out my heart when I caught you with Inuyasha. I don't know what I did wrong in the relationship, but whatever it was, apparently Inuyasha made you feel better. Hell, he probably had something I didn't have that you wanted. Oh, I know, not having a scar along his body."
"Naraku—"
"I don't want to hear anymore from you Kikyo. You have wasted my time with this bullshit of yours. I will never get back with you. You love Inuyasha don't you? Go be with him and leave me the hell alone." Naraku pushed Kikyo out of the way as he forced his key into the knob. He slammed the door in her face before she had the chance to get in. Kikyo fell onto the floor as tears started to fall down her scarlet face. Trying to get herself together, she wobbled down the stairs and to her car, closing the door behind her as she cried herself to sleep over the man she thinks she has lost for good.
