BONUS: Don't mess with a girl's hair

A bonus scene from Tsuky's time with the Akatsuki.

First attempt at humour, so tell me if it was weird/boring/funny/Great/terrible/the worst thing you've ever read. Or whatever you want.

I'm still working on the next chapter, it should be out rather soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto~

Enjoy!

XxxX

From the moment she opened her eyes, Tsuky knew this would be a bad day.

Her hair had become one huge, tangled mess during the night –a mess she spent close to an hour to untangle, crying in the bathroom whenever the painful brush pulled on the sensitive, thin skin of her head. She had to pause every few minutes to unclench her fists on the sink –her knuckles were turning white from the strain, and she could've sworn she heard a worrying 'crack' in the marble.

She had a fit once half of it was done –because it had actually been the easy half.

Then she'd gotten frustrated when her brush got stuck in her hair –and proceeded to pull it out forcefully.

The string of curses she let out was heard all the way to Konoha.

And after two bloody hours of struggle, extreme pain, strands ripped out and letting out colourful words that would have made even Hidan blush, she was out of hell.

But then Kisame just had to hear her, and offered to cut her hair.

Literally.

The next hour or so was spent fleeing from the crazy shark swinging Samehada around –determined to solve the problem his way. A few unlucky strands of her hair were still embedded on the bathroom wall –even Pein hadn't managed to get them out.

Of course, she could have handled Kisame –if Sasori hadn't decided the shark was wrong, and the best way to prevent the problem from resurfacing was to replace it with synthetic strands, like his.

She screamed bloody murder as they both chased her across the hideout with the goal of murdering her precious, precious hair.

And once she found herself backed in a corner, she just had to realise she had run into the training ground Deidara used to test his new explosives.

And that her hair had come lose out of the hasty bun she'd done when Kisame started chasing her.

And that both Sasori and Kisame hadn't followed her.

And that the crazy bomber was inside, currently trying out a new technique.

Oh shit.

"KATSU!"

…Two hours later, she could only mourn the torn, tattered strands of blackened hair falling lifelessly to the ground, while staring in disbelief at the ruler telling her she had indeed lost ten inches of her beautiful, silky, midnight hair.

Ten inches she had proceeded to untangle that very morning during two hours.

It wasn't even lunch time yet.

…And Itachi was gone for the day. No one would save her precious, beautiful hair.

The dark-haired girl went back to the bathroom to fix what remained of her dearest feature.

When she came out half an hour later, she had lost five inches more, lost in the explosion –and blackened beyond recognition.

The long, magnificent strands she was so proud of, where they once reached her waist, now barely went past her shoulders.

Someone was going to die.

About a mile from here, a little boy asked his grandmother why there was a hairbrush in the tree –one that looked like someone had viciously torn every tooth and burned the handle 'til all that remained was a piece of charred…something, with a few remaining sticks hanging miserably from the main part.

Tsuky stomped towards the kitchen, a dark and creepy cloud hovering above her head, the few, courageous, remaining strands rising in a vengeful demand for retribution.

Beware of the Black Hair Ghost.

Hidan was slurping some noodles on the table, boredly ignoring Deidara waiting casually by the coffee maker while Kisame ate tempura on the countertop. The silver-haired freak was the first to notice her –and proceeded to dig his own grave.

"Oi, bitch! Cutting off your fucking ugly hair's not gonna–"

Both Deidara and Kisame cringed when the boiling hot water was flung at Hidan's head. Noodles began slipping from his face, leaving greasy traces on his pale skin. One fell on the table with a slick 'splotch'. The shocked silence lasted about five seconds.

The small, wooden, normal table who had never asked for anything in its short life was mercilessly flung at the wall, briefly thinking she should have been a spatula like her mother wanted before dying in a thousand, tiny pieces of splintered wood. Deidara and Kisame shrunk behind the counter while Hidan did what he was best at –yelling profanities.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU CRAZY LITTLE-"

"…Hidan."

"…Uh?"

"Get lost."

Her chakra turned dangerously dark before he found himself closely acquainted with the wall. Deep cracks zigzagged next to his head until they reached the ceiling –and heavy pieces of plaster fell right on the poor Hidan, crushing him while he was still trying to understand that he'd face-planted into the wall. In front of Deidara, Kisame, and because of a girl.

...No, not a girl. A demon.

A demon who was now staring at him with the burning fires of hell in her gaze.

Her chakra rolled off her in strong, burning waves that had the three men shuddering in unease.

Tsuky closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Hitting Hidan wouldn't bring back her poor, lost hair. She had to accept it was gone and wouldn't be back until it had grown back, in a few months. Yeah, it wasn't forever. Her greatest pride and joy would be back soon, and in the meantime, she just had to-

"…H–hey…We didn't know, un. And, um, we promise we'll be careful from now on, sooo…please forgive us, yeah?"

His quiet, for once not annoying tone had almost (almost!) managed to pacify her.

But Kisame just had to make it worse.

"…Are you on your period or something?"

All hell broke lose.

The chairs, previously spared by her fury, flew around and crashed against the remaining walls. An innocent bowl of tempura came dangerously close to the counter's edge –when it was thrown at blonde head whimpering under the window and missed him, crashing with a beautiful arch in the forest a mile from here.

The same boy asked again if tempura could fly –and his grandmother could only usher him home while pitying the poor soul who had been on the receiving end of that bowl…

Burning coffee stained black cloaks and skins, their agonised screams echoing throughout the whole hideout.

Konan looked at the door, concerned.

"…Shouldn't we do something…?"

Pein shuddered.

"…I'm not crazy enough to get involved."

Thus they wisely decided to stay out of it.

At some point, the dark-haired banshee got a hold of a miraculously still intact chair. Her eyes burned with a vengeance. A nose cracked, several bones did too, and pieces of the walls –what still remained of them- fell. Her vengeful screams were heard deep into the forest –creeping out the child and his grandmother.

Broken chairs were thrown everywhere, the legs sometimes broken in half, often embedded in strange places. The light bulb had broken and fallen on the marble floor, denting the mosaic beneath. The windows were all broken –one of them bearing a hole suspiciously resembling a certain shark-head moron- and the glass pieces littered the room; the coffee pot stood miraculously- never mind.

Hidan was sprawled on the countertop, Deidara was frozen beneath him, and a blue hand hanged from the window, his owner pretending to be unconscious outside –so he'd avoid the storm a bit longer. In vain.

"TOUCH MY BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS, PERFECT SILKY MANE AGAIN AND DIE!"

They all cringed, bracing themselves for another rampage –but nothing happened. The tornado stomped outside, obviously still in a foul mood –but they were safe. Finally.

Kisame slowly got to his feet, before slowly re entering the room. Hidan turned so he was on his stomach –but didn't dare move any further. Deidara did not move at all, though his eyes slowly went back to their normal size.

They surveyed the disaster before them.

"…Did she just say 'mane'?"

"…Did she say 'perfect'?"

"…She said 'silky'?"

They looked at each other.

Deidara shivered.

"…Alright. I'm going to pretend this never happened and live blissfully ignorant for the rest of my life."

"This is never getting out of this room."

"…She's fucking crazy."

Footsteps were heard outside and they all stiffened.

She was back. The demon was back to finish what she'd started.

Three fearful looks were directed at the door…until blood red eyes stared back at them. The three sighed with relief, before slumping to the ground. This was not good for their health.

Itachi raised a brow at the unusual reaction. Relief wasn't what the others expressed when he walked in a room. Had he been anyone else, he would have felt offended and promptly reminded them why they were supposed to fear him –but his eyes choose that moment to glance at the room before him.

Utter chaos.

Broken furniture laying everywhere, holes in the walls and ceiling, chipped mosaic –Kakuzu was going to have a fit- and wasted food on their clothes. Add the fact they looked all on edge, as though something –someone, if their reaction to his entrance was of any indication- would come in anytime now and finish what he had started.

Itachi looked at them.

"…What happened here…?"

They glanced at each other.

"…"

"…"

"…Your student is Satan's spawn. Yeah."

XxxX

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